Meryl Streeped Fruits

Condiment, Dessert, Sauce, Side, Snack

The festive season is right around the corner and more importantly, our festive spectacular commences on Monday however being festive as fuck, we just knew that we had to catch up with our girl Meryl before we get blackout drunk and put on 50kgs.

For anyone desperate to claim fame for themselves by befriending and swindling celebrities (like how we originally started, now we’re indifferent to our fame/infamy), Meryl is your white whale; thrice awarded by The Academy, one time love interest to Rick Springfield and Allison Janney and lucky enough to have starred opposite the incomparable Roseanne Barr.

Plus she is so talented, that you couldn’t even tell that she was in excruciating pain listening to Pierce screech in Mamma Mia!

Meryl is a global treasure and the greatest thing to happen to the thespian community ever (well until my film debut in the film adaptation of my Tony Award winning Little Whorephan Andy: The Musical) and we are so honoured to be able to call her our friend.

We first met Meryl in rehab while she was researching her role in Postcards from the Edge – thanks to our advice, Mez was lucky enough to earn her ninth Academy Award nomination and our relationship was cemented by her eternal thanks. She didn’t realise it at the time but we had also inspired our girl Carrie to write Postcards from the Edge while in rehab together, giving us unparalleled perspective on the characters, as they were based on our numerous personalities.

Throughout the years, Meryl has stood by us; supporting us when we were in and out of jail/rehab/anger management, helping connect us with countless friends to help get our stories on the silver screen and letting us hang with her hundreds of awards, despite the fact we generally put them on eBay.

We haven’t seen Meryl in about a year due to the post traumatic stress disorder we got from watching the sixteen hour song that opened her rare flop, Into the Woods. (Seriously though, just get in the fucking woods and stop running your mouths). But Christmas is the time for forgiving and forgetting, and we are so glad Meryl was willing to drop by and help us with this year’s edible gift Meryl Streeped Fruits … and to move past the trauma.


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Meryl is so down to earth and is a live wire, meaning her namesake needed to be something boozy, fun, earthy and little bit wild.

Trust us, this fits the bill – enjoy!


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Meryl Streeped Fruits
Makes: Enough to fill a 500ml jar.

250g mixed dried fruit, I went with cherries, craisins, currants and raisins
250ml Grand Marnier, plus an extra 100ml

Sterilise your jar/s – the dishwasher is probably your easiest route.

Once they have cooled, place the fruit in the jar and top with the 250ml of Grand Marnier. Seal the jars tightly and place in a cool dark place to steep for about four-five days.

The fruit, like me, will gobble up most of the booze so top it up with the extra Grand Marnier if needed after this time.

Then you’re free to go all Oprah and your loved ones. YOU get a jar! YOU get a jar! YOU get a jar!


Oh and if your filling multiple smaller jars, just spread your fruit and booze evenly amongst the jars. Yes, it is obvious and I’m sure you could figure that out – but what if you couldn’t?


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)


Lets just get it out of the way straight up – Nicole Kidman is still one of our nemeses (and just the worst) and Grace of Monaco is truly horrific. The Weinstein movie that became a Lifetime movie, not the woman; she was a champ (and a close friend).

Despite our catch up with Simon Baker-he-will-always-be-Denny-to-us being based on a horror, our time with him was anything but.

We first met Simon on the set of the greatest Australian drama of all time, E Street, where we were working as Toni Pearen’s mirror. Yes, her mirror – she paid us to describe how she looked and by that, to tell her that she looked ok.

Obviously seeing we were in a horrid situation, Simon took us under his wings (sadly and shockingly, not under the covers though) and hired us as his bodyguards slash entourage (the show is actually based on us, not Marky Blah-k) before our fortunes changed after meeting Zsa Zsa in priz. Once he joined us in L.A. we were able to payback his kindness and got him his first film role in L.A. Confidential (I was having a torrid affair with Spacey at the time).

Not long after he married his wife Bec and became stuck tolerating Ms. Kidman with us. As such, we like to catch-up every couple of months to trash talk and reminisce about the good old (pre-Kidman) days.

As I said, Grace of Monaco is one of her worst but thankfully our Simon Potato Baker (Denny) is one of our best.


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Rich, creamy, cheesey with a kick of garlic and (a crap-load of) bacon. Need I say more? Serve with a steak or whatever piece of meat you like or as we prefer, in the dish with a large spoon each.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.


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Simon Potato Baker (Denny)
Serves: 4 (dependent on the size of the dish used).

Ingredients (All quantities depend on the size of the dish)
4-6 (ish) large potatoes
6 rashers shortcut bacon, dependent on how much you love bacon
1-2 tablespoons crushed garlic
1 cup of grated cheddar
300ml cream
salt and pepper, to season

Pre-heat oven to 160 C.

Peel and wash all potatoes and slice into just under ½cm slices. Cut bacon into a small dice.

Place a layer of potatoes over the base of your dish. Sprinkle with some diced bacon, crushed garlic and grated cheese, to taste.

Repeat until all the ingredients have been used up slash you have almost filled the dish, finishing with a layer of potatoes.

Once done, pour cream over the the potatoes until it is ½ to ¾ of the way up the dish. Season and top with a generous layer of cheese.

Bake in the oven for 30 minutes to 1 hour, or until potato is tender and the bake is browned on the top.

He’s A Sexy Babymaker

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I’ve said it once and I will likely say it a thousand times, mutual hatred is the ultimate relationship builder! None more so than when you are united by the hate of one Ms. Nicky Kidman (you know what you did Nicole).

While we made some poor choices and befriended her on the set of BMX Bandits, poor Simon Baker Denny married into a friendship with her and has had to tolerate her ways ever since.

Simon is dropping by to hate-watch Grace of Monaco with us and requested a small snack, that is warming and delicious. Super specific but we love him (even despite this look), what should we make?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: Unknown.