Tony Kale Chips

Emmy Gold, Side, Snack

Now I know it runs the risk of stacking the odds-discussion and is in flagrant disregard of my unspoken Oscar Gold rules, but I’m a man that likes to live on the edge so opted by opening my Emmy Gold celebrations with my dear friend, the current Emmy holder and repeat nominee (for the past four years) Tony Hale.

Sure we aren’t going to be able to run the Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series odds without a shit tonne of bias but it should be only a two horse race anyway – Tone and Tituss, for those playing along at home – so I don’t even care, you know?

I’ve known Tone for fifteen years after meeting on the set of Dawson’s Creek when he guested as a doctor. I was their medical advisor at the time after defrauding my way through Harvard Med and bonded with Tone after he could clearly tell I wasn’t a doctor. Using the old adage of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, I befriended him into keeping my secret and cemented it with a role in the best episode of SAtC, The Real Me.

Thanks for getting me out of that pickle, Mar-Cho!

We haven’t been able to catch-up much in the last few years, what with him busy filming Veep and me hustling – in all meanings of the word.

Tone is obviously starting to get nervous for the big night, going for his third gong however he is continuing to spout off the line I hate most, I’m just happy to be nominated – although I’m terrified to think that he may actually mean it!

“It won’t happen, but do you want me to kill Ty Burrell if he beats you?”

“No Ben, I don’t mind. He is a great (SIC) actor and truly, it is just an honour to be nominated.”

“But Veep is a far better show than Modern Family and I’m sick of it (winning awards, I’ll keep watching)! What about Matt? Want me to mess him up a bit if he joins the Veep winners?”

“No – I love Matt, he deserves to win … “

“He doesn’t.”

“He does and it is an honour to be nominated against him.”

As you can see, conversation started to go round in circles with him praising his fellow nominees – Tituss being the only warranted praise – while I desperately tried to finalise my bet with my bookie / see if his plus one was available.

While he stupidly elected to take his beautiful wife – citing my penchant for violence as a reason he had reservations about taking me as his escort – I didn’t mind, knowing that Kit Harrington would still take me – in both meanings – if I get desperate. To prove I held no ill will, I still made a hearty serve of my Tony Kale Chips.




I know some people have an issue with kale, mainly due to its fad-like popularity, I’ve never met someone who can’t be swayed by them in chip form. Earthy, crisp and covered in salt, these are the perfect snack for eating smugly before an awards show.

I mean kale is healthy, so you can break the diet early, right? Enjoy!




Tony Kale Chips
Serves: 4-6.

bunch of kale
olive oil
salt, to taste

Preheat the oven to 175°C.

Remove the kale leaves from the stems and cut into large chip-sized pieces, wash and dry them thoroughly.

Transfer to a lined baking sheet, drizzle with a lug of olive oil, season with salt and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly browned and crisp.



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