Dessert

Halle Blueberry Waffles

Breakfast, Dessert

Some people are very, very forgiving.

Very forgiving.

I mean, you can’t blame the teens who threw themselves in front of your car between stints in rehab and their various arrests (fun fact, we also inspired the actual bling ring kids) but to befriend the people who caused you so much trauma, stress and a PR nightmare takes a special kind of person.

Halle dropped over for breakfast yesterday; we think she may be scared to be around us at any event that could involve alcohol, which is fair enough but realistically when is alcohol not involved? Little did she know, we had accidentally spiked the batch of Halle Blueberry Waffles when we got into a fight and knocked over the last glass of our breakfast wine.

 

Halle BlueBerry Waffles 1

 

Over brunch, we caught up on how much our lives had changed for the better since we first connected, the Oscars (she feels snubbed for not getting a nom for Catwoman) and her idea for a potential reboot of The Flintstones, set in the future (that we kindly pretended was great and not at all like The Jetsons).

Thankfully the fresh, fluffy waffles went down better than her ideas with the exploding jewels of blueberry adding some fun to the occasion. We served them with some whipped cream, cinnamon and maple syrup, however they would work just as well with some butter and maple.

Enjoy!

 

Halle BlueBerry Waffles 2

 

Halle Blueberry Waffles
Serves 4-6, greed dependant

Ingredients
2 ¼ cups spelt flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
¼  teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
¾  cup soda water
¼  cup oil
1 cup blueberries
butter, for greasing
cream, butter, cinnamon and/or maple syrup to serve

Method
Preheat your waffle iron.

Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl, then whisk in all wet ingredients until smooth. Fold through blueberries.

Melt butter into waffle iron to grease. Scoop the batter into the waffle iron and close. Cook for 2-5 minutes, then repeat.

Lisa Vanderpumpkin Pie

Dessert

Thanksgiving is such an appropriate time to catch up with Lisa as without her, Annelie and I would already have a Catch Me If You Can/Bonnie and Clyde-esque Lifetime TV movie made about us.

We aren’t proud of our scamming days or that we lied to Lisa about it while living in her mansion, but we are thankful that Lisa is kind enough to give us a second chance (amirite Brandi)?

Lisa and Giggy pulled up in the Bentley yesterday afternoon for a spot of tea and unlike most of the tea parties she goes to in Beverly Hills, this one didn’t end up in a brawl.

We sat down to a seasonally appropriate Lisa Vanderpumpkin Pie and talked about our resurgent fame, her relationship with Kyle and why we are so thankful that we have each other in our lives.

 

Lisa Vanderpumpkin Pie

 

The filling was all at once delicate and robust with a hint of spice on a glitzed up version of Jamie Oliver’s shortcrust pastry, with maple and pecan.

Lisa quoted her friend and party planner, Kevin Lee, to describe the pie saying it was, “Better than Beverly Hills darling, shi shi shi.”

 

Lisa Vanderpumpkin Pie 2

 

Lisa Vanderpumpkin Pie
Serves 12 people…or the three of us

Ingredients
Pastry
250g plain flour, plus more for dusting
50g icing sugar
125g unsalted butter, cubed
1 egg, beaten
1 tbsp maple syrup
50g pecans, crushed/bltized/pulverised etc.

Filling
½ butternut pumpkin, deseeded and diced (roughly 500g pumpkin)
500ml milk
200g raw caster sugar
1 vanilla pod, halved and deseeded
¼ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp cinnamon
2 eggs

Method
Pastry
Sieve flour and icing sugar into a large bowl. Using hands, work the butter into the flour and sugar until the mixture resembles wet sand. Mix through maple and pecan, add eggs and work together until it forms a ball. If the dough seems too wet, add more flour until it is at the desired consistency. Don’t overwork the flour otherwise it won’t be short, as the name demands.

Pat dough-ball into a disc, wrap in cling-wrap and place in the fridge to rest for 30 minutes.

Dust a surface and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 5mm thick. Roll the pastry over the rolling pin, then unroll it into a 25cm loose-bottom tart tin (I’d go non-stick but I am crazy lazy) and push it into the sides.

Trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork, cover with cling-wrap and place in the freezer to set for 30-ish minutes.

Pre-heat oven to 180C.

Filling
Place pumpkin, milk, sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla pod and seeds into a medium saucepan, over medium heat. Keep stirring until it comes to the boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes stirring occasionally. Cook for a further 15 minutes, or until pumpkin is soft/tender/flaccid.

Remove from heat, discard the pod and blitz with a stick blender until smooth. Leave aside to cool with the lid on.

Baking
While pumpkin mixture is cooling, remove pastry from freezer and line with baking paper and blind bake with baking weights/beans/rice for 10 minutes. Remove from oven, remove baking paper and weights and return to oven for further 10 minutes.

Reduce heat to 160C.

Beat the eggs for the filling (you thought we forgot, right?) and whisk through the cooled pumpkin mixture. Pour the mixture into the pastry case and bake for the 30 minutes or until it is set with a slight wobble.

Leave to cool and then serve with a sprinkle of icing sugar and fresh vanilla ice cream.

Reconnecting with Éclair Danes

Dessert

It is amazing what a good creme pâtissière will do for a bad relationship.

As I mentioned earlier, we have known Claire for some time after we were cast to play her BFFs in Romeo + Juliet. Life started to imitate art and Baz got jealous that his leading lady/young ingénue was spending all of her time with the bit players, rather than sipping tea in the trailers with the stars.

We have had our issues with Claire over the years (I don’t want to bring it up again, but ask Mary-Louise Parker), but I will always say how humble she is with those she connects with in such a deep way.

We decided that following the aforementioned ugliness of the last decade, we should make something sweet and inviting (like Billy Crudup wa…sorry, we’ve moved on) to put Claire at ease in the Bitchin’ Kitchen.

We also thought a coffee date was most appropriate to commence rebuilding our friendship, as she could bail quickly if it turned to crap.

Thankfully one batch of Éclair Danes were enough to get us back on track and at the end of our date our hearts were as light and fluffy as the pastry and the love between us restored.

 

Claire Danes

 
Our dear friend Martha Stewart gave us a great tip when baking éclairs (we joke it is one of her prison rules), run a fork down the top to help them raise evenly and look perfect.

We obviously listened (not just because we are scared to disobey Marth) because you can’t use misshapen pastries to mend fences.

 

Claire Danes 2

 

Éclair Danes
Ingredients
Choux Pastry
75g butter, chopped
¾ cup (180ml) water
¾ cup (110g) plain flour
pinch salt
4 eggs

Crème Pâtissière
750g milk
Seeds scraped from ½ vanilla bean (you can make vanilla sugar with the other half)
190g egg yolks
190g caster sugar
75g cornflour
75g unsalted butter, chopped and softened slightly

Chocolate Glaze
125g dark chocolate, chopped
40g butter, chopped, extra

Method
Choux Pastry
Preheat the oven to very hot (240°C). Combine the butter and water in a medium saucepan and cook, stirring occasionally, until the butter is melted. Bring to the boil — do not let the water boil for longer than necessary while melting the butter as it will evaporate and affect the balance of ingredients. Immediately add the sifted flour and salt — all at once. Stir vigorously with a wooden spoon over medium heat until the mixture leaves the side of the pan and forms a smooth ball.

Transfer mixture to small bowl of an electric mixer. Add three of the eggs, one at a time, beating on low-speed until combined. Lightly beat remaining egg and add enough to form a thick, glossy dough.

Using a piping bag with a 1.5cm plain tube, pipe 11cm lengths of pastry, 3cm apart, on greased oven trays; cut ends neatly with wet knife. Bake in very hot oven for about 10 minutes or until pastry has tripled in size. Reduce temperature to moderate (180°C), bake for 20 minutes or until pastry is lightly browned and crisp.

Cut the éclairs in half, remove any soft centre, then return to the oven for about 5 minutes to dry out. Cool the éclairs on a wire rack.

Crème Pâtissière
Heat the milk and vanilla seeds in a medium saucepan over medium heat until almost boiling. Remove from heat.

In a bowl, whisk the yolks, sugar and cornflour until thick and pale. Gradually whisk in the hot milk.

Return the mixture to the pan and whisk continuously over medium heat until the custard comes to the boil. Boil for 1 minute.

Transfer to a bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing it onto the surface to prevent a skin forming and cool until 50°C, then whisk in butter until smooth

Cover with plastic wrap as before and refrigerate to cool completely. Whisk prior to use.

Chocolate Glaze (and assembly)
Melt the chocolate and butter in a small bowl over a pan of just simmering water.

Spread the top half of each éclair with chocolate mixture, allow to set. Just before serving, spoon custard cream filling into bases and replace chocolate tops.