Grab the footy franks and the Tia Maria, Sharon love – we’ve got something to celebrate! Yes, Ru and Michelle have made their way back down under to witness another season of ratchet delights – Ru’s words, not mine – alongside the franchise’s best judge Rhys.

And you just know I was on hand to help keep the dolls happy post-boot, despite being absolutely up to pussy’s bow with recaps and commiserations all around the globe.

You know why? You know why, Kim? Not because I’m a bitch, but because I have a feeling in my waters this season is going to be a winner! Or at the very least, noice, different and unusual.

Who will go from a great hunk of spunk to a total hornbag, worthy of the Down Under crown? And who will stumble at the first hurdle and become the first sheila to sashay away? Likely screaming for a cardonnay and a statue of baby cheeses.

Or, you know, whatever I whip up for them next week.

📷: Stan/TVNZ.


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