Serirachacha Mayo

Condiment, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 5, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race Yvie Oddly bent, snapped and contorted her way to victory, this time without any butterflies being massacred at the finale. Oh and if we’re talking about UK, well the entire cast dominated and reinvigorated my little gay heart, delivering one of the greatest seasons of all time. While I sound like Kanye cutting off TayTay, The Vivienne, Baga and Divina all dominated and could have easily secured victory, despite the fact that I was thrilled that Viv took out the crown. Particularly over her nemesis, Cheryl Hole.

But enough is enough, let’s get on with this …

Kicking off season 12, we met Brita – not Filter – who is a loud, proud New Yorker with confidence to match her resume. Though she did say she goes from Maui to Moana, so I live. She was joined by Nicky Doll who is French, recently relocated to NYC and immediately my basement is flooded. Widow Von’du came in dressed like one of the crows from Moira Rose’s crow movie and told us to get rid of our gag reflexes. So I love her. Fourth in was Jackie Cox, Persian princess turn nerd turn me on. I mean, that confessional look has me moister than an oyster. And her nerdy jerks are cute. I live, I love – Jackie is life. Heidi N’ Closet did a whistle tone Xena entry and I love her. I mean, she looks like your grandfather’s third wife in drag and out could choke me in all the right ways. I mean, chickens do outnumber people in her hometown. Gigi Goode served Christopher Columbus chic and I live. Again, boy Gigi is also super hot or I am super horny. I don’t know. Crystal Methyd was next in serving Oz-It realness and I love her personality. I mean, accidentally spitting and laughing at your own jokes? We have so much in common.

Everyone was shocked by Ru arriving after only seven queens entered the competition before she explained that like season 6 before it, this season premiere would be split over two weeks and as such, only half would enter this week. And these seven would be kicking things off with a mini challenge where they would serve both a spring and fall runway look.

On the runway Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Raven and a faux Kimye – Mayhem and Kimora – to judge. While Brita looked beautiful, her reveal was nothing like Violet’s runway look. Nicky came out swinging, serving a beautiful flower look. Widow rocked some fluro neoprene, though in a good way. Which is a sentence I never thought I would say. Jackie served swinging 60s, Heidi wore a technicolour curtain before she ripped off her own wig on the way out the door. Gigi rocked pastel biker babe while Crystal looked like your cool aunt at her first same-sex wedding in Greece. For fall looks, Brita looked like an oil slick and well, wasn’t great. Nicky was chic in a tux, Widow gave a nude voluminous reveal, Jackie again looked like an extra on The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, Heidi was beige peacock stunning, Gigi Goode rocked Divina de Campo’s jockey look and Crystal was the love child of Freddy Kruger and a Lisa Rinna duster.

The queens went backstage to untuck where the queens were thrilled to see that Nicky is packing, Crystal and I have the same hair and more importantly, has a One Direction in Arabic. Oh and everyone has a boner for Jackie.

Before a winner was declared, Ru returned to announce that the mai challenge would require each queen to write a rap verse on the new single I’m That Bitch and perform it live on the mainstage. In front of my iconic friend, Nicki Minaj.

The queens split up to write their verses with Widow, Crystal and Brita at one table, and Jackie, Nicky, Heidi and Gigi on the other. While Jackie was shitting herself about writing a rap, Brita was confident thanks to her Broadway career. They alll joined together to discuss the choreography, with Heidi and Widow put in charge, filling the latter with terror as being in charge puts a target on your back. The girls visited the mainstage to work on the choreography, with Gigi terrified given she is a terrible dancer while Brita quickly grew tired of Widow’s one movement. Jackie joined the frey, driving Widow insane given they asked her to lead them. Everyone started to talk over each other, desperate to get their moment to shine and honestly, it became a mess. As it reached peak mess, Nicky requested that one person take charge and lead them, with Heidi offering to take control. Which made Widow furious.

Elimination Day rolled around and Heidi announced that last night she had an allergic reaction to something and spent the night in the ED, making her nervous since she is a dance queen, yet hasn’t had a chance to rehearse. Nicky and Jackie spoke about their backgrounds, with Jackie sharing that she doesn’t know any other queer people of Persian descent, though she hoped that giving visibility to it, may help others. Brita admitted to being stressed about the choreography the day before. She checked in with Widow to see if she was annoyed about it and while Widow was totally pissed, she shared that she does not care given she is going to slay.

On the mainstage Widow well and truly slayed her part, while Brita kinda missed her own lyrics. Crystal looked like a demented leopard in the best way possible, Gigi looked a mess, though her performance was amazing, Heidi slayed the dancing like the second coming of ChiChi DeVayne, Jackie went the comedy route to great success and Nicky was amazing, though maybe I’m in love? On the Sparkle Runway, Brita was frosted from tip to toe, Crystal served cartoon devil on the shoulder, Gigi was a shimmering Whacky Racer, Heidi was stunning as a 50s era diva, Jackie was I Dream of Jeannie in the boudoir, Nicky was stunning despite the feathers and Widow went sexy Star Trek chic.

Brita received universal praise for her looks, though her lyrics fell flat. Crystal too received universal praise for her looks and their comedic flair, her lyrics were great though her Michelle was worried she would be stuck being costumey. Gigi was called out for her passion for helmets, despite getting a lot of love for her looks. And Nicki loved her killer lyrics, so they were happy to look the other way. Heidi’s personality did all the talking, earning the judges hearts and made them ignore most of her errors. Namely, her hair and make-up on the mainstage. We also learnt that she is allergic to kale, which is what almost killed her. And I live. The judges loved everything that Jackie did and how open she is about herself, despite the fact her five o’clock shadow is super strong and may be her undoing. Nicky too received universal praise for the looks despite struggling on the mainstage. Though Nicki love her given she was her namesake. Oh and then the judges gushed over everything Widow did this week.

Ultimately Brita, Jackie, Crystal, Nicky and Heidi were sent to safety, leaving Gigi and Widow to think they were in the bottom two. But psyche, Ru informed them that they are actually the top two of this week’s challenge and as such, will be lip syncing for their legacy … as nobody will be going home because of the split premiere. Both queens gave it their all lip syncing to Starships but let’s be honest, this was always Widow’s lip sync to lose. While Gigi gave a surprisingly killer comedy performance, Widow slammed herself all over the stage and well and truly earnt her $5,000 tip. As I said to my frenemy Serena ChaCha, who I invited over to watch the premiere with me.

Mainly so I could reiterate how she should have been the first boot of season 5.

While that may have been true, Serena was pretty heartbroken that I straight up said it, assuming that I had invited her over to finally put an end to our feud. You see, we attended art school together – did you know she went to art school?! – until I was brutally expelled … after she ratted me out for stealing all of his pieces and submitting them as my own. While I was obviously in the wrong, I was furious and couldn’t believe that someone would have the gall to call me out for my shitty ways. And as such, I paid off the producers to give her as horrible an edit as possible.

Seeing her crying when I was so cruel after the episode however, made me feel this strange emotion. I think it is known as guilt? As such, I pulled her in for a hug, apologised for making her the villain in our shared story and then, even more out of character, vowed to make it right for her. My Serirachacha Mayo being the first peace offering in our journey to renewed friendship.

Like Serena, this little number is bold, loud and spices up even the most boring of moments. Oh my God, do I actually have a soft spot for her?

Enjoy!

Serirachacha Mayo
Makes: 1 cup.

Ingredients
1 garlic clove, finely grated
¾ cup Shayonnaise Swain
¼ cup Sriracha
1 lemon, zested and juiced
pinch of kosher salt

Method
Place everything in a bowl.

Stir.

Store. Or, you know, devour.

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Ginkx & Monsoonic

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, RuPaul's Drag Race 5, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race 14 queens entered the Werk Room, with Miss Vanjie leading the way out, backwards and into our hearts, and a place in pop-culture herstory. She was followed by Kalorie, Yuhua, Dusty Ray, Mayhem, Blair, Monique, The Vixen, Monét and Cracker, leaving us with a battle of the South and NYC for the crown. But that is next week. This week, it is time to re-une. I know that isn’t a word, can we encourage people to reune from now on? Thanks.

Anyway let’s kick the reunion off by congratulating the winner of the night, Yahua, who came dressed as Samara from the ring. Wait, scrap that – the winner is always Vanjie, who was treated to a minute montage of her viral exit before she admitted the fact she didn’t think she would be going home so just said the first thing that came into her head. She then shared that Vanjie is now a multipurpose word and all she cared about after leaving the show was making the most of her fifteen minutes and getting the bookings, and vanjie-ing her way into the zeitgeist was not something she could have ever expected.

Ru casually confirmed that Kameron, Eureka, Asia and Aquaria would be lip syncing for the crown before talking about some of the most iconic lip syncs of the season, congratulating Dusty and Monét on their Nicki Minaj number, and most importantly, Monét’s death drop fake-out. On the other end of the spectrum, Monique and The Vixen spoke about Monique’s Valentina-esque fail of not knowing the lip sync. Though none compared to the battle of the Fine’s between Kameron and Eureka – which infamously irritated Aquaria – and Kameron surviving four lip syncs, thus far.

Monique pulled popcorn out of her bag as they transitioned to discussing The Vixen’s fights throughout the season. The Vixen defended her telling Cracker about Aquaria and Monét’s Untucked discussion about Cracker and Aquaria’s rumoured twinning in NYC. We then transitioned to Eureka and The Vixen’s fight, with both of the queens downplaying their fight and trying to keep things calm. That lasted about ten seconds after Ru probed them about whether they stand by what they said, which The Vixen said she did while Eureka said she only did in the moment and felt bad now. She then denied baiting The Vixen, despite admitting to it on the show which pissed off The Vixen and lead to five other queens joining in to tell The Vixen not to react when baited, without acknowledging that baiting someone is more fucked up. Poor Asia tried to defend her, before The Vixen and Ru started to get more and more tense until The Vixen decided to leave the reunion.

Poor Asia went in to defend The Vixen and her choice to leave the reunion so as not to continue fighting. While Mayhem, Monique, Blair and Ru argued that she needs to pull her head in before poor Asia tried to remind everyone that she seems like she just wants to be acknowledged and heard. As she continued to talk about The Vixen with Ru, she completely broke down about how everyone had let The Vixen down, herself included, and wished that they could help her. Ru and Asia then argued back and forth, though ultimately felt like they cleared the air. Though that could probs be the wine talking.

From one trauma to another, we pivoted to Dusty’s homophobic family and how he was exorcised through a church for being gay. Yep, you read that correctly. It is fucking horrible and once again, I’m crying. Dusty then shared about how his family still don’t support him and see him as equal, despite apologising for the conversion therapy. He then shared his love for his chosen family, though was disappointed not to get support from those that are meant to love him most while strangers approach her on the street to talk about how proud they are of her. We then went back to Monique’s Untucked breakdown about fearing her mother’s reaction to seeing her on the show, with Monique focusing on wanting to inspire the little kids that feel they don’t have a place or are broken and like Vanjie, I’m fucking crying again.

Continuing the tears, we checked in on Blair and how finally admitting being sexually assaulted had improved her life and helped her deal with it. She spoke about drinking to dull the pain and that she has been completely sober since getting home, much to the delight of her fellow queens. Monét spoke about her own homophobic family in St Lucia and her fear that they may disown her, finally bringing some joy back by sharing that her mum has been checking in on how she is going on the show, despite not mentioning it by name. Yuhua spoke about drag making her feel free, though doesn’t talk about it with her parents which made me feel like it was going to get joyous and then I was kicked in the nuts.

Ru then tried to bring some actually levity to the proceedings with a game of Toot or Boot, with Kameron’s bird dress universally beloved, Cracker’s silverfosy loved by all by Eureka and Monét’s sponge dress hated by all but Mayhem. We then say a package of the judges with the takeaways being Monét thought Andrew Rannells was Jonathan Groff and Alex Trebek quoted Detox.

We circled back to the drama, focusing on Asia saying Miz Cracker wasn’t a star which lead to a sincere apology for Asia. While Cracker accepted the apology, she assured her that she wouldn’t the next time.

With that, Ru threw the floor open to the queens to ask questions to each other with Mayhem asking Aquaria and Asia why they were shady about her outfits in Untucked. Aquaria apologised and explained that she was just expecting more and wanted her to stand out, while Asia just told her she didn’t feel it was her place to read her outfits. Monique then asked Kameron why she has so much personality on social media though was silent and stand-offish on the show. Dusty joined in and said she is hurt by the fact she never gave her that personality, followed by Monét and Vanjie agreeing they never really got the chance to know her.

Ru challenged the queens to read each other one last time, with Vanjie slaying Kalorie, despite Kalorie being the one trying to read her. Eureka did the same thing during Mayhem’s turn before Monét finally landed a joke about Yuhua butchering the english language, Monique and Aquaria did a killer Wakanda joke and Dusty tried to tear everyone apart, from Kameron to Michelle Visage.

And just like that, the reunion reached its crescendo … though not before Mayhem, Dusty backed Aquaria for the win, Kalorie, Yuhua, Cracker and Vanjie professed their support for Eureka, and Monique, Blair, Monét are rooting for Asia.

Womp, womp for Kameron, I guess. Which season 5 victor and dear friend Jinkx Monsoon – who I was reuning with myself – felt horribly about. I first became friends with Jinkx Monsoon in a support group for those who have been personally victimised by Ro laska tox. Despite all being friends now, I will forever be grateful for their clique for uniting Jinkx and I in our pain. Our early catch-ups were marked by drinking and talking, so I obviously whipped out our old Ginkx & Monsoonic to accompany this date.

Tart and earthy, this is the perfect drink for those wanting to work through some pain, reconnect – or reune – with friends, or appear to be a classy drunk. No judgement.

Enjoy!

Ginkx & Monsoonic
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
1 lemon, cut into wedges
ice
2 shots gin
tonic water, to top

Method
Place a couple of lemon wedges in a glass with ice.

Top with gin and tonic water.

Down.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

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Serirachacha Mayo

Ginkx & Monsoonic