Turkey Roulade McLanahan

Main, Poultry, Thankgiving for being a friend

After spending the last couple of days in ‘87 catching up with Bea and Estelle, I wasn’t sure if I should hang around for my date with Rue or go visit her in ‘05 when she was appearing in Wicked. Despite the fact it would likely have lead me to landing a part in the hit musical – and probs my first Tony – I decided to stick with the past.

Mainly to avoid a feud due to me exiting the time period without a word. Though it’s not like it would have lasted long, given how close we were.

I first met Rue on the set of Maude in the ‘70s. I, of course, was there as part of Bea’s entourage but I was fast taken by the delightful Eddi-Rue. We were both thrice divorced by the time we met and it was just such a comfort to have someone to talk to that had been through the same thing.

Rue always felt like the glue that held the girls together, given her warm, loving nature and I am so thankful to be able to experience it firsthand once more.

“My sweet darlin’ Ben, I do say, how I’ve missed you!”

I ran into her arms and held back my tears for her unexpected death in 2010.

“Now my sweet boy. Bea and Stell told me I’m in for a real treat for dinner … like how the men feel when going on a date with that Blanche!”

We laughed long and hard well into the night, talking about all the things we were thankful for – divorce being a big one for us three-timers – before sitting down to a big ol’ orgy of meat in the form of my Turkey Roulade McLanahan.

 

 

Given I was cooking in someone else’s kitchen … in the ‘80s, I couldn’t go around whipping up a big roast. That of course doesn’t take away from the fact this is a show stopper. The crispy pancetta crust keeps the turkey nice and moist. Particularly when you stuff it full of more meat and a good whack of herbs.

Enjoy!

 

 

Turkey Roulade McLanahan
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 small bunch of sage, roughly chopped
4 pork sausages, casings removed
1 carrot, grated
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp grated parmesan cheese
¼ cup craisins
a small handful of spinach, roughly chopped
freshly grated pepper
800g turkey breast fillets, flatten to 2cm thick with a mallet or rolling pin
200g thinly sliced pancetta

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Combine the sage, sausage, carrot, garlic, parmesan, craisins and spinach in a bowl with a good whack of pepper.

Arrange the pancetta on a sheet of baking paper, slightly overlapping. Line the flattened breasts along one of the long edges, pressing closely or overlapping to form a clean piece of meat. Form the stuffing into a long sausage and place it along the centre of the meat. Using the baking paper as a guide, tightly roll the turkey over to form a long roll, with the pancetta sealing the turkey meat. Tie with a couple of pieces of kitchen twine to secure, transfer to a lined baking sheet and bake for 45 minutes, or until crisp on the outside and beautifully cooked on the inside.

Allow to stand for five minutes or so before carving, serving and, most importantly, devouring.

 

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BeaBQ Arthur Corn Salad

Salad, Side, Snack, Thankgiving for being a friend

While The Golden Girls were one of the best sitcom ensembles ever assembled, the heart and soul of the show was my dear friend and comedy icon Bea Arthur. At the very least, she was the de facto lead given she was what brought Sophia into the mix.

Though speaking of Soph, she was the soul … and so were Rose and Blanche. Fuck.

In any event, my dear friend Bea is the first girl I’m checking in on … given the controversial meeting we had last time I ventured back in time. I mean, sure, she doesn’t know it since that date occurs in ‘89 and I’ve opted to visit during Thanksgiving ‘87. But I know, and guilt is a pretty big motivator.

Bea was thrilled to see me as I pulled up to the studio in the delorean.

“Quick Ben, quick. Fucking get out of here – we don’t need Betty to spot us and want to third wheel our friendship.”

“I’m fucking trying Bea, I’m  driving as fast as I fucking can,” I screamed, not wanting to hurt my friend Bet, or upset Bea by being sympathetic.

I sped through the Hills, down past Carney’s on sunset and eventually landed at her home in Brentwood – which will eventually become a Golden Girls museum, depending on how her will turns out following my next journey back in time – to reconnect, discuss a potential sequel to Mame – which you all know, does NOT eventuate – and devour a festively appropriate BeaBQ Arthur Corn Salad.

 

 

Fresh and zingy are not words that are oft thrown around when it comes to discussing dinner on turkey day. Though I can promise, it is more than worth it. The fresh, charred corn works perfectly with the zing of the tomato and lime, and the sweet delight that is basil.

Praise be … I mean, give thanks. Aka enjoy!

 

 

BeaBQ Arthur Corn Salad
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
6 corn cobs, de-husked and scorched over the flame of a stove
olive oil
1 small red onion, thinly sliced
½ red capsicum, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
a small handful of basil leaves, roughly chopped
a few sprigs of thyme, leaves removed and roughly chopped
1 lime, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine everything in a bowl.

Toss.

Devour.

 

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Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies

Main, Party Food, Snack

Time travel is a many splendored thing, despite what The Butterfly Effect would have you believe. I mean, it isn’t all hover boards and future lotto numbers (although that reminds me…), but getting to spend time with dearly departed friends and experiencing major historical events (we were on the Titanic and accidentally caused the Captain to hit the iceberg) and even experienced Jurassic World when the world was in the actual Jurassic period.

It is fucking ace.

Thankfully we didn’t venture quite so far back this time (we weren’t wanting to be present for Stockard Channing’s birth or anything), dropping in to the late 80s to the set of The Golden Girls to discuss the importance of our placement on Bea Arthur’s will.

We have been dropping in on The Golden Girls for the best part of a decade now to experience the joys of the show first hand … and to try and earn Guest-Star Emmy’s by recasting ourselves into the episodes (it is actually Ben playing the Elvis impersonator played by Quentin Tarantino).

While at first dear Bea wasn’t thrilled to hear our visit had an ulterior motive, when we laid out our plans for the museum she was moved to tears by our love, adoration and the promise to ban Betty White (we love you Bets, but you know we need this museum to work for our grand plans to take off…).

Oh and obviously the Mini Beaf Arthur and Mushroom Pies didn’t hurt the deal!

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_1

 

There is nothing better than a dirty street pie, except of course a dirty home-made pie. By no stretch of the imagination is this meal dignified, but to me a good pie will never be dignified; chunks of veggies and meat bathed in rich gravy with a nice whack of pepper … to the extent that when I make this it is practically a pepper steak pie.

Obviously drown in tommy sauce for final, glorious impact!

Enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

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Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_2

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies
Makes: 18.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 brown onion, halved, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
500g lean beef mince
large handful mushrooms, sliced
1 carrot, peeled, coarsely grated
1 stalk of celery, coarsely grated
1 cup beef stock
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 sheets shortcrust pastry, just thawed
2 sheets ready-rolled puff pastry, just thawed
salt and pepper, to taste
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Heat oil in a medium frying pan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes or until onion softens. Add the mince and cook, stirring / breaking up any lumps with a spoon, for 5 minutes or until browned. Add the carrot, celery and mushrooms and stir until well combined.

Add flour and tomato paste to mince mixture and cook, stirring, for a minute. Pour in beef stock and cook, again stirring, until sauce thickens slightly. Remove from heat. Cover and set aside for 30 minutes to cool.

Preheat oven to 180°C. Cut the shortcrust pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Line eighteen muffin pans with the shortcrust pastry squares. Spoon mince mixture among pastry cases.

Cut puff pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Top each pie with a pastry square, scrunching any excess around the edge for decoration. Brush tops with egg.

Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and set aside in the pans for 5 minutes to cool. Serve pies with tommy sauce.