Kendall Gendircher Muesli

Breakfast, Canada's Drag Race: Canada vs the World, Canada's Drag Race: Canada vs the World 1, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on vs the World the BBC kindly hosted the inaugural United Nations of Drag battle royale, featuring finalists, robbed icons – looking at you, Lemon and Chez – and even a mother tucking host. And let’s just say, things got wilder than Jimbo flinging bologna at Ru pretty quickly. In addition to the lunch meat, there were gaggy eliminations, gaggier lip syncs and for consistency’s sake, a Jujubee appearance in the finale. Sadly for her, the crown went to the UK as Blu Hydrangea snatched it from Mo Heart and took it home to Northern Ireland.

But that was then and now we’ve changed out the Curry Chipz for poutine as we return to the northern part of North America as Rita made their triumphant return to the Canadian Werk Room. Well, mainstage, as is apparently the tradition for the International battles. In any event, she looked stunning in a glorious green gown before Stephanie Prince joined her, ready to rectify the robbery of her being eliminated on her first season. And while I love her, girl, nope, it was not a robbery. Though she was cute as the green fairy. Kendall joined her fellow Canadians looking perfect in a regal blue superhero number, followed by former mother tucking winner herself Icesis and damn, you can tell she has the money. That lilac look was glorious.

And her Season 2 sisters – and even Rita – were not happy about her presence.

Representing us south of the equator, Down Under’s Anita was giddy, delightful and ridiculous and ugh, I love her and know she will make us proud. They were joined by Brooke’s sister, the one with the good milk, Silky and ugh, I love her and can’t wait to see her dominate again and earn our love like her run in All Stars 6. Speaking of queens who got rudemption and then some on All Stars 6, purple queen Ra’Jah arrived and ohhh-hhh my go-ooood, crown her now. Whether she is concerned about Icesis or not. Vanity arrived from across the pond and well, she was stun-ning in orange. Dirty rice, indeed. Thankfully she also assured us she won’t be serving Baga Chipz, which is important for all contestants to clarify TBH. Rounding out the cast is the iconic first cis female cast member of any Ru franchise, Victoria Scone and well, she is still as gorgeous and stunning as I remember.

Brooke soon dropped by to welcome her cast and announce that their first maxi challenge would see them split into groups of three to form Girl Groups. Rita, Anita and Victoria formed the first band, Kendall, Icesis and Stephanie kept it in their season while Silky, Vanity and Ra’Jah would no doubt dominate together. Each band would have to write and record a verse on the new single Bonjour! Hi! with the top 2 lip syncing for the right to eliminate one of the bottoms. Again, as is tradition.

The dolls ventured backstage to get to know each other and find their place in the Werk Room, where Team USA vowed to be the Top 2, which feels right. Anita meanwhile was loving how kind everyone was and as such, read Silky for absolute filth every chance she got. Rumail interrupted their de-dragging experience to welcome them to the competition – despite Brooke already telling them what was happening – before they split up to work on their lyrics. Silky, Ra’Jah and Vanity agreed on calling themselves SRV while Victoria was thrilled to be on team nana, despite her literally being the youngest on the cast. Stephanie meanwhile was super confident and assumed her band would be the top three before talk turned to how obvious a target Icesis is. And well, I love her admitting that she knows everyone will come for her, so she just plans to destroy and never give them the chance.

Dripping winner’s energy all over the stage.

Vanity was busy tackling racism within the fandom in her verse before Brooke dropped by with Anjulie to see how they were going, with Anita glad to say g’day to the duo. Rita was charming and Victoria was thirsty and ready to show Anjulie a soggy bottom. Icesis meanwhile was silly and fun on her verse while Kendall was a little repetitive and Stephanie was straight up not interested in getting feedback from an actual popstar. SRV were up next with Brooke excited to see her sisters and well, it was clear that they are the team to beat despite Ra’Jah looking like she was about to drown in her lyrics like Toto have before her.

Team Nana – aka Touche – dropped by the mainstage to work through the choreography with Victoria taking the lead and despite keeping it simple, poor Rita got stuck in her head and spiraled. Stephanie assumed power in team Season 2 and filled Icesis with nerves, given she and Stephanie were in the bottom two in their girl groups. SRV meanwhile were perfect from start to finish and ready to slay.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls giddy with nervous energy, before talk turned to how everyone intends to eliminate people. And while everyone agreed they wanted to play fair, Rita knew it would be different when the moment actually happens. The dolls split up to get ready with Ra’Jah talking to the UK girls about the scene back home, with them agreeing it is quite segregated and they need to open themselves up more. Kendall praised Vancouver for always pushing for diverse lineups in their clubs before Miss Silky spoke about the horrors of racism in the US but how hopeful she was for things to change. Eventually.

Brooke and Anjulie took their places on the judges panel alongside Traci – donde esta, Brad?! – before Touche debuted their version of Bonjour! Hi! and well, it was just as camp and infectious as I hoped. Anita was a delight, Rita was a damn star and Victoria was so stupid and fun and ugh, I love it. Maple She-rups – a name Icesis earlier tried to kill – were up next and despite her sisters being way more confident, it was Icesis who owned the song and hit every piece of choreography. Oh and then SRV molly whopped the girls with Vanity stamping her place on the competition from the very first line. But that does not mean her sisters didn’t slay as they served all the charm and energy possible. It’s just that Vanity was THAT good.

On the Queen of the World runway Anita was glorious in a fuschia, frilled gown, despite it not really fitting that well. Rita served pineapple queen realness and well, it was stunning. Victoria paid homage to her name, covered in jam and cream and well, she was stunning. Kendall gave superhero glam in white, Icesis was glorious in a shimmering silver gown while Stephanie was stunning in a traditional Filipina look. Vanity was full Victorian realness in a golden quilted number, Ra’Jah was glorious in a purple pantsuit dripping in roses while Silky was glorious as the sexiest widow before revealing a stunning jeweled ball gown. And ugh, it is a toot.

Victoria, Icesis and Silky were sent to safety before Anita was praised for being high energy and sticking to herself, though read for blending into the background. Rita meanwhile received universal praise for everything she gave this week, before Kendall was read for being stuck in her head rather than bringing the fire to her performance and for looking good, but not on theme, on the runway. Stephanie explained her runway was an homage to her grandfather whose funeral she couldn’t attend due to COVID and while the judges loved it, everyone was nervous about her dropping the pot on her head. Including her. And they felt her performance was just going through the motions. Vanity rightly only got praise, with Brooke rightly announcing she murdered the entire challenge. And then she did that on the runway, so yeah, she is in the Top 2. Ra’Jah too was beloved, despite Brooke missing some of her lyrics. 

Despite Ra’Jah doing that though, it was Rita that joined Vanity in the Top 2 while Kendall and Stephanie found themselves up for elimination. 

Backstage the dolls congratulated the Top 2 on their performances, with Rita praising her bandmates for raising her up. Vanity meanwhile praised Silky and Ra’Jah for being such delightful role models for her and making her feel welcomed and able to slay. This led to Silky giving a beautiful speech about how welcome she feels and how grateful she is for her new sisters and ugh, I love it. Victoria checked in on the bottoms with Kendall admitting she knew she is better than how she performed, while Stephanie is heartbroken to potentially end her rudemption run already. Rita kikied with Kendall who admitted she was super nervous, though assured Rita she will do better and have her back, should the tables be turned. Stephanie meanwhile stuck to the task at hand, pointing out she did better in the challenge and as the only Asian queen on the cast, she wanted to represent her heritage. 

The safe girls meanwhile were busy gossiping with everyone agreeing it would be a close call and as such, Ra’Jah was thinking the decisions could get competitive. Kendall meanwhile was checking in with Vanity, telling her how disappointed she is and how she is super focused on turning it next time. With her worried she would be Pangina’d, which, no. But bless. Rita meanwhile told Stephanie that she loves Kendall, but eliminating her as a threat is still an option. Which obviously made Stephanie very nervous, given Rita gave her nothing.

After selecting their lipsticks, Vanity and Rita returned to the mainstage and took their places for the first lip sync of the season. And well, duh, Vanity was perfection from start to finish of Brand New Bitch by Anjulie, despite Rita leaning into her ridiculous drunk ‘80s diva character. As we saw in the performance, Vanity knows how to perform, splitting and flipping and hitting every lyric and well, it was great to watch her triumph and prove just why she made it to the top four of UK 3. As such, she rightly took out the first win of the season – with a cash prize to boot! – and promptly sent poor Kendall Gender home as the first boot.

Backstage Kendall was obviously disappointed, but given she is so kind, chill and literally made the finale less than a year ago, she quickly perked up and was glad Stephanie would get more of a chance to show what she can do. I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her that becoming a First Boot on an All Stars season is iconic and outside of winning, that is the way to do it. I mean, when you are in the company of Lemon, Pandora, Coco, Thorgy – on a technicality – Jasmine Masters, Derrick Barry and THE Serena ChaCha it is hard to be disappointed. As such, we laughed, toasted to her ongoing success and smashed a healthy and delicious Kendall Gendircher Muesli.

I know, I know – how can muesli be comforting, you ask? But I challenge you to try this and not fall in love. Fresh and light, while packed full of flavour, all while being healthy, it truly is the ultimate way to start your day.

Enjoy!

Kendall Gendircher Muesli
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 apple, cored and quartered
1 cup rolled oats
½ cup apple juice
½ cup natural or Greek yoghurt, plus extra to serve
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp honey
¼ cup flaked almonds
¼ cup walnuts
2 tbsp pepitas

Method
Grate the apple and mix it in a bowl with the rolled oats, juice, yoghurt, cinnamon and honey until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge to infuse overnight.

When you’re ready to serve, add half the almonds, walnuts and pepitas to the muesli and stir to combine. Divide the mixture among the bowls and sprinkle with the remaining almonds, walnuts and pepitas, and some extra yoghurt. Then, devour.


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Cinnamon Bunathan Young Pie

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 42, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor the final five appeared to be neatly split into two pairs or Jonathan and Mike on one side and Lindsay and Maryanne on the other with Romeo left right out. Before heading to the immunity challenge, treemail arrived with a puzzle which they had to solve for a clue to an advantage in the challenge and while Lindsay jagged it, it didn’t help as Mike powered through the puzzle and snatched it out from under her. Back at camp Maryanne was confident Mike would play his idol for her despite the fact he literally promised everyone by Romeo the exact same thing. Ultimately though, his idol play for Maryanne – who sat on hers – didn’t matter, as she joined with the boys to take out the biggest threat left in the game, Lindsay.

The final four arrived at the final immunity challenge where they were all feeling exhausted and nervous about what lay ahead of them. Speaking of which, the challenge is the iconic simmotion one that famously cost Wentworth the game in Second Chances, and many other icons throughout the years. The tribe would each have to drop balls into a metal contraption, slowly adding more throughout the challenge with the last one still juggling balls taking out the win.

Everyone spoke about what was driving them to take out the challenge, though it was Maryanne who gave us all the heart, opening up to Probst that she is just grateful to be there in that moment, because she knows it means that everyone in her family will be watching along at home, cheering her on. And since there is a bit of a feud in her family, she is hoping the power of Survivor brings everyone back together, and that would mean more to her than a million dollars. And well, give her the money too please.

Almost as soon as the challenge got under way, Mike dropped his ball out of his hand in a lapse of concentration. Everyone else made it to their second ball before Maryanne tragically dropped hers. As she broke down in tears, Romeo and Jonathan continued to fight through as they added a third ball followed by a fourth, which was enough to end Jonathan’s game, handing Romeo – yes, ROMEO – individual immunity. Like a damn icon. He opened up about how his entire game has been completely exhausting, constantly on the bottom and everyone’s plan B, but not only is he now safe, he has made it to the final tribal council.

Back at camp Romeo was well and truly feeling his oats, ready for everyone to finally treat him with a bit of respect as they tried to make their way to the end. Mike pulled Romeo aside to assure him that he knows he will be making fire, but it is important that he makes the right decision of who exactly he needs to face, given Maryanne is more of a threat to win than Jonathan. Speaking of the duo, Maryanne was coaching Jonathan on how to make fire, given she would far prefer to sit next to him than Mike in the final three.

Mike and Romeo returned, with Mike taking Jonathan to the shore to convince him that it is critical that should Romeo offer to take him to the end, he takes it. Because he needs to take his place in the final however he can get it. Which Jonathan could tell was just him trying to get into his head before the unsafe trio split up to continue practice making fire.

The jury were shocked as Romeo arrived at tribal council wearing the immunity necklace before he spoke about finally having his star moment and how proud he is to take out immunity. Maryanne admitted that she is very much ready to vom, despite how confident she is in her firemaking skills. Jonathan too was busy hyping himself up while Mike admitted he knows he is making fire, though is worried about who his opponent may be. Romeo meanwhile spoke about second guessing himself and worrying about who to save, though that he ultimately is sticking with his gut, taking Maryanne along for the ride and leaving the boys to battle it out in fire.

With that, Mike and Jonathan took their place at the fire making stations and while Jonathan made fire with ease back at camp, he struggled to get a meaningful flame. Mike meanwhile quickly got his flame and started to build a stack, burning through all the husk as he built an epic teepee. Jonathan soon got a flame and quickly worked to close the gap as Mike’s flame started to lick at the ropes. While Jonathan was methodical as he built his fire, Mike literally threw everything on the table and despite the chaos, he managed to burn through the rope and secure his spot at final tribal council.

Jonathan was very zen about his exit, accepting that there is nothing he could do to change the outcome and he reiterated that loves everyone in the tribe very much. He held his head high as he became the final juror to enter Ponderosa for the season and I quickly pulled him in for a hug to congratulate him on making it so far despite his massive target. Which coincidentally is why I pulled him in for a massive hug, because I wanted to feel the warmth of all of that man mountain. And then smash a celebratory Cinnamon Bunathan Young Pie, shirtless in each other’s arms.

Like everything else that comes out of Milk Bar, this little number is near perfection. Kinda like Jonathan’s body? Delicate creamy filling, earthy browned butter and super spicy, it is the ultimate celebratory dessert. Which is good for all occasions.

Enjoy!

Cinnamon Bunathan Young Pie
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
‘Mother Dough’
3½ cups flour
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
1 ¾ cups water, at room temperature
Liquid Cheesecake
250g cream cheese
150g raw caster sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
½ tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp milk
1 egg
Cinnamon Streusel
¼ cup flour
¼ cup rolled oats
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp butter melted
¼ tsp vanilla extract
Assembly
¼ cup brown butter
¼ cup brown sugar tightly packed
¼ tsp kosher salt
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
To start, get to work on your mother dough by combining the flour, salt and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Add the water and stir with the dough hook by hand until just combined before transferring it to the mixer and kneading on low for 10 minutes, or until a smooth, soft ball forms.

Transfer to a large oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave to prove for an hour or until doubled.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

Next, get to work on the liquid cheesecake – which you will learn about its sole majesty very soon, I promise – by popping the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer and beating on medium for a couple of minutes. Add the sugar and beat for an additional couple of minutes and scrape down the sides. Combine the cornstarch, salt, milk and egg in a jug and whisk together until smooth, before adding to the mixer and beating for another 3 or 4 minutes, or until beautifully smooth. Pour into a lined square cake pan and bake for 15 minutes, or until the outside is just setting, but it is still jiggly in the middle. Remove from the oven to cool.

While that is chill and the dough is busy proving itself, turn your attention to the streusel by tossing the flour, oats, cinnamon, salt and brown sugar until combined. Fold through the melted butter and vanilla until clusters start to form.

Turn the oven up to 180C.

Punch down the dough, dust a surface with some extra flour and roll it out to form a 25cm disc that is about 1.5cm thick. Press into a large pie pan and place said pie pan on a lined baking sheet. Brush half the brown butter over the dough before pouring half the liquid cheesecake over the top in an even layer, followed by the remaining brown butter and the brown sugar, gently pressing into place. Sprinkle with the salt and cinnamon, followed by the remaining cheesecake and finally, the streusel.

Transfer the pie to the oven to bake for 40 minutes, or until the centre is slightly jiggly while the edges have set. Transfer to a wire rack to cool for fifteen minutes or so before serving. And devouring, thrilled to be back in the land of 6000 calories a day.


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Anzach Kozyrskcuits

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor a BBQ reward had everyone fighting hard, slipping and sliding to snatch something to eat. After David, Moana, Zach, Brooke and Sharn dominated the others, they headed off to smash their feast before learning that they also won letters from home. While I thought that would be all the tears I would cry this episode, Lee was pulled away from camp to learn that his mother had suffered a massive stroke. After telling everyone what had happened, the tribe rallied around him as they farewelled him from the game to go be with his family. With his mother tragically passing away before he made it back to Brisbane.

Before we could process what happened, Jonathan returned to our screens for the next immunity challenge where they were required to tread water in the shallows while holding a ball in a shoot above their heads. With the last one standing, or treading more accurately, snatching immunity. Moana quickly dropped out, followed by Zach, Jacqui and AK, all within the first five minutes. Tarzan was next to go while the other four fought hard for over thirty minutes.

Sharn was next to go, quickly followed by Brooke leaving Queen Shonee to face off against David. Knowing that they were screwed should she win immunity, AK pulled Brooke aside and told her not to tell Shonee when she was close to dropping in the hope of saving themselves. Sadly for them, she and David managed to hold on for ninety minutes before David started to struggle. And then dropped his ball after two hours, handing Queen Shonee her second immunity.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Shonee on her victory before she shared that she is so good at swimming because she treads water while chatting with her friends at the pool every day. After throwing some shade at the people that call her weak, she caught up with AK and Brooke to figure out a plan while David, Zach and Tarzan tried to figure out who to get rid of after the tie between Brooke and AK. With them favouring Brooke, given she is the bigger beast in challenges. With that Sharn approached Shonee, Brooke and AK to make sure that they weren’t looking for idols, though admitted that she would be interested to talk. AK suggested that she could pick their target and join them to get rid of that person, sending them home without needing to revote.

Unsure whether Sharn would follow through, AK got to work chatting to Zach and David to find a way to get them to not split the votes between him and Brooke. And instead join them to get rid of Brooke. She, meanwhile, was focused solely on keeping their alliance together. Wait, no, she pulled Shonee aside to see if she would join her in writing down AK’s name and sending him home to avoid a tie.

At tribal council Jonathan caught the jury up on the Lee situation before Moana spoke about how they aren’t simply targeting OG Vakamas, and instead are trying to get rid of threats. And while David tried to echo the sentiment, AK called bullshit and said that he and Brooke are screwed. Brooke admitted to wearing her vote-out outfit – so she looks good getting her torch snuffed – before Shonee went in, telling the majority how funny it is how many different agendas their alliance is managing. Jacqui tried to downplay things, reminding everyone that they are all cogs in a wheel and it only functions when they stick together. AK laughed about how great it will be when they need to turn on each other, before Brooke called out Dave – a physical threat – for targeting her for being a physical threat. She then savaged Dave and told him to lift his game, which was a-maze-ing.

Jonathan then put a spanner in all their works, telling everyone that tonight, the three highest vote getters at tonight’s tribal council would be going to Exile Beach. Joined by three people after the next tribal council, before the six battle in a series of challenges until one person is eliminated. Which is convoluted, however I will forgive it because they had to drag things out another episode after Lee’s family tragedy.

With that the tribe voted and as expected AK and Brooke were sent to exile, while they stuck together with Shonee and the trio selected a frustrated Moana to join them. And when they arrived at Exile, her mood did not improve one bit as she silently put herself to bed as the other two snuggled in together. The next morning the trio awoke to a beautiful sunny day, while Moana was miserable, hiding in the jungle before rallying and encouraging her fellow exiles to make the camp as nice as possible. And then bonding with the duo so that should they all make it back, they are two people that she can have in her back pocket.

Back in the main game the tribe were eating a breakfast of sandy rice, giving Shonee the giggles while the boys grew annoyed at Jacqui. Who I assume, they assume put the sand in it. Despite being down 5-1, Queen Shonee was hopeful that her positive attitude and friendly nature would help her avoid going to exile for the second time. She bonded with Dave, swapping celebrity stories, however he knew her game and didn’t want to give her a further in. As such, he worked on Zach and Tarzan to confirm that they will still send Shonee to Exile before planting the seeds that Zach should sacrifice himself to save the rest of the alliance. And more importantly, Dave.

Jonathan returned for the next immunity challenge where the tribe would hold onto a long pole tethered to a board where they must balance three balls in holes one at a time. And then return to the end of their pole without dropping any. I’d like to say the challenge was exciting, but honestly, it was brutal to watch as everyone dropped their balls over and over again, until Sharn finally snagged victory and put everyone out of their misery.

Back at camp David got to work trying to avoid going to exile, while Sharn tried to figure out who to send to exile with Shonee. With Zach seemingly still keen to be one of them and Tarzan unlikely to win a challenge, so therefore safe, David and Jacqui were the only other options. Poor, sweet Zach – who would have thought – was keen to be part of the A team, as David tried to pretend that Jacqui would be a better member of the team, despite him having a better challenge record. David and Sharn caught up, with Sharn pointing out that David would be a good option to win the challenge with him trying to defend himself by pointing out that he is sick and weakened. Eventually they and Jacqui agreed that Jacqui was the better option and hot damn, why aren’t they targeting him?

Alone at camp with Sharn and Tarzan, Jacqui told them that she doesn’t want to go to Exile and as such, she and Sharn floated the possibility of blindsiding David instead. Sharn then told Tarzan that she has plenty of plans for how to navigate that moving forward and while he agreed nobody wants to face David at the end, why do I think this isn’t going to end well for Sharn? Oh, because Tarzan took said intel straight back to David, that’s why.

At tribal council Sharn spoke about the complexity of deciding how to send half the tribe to exile, versus booting a single person from the game. Jacqui admitted that she was keen to go to Exile for her resume to begin with, however the closer it got to the point of going, she got nervous. On cue David coughed to remind everyone how weak he is, before Zach admitted that he is still happy to go to exile. He then pointed out that Jacqui and Shonee are the best at challenges and as such, they would be the ones to join him. Sharn tried to play tough, reminding everyone that they all have their own votes and people shouldn’t fall in line if they don’t want to.

Shonee then admitted that she is going kicking and screaming and looked forward to spending more time with Jacqui on Exile, given she hasn’t really done anything to avoid it. Jacqui tried to defend herself and pointed out that she has done things to protect herself, leading to David pointing out just how strong she is at challenges. Zach reiterated how excited he was to build his resume, unaware that being voted out twice and sent to exile isn’t the best way to charm the jury. Unless of course, you’re Shonee – who I would gladly look the other way for. 

Sick of all the challenge talk, Jonathan announced that this little twist will work differently than they are expecting, with the exiled group competing in two challenges, with three people earning their way back into the game and joining the other people in the game to vote to boot one of the remaining people on Exile. Shonee tried to use this to point out that all the ex-Vakama people could technically make themselves safe and as such, the Mokutas would be the only people eligible to vote for and as such, sacrificing yourself is pretty stupid. Though Zach, bless, was undeterred. With that, the tribe voted and as expected sent Shonee and Jacqui to exile, with a tie for third between David and Zach. As such, that meant Sharn and Tarzan were required to revote and with her back kind of against the wall, Sharn opted not to rock the boat and sent Zach to Exile.

The exile crew were stirred awake by their new friends, a jubilant Zach included. He then regaled them with tales about how excited he was to volunteer and use going to exile as a way to boost his resume, while AK looked on in concern that someone could be stupid enough to volunteer. I mean, if it was such a great look for the resume, wouldn’t everyone have been pushing for it?

Back at the actual camp, the non-exiled trio were happily lazing about, with Sharn explaining to us that she kept Dave around because she wants to blindside him, not have him exit via a twist. Which sure, sounds great, but I feel like this is revisionist history right there. David was thrilled that he was able to convince Zach to volunteer, before pulling Sharn aside to thank her for protecting him the night before, hoping to make her feel guilty about potentially turning on him. He then suggested to the other two that they need to be careful of the five from exile returning to camp and turning against them, with Jacqui in particular a concern, given she didn’t have a choice in going.

Speaking of Jacqui, she was trying to put on a brave face on Exile while Zach continued to talk about how great their predicament is. This made Jacqui even more furious, annoyed by how stupid Zach is to not see that he is Dave’s puppet and is being groomed as the ultimate goat at final tribal. Thankfully Queen Jacqui was treating this as a wake-up call and she planned to use it to her advantage and turn on the boys as soon as she could. Seeing how enraged Jacqui is, Shonee decided to continue on a charm offensive and endear herself to Jacqui. And use that to flip her to their side. Moana meanwhile was feeling vulnerable, worried about a challenge dictating her fate and as such, was resolved to fight for her family even more.

With that Jonathan returned for the first exile challenge where the first two to make a stick long enough to collect a flint, and then use said flint to build a fire high enough to burn through a rope – deep breath, long sentence, no? – secure their safety and return to the main game. Moana got out to an early lead, thanks in no small part to the constant coaching of David and Sharn. As everyone struggled, Moana got to work on her fire, quickly getting a flame as her coaches cheered from the side. Zach and Brooke battled to release their flints, both anxiously dragging it towards them as Moana’s fire burnt through the rope and secured her safety. She started to break down, overwhelmed by saving herself, as the rest of the group battled it out for second place. Zach was next to get his flint as his allies cheered and coached from the sidelines, much to Jacqui’s chagrin. Brooke quickly joined him after releasing her flint, slowly building a fire while Zach feverishly worked on his, hacking his hands in the process. The duo were neck and neck as their flames built before Brooke’s started licking at the ropes and burnt through just ahead of Zach’s.

Brooke and Moana returned to camp with Sharn, Tarzan and David, talking about how thrilled they are to be back in the game. Well Moana at least, who they all love, while poor Brooke was feeling left out, despite being proud of herself. Meanwhile Zach returned to exile far less jubilant, as he, Jacqui, Shonee and AK lamented their loss. While Zach was confident in his allies saving him no matter what, he knew that winning the challenge is what he needs to build his resume, otherwise offering himself up is a bust. On the flipside, Shonee was still trying to work Jacqui to try and get her to turn on her allies. She and Jacqui caught up and spoke about the last vote, with Shonee telling her that she only voted for her to go to exile because she wanted to spend time with her and hated the thought of hanging with Dave. She then pointed out how her allies were barely cheering her on at the last challenge and as such, they should work together to guarantee their safety even if they lose the challenge.

Speaking of the challenge, Jonathan returned and announced that the final challenge would see each of them holding a weight via a rope and keep it between a coloured zone. With the last person standing returning to the game and the remaining trio becoming the only option for the rest of the tribe. AK and Shonee both struggled early in the challenge while Zach grew cocky, hopping on one leg until his allies told him to pull his head in. As they both continued to struggle, AK suggested he and Shonee drop at the same time, with the icon refusing. While they tried to fight through it, AK couldn’t hold out any longer and became the first person to drop. While Zach and Jacqui stood like statues, Shonee fought with all her might before just dipping out of the coloured zone and eliminating herself from the game. After thirty minutes, chatting about how both trust their allies but won’t give in, the duo started to struggle and in turn, bicker amongst themselves. Well until Zach dropped after 45 minutes, that is, sending Jacqui back to the tribe and filling Shonee’s face with a huge grin.

Back at camp David assured Zach that his alliance has his back and that they would all be joining together to get rid of Shonee. After joining together and outlining that they would force the minority to vote with them to ensure Shonee goes, Jacqui decided to head back to camp for a little more food. As she wandered back, Shonee and Brooke caught up, with Shonee updating her ally on her growing bond with Jacqui and how she believes that if they stick together, they could sway Jacqui to vote Zach as well and send him from the game. With Brooke and AK keen, Shonee caught up with Jacqui with the latter suggesting to turn on Zach before Shonee even floated the idea.

With the foursome locked in, Jacqui wanted to do damage control with Moana before even turning on her. While Moana wasn’t interested in turning on her alliance, she was happy with the idea of getting rid of Zach and freeing up David as a shield for her and Sharn. She filled in Sharn, who agreed that Jacqui’s plan was best for the three of them, but wisely she suggested that she and Moana pretend that they didn’t know about it, making it Jacqui’s move for her resume. And more importantly, keeps David’s wrath solely focused on her only.

At tribal council Zach spoke about trusting in his alliance to keep him safe as payback for protecting them at the last one. Jacqui was proud of herself for earning her safety, while Tarzan agreed that he would be voting to save Zach before David spoke about being across everything that happened on Exile. Tarzan agreed that the alliance didn’t suffer any damage after the twist, before AK hinted that he became aware of some cracks while on exile, though pretended that he got caught out and as such, shut them down. Brooke too acted defeated – shit position, ay – as the majority continued to say the exact same thing in slightly different ways before Shonee played dejected, appealing to Jacqui’s friendship. AK tried to plead with them to make moves before it was too late, while Jacqui pretended that she was happy with the status quo. Shonee and AK pretended that they will be voting for each other before Dave told them that while it sucks, a lot can change in a few days and to hold their head up high, clearly hoping to scoop AK up as an ally for his eventual flip.

With that the tribe voted and David was shocked and frankly, enraged to discover that he had been outplayed as Jacqui became the first one to flip, joining with Brooke, Shonee and AK to send Zach out of the game and over to the jury.

While Zach was embarrassed that his misplaced trust and confidence was his ultimate undoing, I quickly changed the subject and told him to focus on what is truly important. The fact that he got his redemption! I mean, Zach and I were essentially sworn enemies after he trolled me for trolling him during his first season. But showing his genuine, soft side this season, I was reminded of the man I befriended when we both worked on Gladiator. As such, I was thrilled to reward his kind heart and better showing with a batch of Anzach Kozyrskcuits.

Hard or chewy, there is nothing better than an Anzac biscuit. Sweet, earthy and super easy to make, you can tell why these were sent to people in war zones as they have a remarkable way of bringing you even just a moment of unadulterated happiness.

Enjoy!

Anzach Kozyrskcuits
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups flour, sifted
1 cup rolled oats
½ cup raw caster sugar
¾ cup desiccated coconut
150g unsalted butter, chopped
2 tbsp golden syrup
1 ½ tbsp water
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

Method
Preheat the oven to 170C. 

Combine the flour, oats, sugar and coconut in a large bowl and stir to combine. Meanwhile place the golden syrup and butter in a saucepan and melt over low heat, stirring sporadically to combine. Remove from the heat.

Mix the water and bicarb together in a cup and add to the golden syrup and butter. Once the bubbling has subsided, add to the dry ingredients and stir until combined.

Roll the mixture into golf-ball sized, balls, and place on lined baking sheets, pressing down the tops to form discs.

Transfer to the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for five to ten minutes before devouring at their peak chewiness.


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Jane Crackpieski

Baking, Dessert, Hashbrown: The End, Pie, Sweets

Like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt itself, we’ve reached the end of the road of our farewell celebration – Hashbrown: The End – and I am starting to get a bit misty, which is inappropriate when you’re meant to be honouring a hilarious show. But after catching up with Carol, Dylan, Ellie and Tituss I was too emotional, so I reached out to my dear friend and icon Jane Krakowski to see if she was free to drop by.

And she obviously was, since you’re ready this.

As you know I met future EGOT Jane in the 80s while co-starring in Starlight Express until my before I was callously cut. Thankfully it was Jane’s undying love and support that saw we through the tragic loss of my role of a lifetime.

Given Jane is a damn comedy icon, I try to see her as much as possible however it has tragically been well over two years since we last got together. As soon as she walked through customs I ran into her arms and started sobbing – some say it was because I missed her so, but we both knew that it was because at the close of today Jacqueline Voorhees will go the way of Jenna Maroney. And that is hard for me to deal with.

Unless Teens does reboot 30 Rock, I guess.

Somehow I managed to pull myself together long enough to drive home, go to the fridge and pull out the ultimate comfort food in the form of a Jane Crackpieski.

 

 

I feel like I am on a bit of a Milk Bar kick at the moment, but you know, when it’s right, it’s right. Any everything they do is right, even when it is a mistake. If you don’t know the story, Christina Tosi made the pie for staff dinner and while it was undercooked and she felt it was a dud, they couldn’t stop eating it and an sweet, addictive icon was born – the Crack Pie®.

And if that doesn’t offer you hope in a post-Kimmy Schmidt world, I don’t know what does.

Enjoy!

 

 

Jane Crackpieski
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
Oat Cookie
115g unsalted butter, at room temperature
75g muscovado sugar
40g raw caster sugar
1 egg yolk
½ cup flour
120g rolled oats
⅛ tsp baking powder
pinch of baking soda
½ tsp kosher salt

Assembly and filling
180g muscovado sugar, plus 1 tbsp for the base
1 tsp kosher salt, plus ¼ tsp for the base
280g butter, melted – 55g for the base, the rest for the filling
300g raw caster sugar
20g milk powder
24g corn powder
¾ cup double cream
½ tsp vanilla extract
8 egg yolks, separated with military precision
icing sugar, for dusting

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Kick things off by working on the oat cookie. Cream the butter and sugars using the paddle attachment on a stand-mixer on medium-high for 3 minutes or so, or until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides and add the egg, before increasing speed and beat for a further couple of minutes.

Add the remaining ingredients and using the paddle, mix by hand until moist enough to return to the mixer to beat on low until just combined.

Dollop the mixture onto a lined baking sheet and flatten into a 1cm thick splat. Transfer to the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until caramelised, puffed and firmly set. Allow to cool completely.

When you’re ready to get to work on the final product, preheat the oven to 180°C.

Place the cookie in a food processor with a tablespoon of muscovado sugar and ¼ tsp of salt, and blitz until it is the consistency of wet sand. Add 55g of melted butter and blitz until it comes together as a ball. Transfer the ball into a pie dish and firmly pack to cover the edges in an even thickness.

To make the filling, combine the remaining sugars, with the milk powder, corn powder, and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and mix on low speed until evenly blended. Still going, add the remaining butter and mix for 3 minutes or until all the ingredients are moist. Add the double cream and vanilla and continuing mixing for 3 minutes, or until completely combined. Scrape down the side and add the egg yolks, mixing on low speed until it is glossy and combined.

Pour the filling into the pie dish and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown but still jiggly.

Open the oven door and reduce the oven temperature to 160°C and close the door once it has cooled to that temperature. Cook for a further ten minutes, or until firming around the edge but jiggly in the centre.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before covering in cling and transferring to the freezer to set. Remove to defrost a couple of hours before you’re ready to serve.

When you’re ready for your mind to be blown, dust with icing sugar, grab a spoon and devour. Greedily. Thankful that we exist at the same time that Milk Bar does.

 

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Grantbola

Baking, Breakfast, Vegetarian

Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some Hollywood. I mean, my relationships with the A-list of it inspired this patch of cyberspace … but sometimes it is nice just to hang out with a fellow Australian. And by that, Kiwi we adopted as our own after they became a success.

I first met Granty while working together on Blue Heelers in the ‘90s. You see, I created and wrote for the show, inspired by my experiences in the town of Mt Thomas in the ‘80s. Crime was so rife – 99% of them committed by me – that I knew it would make Aussie TV gold, and a legend was born.

But back to Grant. Grant walked in to audition and I instantly knew that he was the Wayne I had dreamed about and the rest, as I oft say, is history.

Grant was so grateful to me for giving him his big break that he pledged undying allegiance to me and begged me to guide his career. Given he worked on True Blood with Anna and Al, Ugly Betty with Alan Dale, I think you’d agree that my influence truly helped.

No shade to his talent though, obvi.

It was such a delight to hang out together, laugh about the good ol’ days with Sacky, McCune and Johnny Woods, reflect on the tragedy that was the latter seasons of True Blood – minus Skarsy’s peen shot – and devour some nourishing Grantbola for the day ahead.

 

 

Did I not mention we’re both morning people and work out together? We’re sickeningly cute bestos. Inspired by Sarah Wilson’s coconut-nut granola but made infinitely better thanks to the inclusion of fruits and other things you can’t eat after quitting sugar, this is the only granola you want in your life.

Enjoy!

 

 

Grantbola
Serves: 12-ish. Maybe? A soft maybe. I’m not sure, let’s call a shit-tonne and be done.

Ingredients
¼ cup coconut oil
3 cups coconut flakes
½ cup almonds, roughly chopped
½ cup cashews, roughly chopped
½ cup walnuts, roughly chopped
½ cup macadamias, roughly chopped
2 cups rolled oats
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
½ cup apple puree
½ cup craisins

Method
Preheat oven to 120°C.

Combine everything but the craisins in a large bowl until everything is coated and combined.

Spread across two lined baking sheets and cook for 10 minutes, toss, and cook for a further 10 or so, or until golden. Remove, toss through the craisins and allow to cool completely.

Store in an airtight container for up to two weeks, devouring daily with yoghurt, fresh berries and, if you want to upset Sarah further, some Mahersharaspberry Coulis.

 

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