Lemon Juice

Paige Donarred Greens

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Stevie was grateful for Shiz saving him in the most chaotic tribal council of the season, while Jordie was left right out on the Villains. Though with Shiz secretly vowing to have his back. While Simon was Simon. Shonee meanwhile casually found herself a new piece of bling in the form of an idol, wisely keeping it a secret from even her closest of allies. At the immunity challenge George and Simon aired their dirty laundry to the Heroes before Shiz single handedly scored them immunity. Back at the Heroes, Gerry was fired up and ready to call them out for the way they handled sending him to the Villains, while Ben quickly realised it was him or Gerry going home. After finding the cookie non-idol, Ben used it as a clue to finding another idol on the Heroes beach, which he ultimately used to save himself, as he stitched up Sharni and swiftly got her booted from the game.

In no small part thanks to Paige’s lie that Sharni dropped the block, but whatevs, I’m not bitter.

Letting us know we’re in for a big episode, the tribes immediately joined with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle where they were delighted to discover an auction awaiting them. Psych, it wasn’t an auction though, as Jonathan unveiled the first covered item, new buffs, meaning they are finally switching! One by one they went up to select their new buffs with Nina going to the Villains, Ben sticking with the Heroes, Sam going to the Villains, Gerry sticking with the Heroes, alongside ally George before Liz found herself isolated on the Villains, as Shonee also landed on the Heroes. David added more beef to the Villains, alongside Shaun and Simon before Matt stuck with Heroes, Hayley went to Villains, Stevie went to Heroes and Jordie stuck with the Villains. Alongside his nemesis Simon and all his new alpha bros. While Flick and Paige were stuck on the Heroes tribe.

And while everyone laughed about the meat tray all landing together, George hilariously reminded them that meat heads normally suck at Survivor and as such, he isn’t concerned with the idiots. Basically.

But turns out, there was actually an auction too with each tribe getting $2500, with max bids set at $500. The catch being, the money would be shared amongst the tribe meaning some could win big and others end up with nothing. George quickly worked out that everyone then had $320 to spend, with Liz winning the first item, a cheeseburger and beer for $320. Ben jumped straight to $320 on a covered item which led Sam to jump to $360 for what he assumed was an advantage, but ultimately ended up being chocolate. Which honestly, I think makes more sense for him than a note. The next item was a scroll with Ben jumping straight up to $400 as Paige, shock horror, started to bitch to George about needing to vote Ben out ASAP. Oh and the scroll meant he scored an onion and while everyone laughed, Paige – again, shock – looked sour.

Paige then bid $400 on spag bol and red wine – I guess we can all go over $320 now – before Shaun bought it for $500. Flick then bought tacos and margs for $480 before Liz and Paige went into bat for Jordie and Matt bidding on a call from home, given they are both expecting children. While Jordie sweetly tried to step back and let Matt take the call for $200, Matt just as sweetly pointed out he is up to date with the scans and knows the baby is good and as such Jordie can have it to get his update as the two both burst into tears. As did I. While Paige told Matt he is such a good bloke. As Jordie spoke to Sam, he learnt they got the all clear from the doctors AND they found out they are having a boy and ugh, watching everyone cheer for him was so damn wholesome. As was him sobbing about how much he misses her. 

Matt tried to assure him he was crying happy tears for him which honestly broke me even more before George spent $320 on a covered item, which turned out to be a pass as the guest of Honour at a Survivor afternoon party with two of his friends. And while Ben tried to remind him it is a social game, he was loyal and stuck with Shiz as Paige, once again, looked saltier than the dead sea. While Jordie and Simon cautioned everyone that was a dangerous reward, particularly for someone like George.

The Spice Girls arrived at their epic reward, ready to devour everything in sight – including some leftover Sharlami Vinson, FYI – before George learnt he had just won $60,000 from Set for Life. They debated whether they should be checking for an advantage, with them agreeing to just wait until the end before Shonee straight up found an idol while smashing a party pie. Making it two in two episodes. Liz turned the talk to their new tribes, with George sharing that Flick told them Ben can’t be trusted while Liz was confident in all the strength she had on the new Villains, but knew that should they lose, she will be first on the chopping black. With Shonee assuring her that she will hand off the idol if she does lose an immunity. Since she should probs keep it as new Heroes is super weak comparatively and more likely to attend all the premerge tribal councils.

Back at the Heroes camp, Paige told Stevie that everyone helps out around at their camp before reiterating to Flick how much she wants to get rid of Ben ASAP. Given he allegedly twisted her words the previous night, which he didn’t. He told Flick that while she doesn’t trust George, she feels she could at least work with him for a couple of rounds, knowing they’ve split up the chance that he and Ben could potentially align. While Ben quietly worked nearby and oh god, I hope he heard. Also, as an aside, does it feel like a lot of the hate towards Ben comes from a place of casual homophobia? Because it is starting to feel like it. Though to be fair, I am super sensitive about that and may be finding reasons why my hero keeps getting called shady.

We checked in with the new Villains tribe where Hayley was thrilled by their surroundings, while Simon was more focused on how stacked their tribe is and thrilled to finally put an end to his losing streak. Knowing he no longer is the only person carrying the tribe through every challenge. Simon caught up with Shaun to fangirl over him, before Shaun admitted that he plans to use the Jeremy Collins meat shield strategy as Simon desperately tried to get pulled in. They returned to camp with Jordie overhearing him suck up and as such, he decided the only way to survive this mess is to blend in as best as possible, talking footy and copying Shauns’s fashion choices. And ugh, I love Jordie so much as this is hilarious, knowing he is quietly mocking them. Despite how well Simon was trying, the Heroes were still focused on sticking together with Shaun, Hayley, Nina and David locking in a plan to flush Simon’s idol ASAP and then pick off the original Villains. Because yeah, they can all see how desperately Simon was trying to win their love.

The new tribes reconnected for an epic immunity challenge where they would race to transport a tribe member locked in a cage through a tunnel, then a gate, up a huge ramp and then down into a pool before they unlocked said member and two people solved a puzzle. Because duh. Shonee and Hayley took their places in the cages, with the former loving the chance to have a little R&R during the challenge. Obviously the Villains got out to an early, massive lead, unlocking Hayley before the Heroes even made it to the ramp. Hayley and Nina got to work on the puzzle as Stevie cheered his tribe on before finally getting the chance to free Shonee and starting on the puzzle with George. A full circle moment, and I love it. While Hayley and Nina calmly worked through the colours, George started to bicker with Stevie about messing up his work. While Ben looked frustrated to be shut out of the puzzle before subbing out with George. That made the challenge exciting as the Heroes closed the gap as Hayley and Nina madly finished the puzzle and just snatched immunity for the Villains.

As the tribes hugged it out, David told Paige not to trust George whatever she does – like duh, is that really the most important message to share – which made her change her mind about targeting Ben as soon as she returned to camp. Well, after yelling at Stevie for trying to debrief too early and then yelling at everyone to get to work on fire and making some rice. Thankfully George is wise and instead got to work scrambling and locking in a plan of his own. Flick tried to lock him and Shonee in on a plan to get rid of Ben, floating that afterwards, they could align with Paige and Matt to run the tribe. Once Shonee and George were left alone, they laughed about how easy her plan would be to derail, given they are not going to just do what the OG Heroes want and instead will work with Gerry to get rid of one of the originals. And after finding God, they locked in Paige as their target given life is for living.

With that George and Shonee got to locking in a new majority, first pulling in Stevie to get rid of Paige and assured him that under no circumstances are they to tell Flick, Matt, Paige or Ben. George then floated the idea with Gerry, who was also very much on board given he wanted to mix things up. And admitted Paige can be hard work.

After locking in the 4-3-1 vote – given Ben’s is irrelevant at this point – and filling me with joy, Paige decided to ruin everything and pulled Flick and Matt aside to talk about getting rid of George instead, given the meat heads are too scared of him making the merge and told her to do it. Flick wisely cautioned them that they need to decide whether it is better to stay hero strong, or to get rid of Ben. Right on cue, Ben arrived who assured them all that the OG Heroes would be so proud of them if they managed to get rid of George. While Paige once again acted like Ben has given any reason not to trust him. He then pointed out that they need to try and woo Gerry to their side if they want it to work, with Ben offering to do it while Flick wisely suggested they should all try, given he hasn’t exactly felt the love from the original Heroes tribe. 

Up first, Ben pointed out that he and Gerry were both kind of on the bottom of the OG Heroes and as such, they need to make a decision that would save them in the long run. Gerry the icon told him he wasn’t willing to commit to anything yet, before all the Heroes obviously pulled him aside to take their shot. While Shonee quietly watched on as it all unfolded. Feeling confident, Paige went off to relax, while Shonee decided to act on the nervous energy; pulling George aside to warn him that something is afoot as the Heroes hung out, gleefully talking about taking out the King as Shonee assured us that while she doesn’t want to play the idol, if that is what it takes, she will.

At tribal council George and Shonee joked about being frequent flyers while Paige spoke about how it was too soon to deem any of the newbies heroic. Eyeroll. George spoke about this tribal council drawing a line in the sand and letting people know where they stand. Paige said that she doesn’t focus on goals when voting, given they all have the same – I mean, duh, but also WHAT? – while Flick spoke about how scary tribal council always is. Shonee brought some intelligent strategy to the table, telling JLP that if you have enough conversations, you can build trust and prove that you can add value to people’s games long term and meet those goals. Gerry meanwhile spoke about having loyalty to people, but he doesn’t know if he has it from others. And while trust takes forever to build, it can break just as quickly.

George felt like Gerry should be able to trust him and he hopes they are still friends, while Paige started whispering to Flick that she is sure they can get George out. Shonee meanwhile admitted she isn’t feeling as confident as George, while Matt spoke about being very nervous given the OG Heroes were whispering. Paige had a big shit eating grin talking about how confident she is that her conversations from the afternoon will hold firm. George meanwhile wanted tonight’s vote to bring a group of people together that will be able to run the game and make it to the end. Like a shared goal, even.

With that the tribe voted, Shonee wisely opted to play one of her idols on George as Paige looked ready to shit her pants, realising that her genius plan didn’t exactly account for an idol. As four votes piled up on George the cocky Heroes grew less and less confident as the rest came in on Paige, sending her out of the game in tears of rage. And ugh, it was GLORIOUS. As was Flick congratulating them as Shonee reminded her that the whispering tipped her off, given this is not her first rodeo.

Paige was still rather annoyed by the time she arrived at Loser Lodge and despite myself, I told her to hold her head high and be proud of the game she played. While her confidence and the paranoia of the game turned her quite bossy in the last few episodes, she started off strong, building a lot of trust with her allies and firmly placing her in the Heroes majority. Sadly though she was undone by two of the best at the game in George and Shonee, meaning she had to settle for some pre-merge comfort in the form of Paige Donarred Greens.

Given the off-screen drama that fueled Rogue to hate on Paige so much, it was kinda poetic that both of them ended up with vegetarian dishes. But when they taste as good and wholesome as this, it is hard to pass up. A little spicy with a hint of tang, this is the perfect side for a Sunday roast. Of ethically farmed meat, obvi.

Enjoy!

Paige Donarred Greens
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
6 cups collard greens (aka borekale), washed and dried, removed from the main stems and bruised
2 bay leaves
1L chicken stock
¼ cup lemon juice
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place the oil in a large pot over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about ten minutes or so, or until sweet and tender. Add the bay leaves and cook for another minute or so.

Slice the greens into 3cm thick ribbons and add to the pot along with the stock, juice, sugar and chilli. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently, for about  an hour or until the greens are gloriously soft and the liquid reduced. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper before devouring with your favourite roast. 

Or on its own, whatever.


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Blueberry Jam Hugh

Condiment, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little French Ball, serving hometowns and cliches before stomping the runway in a final look fit for the Cannes red carpet. Though made out of pool toys. While everyone kinda slayed the first two categories, it was Kam who rose above the pack and even shone in her designed look, serving glamour Nemo. At the other end of the pack, Briochée, Bertha and Soa kinda sucked. Ultimately though Bertha was given a reprieve, leaving Soa to solidify her place as the lip sync assassin of the season as she sent sweet Briochée home.

Backstage they were heartbroken to have lost Briochée while Soa made the dolls horny as she flashed her butt while cleaning the mirror message. Which was all we got for an aftermath meaning they either had nothing bad to say about Briochée, or we’re in for a big episode. The dolls Squid Game-d their way back into the Werk Room the next day with Soa disappointed to once again be in the bottom, though was proud to be deemed the lip sync assassin of the season. Everyone congratulated Kam on her win, while she was ready to finally intimidate the dolls as a winner.

Nicky interrupted the pleasantries to drop by and open the bibliotheque with the help of the zaddy Pit Crew for the première French reading challenge. First up was Big Bertha who absolutely eviscerated Paloma as looking like the critic from Ratatouille and Lolita as a pain. Kam meanwhile was a mess, Lolita was read while trying to read, Elips was surprisingly cutting and so damn good while La Grande Dame was amazing calling Lolita as an Oompa Loompa, which would hurt if it wasn’t so true. And then Nicky for not winning. Paloma then read Grande Dame for being a slut and Kam for being nipped and tucked before Soa charmed the hell out of me whether she was necessarily good or not. In any event, La Big Bertha took out victory.

But that was only the warm up, as has become habit, the dolls would need to back up their shade by participating in the ultimate Drag Race challenge – Snatch Game! As Nicky left the dolls split up to talk through their strategies with Grande Dame nervous about slaying the improvisation, while Soa was ready to be as wild as possible. Nicky returned to Kiki with the dolls with Paloma opening up that she will be playing Fanny Ardent or Roselyne Bachelot, which was Nicky’s choice for her. Kam meanwhile went with Mirielle Mathieu despite being cautioned she isn’t the funniest character while Lolita looked to be on a winner with Rossy de Palma. Elips would be playing Chantal Ladesou and despite being nervous, clearly has the voice locked down. Soa is going with the wild and underground Félindra, ready to return to the top. While Bertha was confident in her decision to play Jean-Pierre Coffe. Oh and Grande Dame is ready to slay as Alexandra Rosenfeld.

We quickly ventured to the Snatch Game set where Berengere Krief and Bilal Hassani joined the dolls with Soa immediately slaying, being stupid and fun. Grande Dame leant into all the beauty queen jokes, bouncing off Soa perfectly. Bertha meanwhile didn’t have the laughs translate over from the Werk Room. Lolita was charming, Kam looked perfect though quickly faded into the background. Paloma meanwhile was fun and breathy while Elips was hilarious despite me having no idea what was going on. While Soa, Grande Dame, Paloma and Elips went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, Bertha and Kam struggled more and more and well, it was hard to watch.

Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs, with Bertha and Lolita clearly petrified about landing in the bottom after struggling throughout Snatch Game. With Soa working overtime to try and give her a pep talk/reading her before Lolita opened up about feeling like she pushed all her sisters away and while it was hard to watch her breakdown, it was nice to see everyone rally around her to make sure she was okay. Proving emphatically that she isn’t isolated and truly is loved.

Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Bilal Hassani on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Lendemain de soirée runway where Elips was stunning with a disco ball lodged in her head. Bertha gave glamour in a black pantsuit with a train of trash bags,  Soa was sexy and street and ready to fight while Kam brought the bed back in a pink and red quilted gown. Grande Dame was stunning dressed as a used condom, complete with a cum wig like a damn icon. Paloma served tabloid princess, Lolita served balloon baby that got drunk at her kid’s party, complete with a drink in her wig.

Ultimately Elips was sent to safety before the judges praised Bertha for looking stunning on the runway, with her opening up she made the look last night as she felt her original one was too simple and she needed to prove herself after Snatch Game. Which the judges agreed just wasn’t fun. Soa was praised for everything she served this week, from the killer runway to her hilarious Snatch Game. Kam’s runway received universal praise for looking such a delight, while her Snatch Game was read for being such a bomb. Grande Dame received universal praise for being the sexiest condom of all time and for nailing Snatch Game AND having fun doing it. Paloma too received universal praise for all that she did, while Lolita was read for being lost in Snatch Game. Despite the judges loving her fun concept on the runway. Allowing her to open up to the judges and having them reiterate that she truly belongs.

The tops and bottoms joined Elips backstage where they all agreed Grand Dame would be taking out the win, though they weren’t sure who out of the bottoms would be lip syncing. Kam admitted she was disappointed she wasn’t funny, though this was the challenge she was most afraid of. As she broke down, she told them she was angry at herself for going from the top to the bottom. Bertha too was emotional, hating to have disappointed the judges but to also have to lip sync against one of her sisters.

Ultimately the dolls were right as Grande Dame took out her first win of the season while Soa and Paloma were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Lolita narrowly avoided the bottom as Bertha and Kam lip sync to a song that was banned in Australia which is a bit of a lol TBH. But either way, Bertha was doing the absolute most while Kam walked off stage for a baggy wig reveal. Though sadly, it wasn’t enough to save herself, as Bertha was saved and Kam joined the win to elim club, which is kinda iconic. As iconic as say, somebody not paying for the rights to the song for all regions.

As a heartbroken Kam ventured backstage, I quickly pulled her in and reminded her that not only is she a massive talent. The win-elim club seems like hella fun and if you can’t be a Porkchop girl, that is definitely the way to go. Plus, she will always be remembered for serving such a strong package in the ball and that is enough to be beloved. And to smash a vat of Blueberry Jam Hugh.

Like Kam, this little jam is a perfect little sweet number with a hidden layer of depth to it. In colour and juiciness from the blueberries. We’ve all fallen in love with raspberries and strawberries, though I implore you to give their blue sister a go. Because it is good.

Enjoy!

Blueberry Jam Hugh
Makes: 2 cups.

Ingredients
500g blueberries
2 cups raw caster sugar
6 tbsp fresh lemon juice

Method
Combine everything in a large saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and cook, simmering for half an hour, stirring frequently. When the jam is starting to jell, you know it is done, otherwise keep on truckin’ for another 5-10 minutes.

Spoon the hot jam into sterilised jars and sealing, inverting for a couple of minutes before turning the right side up and leaving aside to cool completely.


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Jorgeousoufflé

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls were put through their paces putting on a little roast of the hilarious Ross Matthews – Ru’s weekly intro-roast of the rotating judge. While Bosco slayed, Willow and Camden were hilarious and Angeria was charming as hell, the other three bombed and ended up in the bottom with not one but two queens told to sashay away. While DeJa was far and away the weakest in the lip sync, I gay gasped to discover that Daya Betty was deemed safe as the pocket-rocket lip sync assassin of the season was finally felled.

Yes, Ru’s favourite. The born-to-do-drag person of the season (usually a signifier of an upcoming winner). A queen Ru would literally give her left lung to keep alive. Jorgeous. Jorgeous was sent home.

While I agree that Daya’s performance made the most sense for the song – which is something I admitted to Jorgie – I was shocked that Jorgeous did slide through on charm. Because as villainous as Daya as been – which I live for – Jorgeous has been equal amounts charming and I thought she was going all the way to the finals.

Backstage I pulled her in for a hug, thrilled to finally be in the presence of someone shorter than me, and congratulated her on a race well run. And reminded her she has all the right chops to make it far on All Stars. With that, we did the requisite laugh, cry and chat before toasting her status as Ru’s favourite with a Jorgeousoufflé.

I honestly don’t think there has ever been a better connection between a recipe and their namesake. Sweet, fluffy and always ready to stop the show, souffle is a light, delicious delight that always impresses.

Enjoy!

Jorgeousoufflé
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
unsalted butter, for smearing
1 cup raw caster sugar, plus extra for dusting
6 eggs, separated
1 tbsp lemon zest
¼ cup lemon juice
pinch of salt

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and butter 6 ramekins. Sprinkle with some sugar and spin around to coat the edges. Remove the excess.

Whisk the yolks with ¾ cup of the sugar until light and think, almost looking like soft butter, until it forms a ribbon. Beat in the lemon zest and juice until it comes back together and set aside.

In a clean, dry bowl, beat the whites until they hold soft peaks. Add the remaining sugar and continue to beat until they form stiff, glossy peaks. Add a spoonful of the whites to the lemony yolks to loosen them, before folding through all the whites until just combined.

Divide the mixture between the ramekins, pop on a baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for 15-25 minutes, or until puffed and golden. Remove from the oven and serve immediately, devouring with a sprinkle of icing sugar.


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Markscapone Wales

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Cheese, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor 22 people were forced to trek their way into the Australian bush with a loved one, ready to battle in the adventure of a lifetime. Upon meeting Jonathan by a watering hole, a chopper emerged and deposited the undisputed queen of Survivor, Sandra Diaz-Twine and her daughter to join the frey. One by one, they were voted out starting with Andy, Brianna and Kate. The tribes then swapped to stop the decimation of Queenslanders, before Alex and his sister’s now-ex Jay followed back-to-back.

There was then a genuine swap which tragically culminated in my least-favourite Survivor curse having its three-peat, as Sandra was voted out on Day 16. She was then followed out the door by Sophie and Amy, before tragedy struck as Princess Nina injured her leg in a challenge and was pulled from the game. After another cheeky swap, Croc and Ben were then felled before the tribes were no more and the Lava tribe – vom – was formed.

Tragically the merge cost us Khanh, though he then became the King of the Jury, which is super important, if you ask me. He was followed by Mel, Jesse – after Sam stole his idol – Michelle and Jordan before Sam, again tragically, was blindsided from the game. With that, Dave was felled, followed by Jordie, KJ and Josh, leaving Shay, Chrissy and Mark to battle it out at tribal council.

While I wish the jury were more receptive of the game the girls played, there is no denying that Mark and Sam dominated the season from start to finish. More importantly, they came into it with a very clear plan on how to play as a duo. While I would have found Sam to be a far more exciting winner, it was clear she would have had a harder time making it to the end and winning over the male-dominated jury. As such, they cut her at the right time, reducing Mark’s threat level at a key moment to help propel him into the end game.

By the time it came to perfectly articulating his game and winning over the jury with the right mix of praise, self-awareness and confidence, there was no denying he was more than worthy of the title of Sole Survivor. And the freshly made Markscapone Wales that goes along with it.

There is nothing better than cheese. I mean, I am fairly certain I am lactose intolerant, but I will live my life in gastrointestinal distress for any and all cheese. And given how easy and tasty fresh mascarpone is, that distress will likely become my standard state. Smooth and creamy, it is, like Mark, an absolute winner.

Enjoy!

Markscapone Wales
Makes: 1.

Ingredients
450ml cream
2 tsp lemon juice

Method
Stir the cream in a large-ish saucepan over medium heat with a wooden spoon until it reaches 85C on a candy thermometer. Remove from the heat and continue stirring until it drops to 60C. Return to the heat and bring it back up to 85C before stirring through the lemon juice, maintaining the temp for a few minutes. Continuing to stir, remove from the heat and bring the temperature down to 60C.

Pour the mixture into a glass bowl, cover with cling or a tightly fitted lid and insulate with a tea towel. Sit at room temp for a few hours.

Once chill, pop a sieve over a clean bowl and line with 4 layers of cheesecloth. Pour the cooled cream through the cloth and cover with plastic and a clean tea towel. Transfer to the fridge to set for at least 24 hours. Before devouring, victoriously!


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Jasmine Kennedie

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls went back to the ‘60s in honour of the iconic girl groups of the era. As she could not sing any damn notes, at all, Jasmine was focused on remembering the choreography while the iconic Kerri was read for only serving looks. And for being too damn churchy. Despite Bosco and Willow slaying the game, Daya took out the win – after straight up refusing to do any other song. While the rest of the queens were shocked DeJa was in the top, rather than the bottom it was Jasmine and Kerri that landed in the bottom. And despite turning a show, Jasmine won the lip sync and sweet, iconic Kerri went home.

Backstage Jasmine was relieved to still be in the competition though was heartbroken it came at the cost of Kerri, who inspired her to finally live her truth. She opened up to her sisters about how much of a fan she was of Kerri prior to the show, with Bosco trying to remind her it is a competition and sending people home is something they have to do to move on. The dolls sat down and congratulated Daya on her victory with Angeria trying to downplay her bitchiness, while Daya reiterated she is competitive but is sorry she has come down as pretty awful. While Willow admitted she was just glad nobody realised how competitive she is too. Bosco admitted that the safe girls through DeJa was going to be in the bottom, leading to DeJa desperate to finally get a win and to prove herself.

The next day Ru dropped by almost immediately to put the girls through their paces photobombing some famous menzeses. Daya was up first trying to fist Lil Nas X, Angeria was hilarious as she tried to get Becks, Camden spanked Borat, Willow was a demented Marie Lou Redden on Jack Gyllenhaal’s dog. Bosco, Gorgeous and Jasmine were all good in their pics while DeJa was unhinged trying to finger bang Shawn Mendes. But obviously none of it mattered as Willow was head-stand and shoulders above the rest.

Ru then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be split into two groups to discuss men on duelling Drag Con Panels. And as the winner of the Mini Challenge, Willow was able to select her group, immediately picking DeJa, Angeria and Camden. Leaving Bosco to be stuck with Jasmine, Jorgeous and Daya. The latter of whom was enraged, yet again, to be stuck with her team.

The groups split up to get to work with Willow suggesting DeJa should be the A-Team’s moderator, before Angeria asked whether the panel was meant to be in character or if they should show themselves, with Willow encouraging her to think of it as chatting with her friends. Team Leftovers started by teaching Jorgeous what the word moderator meant before Jasmine requested to be the moderator, which annoyed the hell out of Daya. Obviously. She tried to dance around the fact she thought it was a bad idea, instead asking if Bosco thinks she, Bosco, would be better. Essentially jumping on her with Jorgeous as soon as Bosco said she’d be interested in doing it, with Jasmine admitting its probs for the best. Bless.

Ru dropped by to chat with the dolls, with Team Willow opening up about talking about their fathers as it is a universal topic for them. DeJa opened up early, talking about not being in touch with her father. Angeria admitted she had done a panel before in a pageant and while she lost, it taught her to not waste time and to get to the point. Ru encouraged them to think it is like kiki-ing with your friends – good job Willow! – though was worried that Camden wasn’t believing in herself. Team Bosco mainly focused on the tensions between Daya and Jasmine, with Ru asking Jasmine how she intends to make sure everyone gets a turn in the spotlight. While Ru encouraged them to really open up with each other and find the stories that pack the most punch, Bosco was reminded they need to keep it funny.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting ready for their panels with Team Bosco feeling more confident in their plan thanks to their rehearsal. Camden meanwhile was thinking she would look just like her mother on the panel, while DeJa was happy that Willow chose her in the team because she had been wanting to get a chance to work with her. While Camden was narrating her own nature doco, Willow let rip an epic burp and freed Angeria of Camden’s watchful eye.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on their panel by Nicole Byer for the Dragcon Panels with DeJa opening the show looking like a dream and super confident. All in all the group were fun, bouncing off each other well and being oh so charming. Willow was hilarious, Angeria was cute and fun while poor Camden worried about her performance, though honestly, confusing Blake Shelton for Blake Lively was comedic gold. When they turned to talking about their fathers, all the dolls gave a lot of heart and honestly, it was really great to see. 

When it came to the other team, Bosco was far and away the star of the show, hilarious from start to finish giving one liner after one liner and ugh, it was fun. Jasmine tried her best to avoid going off on tangents, Jorgeous was cute and fun – though clearly nervous – while Daya lit up when it came to talk about the men of WWE though beyond that, she was just there, while Bosco slayed.

On the Shoulder Pad runway DeJa looked perfect as a footballer in Chanel, Camden was adorable as a sexy nutcracker, Willow was a punky CEO from the future, Angeria was a perfect houndstooth harlequin. Bosco was stunning in a sexy raincoat over a metalic stripper outfit, while Jorgeous was shimmering in blue though not really giving shoulder pads, moreso puffs while Jasmine was sexy in a lime neon jumpsuit. And Daya looked like an extra from Mad Mex, the Mad Max dinner theatre that serves solely Mexican food.

After Angeria and Camden were sent to safety, DeJa received universal praise for being a warm and effective host, though Michelle wanted her to be a little looser. Oh and she looked a million bucks on the runway. Willow was read for not giving enough shoulder pad on the runway though they lived for everything she did on the panel. Michelle read Bosco’s look for being a little basic, though everyone lived for how she slayed the game on the panel. Jorgeous was read for being more puff than pads (told ya) and for being in her head on the panel. Jasmine received universal praise for her look, though was read for blending into the crowd in the panel despite looking like magician Nancy Reagan, the throat GOAT. And then Daya was praised for being there.

Backstage Angeria and Camden quickly speculated who they felt would be in the top and bottom, with Angeria immediately locking in the correct placements and speculating DeJa may finally take out a win after her strong week. Though they lived for how wise Willow was and generally feeling like Bosco was just an absolute star. While kiki-ing about the fact it was now at the point of nitpicking, the tops and bottoms joined them with Jasmine quickly admitting she is in the bottom though was ready to just prep for the lip sync.

Poor Jorgeous started to break down about being in the bottom too, wanting to prove she could apply what the judges have been trying to tell her. As the girls rallied around her, they reminded her the judges just want the best for her. Oh and then Daya admitted that she gets why she was in the bottom because the rest were all strong. After Willow opened up about her father’s death, Angeria’s parents popped up on screen and well, they were absolutely adorable as was Angeria’s reaction and how happy her sisters looked for her. Angeria congratulated Bosco and DeJa for being such stars as the moderators, with Jorgeous grateful Bosco forced her to open up on the mainstage. While Jasmine was just glad the team talked her out of being their moderator. Nicole joined them for a chat and ugh, it was super cute and honestly, is Nicole the greatest person to grace the planet?

The dolls returned to the mainstage where Bosco took out another very well deserved victory while Willow and DeJa were sent to safety, with Daya narrowly avoiding the lip sync leaving the assassins to face off to Something’s Gotta Hold on Me by Etta James. And well, they sure did put on a show! Kicking and flipping around the stage, they were fun and fierce and well it was the best. They bounced off each other and worked together to charm the judges before Jasmine straight up did the splits every four counts and well, it was perfect. Earning them a very well deserved double shantay.

Backstage Jasmine and Jorgeous were feeling their oats, thrilled to have turned a show for the queens and still be stuck at the top eight. Which obviously annoyed the embodiment of saltiness, Daya. Which Jasmine admitted only made her feel better, given she is looking forward to lip syncing against anyone and sending them home. After the dolls praised Bosco for her win, DeJa opened up about how frustrating it has been to be so close to so many wins but admitted she is still proud of Bosco. While Bosco worried that they’ve done so well, that it is hard to meet Ru’s growing expectations.

The next day Ru arrived and cut off Jasmine mid-stream to task the dolls with a little mini challenge where they pulled together a cute little outfit made out of bubble wrap. Jorgeous was a sexy, skanky mess, Camden looked like drunk lady at the end of the races, Angeria gave full glamour – of course – Willow was a sexy pool noodle, Daya Betty scared me, DeJa was an 80s delight, Bosco was a red hot dominatrix rocker and Jasmine was a demented delight. While Angeria was full glamour, it was Bosco that took out victory before Ru gagged the queens with the news that they would finally be playing the snatch game.

Everyone was a mix of excited and terrified as they quickly split up to prep their characters with Camden playing William Shakespeare, Willow locked in Drew Barrymore and Bosco would be Gooping it up as Gwyneth Paltrow. Ru dropped by to kiki with the queens with Jorgeous doing Ilana Glazer as Ilana in Broad City. Despite Ru trying to push her into Aubrey Plaza. Daya locked in Ru’s sweetheart Ozzy Osbourne, though admitted she is very nervous despite the fact she can hide behind Ozzy’s stumbling, rambling demeanour. Angeria is doing the icon herself, Tammie Brown and damn she was excited to walk the children in nature. Jasmine is playing devil incarnate Betsy DeVos, DeJa is going with Lil Jon, while Camden was going to mock herself as William Shakespeare. Though will make it Joanna Lumley.

The queens joined Ru for Snatch Game, with contestants Dove Cameron and the iconic Raven. Camden started strong, Jasmine was boring despite trying hard, Angeria was hilarious, Jorgeous was just bad bad bad – but so cute. While Willow’s Drew accent was on point, but just struggled while DeJa was demented from the start. Bosco’s Gwyneth was so stoned she had no energy while Daya sadly started strong. Then it all turned to shit as only DeJa continued to get consistent laughs, along with Raven and Dove while the rest just fell flat, flatter and flattest. While Raven looked ready to jump up and slap them all.

Though at least they could tell they were bombing and becoming DeJa’s extras, which helps?

Elimination Day arrived with DeJa thrilled to know she clearly is going to win, given everyone else sucked. Jorgeous meanwhile was prepared to lip sync again, while Bosco agreed that she felt she bombed. Daya asked Jorgeous who she thought she’d be lip syncing against, with her thinking it would either be Willow or Jasmine. Willow and Angeria meanwhile were trying to process the collective of bombs, while the former tried to focus on her runway which she is her favourite given she will be celebrating mushrooms, thanks to her passion for fungus.

Dove Cameron joined Ru, Michelle and Carson on the judges panel as the queens tried for rudemption on the Holy Couture runway. DeJa was a mess, serving Joan (Jett) of Arc which made the look a little better. Jasmine was stunning serving Gemini realness with a reveal, Angeria was a Southern Belle at church, Willow was dementedly stunning as a bleeding fungus, Daya was a mess as Cruella de Vil does Madonna does Lady Gaga. in a wedding gown, literally falling to her knees on the runway. Though unlike Camden, accidentally. Jorgeous was a stunning green Pope complete with a blunt, Camden was a jumble of the Spice Girls while Bosco was the sluttiest nun in the best way possible. 

Michelle interrupted proceedings to reiterate how great the dolls have been this season, though was super confused about what happened on Snatch Game. DeJa meanwhile was praised for being the only funny person on the panel and for looking a million bucks. Jasmine was praised for the choice of Betsy DeVos, though read for not bringing anything funny despite looking stunning on the runway. Angeria recieved universal praise for the runway though was read for making an entertaining queen one note, despite having fun. Willow was praised for giving Drew, though read for being absolutely boring. Obviously they lived for the runway though. Daya was read for doing everything people would expect, while the judges loved Jorgeous’ runway though hated her bland Snatch Game. Camden’s runway was read for being basic and off theme, while her Snatch Game performance was there and that is about it. Bosco’s runway meanwhile was beloved, though they felt she got in her own way as Gwyneth.

Backstage DeJa was obviously thrilled to be edging closer and closer to a win, unless of course, Ru and Michelle opt to go without a winner for the second time after UK. While her sisters were disappointed in themselves, they were proud of her performance and for her finally taking out victory. Camden joked about more than two people lip syncing, with Willow telling her to shut up before she jinxed them all. Everyone channelled Michelle and tried to figure out what exactly went wrong with the challenge, while Jasmine flitted around in the background to get out of her outfit and prep for the lip sync.

As Jorgeous opened up about being completely exhausted, her family popped up on screen to give her a pep talk and ugh, I love them all. Particularly her smoking hot grandma! With that, she immediately started to break down, sobbing over how much she misses them while her sisters rallied around her and reminded her that she needs to love herself. While Bosco just desperately wanted to get Jorgeous’ brother’s number. Angeria tried to distract everyone and ask if they had fun and while a few of them did, Angeria admitted that while she had fun she normally doesn’t and as such, she should stop enjoying herself if she wants to make it to the end. Willow then realised that she jinxed them, given she predicted there would be a challenge everyone bombs back in the Daytona Wind.

Dove Cameron dropped by to see how the dolls were feeling, with Jasmine ready to show her how great she is at lip syncing. Before Dove encouraged everyone to embrace delusion like Jasmine, given she lives for ignoring reality herself.

Obviously DeJa took out victory before Ru gagged the rest of the dolls with the fact that they’re all in the bottom and as such, would be facing off in a lip-sync lalaparuza smackdown for survival. Backstage things were tense for everyone not called DeJa, with Bosco ashamed of them all while Jasmine was confused, and on brand, Daya was enraged and ready to take it out on Jasmine. Daya felt her performance was safe and as such, was annoyed that she has to lip sync against them when they’ve been consistently mediocre the last few weeks. Ignoring the fact that she was eliminated in week two and brought back through no merit process at all. Thankfully Jasmine did not care, given she knows she can turn a show and ugh, I need her to send Daya home.

The next day the dolls quickly split up to get in their best lip syncing attire, while DeJa was living her best life beating her mug and getting glammed up for her time in the audience. Camden meanwhile was heeding the warning from Ru, and ready to turn it out while Angeria and Willow discussed their strategy with Angeria assuring us that she will be doing the park and bark, which is as iconic as it sounds. Daya meanwhile was stirring the pot, telling Bosco that she knew she was angry about the bottom seven too however Bosco shut it down and assured her she was disappointed in herself and that’s it. But trust and believe, she will turn out a show.

While Willow worried that Bosco was too nervous to do herself justice, Daya just shared she doesn’t want to do anything against Jorgeous and Jasmine because she can not do what they do. DeJa meanwhile was living it up speculating about the structure of the battle, making her sisters more and more annoyed/nervous. Jasmine asked Daya why she says ‘no offence’ before being a bitch, with Daya admitting she is just opening up about her fears or stresses. While Jasmine questioned whether maybe she just does it so she doesn’t have to listen to other people’s opinions. Oh and Camden was a mixture of excitement and terrified, while Jorgeous was ready to dominate anyone and everyone.

It was just family on the judges panel as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross lined up to witness the lip sync lalaparuza smackdown. After learning the rules, DeJa was sent backstage to chill out and watch the show unfold. The Pit Crew was wheeled out to pick a ball, coming up with Jasmine Kennedie who was then given the opportunity to select her opponent, hilariously going with Daya. Which in turn meant Daya was given the power to select the song, going with Respect by Aretha Franklin. While it pains me to admit it, Daya did a very good job. Both lip syncing AND standing in front of Jasmine at every opportunity so the judges couldn’t see her. Which proved a winning strategy as she was sent to join DeJa backstage while Jasmine was left to fight another round.

Willow was next to have her ball drawn, who in turn chose to face off against Bosco as she hoped she would pick a song she’d like to do, rather than wanting to eliminate her. Bosco then selected for them to lip sync to Never Too Much by Luther Vandros. Just as Willow wanted, and well, clever girl! Willow focused on the emotion of the song, while Bosco served 100% sex and while both of them slayed the game, Willow’s strategy proved a winning one as she took out victory. Given the last three would be lip syncing against each other no matter what, the Pit Crew pulled a ball to decide who would select the song with Jorgeous, obviously, selecting Radio by Beyonce. And then demolishing Camden and Angeria, saving herself and sending the duo through to round two.

Lady Camden was the first ball out of the cage for the second round, settling on Bosco who in turn chose for them to lip sync to Don’t Let Go by En Vogue as Bosco was hoping to avoid any possible stuntery from Camden. Sadly for her, Camden can still turn a show without stunts and as such, took out victory and sent Bosco through to the final round. Angeria and Jasmine then took the stage to battle to the remaining song, Love Don’t Cost A Thing by J-Lo and well, it was a SHOW. Jasmine was doing her usual fierce schtick, while Angeria was living her best life and pulled all the focus and as such, took out victory.

Bosco joined Jasmine on stage for the final lip sync of the evening where Ru gooped them with the news they’d be facing off to my dear Diana Ross’ Swept Away for survival. And damn, did the dolls fight! Despite of – or because of – it being their third lip sync of the evening, both of the dolls had an epic fire within themselves as the served camp and emotion and while Jasmine slayed THAT too, Bosco rightly took out victory and saved herself while the iconic Miss Kennedie, Alyssa Edwards Jr was finally felled.

Backstage Jasmine was disappointed to have been eliminated, sure, but was also proud of her growth throughout the season. And for showing how talented she is. And for coming into the woman she has always been. Aka Jasmine had an epic journey this season and while Daya wasn’t feeling her, I lived for how entertaining and goofy she was and as such, toasted her inevitable All Stars crown with a delicious Jasmine Kennedie!

A little bitter – just to remind her of Daya – spicy and sweet, this take on a Jasmine Cocktail (yes, I struggled to shoe-horn a name) is the perfect way to kick off your evening.

Enjoy!

Jasmine Kennedie
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
3 tbsp gin
1 tbsp select aperitivo
1 ½ tsp triple sec
2 tbsp lemon juice
a dash of sugar syrup
twist of lemon, to serve

Method
Half fill an old-fashioned glass with ice before adding the gin, aperitivo, triple sec, lemon juice and syrup.

Stir, add a twist of lemon and down. Then repeat as required/appropriate.


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Jaypricot Bruno Jam

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Condiment, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Sophie made waves after joining the Water tribe – geddit? I’m here all week – spitting fire about Sam to her husband. At the reward challenge, she doubled down on her rage where she beat up Sam in scenes reminiscent of the ‘stop stop, he’s already dead’ moment in The Simpsons. Nina once again beat up Sandra to win the reward for the Water tribe, which was a cheese player that they had to enjoy at the Blood tribe. In front of the losers. This gave Sophie the opportunity to rage at her former allies and then Sam, for allegedly turning everyone against her. The next day Ben won immunity for the Blood Tribe all by his lonesome sending Water back to tribal council. While Sophie was the obvious target, her sister KJ hatched a plan to blindside Khanh instead while he was distracted. Turns out there was a bigger blindside on the cards however as Alex quit the game due to his injured back.

The next day the Blood tribe were lazing about in the water as Jesse joked about how he isn’t sunburnt but instead was just feeling super rosy. We then got a supercut of Jesse living his best life around camp and absolutely delighting his tribe and ugh, Jesse is my king. Despite also being young enough to be my child in an early-teenage pregnancy situation. I’m not good with maths, but I’m guessing I would have had to have been a father at 12. So unlikely, but possible. In theory.

But I’ve digressed.

We checked in with the Water tribe where Mark was regaling KJ with tales of life in the army or overthinking things at tribal council? I honestly got confused by the trajectory of their conversation. Sophie reminded us that against all odds she is still in the game and is still glad to be reunited with her sister. While Alex quit the game and ruined their plans at the last tribal council, Sophie realised that as Khanh is still one of the biggest threats it may actually be better to team up with him than vote him out. Sadly for her, he had no interest and immediately reported back to Josh and Jordie that Sophie came to him to announce his idol was going to be flushed and he would be voted out immediately after her, should he not join forces with her.

Oh and she reiterated doesn’t want to ruin KJ’s position in the game, despite her chaos.

Over at the Blood tribe, a lizard was wandering around camp and creeping out Sandra before talk turned to what they thought happened at the last tribal council. With everyone hoping Sophie was sent packing for good this time. Sandra regaled us with tales of her previous experiences in the game, talking about how much harder the conditions are in the Australian outback. She also reminded us that the only times she has been voted out have been on Day 16 and as such, the closer it gets to that day the more stressed she becomes.

But using that logic, should she make it to Day 17, she is either winning. Or at the very least, being booted on Day 39. So yay!

Sandra caught up with Sam, Amy and Michelle by the well, talking about who they should vote out one of the boys with Sandra trying to push to get rid of Dave given he wrote her name down before. Sadly for her though, nobody was interested in that. Plus, it was actually Sam who voted for her. Back at camp, Sandra asked Dave why they were enemies before joking about the curse that forces people that write her name down to lose the game and as such, he should regret his previous choices.

Which actually means Sam should regret it. And won’t win. 

Being close with Dave, Amy didn’t want to lose a potential ally and as such, pulled him aside to warn him and float the idea of getting rid of Sandra instead. As they joined up with Jay in the water, Sandra, Sam and Michelle watched on from the hammock and quickly identified the trio as the current biggest threat and suggested they vote them out back-to-back-to-back. Knowing they need numbers to execute that plan, Sandra and Michelle caught up with the alpha males to float the idea of splitting up said power trio and while Croc knew it was a good idea, he also wasn’t confident enough in his position to trust it. We then heard more about Croc, learning he applied to Survivor to get back his sense of purpose after retiring from the NRL and finally secure an individual win, rather than one as part of a team.

Speaking of teams, the tribes caught up with Jonathan for the reward challenge where water filled Blood in on the circumstances surrounding Alex’s exit. As for the challenge, they would work in trios to run down a ramp and into the water to wrestle for a football with the one to get it back up their ramp scoring a point for their tribe. For a club sandwich, which is fitting given our speedo kings of yore. In the first round, Mark, Josh and Jordie faced off against Croc, Jesse and Ben, the two latter looking glorious in their speedos as per usual. The entire round was chaos as everyone wrestled and tossed their ball with Chrissy screaming at Jordie to just get up the ramp and wait, which ended up securing their win.

Round two was Nina, Chrissy and Sophie against Amy, Michelle and Sandra with Nina continuing her winning streak against her mum, scoring the second point for Water despite Amy nearly breaking away with the ball. Jordan, David and Jay were up next against Mark, Khanh and Josh with Jordan and his speedo once again starring as he tackled anyone and everything, allowing Dave to score a point for Blood. Croc, Jesse and Jordan were up next, facing off against Mark, Jordie and Josh and once again my speedo kings were absolutely ferocious, however sadly, they couldn’t land their ball and instead Water took out yet another victory.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to discover they had each won a club sandwich, rather than having to split one which is what I assumed was the situation for some reason. Everyone quickly grabbed their snacks and juice while Khanh gave them the foodie description of their sangas. We then got a supercut of everyone near orgasming as they feasted on their sandwiches, with Mark thrilled to finally have time to pause and think through what is next for the tribe. While he still thinks getting rid of Khanh is critical, Sophie’s volatility is more concerning for him and as such he felt she needed to go first. He then flipped a table to check if there was an idol clue under it, sadly not in homage to Teresa Giudice.

Meanwhile over at the Blood tribe, they were talking shit about the sandwiches to try and make themselves feel better about their loss. Jordan tried to remind them not to stress and instead focus on winning immunity. Not wanting to wait however, Sandra, Michelle and Sam ventured back to the hammock and continued with their plans to get rid of Dave. While Amy, Dave and Jay went hunting for idols. Right in front of the tribe. Spooked, Sandra got up and joined the hunt with Amy, Michelle and Sam spotting a red pole near a tree at the same time. Yet somehow, Amy managed to spot the idol and knock it off without anyone seeing her. Begging the question, how? Like, HOW?

The tribes joined up with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to swim out to a cliff, climb up a net, release a ball and then race it back to the start to shoot into a basket with the first team to five winning immunity. Jordie got Water out to the earliest of leads, however Michelle managed to close the gap as she scored the basket quickly at the other end. Add in Ben speeding through the water, he managed to catch up with Josh. While Water continued to have more time shooting their baskets, Blood always managed to close the gap until Khanh tired in the water and allowed Sam to overtake him while Khanh struggled more and more in the water. Sadly, Sandra struggled with the basket allowing KJ to take back the lead for the tribe once Khanh delivered the ball. While Croc started to close the gap again on his swim, he struggled on the netting allowing Shay to extend Water’s lead as Mark joined Croc in the water. Mark then whipped through the course, before  Nina scored the final point and secured immunity for Water.

The medics were then called in to check on Croc as Chrissy went into mummy mode, coaching him through his breathing and making sure he was ok. The NRL great then spoke about how he didn’t want to let his team down with everyone assuring him, they love him and he should be proud of his performance. Because that challenge was brutal.

Back at camp Sam tried to perk everyone back up, reminding them the other tribe are well fed while they are not. After that, things quickly descended into chaos as the hammock crew returned to rocking before locking in their vote for Dave. As such, Sandra then approached Croc to woo back the alpha male alliance, while Sam worked on Jesse and Jordan. And while everyone readily agreed to boot Dave, we also have way too long left of the episode, so something has to give.

Amy meanwhile was already feeling the paranoia that comes with having an idol before approaching Jay to loop him in on her fears that Sandra has turned the tribe against Dave. As such, Amy approached the alpha boys to talk about voting out Sandra instead, particularly because she plays a great under the radar game and the longer she lasts, the more fearsome she gets. Amy, Jay and Dave all split up to lock in the votes for Sandra, though Amy knew that there would be major problems should they try and take a shot at Sandra and miss. Meanwhile Croc, Ben and Jordan were relishing their role as the swing votes, weighing up whether booting Sandra or Dave would be better for the long term games. 

Back at the hammock however, Sandra, Sam and Michelle continued to strategise with the latter confessing that she spotted Amy finding her hidden immunity idol and floated the idea of switching the vote to get rid of her instead. Which Sandra was obviously all in on.

Sandra then approached the alphas again to loop them in on the new information, suggesting they split the vote between Amy and Jay instead to force Amy to flush her idol. While everyone quickly agreed to the plan, Jordan immediately went to Amy to tell her that everyone knows about her idol and as such, told her that she needs to play it tonight otherwise she is going home. While Amy continued to push for Sandra to go, she followed up with Sam, Jesse and Jay to loop them in on the new plan. Ben soon joined them and assured her that he, Jesse and Sam are all with her and will be voting out Sandra tonight.

While Sandra was making jokes about checking how to spell ‘Amy’ before deciding Jonathan will figure it out if she gets it wrong.

At tribal council Jordan spoke about how brutal the challenge was, Ben opened up about being blindsided at last tribal council, though Jordan agreed that getting rid of his ally did create more harmony in camp. Talk turned to the post-challenge scramble with Michelle opening up about how chaotic things were, with Sandra agreeing that everything changes on a dime. She then went in talking about how Amy and Jay who would usually speak to her ignored her all afternoon and as such, she knows she is going to be getting votes. She reminded them it was a better idea to keep people happy and thinking they were safe because otherwise, you can’t pull off a blindside.

Sam spoke about tribal council always being complicated, though looked at Sandra and assured her that she would be doing what she said. Amy tried to defend not talking to Sandra before the latter pushed her to admit that she had an idol. While Croc reminded her not to ever tell anyone when they have an idol, Amy admitted she didn’t tell anyone, as her allies looked on in shock. Jay tried to get everyone to focus on making a vote to keep things unified, while Sam felt there would finally be a line in the sand while Croc was just hoping to build some trust. Oh and Jay was confident there would be another blindside.

With that, the tribe voted and Amy (needlessly) played her idol for herself, negating the three votes against her while three piled up on Sandra before the rest all landed on Jay and sent him out of the game. With a different blindside to the one he was expecting.

Like Sam Schoers before him, Jay didn’t have a lot to say on the TV side of things but off the show, he is an absolute delight. And was playing such a strong game. As soon as he walked into Loser Lodge, I scooped him up in my arms and then realised I have zero upper body strength to lift him. Instead, I gave him a hug and then tried to sweeten his post-boot pain with some Jaypricot Bruno Jam.

Yeah, yeah, jam is jam. But you truly haven’t lived until you’ve made it at home, complete with the freshest produce. Sticky and sweet, the lemon is the super power, cutting through to give you a glorious mouthful of flavour.

Enjoy!

Jaypricot Bruno Jam
Makes: 4-6 cups.

Ingredients
1kg ripe apricots
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 cup water
4 cups raw caster sugar

Method
Halve apricots and remove stones before popping them in a saucepan with the lemon zest and juice, and water. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes, or until tender.

Take off the lid and stir in the sugar until dissolved. Again, bring to a boil and cook, uncovered, for half an hour, or until thick and jammy. But not too thick, given it will firm up as it comes to temperature.

Remove from the heat and leave to rest for five minutes before pouring into hot, sterilised jars to cool. Seal when cold. Or devour all at once, though that would be too much for even me.


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Danny MousseCrayke

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 41, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Jeffrey opted to offer up one final, major twist to the game where the first person eliminated from the immunity challenge would have their fate decided by a game of chance. Should they win, they are also immune but should they lose, they are eliminated and tribal council is cancelled. After Liana and Heather nope’d out of the challenge, Deshawn was the first to drop out and prepared to have his game left to chance before Danny took out immunity. Back at camp the tribe tried to come up with a plan B, which obviously was Liana, despite Deshawn and Danny making a compelling case to take out Ricard instead. Ultimately, Deshawn got lucky and stayed in the game before the majority held firm and booted Liana from the game in an emotional tribal council.

Back at camp Danny and Deshawn were reeling from tribal council, with the latter shocked by how emotional things were and how hard it was to send Liana home. Deshawn assured the tribe that he was ok but needed to talk to Danny to debrief and talk through their experiences. Danny then went to visit Xander, shocked by the fact Xander opted to get rid of Liana over Ricard, the far bigger threat. While Xander explained that Ricard is a shield for him, he agreed with Danny that getting rid of Ricard is now the priority given the protection isn’t needed anymore.

Which means Ricard is totally winning immunity, right?

The next day Heather caught up with Deshawn to talk about tribal council, grateful that she has had the chance to learn from him and grow. He explained that getting rid of Shan didn’t hurt him as much as voting out Liana, because they didn’t have the best relationship but explained to her that while race and culture shouldn’t come into things, his experience permeates everything whether he likes it or not and that is why getting rid of Liana was so hard. 

Deshawn then caught up with Erika, with her too telling him how proud she is of his ability to explain his feelings to the tribe, particularly because she too has the same concerns about herself playing the game for herself while representing a culture. She opened up about how she felt like voting out Liana runs contrary to her wanting a female – ideally herself – to win after such a long drought, though sometimes in the game you have to make decisions against what you want, to further your game. And it is tough.

The tribe caught up with my love Jeffrey for a reward challenge where they would split into two teams, climb up a net, jump off a pontoon, collect balls and then land said balls in a basket. And the victorious team can either pick a chicken and veggie feast or desserts, which Deshawn was disappointed about because he would have preferred a letter from home. Danny got his team – with Ricard and Heather – out to the earliest of leads which was quickly lost as Xander powered through the water. Both teams were neck and neck throughout the swimming portion before Deshawn landed the first basket for his team. After struggling with shooting, Danny traded out with Ricard who quickly landed his first basket. Sadly for him, Deshawn then quickly landed his second and third baskets, handing them victory and a, dun dun DUN, chicken and veggie feast.

And no letters from home.

Upon returning to camp they quickly smashed their food before talk turned to alliances, with Deshawn gladly offering himself up as a number. Erika and Xander admitted that they would love to get rid of Ricard next and as such, they would love to work with him. Which quickly escalated to them floating the idea about going to the final three together. Meanwhile the losers were hiding out in the shelter until Heather and Ricard left to do some chores, leaving Danny behind to search for Shan’s rehidden idol. Sadly for him, they returned to camp soon after and his absence made both of them nervous that he had, in fact, found an idol. 

The next day Deshawn and Erika were catching up by the well with Deshawn assuring her that he would truly like to go to the end together. Particularly since her going with Heather risks people not being able to distinguish their games and lessening their chances of winning. Which he pressured her to talk about, all to get Erika to verbalise the need to get rid of Heather.

The tribe reunited with Probst for the immunity challenge where they would need to navigate an obstacle course – while dizzy – to collect puzzle pieces before using said pieces to solve a word puzzle. Danny got out to the earliest of leads, though they all managed to catch up at a balance beam. Which Ricard made quick work of. While Ricard got to work on his puzzle early, the rest of the tribe soon joined him. Deshawn and Ricard both figured out the phrase at the same time, leading to a rush of activity as they battled to assemble it first, ultimately ending with Ricard winning his third immunity of the season.

As predicted, FYI.

Back at camp the tribe quickly split up to work on their plans while Danny and Deshawn discussed how stupid everyone was to vote out Liana over Ricard at the last tribal council. Danny next caught up with Ricard who confronted him about potentially finding the idol, with Danny denying he had one, though did share with us how happy he was to at least make them nervous. Xander meanwhile was catching up with Heather, suggesting that keeping Danny would be their best chance at beating Ricard at an immunity challenge and as such, they should think about keeping him a few more days.

Heather then caught up with Erika, with the latter pushing to get rid of Danny over Deshawn, given he is willing to work with her while Danny is not. As such, she got to work trying to convince the rest of her alliance that keeping Deshawn is in all of their best interests. She first caught up with Ricard, who sadly knew that was a bad idea for his game. Meanwhile Deshawn was trying to take control of his fate, pulling Xander and Heather aside to highlight their bonds and the fact that he would take them to the end while Danny probably wouldn’t and as such, it is in their best interests to keep him around.

At tribal council Deshawn was still smiling despite the fact it is clearly him or Deshawn going home tonight. Ricard meanwhile shared that he had a great day with Deshawn, though would still gladly vote him out tonight. Particularly since they both targeted him at the last tribal council. They both explained that they tried to take the shot when they had it, given he had been dominating the challenges and pointed to his victory as their proof. Erika stepped in to talk about the fact they all decide what is threatening to their game and that that is different for each of them. She trusts Ricard while Liana had previously voted for her and as such, she got rid of her.

Xander admitted that jury management is now also playing a part of their decision making while Danny and Deshawn were both just proud of their games thus far. Deshawn then decided to  cause some chaos, outing his conversation with Erika at the well about her getting rid of Heather. Eventually. Hilariously Ricard stepped in and told him that his truth bomb was kind of a terrible idea, given the fact he doesn’t even know if he is going home tonight and may have just cost him a chance of working with Erika in the end. Erika too questioned his timing, given that while they have had an up and down relationship, she has always been willing to work with him and the only thing his outburst did was confirm to her that she can’t trust Deshawn.

With that the tribe voted and as predicted, things were tied up between Danny and Deshawn, who each voted for the other. With that, Ricard, Heather, Erika and Xander re-voted and despite Deshawn’s messiness, unanimously sent Danny from the game.

Given Danny is such an upbeat, kind person, he was pretty chill by the time he arrived at Ponderosa, ok at being outplayed and ready to relax. While he was disappointed to be out of the game and for his alliance to be apparently going out back-to-back-to-back, he was proud of the way he played. Though I also think he was just eyeing off his Danny MousseCrayke, so who wouldn’t be feeling happy?

Velvety smooth mousse, perfectly poached pears and a light, spongy cake work together in harmony to deliver a cake that is as fluffy as it is decadent and rich.

Enjoy!

Danny MousseCrayke
Serves: 12

Ingredients
6 eggs, 3 of them split
285g raw caster sugar
75g plain flour
20g cacao powder
pinch of salt
30g unsalted butter, melted
3 pears, peeled, cored and cut into 1 cm slices
2 tbsp lemon juice
100ml spiced rum, plus 1 tbsp for the mousse
400g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
200ml milk
3 egg yolks
500ml cream, lightly whipped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200˚C and grease and line a 26cm spring-form cake tin.

Start by creaming the three whole eggs and 120g of the raw caster sugar in an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Sift the flour, cocoa powder and salt together in a large bowl. Add to the egg mixture with the melted butter and fold until just combined. 

Spoon the batter into the prepared tin and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until springy and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Once cooled, line the tin again and return the cake.

While the cake is getting chill, combine the lemon juice, rum, 110g of the sugar and ½ a cup of water in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Once the sugar is dissolved, add the pears and simmer for 10 minutes until tender. Drain the pears and leave the slices to cool, keeping the poaching liquid aside for serving.

Finally, combine the chocolate and milk in a heatproof bowl and cook in a double boiler, stirring minimally, until the chocolate is velvety and smooth. Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. While it is chilling, cream the yolks, remaining sugar and tablespoon of rum for 5 minutes until light and fluffy. Add the chocolate mixture and mix until just combined. Before folding in the whipped cream until it is, you guessed it, just combined.

To assemble, layer the pears on top of the cake, followed by the mousse, smoothing the top with the back of a spoon. Transfer to the fridge to set for 6 hours, or ideally overnight, until set.

Then, finally, slice, serve, drizzle with poaching liquid and devour. Gloriously.


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Cheryl Hole in One

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were tasked with coming up with their own brand of bottle water before filming commercials for then. The Vivienne ounces back with a messy housewife, while blu was filthy and Cheryl started strong but quickly faltered. Viv won, before Cheryl destroyed Blu and sent her from the competition.

Backstage the girls were heartbroken to lose Blu, none more so than Cheryl who had to kill her bestie to stay in the competition. Talk quickly turned to who would be the new shady queen with Chez suggesting to Baga that they could just leave it to The Viv and Divina to continue to fight it out. Viv and Baga asked Cheryl how she felt to perform in front of her idol, with her talking about how amazing it was for her. But Chez being Chez, she couldn’t let a nice moment linger and instead opted to point out that she didn’t think Blu should have even been lip syncing. Obviously that turned things on Baga as the queens asked why she wasn’t prepared for the lip sync, with Baga assuring them that while she didn’t have two lines down, trust and believe you would have got the performance of a lifetime from her if she had to.

The next day the top four jubilantly returned to celebrate how far they’ve made it before Baga welcomed The Vivienne into the triple badge club. Despite being the only one without a win, Cheryl was still on cloud nine from the girl group challenge and Cheryl Cole’s appearance. Oh and Baga talked about how painful it was for her to bottom for the first time. This was interrupted by Ru who arrived to host a mini-challenge bitchfest. With puppets. Because everyone loves puppets. Baga was first to pick her puppet, snatching The Vivienne from the gloryhole. Divina snatched Cheryl, The Viv got Divina and Cheryl was left with Baga.

After dragging up their puppets – of course The Viv gave Divina a red wig and an almost-silver dress – Baga did an uncanny impersonation of The Vivienne, in the shadiest way possible. Cheryl roasted Baga for being unprepared for her lip syncs and delivering sub-par runways. Divina was as mean as she could muster, thought rightly mocked Chez’s subpar track record while The Vivienne read Divina’s bad wigs and chalky make-up. And obviously her laugh. Ultimately Divina took out victory, which Chez claimed as her own given she needed to take whatever she could get.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the girls would be making over women in their families. Namely Baga’s mother Josie, Divina’s sister Carys, The Vivienne’s mum Cassie and Cheryl’s sister Gina. Who is already as iconic as her brother. While Cheryl was just glad it wasn’t their mother. Ru explained that they would need to transform their relatives into sickening drag queens, with strong family resemblance.

The queens quickly got to catching up with their loved ones with Divina explaining that she has struggled to get out of her head throughout the competition before her sister gave her an update on her pregnancy. Cheryl’s sister was obviously ready and willing to do whatever is needed to finally give Cheryl a win. Though given she was keen to go with bodysuits, despite Michelle’s preferences, she may be in trouble. The Vivienne told her mother that she can’t bring her down and better had shaved her minge and well, I love it. Particularly how cute her reaction was as she tried not to kill him. Rounding things out, Baga was nervous about going from Baga Chipz to Baga Shite and well, it just doesn’t fill me with much hope.

Ru arrived for a kiki, dropping by Divina and her sister first. She was thrilled to find out Carys is pregnant before talk turned to the angel inspired looks they’d be rocking. We learnt that the duo are two of seventh and I live for Carys because my parents too, opted to stop at perfection. But all Divina could focus on is the fact Ru asked if she was worried about anything? Meanwhile at the Chipz Family table we learnt baga was obsessed with Drag from childhood. Oh and that baga hasn’t painted anyone else’s face before, while her mum was nervous about letting Baga down. Though Ru told her she can’t embrace baga more than she did herself, so to relax.

Meanwhile over at Chez’s table, they were giving Ru the full Hole as we learnt she was the one that taught Cheryl how to beat her mug. Oh and both of them are super confident given their resemblance, though Ru was quick to point out she really does need a win given she is the only one without one. Finally, he dropped by The Vivienne’s table where we learnt Viv too was a childhood drag fanatic before her mum spoke about how despite what their family may think, they love Viv and damn, that is more touching than it sounds.

Meanwhile Baga was trying to give her mum a bit of a peptalk to help bring her confidence out and well, let’s just say, Baga, you’re in danger. Divina and her sister started practising their walk before Cheryl and her sister got up to show them up. The Vivienne and Baga pulled their mums aside to assure them that choreogprahy isn’t what matters and that all they need to do is guarantee that they all look like members of their drag families.

Chez continued to bring the comedy, pointing out her sister pretty much looks like a drag queen so it should be a piece of cake for them. Sadly, that acted like a non-Monsoon jinx as a zipper broke while trying on their outfits, leading to them resorting to their second choice.

The Viv and her mum decided to imitate Ru and dropped by Divina and her sister to find out what they’re doing, with Divina pointing out she is going with the red wig but is going off brand and swapped sequins for gems. Viv showed off their black outfits before Divina pointed out that Vivienne and Baga’s confidence is shaken as they’re terrified for their mothers. Cheryl too was growing nervous, catching up with Baga and her mum to talk about their looks. Zipgate came up, with Cheryl admitting that the longer it goes on the more anxious she gets. It led to a beautiful moment with Baga reminding her that she is the ultimate underdog and has always excelled and as such, needs to focus on that.

Is it too late to request a four-way crowning?

Elimination Day arrived and well let’s just say, Chez was still stressed about the challenge and didn’t want her sister to feel guilty. While Baga too was focussed on making sure her mother knows that any failures are his. Everyone got to work getting ready with Cheryl mocking Divina’s make-up skills, while The Viv and Baga gave their mother’s tape facelifts and had wholesome discussions about how their confidence grows in drag. The Vivienne noticed that Baga and her mum aren’t as close as he and his, so tried to help them bond and again – adorable.

On the mainstage Cheryl and her sister Sissy Hole were gloriously showgirls and proved that bodysuits can often be great, Michelle. The Vivienne and The Mother were glamorous in a rich old lady version of Dr Evil and Mini Me given the height difference. Divina and her sister Delisha looked glorious serving sexy twin mamas in white, bead gowns while Baga Chipz and Sacka Spuds rocked the runway with confidence but sadly, Baga really can’t do make-up on someone else. I mean, neither can I, but I don’t need to.

The judges lived for the Hole family, despite Sissy acting like Posh when the Spiceys were dancing. Oh and obviously, Michelle hated the spangled bodysuits but loved everything else. And the family resemblance. The Vivienne was praised for really bringing the family resemblance and clearly making her mum feel like a million dollars given how much fun she was having on stage. Divina and her sister were praised for killing literally everything, with the judges admitting it was hard to tell which one was the contestant and which was the family member. Oh and they lived for the pregnancy jokes. And then came Baga. Oh no, poor, Baga – the looks were read for being rough around the edges and having no similarities. While that was fine, Baga then started being ageist and blaming her build and well, I just wanted to hug poor Josie.

Backstage Cheryl served up the drinks to toast to their family members with The Vivienne praising her mum for doing so much for others and being all around delightful. Divina thanked her sister for her fearless performance, with everyone excited for her to show her little drag baby in the future. Cheryl was grateful that her sister served all the choreography and being amazing, while Baga’s mum loved that she couldn’t see anyone and as such was confident. The Vivienne told Baga to apologise to her mum and she tried to but ended up making Josie cry instead, with Divina stepping in and praising her for performing and giving her all and reminded her that it is Baga’s fault if she lands in the bottom.

Ultimately Divina joined the triple win club while The Vivienne saved herself as Cheryl and Baga were forced to fight it out in the lip sync. And fight they did. Though given it was to Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse, I’m sure you can guess who this number favoured. While Cheryl turned it out swishing the hips and selling her personality, Baga was in her element, leaning into the disappointment of landing in the bottom to give the performance a moody edge which was enough to give her the win. But more importantly, they both worked together and you could tell how proud of each other they were which was the true win.

Oh Chez, bless her heart, despite being one of the best makeovers she knew that her passion for bottoming would be hard to overcome and as such, took her elimination in her charming stride. Now, as you could probably guess, I’ve been a dear friend of Cheryl’s for years and actually originated the role of Nicole in her Girls Aloud tribute band. While a deportation issue led to my expulsion from the group, Cheryl still kept in contact with me and we became the best of pen pals. And as such, I knew our signature writing Cheryl Hole in One would be the perfect way to toast her success.

Let’s be honest, alcohol is always the answer to dull the pain in my eyes – let my therapist make of that what they want – but when it tastes this good, surely they’ll make an exemption. Robust, tangy and gloriously refreshing, it is the perfect palate cleanser heading into the finale.

Enjoy!

Cheryl Hole in One
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
2 shots Scotch whiskey
1 shot dry vermouth
¼ tsp lemon juice
a few drops of bitters
ice, to taste

Method
Place everything in a cocktail shaker and do as the song says, and shake it like a polaroid picture.

Strain into a cocktail glass. Down.


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Vinegarette Strokes

Condiment, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were tasked with starring in a sumptuous costume drama which was much betta than an acting challenge in the UK. Downtown Draggy led to a couple of killer performances as Baga slayed her way to victory ahead of Divina. Sum Ting lucked out by being on the winning team, while Blu was a little bit beige and Scaredy Kat was one note, landing them in the bottom on the losing team. With the latter sashaying away from the competition.

The queens returned to the Werk Room to discover Scaredy’s shady ageist mirror message, though praised how brave she was for coming into the competition as such a newbie. Everyone congratulated Blu on her killer performance, before she shared that lip syncing has lit a fire in her belly and she is ready to show everyone what she is made of. Talk turned to Baga’s killer performance before Cheryl checked in with everyone to see who they thought was the best Bond girl, with Vinegar, for some reason, thinking it was her. Before anyone could smack her down, Blu and Crystal checked if Cheryl was ok after everyone called her fake, with her admitting that she feels like she is being kicked while she is down. Though plans to shit on everyone. I assume not literally, but who knows.

The next day Ru arrived to test the girls skills on the pole, with a maypole quick-drag mini challenge. As the queens cobbled together chaste, country outfits, Baga looked like Vinegar’s Bond Girl look – aka a librarian – as they commenced skipping around the maypole, until Divina’s dance break saw her pound the puss straight into the floor. She was followed by The Vivienne twerking, Crystal going balls to the pole – literally – with some pole dancing, Baga went crab walking, Blu was terrifying in the best way possible, Sum Ting channelled a sumo, Vinegar served tatas and the Cheryl deathdropped and owned the room like the second coming of Alyssa Edwards. Which is particularly awkward given last week. Rightly Chez took out victory, which gave her an advantage heading into the main challenge – designing a high fashion look made out of junk. FROM RAVEN’S TRUNK.

As the Brit Crew – swoon – wheeled out Raven on the boot of her car, Ru explained that they would loot the car to create their looks. And as the winner of the mini challenge, Cheryl had 15 seconds to grab stuff before the other girls joined in. Cheryl grabbed a bucket of gloves, before the remaining queens jumped in and tore the car to shreds. I mean, they were literally pulling the fabric off the chairs. Once the car was torched, talk turned to who was feeling confident with Crystal acknowledging that she studied costume design at uni. Divina too was feeling confident, and opting to do corsetry with some laundry bags. Sum Ting ripped up her own jacket to use as a pattern, while Vinegar was modelling her look on a toothbrush. Which made The Vivienne desperately try to hide her laughter. Vinegar admitted that she has all of her costumes designed for her, so was feeling very nervous. On the flipside, Blu was confident in her sewing skills while Cheryl was trying to hide that she has no idea what she is doing with a glue gun. The Vivienne was going to drape videotapes, which sounded terrible, however she was far more concerned with how Sum Ting was going to pull off tailoring on her first try.

Ru made her triumphant ru-turn to check in with the queens, with Divina charged for victory after her breakdown the previous episode. Ru told her not to be so hard on herself, given she slayed the previous challenge. Baga shared her look would be scrubber chic made head to toe of steel wool, before talking about her passion for car boot sales. Cheryl was using rubber gloves as the basis of her skirt before Vinegar outlined her inspirations were toilet seats and toothbrushes. Ru explained that her looks have been a bit hodge podge and she needs to bring a little bit more glamazon.

Crystal shared that she was nervous that her degree would make herself be judged more harshly, while Blu was feeling the pressure to do Ireland proud and threw some light shade at Ru. The Vivienne was far nicer to the head judge, though given Ru heaped her with praise for turning looks every chance she got, of course she would be. The Vivienne explained the differences between UK and US drag, supporting Charlie’s claims that UK queens sing live. And well, Ru thinks that there is going to be something wrong with Sum Ting Wong’s look.

With Ru gone the queens discussed his feedback, with Vinegar mildly offended to be called hodge podge however she was humble enough to ask Crystal for feedback. And feedback she gave, telling her that her looks have been terrible and the one she is putting together is shite and she should probably start from scratch. In a far nicer way. On the other side of the room, Baga and The Vivienne went Thelma & Louise in the car while Divina thought it would be easier to just help Vinegar pack rather than finishing her outfit.

Elimination Day rolled around and Crystal was full of confidence, while Divina couldn’t stop laughing about Vinegar’s outfit. While everyone started to get ready, Vinegar tore up a book to make a new dress before Sum Ting shared that she would be lost without her in the competition, breaking down and hugging in a touching moment of friendship. Honestly. Divina and Blu spoke about the former’s start in drag, with them realising that Blu was in primary school when she started. Divina explained that the internet wasn’t really a thing and there were no make-up tutorials and hot damn, I feel old. The Vivienne, Crystal and Baga discussed Sum Ting’s beige looking outfit, not selling fashion or car boot sale. Everyone then looked at Cheryl’s outfit, realising it is glove fingers glued to bin bags and while she knew it wasn’t the most fashionable moment, it was very Cheryl. Oh and Divina is sick of Baga and The Vivienne’s confidence as it borders on smug.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Dame Twiggy on the judging panel, with Divina opening the runway slaying as the love child of David Bowie and Vivienne Westwood. Baga’s steel wool look was a bit of a mess, but her charm sold it well. Blu looked like a technicolour baby Chad Michaels in All Stars, Sum Ting channeled Vinegar’s Bond Girl look, The Vivienne was fierce, Vinegar was, I hate to say, just a bloody mess while Cheryl was a fingerbanging bumblebee and Crystal slayed as a work of art goddess. Baga was shocked that three outfits were worse than hers, going to safety with Blu while the rest of the girls were critiqued.

Divina received universal praise for a killer concept that was executed to perfection, Sum Ting was read for filth for a bland look, despite being able to articulate the concept well. The judges ate up everything The Vivienne did, with Michelle appreciating the way she put her own stamp on a look that has been done multiple times. Vinegar was read for filth, though charmed the judges through the process. Cheryl’s performance was praised, despite the fact her outfit was pretty terrible and led to Michelle calling out the girls for not learning to sew before coming into the competition. And then Crystal, obviously, received universal praise.

Backstage Baga was shocked to be safe and praised Blu for killing the competition. The other girls arrived and Vinegar was heartbroken to likely be lip syncing against her best friend. Or you know, Cheryl, the likely lip sync assassin. The Vivienne told Sum Ting she should have taken the other girls advice, which pissed off Sum Ting who was happy to potentially go home, given she loves the outfit. Talk turned to Michelle reading them for being unable to sew, with Cheryl pointing out that that isn’t what she does. The Vivienne agreed that she doesn’t sew either, but she learnt because she knew that she would need to. Somehow Vinegar thought she could read Cheryl’s look too, which was a mood. Particularly since Cheryl was selling her outfit to even her worst critics.

Ultimately Divina was crowned the winner of this week’s challenge for being more fashion than Crystal’s, while Vinegar Strokes was joined in the bottom by Sum Ting Wong. Shocking everyone, including Cheryl. It was the battle of the boleros as the besties lip synced to The Eurythmics’ Would I Lie to You. Despite being up against a West End performer, Sum Ting hit every syllable and owned the lip sync from the very first bar and saved herself, while Vinegar sashayed away.

As you can imagine, I am a dear friend of the total slag that is Vinegar, so I was gutted to see her go so soon. But damn did I enjoy reading her for filth with some casual shade. We laughed, we cried and wondered if maybe she would finally take a bigger role in Jamie before I surprised her with a cooling cup of Vinegarette Strokes.

Sure, a vinaigrette isn’t something you would usually want to chug however it is a bit of a backstage tradition that we started treading the boards together in the west end. Plus, when it taste this good, it really could double as an oily cocktail. Health advice be damned.

Enjoy!

Vinegarette Strokes
Makes: 2(ish) cups.

Ingredients
1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
⅓ cup honey
2 tbsp Dijon mustard
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 shallots, finely sliced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp thyme leaves
2 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place everything in a mason jar like a cool hipster, add a good whack of salt and pepper and shake to combine.

Then down if you’re brave or pour over a fresh garden salad if you’re normal.


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Sidecarol Kane

Drink, Hashbrown: The End

It is truly hard to pick a favourite character on Kimmy Schmidt. I mean, Titus is iconic, Jacqueline is Jacqueline, Kimmy is adorable and sweet but I will always have a special place in my heart from Lillian. Maybe because we both rent out apartments without floors or more likely because Carol Kane is an absolute damn delight!

Though to be completely honest, I do not and will not ever choose a favourite so DON’T bring it up again.

I first met Carol on the set of Annie Hall when I was part of Diane’s entourage and we bonded over the pain of trying to manage our naturally curly manes. I mean, everyone loves the concept of curly hair but it can be a total pain – particularly in heat or humidity – and that is something that only a curly can understand.

Somehow we’ve both managed to achieve great success despite the stress of our luscious, time consuming manes, so we don’t get to see as much of each other as we would like. No joke, we haven’t seen each other since 2006 and TBH it is probably the thing that keeps me up at night.

As a dear friend to both, I was on hand for the Madame Morrible changeover between Rue and her in Wicked, and we’ve been too busy to catch-up. Thankfully the end of Kimmy does offer us one positive, in that she had enough free time to jet down, reconnect, vow not to go so long between drinks and toast her success with a Sidecarol Kane. At it was amazing.

 

 

It should be extremely obvious by now that I will – and have – suck the alcohol out of deodorant if required, so it goes without saying that I find this delicious. But you will too – a little bit of tang and a whole lot of punch, it is the perfect way to honour a delightful show. And an even more delightful icon.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sidecarol Kane
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
2 shots brandy
1 shot orange liqueur
1 tbsp lemon juice
ice

Method
Pour the brandy, liqueur and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker and give a good ol’ shake.

Pour into an old fashioned glass filled with ice.

Down.

 

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