Lord of the dance

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Picture it, Eurovision, Ireland, 1994.

After years spent lording the dance world with Toni Basil, Nigel & BonBon *spoiler alert* Lythgoe, Candis Cayne,  and Ms. Abdul, I got wind that the ‘94 Eurovision was looking to host a dance break during the show.

Assuming – as a past Eurovision contestant/songwriter – that I would get the job, I travelled over and was shocked to find Michael Flatley on the floor in my place.

Obviously I flew into a jealous rage, obviously I tried to call in a bomb threat (the police knew I was a serial pest and ignored the obviously fake calls) to stop the performance and obviously I feuded with Flatley for over two decades.

But then I heard that he was having bone issues last year and reached out to make amends, now that he wasn’t a threat to my dance dynasty.

What says sorry for the years of bitterness I’ve thrown your way?

Picture source: AP Photo / Henny Ray Abrams, File.


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