I had two bae-bies in the ‘00s. One was Josh Jackson, the other was Van Der Beek.

It caused a set war or 44. But I couldn’t decide, you know? Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging. I thought to God my calling my calling here … was to start the greatest throuple of all time.

Oh would I son, grow to know two lovers?

The answer, obviously, was yes but it ended when the Creek did. Thankfully I remained close with both boys, Beek in particular.

I haven’t seen him since the demise of Bitch in Apartment 23, so gave him a call over the weekend and said – obviously – I don’t want to wait, for our lives to be over, I want to catch-up now. What will it be?

I don’t want to wait, for our lives to be over. Will it be yes or will i be, salty?

Thankfully for him, his career and our friendship, he said yes. What do I make to avoid him ugly crying?

Or better yet, what do I make that brings him so much joy that he ugly cries … and I film it, it goes viral and I live off the ad revenue like the Charlie bit me family?

Image source: Still from Dawson’s Creek.

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