In amongst all the frivolity and grandeur that marking the torturous death of a religious figure brings upon us, Ben and I decided that for the good of humanity, and in line with our peyote induced visions, we would honour someone who, by divine intervention or other means, miraculously keeps on kicking.

Yes, Keith Richards is the perfect candidate for step four of our Meggstravaganza ritual.

A pal of ours since our days in the boys soprano trio (aka a barbershop quartet minus one) at Dartford Tech, Keith Richards was undeniably the talentless hack of the group. Ben and I had no choice but to force him out of the prestigious trio and lo and behold he landed directly in the arms of Mick Jagger.

Our relationship with Keith was rocky in the years that passed from the glory quartet-minus-one days. We comforted him after his survivor-esque fall from a coconut tree. We connected over the death of his father, and encouraged him to find comfort in the snorting of his ashes. Yet, he never truly forgave us for ruining the happiest days of his life at Dartford.

How is he still alive? In order to find out the secret to his longevity and give him the opportunity to piggyback off our resurgent fame and Meg’s soon-to-occur-comeback, we decided to invite Keith over for a hearty and nourishing, eggy dinner.

Our choice of meal was, like its namesake, a miracle of modern science – the Impossible Quiche Richards.

Impossible Quiche Richards
Serves: 6

Ingredients

6 eggs
300ml cream
½ cup self raising flour
¼ cup finely chopped chives
400g butternut pumpkin, diced into 1cm cubes
125g smoked ham, roughly chopped
½ cup green peas
1 ½  cups grated cheddar, divided

Method

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius. Line a large baking tray with greased baking paper and roast diced pumpkin for 20 minutes or until tender and golden.

Whisk together eggs, cream, flour and one cup cheese and season to taste. In the bottom of a large quiche dish, scatter half the pumpkin, ham and peas. Pour over half of egg mixture and repeat with remaining dry ingredients and remaining egg mixture. Top with cheese.

Bake for 35-40 minutes until set and golden.