I am sick with nerves.
We have been feuding with Tony Bennett for the past four years after he chose to duet on The Lady is a Tramp with Lady Gaga over us – I mean, who is trampier than us?!
After purchasing their album last year to create a smear campaign / art installation, we realised that their collaboration wasn’t as horrid as we first thought and started to look for a way to mend our six-decade friendship.
It has taken eight months but we finally worked up the courage to apologise and Tony is graciously dropping by to reconnect. What says sorry for being offended you took up with that charlatan who may not be as bad as we first thought?
Picture source: Greg Allen / Invision / AP.