Ally McBeal

Bernadaise Peters

Condiment, Sauce

The Oscars are just over a week away and it has had me thinking about the tragic fact that my dear, dear frenemy Bernadette Peters is yet to be nominated for one and as such, hasn’t been able to at least achieve nominations for each part of the EGOT.

To clarify, Bernie is solely classed as a frenemy on account of her supreme curls, while I am stuck with hair that most closely resembles singed pubes styled into a Ray Martin-esque dome-fro. But I have digressed …

I first met Bernie when we were both young ingenues treading the boards on the big white way, before white officially became the Oscars’ favourite colour. She went on to enjoy success in George M! with my nemesis Joel Grey and our friendship went quiet while I was busy working packing meat in the Meatpacking district during the time where both meanings of the term occurred in the area.

It wasn’t until a chance encounter in 1987 brought us back together and I joined her entourage during her run in Into the Woods, despite the lengthy, form-of-torture opening number.

Bernie was thrilled to catch up, still buzzing as she is from Mozart in the Jungle’s recent win at the Golden Globes – sadly I wasn’t there, due to my messy break-up with Gael in 2004. As she was at the Globes, she was able to provide me with some much needed industry goss to inform my Oscars betting. So knowing that her weakness lay in condiments, I quickly whipped up a nice big ol’ jug of my famed Bernadaise Peters to loosen her lips.

 

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With the perfect balance of sweetness and tang, bearnaise, and all members of the naise family, is the perfect condiment for a nice piece of steak, burgers … or as a drink, no judgement.

Now I don’t want to let too much slip, but don’t bet on Leo just yet – apparently Harvey Weinstein loves the loser Leo memes and will do anything to keep them coming.

Enjoy!

 

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Bernadaise Peters
Makes: 1(ish) cups.

Ingredients
3 egg yolks
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
250ml ghee, warmed
1 tbsp tarragon, chopped
salt
freshly ground black pepper

Method
Whisk the yolks and vinegar together over a double boiler until thick and fluffy. Slowly add the ghee, whisking continuously.

Add the tarragon and generously season.

Keep at room temperature until ready to serve … or, you know, drink up!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Cobert Downey Jr.

Party Food, Snack

While they are always a horrible choice, some people pull off coloured-lensed glasses, like RDJ, and some people don’t (we’re looking at you Bono). We tried to convince Bobs (we also call RDJ, Bobs) of this fact during our shared 90s rehab stint, but his look sold it to us.

Over the years we have acted as Bobs’ closest confidantes and despite some disagreements (we advised that he never work with Katie Holmes…on the advice of our friend, her daughter Suri), the friendship has been emotionally and professionally fulfilling.

Yes, we wanted him to fulfil us sexually…but that just seems to be how it goes with our friends, so it has never been an issue.

Bobs dropped over between the Australian and US release of Avengers 2: Age of Hard-On (it was definitely title and if not, I had one for Cap anyway), to discuss his work and provide him with crucial advice for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I reiterate, he really values our opinion.

For one of the highest earning actors, RDJ is so humble, kind and was terrified we would give him a bad review (the movie was magnificent, FYI) and cast him aside (it would never happen).

To celebrate his cinematic triumph and the fact we finally convinced him to push Marvel to sign us as we-can’t-tell-yet superheroes (it is in Phase 4), we whipped up a quick Cobert Downey Jr and discussed our enduringly loving friendship.

 

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You could never say a negative word about cob dip, nor you could put anything wrong inside a cob (well you can, but that is another arrest for another time). While I opted for the (comparatively) lighter spinach and vegie dip, nothing quite says Bunheads marathon like a cheesy bacon option.

Enjoy!

 

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Cobert Downey Jr
Serves: 4-8 if you’re social, 2 if you’re watching Netflix and 1 if you’re watching Netflix and emotional.

Ingredients
1 packet frozen chopped spinach, drained
300ml tub sour cream
250g cream cheese
1 packet spring vegetable soup
2 cob loaves

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180°C.

Cut one of the cobs up into 1 inch dice and lay out flat on a large baking sheet. Cut the top off the second cob loaf, dicing it into large chunks and hollow out cob, ripping it into large-ish chunks. Lay both sets of the aforementioned chunks and the empty cob on a second baking sheet.

Put both baking sheets into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden.

Meanwhile, mash cream cheese in a large bowl, and mix through sour cream, soup mix and spinach.

When cob is out of the oven, decant the dip into the hollowed cob and place on a serving dish. Whack the chunks of bread in a bowl, on a plate…where ever really. Then devour.