Previously on Survivor dear, sweet #gastrointestinaldistress sufferer / hunger striker Pete quit the game, saving an ailing Aganoa from themselves. Then after a back and forth of which Aganoa would be the next to go, they won immunity and escaped the double tribal, tribal swap which sent Conner to Vavau and Nick to Saanapu with very hurt feelings.
Thankfully they were each able to throw someone under the bus with them and taking Sam and Tegan respectively.
Yep – believe the hype, this was one of the biggest episodes of Survivor I’ve ever seen. The worst part is I was so blackout drunk trying to woo the crew, that I completely forgot it was a non-elimination ep and tried to madly recap the episode for no reason.
Anyway, we opened back back at Vavau and Saanapu where the swap victims acclimatised to their new tribes. While I understand the bitterness, the other option was getting booted … so if it was me (Jon Jon, call me for 2017), i’d just be happy to get another chance rather than going home.
I mean, a second chance changed a legacy for Wentworth!
Meanwhile back with the former reigning losers Aganoa, the clouds rolled in ominously but they woke up on day 13 with triumphant music, confusing the crap outta me. Then I saw Lee, thanked God for Father’s Day (#daddy) and understood the creative choice.
Ok Lee, you’re wearing me down and will soon join my all female dream finale, OK?
Back on Vavau the shade was heavy and that is ignoring the clouds, Jennah-Louise and Craig were thrilled to be free of Nick and his tricks. While poor Sam was feeling screwed, rightfully but not in the right way, you know?
Over on his former home, Flick struggled to enunciate the word “new” before the English teacher nick arrived to spew some understandable vitriol and use some biblical references.
Do not make me Tyra you Nick. No.
Then Brooke happening and worked her way back into my heart and Nick out of Tegan’s. Or vice versa, to be honest there are a lot of brunette females and I’m struggling to tell them apart between lecherous glances at the men.
After Nick found a crack and Barry had a meaningful confessional, Jon Jon returned to the screen for a classic immunity challenge building rods and penetrating things before getting the fire going. BRING ON SMUTTY PROBST PUNS!
Saanapu first on their pole. Vavau now working their pole.
Hello heaven, I live here.
After having a good crack at it, stretching it further and further Vavau and Sannapu’s long sticks won out in penetrating the wall before and Saanapu were able to secure immunity after getting their wood out.
Then Aganoa had an amazing come from behind win – seriously this challenge wrote itself – sending Vavau to their first legit tribal council.
They returned back to camp and immediately got back to work scrambling amongst old tribal lines, with Kate leading the charge to get some screen time while acting as the runner between old Saanapu and OG Vavau.
Then Conner happened and Barry and Craig found their way on the block before a blistering tribal council where Barry announced his arrival to the game, Kate ominously announced she had made her way into the majority and Barry found his way to loser lodge as the fifth boot as soon as he started to play.
Obviously I knew Baz from my rugby days where we played on the field together until my lewd acts forced me to play solely off field. Thankfully Baz never held that against and took me under his wing – which spoiler alert, is a lot nicer than being under Kate’s.
The least I could do, was whip him up a batch of my Bluebarry Lea Muffins to dull the pain of his loss.
Sweet, tart and hot when fresh, these fluffy delights are everything that Baz loved about me back in the day. Enjoy!
Who will join us tomorrow?
Bluebarry Lea Muffins
Makes: 12 small, 6 Texan.
75g unsalted butter,
200g plain flour
½ tsp bicarb of soda
2 tsp baking powder
75g caster sugar
pinch of salt
1 large egg
zest of one lemon
Preheat oven to 180C and line a 12 hole muffin tray with cases.
Melt the butter in the microwave and set aside to cool.
Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk together the buttermilk, egg, zest and melted butter in another.
Using a wooden spoon, add the wet ingredients to the dry and lightly together until just combined. Like me, the mixture fucking hates to be overworked.
Fold in the blueberries, with minimal effort and spoon the mixture amongst the muffin cases.
Chuck them in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or golden, firm and standing tall.
Obvs penetrate them with a skewer to see if it comes out clean. Just let that wording marinate a little. Beautiful, no?