Australian

What’s in a nickname aka the saga of Sugar Tits

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We disassociated ourselves from our friend Mel during his tumultuous years. It wasn’t the kindest thing to do, but with our criminal past in Hollywood, we felt it best to stay away from bad influences when we were trying to piece our lives back together.

Plus, Sugar Tits is his pet name for us and using it on someone else is abhorrent…and a kick to our self-esteem.

Mel has worked hard to pull himself back up and we have a killer idea for a Bird on a Wire sequel, so thought we should catch-up and see if we can give him a hand getting his career back on track.

What says we would be perfect to play the twin children of you and Goldie in future Academy Award winning, Bird on a Wire 2: Rise of the Flock?

Picture source: Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP.

All Our Friends Are Coming to Brisbane

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

For two antisocial people, our phones sure do seem to ring off the hook!

Benjamin Law gave us a call over the weekend to drop by for lunch while he is in town seeing family…or something. We are both antisocial and have terrible attention spans.

Ben and I first met Benjamin (who for the sake of confusion we will refer to as Ben) at different times, but because of the same series of events. You see, Ben sees Ben as a literary hero and developed the belief that by laying his head where Ben lays his head, he would absorb some greatness.

Ben came home from work one day to find Ben in his bed, madly rubbing his head into his pillow chanting “make me write goooo-ooood” like he was our close friend Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball.

(Side note: It didn’t work, clearly).

Ben being kind, generous and filled with pity called the first unlucky person in Ben’s phone (me), instead of alerting the police.

What says thanks for not alerting the police to our criminal attempts to absorb your greatness and politely returning all of our calls when Ben wanted to “catch-up” until he (evidently) Stockholm syndrome-d you into friendship?

Picture source: @mrbenjaminlaw/Twitter.