Gaeltime Garcia Bernal

Dessert, Golden Globe Gold, Golden Globe Gold: Goldy Bird, Snack, Sweets

With the Motion Pictures covered for  this year’s Golden Globe Gold celebrations thanks to Ry, Rich and Di, I’ve turned my attentions back to the TV noms – dutifully kicked off that to Katey – with a man that first snatched my attention 18 years old, Gael Garcia Bernal.

Side note: fuck I am old.

Obviously I first met Gael while he was working on Y Tu Mamá También. Alfonso invited me to set to advise on early noughts homosexual experimentation – very specific job I know – and I instantly fell in love with his piercing green eyes and sexy accent.

I then went down a rabbit hole – his included – learning Spanish and embracing my ethnically ambiguous appearance to make myself more attractive to him. Which worked and lead to a torrid love affair that will flood my basement until the end of time.

While it didn’t work out, we remained friends against all odds and as we parted as lovers and became friends, he vowed to remember me. Me being me, though he said remember you. In any event, that inspired my dear Rob to write the song Coco about our love affair.

Another side note, but Coco will make me sob every damn time I see it. I mean, too much.

As soon as we locked eyes on each other, we ran into the other’s arms and held each other close, remembering the unbridled sexual chemistry we shared, and thankful that its end birthed our beautiful friendship.

I mean, it was powerful. With that moment out of the way, we focused on the task at hand and started running the odds, Gae knowing better than most that my bookies will catch up with me if we don’t do write. We started with his victorious category, agreeing that Michael Douglas is primed to win Actor in a Musical or Comedy despite Bill Hader or Jim Carrey being the most deserving. For Actress, Gael is backing a back-to-back win for Rachel Brosnahan, while I think that Kristen Bell win sneak in to victory as The Good Place – gasp – takes out Best Comedy. If only for the Janet episode. And obviously we both want Henry Winkler to give another adorable speech so back him, despite my boys Alan and Ben facing off against him.

Spirited debate, and loving, platonic support meant we has a gay old time, which obviously was topped off when me smashed … a Gaeltime Garcia Bernal or two.

 

 

Gaytimes are literally the greatest ice cream of all time. I mean, they are sold as being gay so that is a win but then you add in toffee – though I went with caramel, FYI – and vanilla ice cream, chocolate and glorious vanilla biscuits? I’m moister than an oyster when Gael visits.

Enjoy!

 

 

Gaeltime Garcia Bernal
Serves: 1, let’s be honest.

Ingredients
1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream
2 cups Shangelato
100g milk chocolate, melted
2-3 tbsp cream
1 cup Gaytime Crumbs

Method
Get the Vanilla Ice Cream out of the freezer and leave to soften slightly before spreading in a lined slice tin and transferring to the freezer until frozen solid.

Next remove the Shangelato to soften. Once it is spreadable, spread half of it in the base of a lined lamington tray. Remove the vanilla ice cream slab and cut into bars, pressing into the Shangelato at equal spaces before topping with the remaining ice cream until the vanilla has disappeared, though marking the top to ensure you get perfectly coated vanilla blocks. Place it in the freezer to set completely.

When you’re ready melt the chocolate and cream in a microwave, stirring until it is soft and well combined. Remove the ice cream from the freezer and cut into their bars, and place the Gaytime Crumbs in a bowl.

Working quickly, dip the ice cream into the chocolate and crumbs and transfer to a lined baking sheet. Repeat until all coated and return to the freezer to set for an hour or so.

 

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Beef Julia Sawallington

Ab Fab’s 25th Birthday, Main

Just when you thought this week couldn’t get any more celebratory – I mean, celebrating Jen and Jane is a pretty killer start, no? – today also marks our 500th celebrity catch-up. Yes … five freaking hundred. And my dear friend Julia Sawalha is more than worthy of helping my mark this milestone.

While I only met Jules when she came in to audition for Ab Fab, I knew that she was destined for great things. One day on set she casually mentioned that she was up for the role of Lydia Bennett – in the good not Knightley version of P&P – and as a fan of the work, and a famed period acting and dialect coach, I offered up my services to help her snag the role slash steal the show.

Which I think you could agree, I was more than successful at that.

As seems to be a running theme of growing older, Jules and I aren’t able to catch-up as often as we like so she was thrilled to not only take the time out to honour Ab Fab … but also become our 500th date in the process.

“Ben, I don’t know if I’m worthy of being a milestone date. I mean, I’m no Skarsy, Solange, Meg, Kanye, CeCe – no, I am better than a Survivor that didn’t make the jury – Mischa, Nat Imbrugs, Lin Manuel. Let’s not talk about Purple Ben from this season of Australian Survivor.

“In any event, I’m somewhat worthy of your honour but would like some reassurance,” she coyly admitted.

“You’re a talented actress, one of my dearest friends and owned two iconic series! In addition, you’re beautiful, you’re a model. You look like Linda Evangelista … “

Half way through quoting the now iconic Aja, she accepted the honour and we got to work reconnecting, celebrating and chowing down on a big fat piece of meat. In the form of my Beef Julia Sawallington.

 

 

There is nothing I love more than a big piece of meat. Well, unless it is wrapped in a nice, puffy dough. That is something I’ll never be able to go past. Like Jules or the good version of P&P.

Enjoy!

 

 

Beef Julia Sawallington
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1kg fillet of beef , trimmed
olive oil
unsalted butter
a few sprigs of rosemary, leaves removed and roughly chopped
1 onion, diced
5 cloves of garlic, minced
500g mushrooms, roughly chopped
a few sprigs of thyme, leaves removed and roughly chopped
100g pate
¼ cup panko breadcrumbs
2 sheets puff pastry
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Bring a frying pan to heat over a high … heat while you rub the beef fillet with salt, pepper and a good ol’ lug of olive oil. Add another lug to the pan with a knob of butter and a sprig of rosemary, and sear the beef for a couple of minutes on each side. Remove from the pan to rest while we get to work on the rest.

Add the onion and garlic to the still hot pan and sweat for a minute or two. Add the mushrooms with another knob of butter, rosemary and thyme, reduce heat to low and cook for about twenty minutes, or until they’re nice and soft. Remove from the heat, stir through the pate and leave to cool.

Preheat the oven to 210°C.

Place a sheet of pastry on the bench and the second next to it with a two centimetre overlap. Press them together, smear the pate/mushroom mixture over the middle, top with the fillet and roll and/or fold the pastry to enclose.

Transfer to a lined baking sheet, transfer to the oven and bake for 40 minutes, or until cooked and blushing like a whore in church. Aka Kiwi hero slash Australian drunk Barnaby Joyce.

Rest for 5 minutes before serving in with gravy and mash. Then, obvi, devour.

 

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