Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all  invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.

The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.

The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.

Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.

After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.

Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.

Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.

Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.

Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.

After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?

Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.

Enjoy!

Ivanna Drink
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim
¾ cup frozen pitted cherries
½ cup bourbon
⅓ cup fresh lime juice
2 tbsp simple syrup
soda water, to top up

Method
Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.

Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink. 

Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.


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