Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens starred in hit teen sitcom 9021-ho where Aja tantrumed out of playing the hit role of Grandrea Zuckerwoman allowing Shea to slay. Though not as much as Trinity, whose demented version of Kelly’s mother snatched her the victory. On the flipside, Nina and Aja landed in the bottom two with the latter going home to regret rage blackouting her way into a different role.
Back in the werk room, Sasha was missing her fellow Brooklyn queen while Alexis was thrilled to be thinning out the room to make way for her ego. The queens then got together to run stats where Shea and Trinity relished the fact they were on top … at the moment. That in turn made Peppermint desperate for a win.
The girls then rubbed salt in Peppermint and fellow non-victor Farrah’s wounds, to which Farrah surprisingly didn’t whine.
The next day, Ru arrived to oversee a reading mini-challenge where Sasha, Peppermint, Shea and Valentina shined while Alexis was kinda just mean … but then got a taste of her own medicine, getting fat-shamed by Farrah.
Valentina took out the mini-challenge, giving her the power to assign the performance order in a legendary RuPaul Roast of – wait for it – Michelle ma’ fuckin’ Visage. To be honest, this is tougher than roasting Ru becoming she will not forgive no low-rent jokes about her.
Alexis offered to go first or last – aka the star positions – before Valentina decided Shea would open the show, followed by Sasha, herself, Trinity, Farrah, Peppermint, Nina and as requested, Alexis. Still salty about the reading challenge, she then gave the advice not to pick on people’s wait and spoke about how hurt she was.
While most of the queens couldn’t care less and were concerned about her not being able to take it far enough, the sweet kids Valentina and Farrah comforted her and apologised, respectively.
The queens struggled to try and come up with material, knowing that Michelle can and will hold a grudge if they don’t take it far enough. Clearly sensing their struggle, Ru returned with Ross to help punch up the jokes.
Ru approached Alexis to see how she was going, before flipping it around and telling her to suck it up. She then spoke about her confidence for this challenge, given the fact she is a comedy queen and will be closing the show.
What do they say about pride and falls?
Farrah was concerned about being mean, Peppermint was scared shitless given that she isn’t a comedy queen – which Snatch Game proved – though she appears starved for a win and Sasha talked about struggling with her concerns that she isn’t funny.
Not wanting to give us too much of a tease, we fast-forwarded to the next day as the queens were getting ready for the roast. Farrah and Alexis apologised for yesterday’s reading before both sticking the knife back in and twisting it.
Peppermint shared a horror story about being detained at Moscow airport because the gender on her passport didn’t match how she was presenting. Sasha having lived there for a couple of years understood the trauma, having to disguise who she was to survive.
Ru then arrived to deliver the news to Michelle that she would be the target of this week’s roast, leading – obviously – to a patented Michelle cackle. Shea got out to a strong and brutal start, Sasha read all the judges for filth before taking Michelle to church. Valentina started out slow, warmed up, then struggled again … but finished on a strong joke.
Despite a stellar turn last week, Trinity bombed … before Farrah took us to a new low, offending and annoying the entire panel. To make it worse, she made a joke about Michelle’s breath stinking up the room – I mean sure, Peppermint was next and you could perceive it to be a joke – when we all knew it was her performance.
Thankfully Peppermint brought back the laughter and the house down at the same time. Nina arrived with one of the more bizarre framing devices, which thanking worked and served her well. Rounding out the show, Alexis – the red hot favourite in her own mind – choked. Badly. While dressed as She-Hulk.
Shea, Sasha and Peppermint were rightfully applauded by the judges, while on the flipside Trinity was called out for terrible framing device … before winning them over with actual jokes. Farrah and Alexis, well, they got what they deserved, being read for more filth than a truckstop bathroom.
Peppermint finally took out a – much deserved – victory, while the bottom two were, obviously, Farrah and Alexis. Despite being the biggest disappointment of the maxi challenge, Alexis owned the lip sync – that sliding split! – putting Farrah out of her misery, as she sashayed away.
Obviously Farrah was well-primed for a moan when she made it back to the werkroom but given that me, her oldest friend – I was her kindergarten teacher five years ago – was there to cheer her up definitely helped. As did my Farrahed Moah Chicken.
Spicy, hot and dripping in flavour, this is everything Farrah would have enjoyed her roast performance to be. But seriously, this is as perfect as the judges say Valentina is.
Farrahed Moan Chicken
Serves: 1 … or maybe, probably closer to 8.
2 cups flour
⅔ tsp salt
½ tsp thyme
½ tsp basil
⅓ tsp oregano
1 tsp celery salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp mustard powder
4 tsp paprika
2 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp ground ginger
3 tsp white pepper
2 cups buttermilk
2 chickens, cut into pieces
Preheat oven to 180°C.
Combine the flour with the 11 herbs and spices – yas, guuurrrllll this be the Colonel’s recipe – in a large bowl.
Dip the chicken in the buttermilk and transfer to the spice mixture and coat generously. Repeat until done.
Heat the oil in a large pot over high heat until piping. Working a few pieces at a time, place the chicken in the oil and cook for three minutes or so, either side. Remove and transfer to a wire rack over a baking sheet.
Once all the chicken is done, transfer to the oven and bake for about twenty minutes. Remove and allow to rest for five-ten minutes before devouring with mashed potato and gravy, or by itself.