Roasted Hazelnuts

Hazelnut Daconeta Schiffer

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls finally revealed their snatches as Ru tasked them with playing the Snatch Game. As is oft the case, there were many highlights alongside some shocking lowlights. Specifically Pixie and Danny who got stuck in their heads, despite being the leading comedy queens of the cast. On the flipside, Cheddar was hilarious and shone oh so brightly, while Jonbers and Dakota stamped their place in the competition with smart performances. And then Peppa was a mess while Le Fil was there like her very polite character. Ultimately Cheddar took out victory while Le Fil landed in the bottom opposite. Peppa, with sweet Le Fil exiting stage left after a delightfully wacky lip sync. Or right, TBH – I don’t know the difference.

Backstage the girls were reeling from Le Fil’s departure, with everyone missing her kind, fun ways. And her wild lip syncing skills. Danny praised Peppa on how much she killed the lip sync before everyone toasted how killer Cheddar was in Snatch Game. Danny opened up about how badly she got into her head before the game, though wisely she just laughed it off and was ready to slay another day. Talk turned to how strong they are as a top six, with Pixie shading Jonbers for coasting and Danny went for Peppa for being the best lip syncer. Which she iconically agreed that yeah, that is her skill so you best watch out.

The next day the dolls were giddy and excited to slay whatever Ru had to throw at her. Dakota meanwhile opened up about feeling lighter after getting past Snatch Game, hoping for this week’s challenge to be something more within her wheelhouse. Which obviously summoned Ru to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be doing makeovers on the crew. Specifically, the Queen Team aka their handlers and well, if this doesn’t give us the second coming of Wintergreen, I don’t want it. Despite how excited the dolls were to makeover their heroes. Ru introduced the six lovely women – Fleur, Gemma, Lucie, Mystique, Olivia and Wendy – before pairing them up with the queens alphabetically. As such Peppa got Fleur, Cheddar went to Gemma, Dakota was partnered with Lucie, Danny scored Mystique and Jonbers got Olivia, leaving Wendy and Pixie to become sisters. 

With that Ru excited stage left – for the episode, no less – with Danny quizzing Mystique on her comfort levels and ugh, I love their vibe already. Dakota meanwhile almost broke down talking about how much Lucie means to her and how confident she is to kill the Schiffer-isation. Peppa was busy vowing to look after Fleur and turn things around and glam her up and while she was initially confident, Fleur’s aversion to heels had her bricking it. Cheddar was busy heaping Gemma with praise and seeing them giggle and vibe was just lovely. Particularly since Gemma was living for her new name, Brie Gorgeous. And then Jonbers and Olivia were just having a craic, while Pixie was giddy to have gotten the mother hen Wendy who was ready to go full glam. Though wanted to be called Hugh Jarsse, despite not wanting to be a King.

We ventured back to Danny where he was unveiling Mystique’s beard wig and well, to say she wasn’t vibing it is an understatement. While Pixie was getting Wendy working on her runway walk, Dakota was delighting Lucie with her gown. As Cheddar and Gemma continued to kiki, Raven dropped by to talk to the dolls about their concepts with Peppa sharing they would be going club kid leading to Raven reminding her to make sure the makeup is sharp and cuts through. Pixie and Wendy meanwhile had Raven giggling over her history of backstage bullock tucking and a general passion for heels. At funerals only. Cheddar and Gemma meanwhile delighted Raven with their energy, while Raven lived for Jonbers plan to clown it up, dishing out even more make-up tips.

Which coming from an Emmy winner is a real treat for the dolls!

Dakota and Lucie were super sweet and while Raven suggested they go with more drama in the make-up, I’m not sure their versions of drama are the same. Mystique meanwhile opened up about her reservations about wearing a beard on the runway and while Danny was happy to go with what she likes, Raven gave her a sweet pep talk and encouraged her to let go and embrace the concept of gender fuckery that is drag.

After Raven departed the dolls rallied around their new sisters and got them prepped with Cheddar corseting, Peppa training walks and Jonbers discovering Olivia has no idea how shoe sizing works. Mystique meanwhile was coming out of her shell after getting the padding on, living her best life and ugh, I love it. Oh and Pixie was just making a horror show of an outfit. Peppa and Fleur meanwhile bonded over their coming out journeys and ugh, I hate hearing how difficult it was for Peppa in the Caribbean, though I love how strong she is to have lived through that trauma and built such a beautiful life for herself.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls quickly getting to work on their sisters, with Danny still worried about whether Mystique would go with the beard. Peppa noticed she and Danny had similar concepts, but like the battle of the Blobbies, she was confident she would be coming out on top. Wendy meanwhile was reading Pixie – werk – while Cheddar was thrilled by how perfect Gemma’s skin was. Dakota continued to gush about how much she loves Lucie, before they bonded over the trauma of stereotyping and how they’ve come into their own when it comes to gender. While everyone was kinda just vibing, though Cheddar was nervous about it all playing out, given everyone was strong.

We transitioned to the mainstage where Michelle stepped in for Ru, Raven for Michelle and Graham for himself. Alongside Dorit and PK’s cash cow, Boy George. Jonbers Blonde and Nanu Noir opened the Drag Family Realness runway serving black and white mime perfection and ugh, I love them. Pixie Polite and Trixie Truelove were beautiful butterflies – despite Pixie making Trixie look older than she is – Danny convinced Mizzie Moustache to don the beard as they served pastel, mod glamazons and ugh, I love it. Cheddar and Brie Gorgeous were alien, ethereal glam and ugh, hand her the badge, this is perfection. Black and Chilli Peppa were connected by their hair and giving club, bondage cutesie before Dakota and Bridgette gave all the dolls in the valley.

The judges lived for Jonbers simple vibe and perfect presentation, though she was read for not serving any family resemblance. Pixie was read for her weak padding and make-up skills on her sister, despite slaying the performance and serving sisters. Danny meanwhile received universal praise from the colour and the looks to the resemblance, and hearing how Mystique felt all the love from Danny was just beautiful. Cheddar too was lavished in praise for everything she and Brie served, particularly for giving such rich, glam, artistic looks. Peppa was praised for the concept, though read for kind of stopping all the work at their waists before Dakota was praised for pushing her make-up to the next level, despite Michelle wanting her to give her even more.

Oh and then Michelle gave everyone in the Queen Team a RuPeter badge!

Backstage Jonbers didn’t immediately point out she was the only person in the room without a badge, instead Dakota toasted everyone on a job well done. Jonbers spoke about how confused she is about the critiques, not sure who will land in the bottom. Pixie pointed out that everyone else’s looks kind of spoke to who they are as drag queens, while Jonbers kinda didn’t tell them anything. While Cheddar tried to kindly explain her signature, Jonbers was having none of it while Pixie continued to just go in on her. Dakota opened up about how much fun she has been having, though was worried to potentially land in the bottom. Pixie meanwhile was ok with potentially landing in the bottom, while Peppa read her for filth – to us – for making Trixie look so damn fucking old. Before Danny toasted the Queen Team on giving them the best week of the competition.

Pixie was immediately put up for elimination before Danny was sent to safety with the highest of commendations, while Cheddar took out her third win of the season. Peppa joined them in safety before Jonbers narrowly joined them at the back of the stage, leaving Dakota to battle Pixie. And damn, did Dakota turn it OUT. As soon as Culture Club’s Miss Me Blind kicked off, she absolutely commanded the stage and hit every lyric and trill and ugh, I loved it. Pixie meanwhile gave camp drama however, and that appeared to be enough, as Dakota was tragically felled from the competition. As she and I sobbed, cursing Miselle for bungling her first chance in the main seat. 

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug, putting down her silly elimination as nothing more than a gaggy exit for gaggy exit’s sake. Because from the makeover to the lip sync, she well and truly nailed the assignment this week (and honestly, shouldn’t have even landed in the bottom two). That being said, going out as a robbed queen is always better than overstaying your welcome. And that little factoid, alongside a sweet Hazelnut Daconeta Schiffer were all it took to take away the bitterness of the elimination!


I don’t know if it is because I feel like it is healthier to eat piccolo cones, but these are essentially my new personality. Petite yet chunky, packed full of nuts and a sweet stuffed base – they are perfection.

Enjoy!


Hazelnut Daconeta Schiffer
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 cup shelled hazelnuts
600ml thickened cream
395g condensed milk
1 tbsp hazelnut liquor
1 tbsp vanilla extract
24 mini waffle cones, store bought because duh
200g milk chocolate
¼ cup roasted hazelnuts, finely chopped

Method
Start by blitzing the shelled hazelnuts in a high speed blender until a smooth paste is formed.

Combine the condensed milk, cream, liquor, vanilla and paste in a large bowl of a stand mixer and whip on medium speed until the-softer-end-of-firm peaks form. Transfer to a piping bag and pipe into the cones before transferring to the freezer to set for a couple of hours. If you don’t have something to sit the cones upright in, simply semi-freeze the ice cream first and then fill the cones when it is firm.

While the cones are setting, melt the chocolate in the microwave in 10-second bursts before folding in the roasted hazelnuts. Dip each ice cream in the chocolate and return to the freezer to set for half an hour.

Then, obviously, devour the entire batch.


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Patrick Boltontufo

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Alan and his crazy eyes were concerned about a potential power couple forming on the heroes tribe while Cole helped Joe find an idol over at the healers, likely spelling trouble for one of them in the future. Which one it is, is anyone’s guess. Meanwhile Simone and Patrick were on the outs at the hustlers, and despite Patrick’s questionable tribal council performance was saved, sending Simone out of the game.

The next day Ryan channelled Australian Survivor’s Luke and gave a fashion parade while wearing the clothes Simone left behind. With Ali and Lauren away from camp, Ryan and Patrick started to talk about who to target with the consensus being that Lauren is next. On the flipside, Lauren and Ali caught up in the ocean while Lauren tried to find a crack in the alliance. Devon then joined them and she turned the conversation to Patrick’s questionable statement at tribal council and floated the idea of getting rid of him. Despite Ali being aligned with Patrick, she was starting to get concerned that his mouth could be detrimental in the future leaving her confused about what to do if they head back to tribal.

Which they totally will, right?

Over at the heroes Ben and Chrissy were looking for options to snatch the majority, by way of deciding on their next potential target. While Alan and JP are totally ripped, they decided that Ashley’s work ethic is too much of an asset, so one of the boys is toast if necessary. We then watched Alan struggle with a coconut for a minute, while Ashley lusted over JP exited the ocean with something on the end of his spear. Which FYI, she described as a good size. For what it’s worth, Ashley is over Alan’s unpredictability and went to Ben to talk about who they should target. While she had valid points, her constantly going into bat for JP made Ben more nervous.

Meanwhile the healers were still loving life since they haven’t lost a challenge. Well, everyone but Joe that is, who was extremely concerned about Cole knowing about his idol. Speaking of Cole, his idol and 29 year old virgin Jessica were fishing and sunning them self while strategising and falling in love. I think, I was distracted by the adorable way Cole sat while giving confessionals and the glorious sight of his nips. I mean, you could eat dinner of dem nips.

He then told her about Joe finding the idol and I’m nervous that I’m about to lose my fantasy tableware. She then kissed him on the cheek and I now hate Jessica.

Back at the hustlers Patrick openly started looking for the idol while everyone sat by the fire, making everyone feel nervous and distrustful. He then filled us in about his moving company, which would explain that booty. Ali gave their alliance one last shot, pulling him aside and telling him to cut the searching and try and form actual bonds with their tribe mates.

There were issues over at the healers where Joe had taken to tossing food away when people didn’t cook it to his liking, rightfully pissing everyone off. As such, Cole and Jessica decided it would be a good idea to flush the idol and Joe, to knock him down a peg … and out of the game. Much to Jessica’s chagrin, he then told Roark – who we’re yet to really meet – and Desi about the idol, and blindsiding Joe if they lose immunity.

Like candyman that was the third mention of immunity so Jiffy Pop appeared for said immunity challenge – and reward for chickens for first, a dozen eggs for second – where the tribes were required to run through an obstacle course before knocking blocks off a ledge and then building said blocks into a tower. The heroes got out to an early lead, while the healers and hustlers were neck and neck. The healers took the lead after the second obstacle, followed closely by the heroes while Patrick refused to let any of the hustlers attempt throwing at the blocks. The healers thought they had the victory, though forgot one of their blocks giving the heroes enough time to snatch immunity and the chickens before Jessica was thrown up again to snag immunity and the eggs, sending the hustlers back to tribal council.

Lauren lay the blame squarely on Patrick’s shoulders – is that a thing, or has Jericho’s win rubbed off on me – and got to work turning anyone and everyone against him. Patrick however, was not concerned, feeling like he was more in with the tribe. Lauren then went for a walk while Ali, Devon and Ryan assured Patrick it was going to be her tonight. Wanting to make her last afternoon comfortable, Patrick then went to Lauren – who can’t stand him – on the beach to talk it out and see if she was ok. She then asked point blank, if he was targeting her tonight which he denied, though wouldn’t offer up a secondary target. Infuriated, Lauren approached Ali and Ryan to continue her campaign against Patrick. While she offended Ryan, he seemed onboard, taking the information back to Devon to try and figure out who they side with and form the majority – Patrick who choked at the last challenge or Lauren who is steady, though a liability.

At tribal Lauren was quick to lay the blame for their loss with Patrick and pointed out that they need to function as a team, then called him son, shut him up and won my heart forever. While Ali wanted to move forward, Lauren went back and threw out that Patrick has spent his first week hunting for an idol further proving he was playing alone. She then mentioned not trusting redheads, upsetting my fetish, though continued to school him and crack sassy jokes, so was able to win me back. Ryan was like a kid watching his parents fight, Devon was hoping the vote would fix their tribal chemistry and Patrick spoke about his ability to win people over, despite not being able to win over Lauren. Which Ali pointed out, putting the final nail in his coffin.

He however welcomed said criticisms and wanted to learn from them, though sadly they weren’t willing to give him that chance as he was sent to my loving, loving arms at loser lodge. I’ve known Pat and his bubble-butt for a couple of years after hiring his moving company to help me relocate my summer house. Given my thirst is real, I sat on the lawn and reenacted Samantha watching her neighbour have sex in the Sex and the City movie while he twerked – in my mind – and somehow, we became the best of friends. Though maybe it had something to do with the way I coated him face in sticky, sweet and salty cream … in the form of my Patrick Boltontufo.

 

 

The kick of coffee, mixed with the delicate choc-chip works perfectly with the salty caramel and earthy nuts to create the ultimate dessert. If only Cole was in loser lodge to use as a plate …

Enjoy!

 

 

Patrick Boltontufo
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
4 cups Cophie Clarke Ice Cream, softened
4 cups chocolate chip ice cream, softened
½ batch JL Salkeld Caramel
⅔ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Line an 8-hole Texan muffin pan with cling wrap – hopefully more neatly than I did – and scoop half a cup of one of the ice creams into the bottom of the pan and place in the freezer to chill for half an hour.

Combine the salted caramel and hazelnuts in a bowl, remove the muffin pan from the freezer and place a dollop of the hazelnut-caramel mixture in the middle. Top with the other flavour of ice cream, cover and return to the freezer for a couple of hours, or until set.

Once set, serve and devour.

 

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