Well well well, look who decided to wake up from their little Mexicoma and make a (what is sure to be triumphant) return to the world of food blogging, influencing and providing culinary comfort for reality TV cast-offs. Most of whom I have been a longtime friend of, and in the instance of the Global All Stars girlies, the inspiring reason they all started drag.

Ru included. But as you have no doubt come to know, I have digressed.

As you’ve probably surmised amongst the rambling, Ru pulled me out of my semi-retirement to celebrate the inaugural season of what is bound to be an iconic, battle for the ages – Global All Stars!

“Ben, hun, I need you there. I just need you. Get to Colombia,” Ru begged.

“I need you like Coco needs orange. Like Cheryl needs another week of doing mediocre. Like Tia needs an adequate dress. Like Alaska needs to borrow a sequined tank top. Like Spankie needs a chippie. You see what I’m doing, right? Just come, please. Now!”

Despite the fact I saw the cast list and questioned the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption of Ru and Co. not including Tayce (and Bimini), apparently, she was all gamed out and as such, I hopped the next plane and prepared to look after my girls.

Will Soa continue to be le-gen-daire? Will Alyssa’s icon status finally earn her the win? Or, most importantly, will Kween bring the first global crown down under and once again prove that Season 2 was iconic? Well, you’ll just have to wait around to find out. 

And check back next week for all the deets from our double opening.

Now teleport us to Mars! Party.

📷: Paramount+.


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