Previously on Survivor, Alan and his crazy eyes were concerned about a potential power couple forming on the heroes tribe while Cole helped Joe find an idol over at the healers, likely spelling trouble for one of them in the future. Which one it is, is anyone’s guess. Meanwhile Simone and Patrick were on the outs at the hustlers, and despite Patrick’s questionable tribal council performance was saved, sending Simone out of the game.
The next day Ryan channelled Australian Survivor’s Luke and gave a fashion parade while wearing the clothes Simone left behind. With Ali and Lauren away from camp, Ryan and Patrick started to talk about who to target with the consensus being that Lauren is next. On the flipside, Lauren and Ali caught up in the ocean while Lauren tried to find a crack in the alliance. Devon then joined them and she turned the conversation to Patrick’s questionable statement at tribal council and floated the idea of getting rid of him. Despite Ali being aligned with Patrick, she was starting to get concerned that his mouth could be detrimental in the future leaving her confused about what to do if they head back to tribal.
Which they totally will, right?
Over at the heroes Ben and Chrissy were looking for options to snatch the majority, by way of deciding on their next potential target. While Alan and JP are totally ripped, they decided that Ashley’s work ethic is too much of an asset, so one of the boys is toast if necessary. We then watched Alan struggle with a coconut for a minute, while Ashley lusted over JP exited the ocean with something on the end of his spear. Which FYI, she described as a good size. For what it’s worth, Ashley is over Alan’s unpredictability and went to Ben to talk about who they should target. While she had valid points, her constantly going into bat for JP made Ben more nervous.
Meanwhile the healers were still loving life since they haven’t lost a challenge. Well, everyone but Joe that is, who was extremely concerned about Cole knowing about his idol. Speaking of Cole, his idol and 29 year old virgin Jessica were fishing and sunning them self while strategising and falling in love. I think, I was distracted by the adorable way Cole sat while giving confessionals and the glorious sight of his nips. I mean, you could eat dinner of dem nips.
He then told her about Joe finding the idol and I’m nervous that I’m about to lose my fantasy tableware. She then kissed him on the cheek and I now hate Jessica.
Back at the hustlers Patrick openly started looking for the idol while everyone sat by the fire, making everyone feel nervous and distrustful. He then filled us in about his moving company, which would explain that booty. Ali gave their alliance one last shot, pulling him aside and telling him to cut the searching and try and form actual bonds with their tribe mates.
There were issues over at the healers where Joe had taken to tossing food away when people didn’t cook it to his liking, rightfully pissing everyone off. As such, Cole and Jessica decided it would be a good idea to flush the idol and Joe, to knock him down a peg … and out of the game. Much to Jessica’s chagrin, he then told Roark – who we’re yet to really meet – and Desi about the idol, and blindsiding Joe if they lose immunity.
Like candyman that was the third mention of immunity so Jiffy Pop appeared for said immunity challenge – and reward for chickens for first, a dozen eggs for second – where the tribes were required to run through an obstacle course before knocking blocks off a ledge and then building said blocks into a tower. The heroes got out to an early lead, while the healers and hustlers were neck and neck. The healers took the lead after the second obstacle, followed closely by the heroes while Patrick refused to let any of the hustlers attempt throwing at the blocks. The healers thought they had the victory, though forgot one of their blocks giving the heroes enough time to snatch immunity and the chickens before Jessica was thrown up again to snag immunity and the eggs, sending the hustlers back to tribal council.
Lauren lay the blame squarely on Patrick’s shoulders – is that a thing, or has Jericho’s win rubbed off on me – and got to work turning anyone and everyone against him. Patrick however, was not concerned, feeling like he was more in with the tribe. Lauren then went for a walk while Ali, Devon and Ryan assured Patrick it was going to be her tonight. Wanting to make her last afternoon comfortable, Patrick then went to Lauren – who can’t stand him – on the beach to talk it out and see if she was ok. She then asked point blank, if he was targeting her tonight which he denied, though wouldn’t offer up a secondary target. Infuriated, Lauren approached Ali and Ryan to continue her campaign against Patrick. While she offended Ryan, he seemed onboard, taking the information back to Devon to try and figure out who they side with and form the majority – Patrick who choked at the last challenge or Lauren who is steady, though a liability.
At tribal Lauren was quick to lay the blame for their loss with Patrick and pointed out that they need to function as a team, then called him son, shut him up and won my heart forever. While Ali wanted to move forward, Lauren went back and threw out that Patrick has spent his first week hunting for an idol further proving he was playing alone. She then mentioned not trusting redheads, upsetting my fetish, though continued to school him and crack sassy jokes, so was able to win me back. Ryan was like a kid watching his parents fight, Devon was hoping the vote would fix their tribal chemistry and Patrick spoke about his ability to win people over, despite not being able to win over Lauren. Which Ali pointed out, putting the final nail in his coffin.
He however welcomed said criticisms and wanted to learn from them, though sadly they weren’t willing to give him that chance as he was sent to my loving, loving arms at loser lodge. I’ve known Pat and his bubble-butt for a couple of years after hiring his moving company to help me relocate my summer house. Given my thirst is real, I sat on the lawn and reenacted Samantha watching her neighbour have sex in the Sex and the City movie while he twerked – in my mind – and somehow, we became the best of friends. Though maybe it had something to do with the way I coated him face in sticky, sweet and salty cream … in the form of my Patrick Boltontufo.
The kick of coffee, mixed with the delicate choc-chip works perfectly with the salty caramel and earthy nuts to create the ultimate dessert. If only Cole was in loser lodge to use as a plate …
4 cups Cophie Clarke Ice Cream, softened
4 cups chocolate chip ice cream, softened
½ batch JL Salkeld Caramel
⅔ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped
Line an 8-hole Texan muffin pan with cling wrap – hopefully more neatly than I did – and scoop half a cup of one of the ice creams into the bottom of the pan and place in the freezer to chill for half an hour.
Combine the salted caramel and hazelnuts in a bowl, remove the muffin pan from the freezer and place a dollop of the hazelnut-caramel mixture in the middle. Top with the other flavour of ice cream, cover and return to the freezer for a couple of hours, or until set.
Once set, serve and devour.
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