After a busy week focusing on the ritual to rebirth Meg Ryan’s career, I started to crave a religious experience and since I’ve been blacklisted from six niche religions I felt the smartest move would be to reach out to my dear friend, the Vicar of Dibley herself – Dawn French.

Obviously I met Frenchie in the 70s while attending the Central School of Speech and Drama with Jenny Saunds, obviously we became the best of friends (they are part of my European best friend trio – the British equivalent of Amy and Teens), obviously I inspired numerous of the characters they created on French & Saunders and obviously they have stood by during my countless scandals.

It has been a few years since last catching up with Frenchie. You see, Dawn had tried to assist me in rigging Australia’s Got Talent but when I realised that I actually had no talent that could transfer to TV, I orchestrated the show’s second axing. Feeling awkward, I’ve kept a low profile with Dawn, JIC she holds it against me.

Given some of the other things she has forgiven though, I doubt she will.

What says sorry I got AGT axed for a year resulting in you spending time with Timomatic for no real reason?

Also, what is a Timomatic?

Picture source: BBC.

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