Easter Meggstravaganza

Coolaioli

Condiment, Easter Meggstravaganza, Sauce

Step two is always a bit difficult, what with our friends not wanting to identify as a struggling musician. Did we not mention that was part of the ritual? Well it is.

Anyway, after much coercing (that briefly reunited us with our frenemy Michelle Pfeiffer) we were able to convince our dear friend Coolio that he was no longer really spending most if any of his life, living in a gangsta’s paradise and as such, he needed to help Meg reach redemption and hope she wants to help his re-ascent.

While Annelie was a close friend of Ice T growing up, I was a confidante and pseudo manager of Coolio and encouraged him to expand into film and television, helping him find employment on The Nanny and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and got him the gig/co-wrote the inspirational love theme of Dangerous Minds.

After my countless disappearances to prison and rehab, Coolio just kind of disappeared from the A-list but being the kind, warm man he is, he never held it against me.

He dropped by hoping to reconnect professionally and write the next It’s Hard out Here for a Pimp/Let It Go and eventually came around to helping us with Meg first before working on our Oscar winning song (I mean, we were always destined for one so why not give him that).

Plus, Coolio goes crazy for his condiments and the promise of our famous Coolaioli was enough to snag his help.

 

Coolaioli_1

 

I love an aioli that smacks you in the face with garlic and this one doesn’t disappoint. Seriously, I have the bruise to prove it. Enjoy…and be careful!

 

Coolaioli_2

 

Coolaioli

Ingredients
1 clove garlic, peeled
1 tsp sea salt, plus more to season
freshly ground black pepper, to season
1 large egg yolk
1 tsp Dijon mustard
500-575ml olive oil
lemon juice, to taste

Method
Smash up the garlic and salt in a pestle and mortar.

Place the egg yolk and mustard in a bowl and whisk together, then start to add your oils bit by bit (this is when you fall in love with your stand mixer all over again as your arm isn’t exhausted). Once you’ve blended in roughly half the oil, you can add the rest in a quicker, steady stream.

When the mixture thickens, add lemon juice. When the texture seems right (or all the oil is gone), add the garlic.

Season to taste and add more lemon juice if needed.

Devilled Meggs Ryan

Easter Meggstravaganza, Party Food, Snack

It is always a rush when following through on an egg-based ritual to return fame, foretold in a vision quest in Palm Springs, the celebrity desert.

For the past decade we have struggled with our dear friend Meg to find the correct celebs to force into helping our ritual to return us to the A-list, but alas it has only come true for two of us.

As we have known Meg for such a long time, having met her on the set of When a Man Loves a Woman (Annelie was her stunt double for the shower scene and I acted as her alcohol coach) and continued on as her personal security until we were fired for leaking stories to the tabloids and befriending her across the canyon neighbours, the T-Austins (in a dark period in our friendship, we egged her house).

Thankfully a desire for fame is a huge motivation for forgiveness and Meg never held a grudge and we still have fun with each other in the lead-up to our annual ritual.

In recent years Meg has been enjoying a slight career upswing, playing an obsessive stalker with OCD on Web Therapy (a role loosely based on one of my incarcerations) and we have taken it as a sign that she is on the precipice of returning to greatness. As such, we decided the best way to start this year’s ritual was with a batch of Sweet and Spicy Devilled Meggs Ryan.

 

Devilled Megs Ryan_1

 

The maple bacon counters the kick of heat and if our calculations are right, she should be having what we’re having…an A-list resurgence.

Enjoy!

 

Devilled Megs Ryan_2

 

Sweet and Spicy Devilled Megs Ryan
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
2 rashers streaky bacon
1 tbsp maple syrup
12 hard-boiled eggs, peeled
½ cup mayonnaise
1-2 tbsp Sriracha sauce
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tsp finely chopped tarragon
1 tbsp finely chopped chives

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line a tray with baking paper. While the oven is heating, marinate the bacon in the maple syrup. When the oven is at temperature, lay rashers on the tray until caramelised and crispy, should be about ten minutes. Remove from oven and set aside to cool.

Cut all the eggs in half lengthways and remove the yolk to a bowl. Mash all of the yolks until smooth-ish and then mix in the mayo, sriracha, mustard and herbs. Season to taste.

Spoon the yolk mixture back into each egg cavity and place on the serving plate.

Finely chop the maple bacon and sprinkle over the eggs. Devour and know that phase one was a success.