Megg Nog Ryan

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Drink

Now in it’s 14th year – and the fourth one that is being documented on this anthropological patch of cyberspace – Megs and I assumed the ceremonial cloaks and get straight down to whipping up an eggy sacrifice to give her career new life.

We were both so hopeful that last year was going to be her year after her directorial debut Ithaca, but it didn’t register a blip on the Oscars radar and no offers rolled in despite another potential employment stream.

“Ben, bless you! We don’t need to keep going until the shaman’s ritual limit of 15. I’m happy with where and I, and knowing how fiercely you love me is more than enough to keep me going.

“You’re my prize Ben. You’re my A-list.”

Like, of course I am, duh … but seriously, how sweet is Megsy? That is why I’ve persevered to get her back on top like Tyra. Not to be confused with the other (shit) Tyra.

Anyway, we donned our ceremonial cloaks, headed to the kitchen, chanting the incantation and kicked things off with a boozey, chill Megg Nog Ryan.

 

 

While I will agree that Egg Nog is a festive drink, I would argue that there is nothing more festive or important than the Meggstravaganza. Spiced and potent, there is no better way to summon the spirits of the Hollywood Gods … and dull the pain of Monday.

Enjoy!

 

 

Megg Nog Ryan
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 eggs, separated
⅓ cup raw caster sugar, plus an extra tablespoon
2 cups milk
1 cup double cream
1 tsp nutmeg
½ tsp cinnamon
½ cup bourbon

Method
Beat the egg yolks in a stand mixer with the ⅓ cup sugar until completely dissolved and glossy. Set aside.

Meanwhile combine the milk, cream, nutmeg and cinnamon and bring to the boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk half a cup of the mixture into the sugary yolk. Once combined and free of curdling, slowly whisk back into the warm, milky mixture and cook over low heat until the mixture reaches 70C. Remove from heat, whisk in the bourbon, cover and transfer to the fridge to chill.

When you’re ready to serve, whisk the egg whites with the remaining sugar until stiff peaks form. Fold through the yolk mixture until well combined. Transfer to glasses, sprinkle with some extra nutmeg and down. Until everything feels groovy. Because I’m now in The Brady Bunch, it seems.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Candied Mary Beth Peel

Dawson's Creek 20th Anniversary, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

I can’t believe that I’m already at the halfway point of my Dawson’s Creek anniversary celebration. While that makes me a feel a little bit misty after seeing dreamy Josh and healing with Katie, my girl Mary Beth Peil is the perfect person to elevate my spirits.

I mean, there is a reason she is the only member of the adult cast to get an invite.

Despite having an extensive career on Broad-way, I didn’t meet the divine Mezzy B until she appeared in Reckless with my girl Mia Farrow. Our bond was instantaneous, and we’ve been the best of friends ever since. When they were struggling to cats the role of Grams, I knew that she was the only one worthy of the role.

Mez has been super busy with the one-two punch of Anastasia and Les Liaisons Dangereuses, so it was wonderful that she could take some time out to celebrate her work as the moral compass and heart of Capeside.

Given we’re both old as fuck at heart, I knew that only my Candied Mary Beth Peel would suffice.

 

 

Full disclosure, I hate oranges. And peel. I mean, peel ruins hot cross buns and Christmas cake … but in this form, it sings. Soft and sweet, the peel almost becomes nature’s jube. And who doesn’t love a jube?

Enjoy!

 

 

Candied Mary Beth Peel
Serves: 2 dear, sweet friends.

Ingredients
2 large oranges, top and tailed
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
1 cups water

Method
Cut each orange into 4 wedges and remove the flesh and pith. Scrape any excess pith from the inside and cut each into long, ½ cm strips. Place the peel in a saucepan of water and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for fifteen minutes before draining and rinsing thoroughly.

Bring a cup of sugar and the water to boil in a saucepan over medium heat. When rollicking, add the peel, reduce heat to low and simmer for an hour, or until nice and soft. Drain.

Toss the drained peel through the remaining sugar to coat and transfer to a wire rack to dry completely – this can take a day or so. Then, obviously, devour … if you managed to wait.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Meggs Benedict Ryan

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Breakfast

I know I came off like a sad sack on Saturday, but it just breaks my heart so completely to think that Megs hasn’t returned to her 80s-90s glory. The woman is a damn saint and deserves it … more than anyone!

Any
one.

I was so sure that Ithaca would be her ticket back last year but sadly it barely registered on anyone’s radars. I’m not saying it deserved to be the third movie involved in the Best Picture brouhaha of 2017 … but I’m not not saying it either.

Once again, Megs was an absolute delight and downplayed the necessity of the catch-up.

“Ben – you don’t have to do this, honestly, you’ve tried. Maybe I’m not meant to be on the A-list anymore.”

Um … over my dead body Megs!

“Plus my dear, sweet Ben – I can’t be the first person to have a hat trick of dates on your highly-lauded, prestigious, future-award-winning and meaningful anthropological documentation of your close, personal relationships with celebrities told in a culinary fashion.”

Again, it took a few hours and our wine went warm before she finally agreed to give the Meggstravaganza another shot!

But honestly, who could refuse a freshly cooked Meggs Benedict Ryan?

 

 

I know the ritual only calls for five celebs, but I figured whipping up a gang bang of celebrity recipes to make Eggs Benedict could not hurt.

Plus there is nothing than a fresh benny served on Jon English Muffins with a tart heaping of Hollandaise Taylor.

To Meg, her career and the perfectly poached chicken period – enjoy!

 

 

Meggs Benedict Ryan
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
a dash of white vinegar
4 rashers of streaky bacon
handful of baby spinach
2 Jon English Muffins
avocado, mashed
1 quantity of Hollandaise Taylor
4 eggs

Method
Place a large pot of water and a dash of vinegar over high heat and bring to the boil.

While that is getting hot hot hot, heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until crispy. Remove to some paper towel and keep warm. Quickly wilt the baby spinach in the same pan, removing from the heat when done.

Split the muffins and toast and smear with avocado. You could use butter … but why? Top with some wilted spinach and bacon and leave to rest.

Also, whip up the Hollandaise Taylor as per the recipe.

When the water is boiling, reduce to a simmer and carefully crack the eggs into the water, folding the whites around the yolk with a slotted spoon to keep them beautiful and together. Cook until your desired doneness – which should be just completely cooked whites, FYI – and remove with a slotted spoon. Place on top of the bacon and drown the entire thing in hollandaise before devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Megg Rolls Ryan

12th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Easter Meggstravaganza, Main, Snack

Bless her heart, Megsy is happy with her mediocre career resurgence!

“You don’t have to do this, I worked with Kiernan Shipka!”

Kiernan shouldn’t be responsible for paying your bills Meg, she is still a child.

“But I can’t be the first recipe double-up on your highly-lauded, prestigious and meaningful anthropological documentation of your close, personal relationships with celebrities told via your cooking catch-ups.”

Ah, yes you should be Megs – and more importantly, you deserve the prestigious honour of being our 150th Recipe! We’ve always loved you and you deserve another shot at fame thanks to the Easter Meggstravaganza … it is named after you, after all.

The battle waged for about six hours, but eventually I was able to convince that this would be our year and we’d be able to celebrate her return to fame/form together at the Oscars next year, rather than have it continue to languish like the victim of a biking crash while the Goo Goo Dolls played.

Megs has been busy with her latest actorial-directorial effort with my friend (who I must catch-up with) Tam Honks, Ithaca and really needed the break … and the good juju for reviews/box-office receipts/plaudits that comes with my egg based ritual.

While last year I went with an 70/80s special Devilled Meggs Ryan, I decided this year that the only way to truly get her back on the A-list was something hearty, substantial and relevant aka the culinary embodiment of what we want her career to be – enter scene, Megg Rolls Ryan.

 

meg-rolls-ryan-1

 

I have really struggled through the recent Queensland summer, so have been dabbling in any meal that is luke-warm yet delicious as I like to eat good food, but don’t enjoy the accompanying sweet dripping off my balls when in the kitchen making it.

These Egg Rolls, which aren’t like their American Chinese take-away counterparts, are light, fresh and packed full of paper with minimal cooking leaving me satisfied but not like I’ve just stepped out of a G-rated, food-safe sauna.

Now to start prepping for my struggling musician pal … enjoy!

 

meg-rolls-ryan-2

 

Megg Rolls Ryan
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g shredded cooked chicken breast
1 large carrot, peeled, cut into matchsticks
1 red capsicum, seeded, thinly sliced
1 Lebanese cucumber, cut into matchsticks
2 tbsp kecap manis
6 eggs, lightly beaten
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tbsp peanut oil
Extra kecap manis and sriracha, to serve

Method
Combine the shredded chicken, carrot, capsicum, cucumber and kecap manis in a large bowl. Stir and season to taste.

Combine egg and sesame oil in a jug. Heat a nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat, add a dash of the peanut oil and swirl to coat. Drizzle a few tablespoons of the egg mixture into pan to form a crisscross patterned omelette. Cook for 30 seconds, carefully flip and cook for 20 seconds. Transfer to a plate, cover and keep warm. Repeat with remaining egg mixture and oil, to form 8 crepes.

Place the egg crepes on a clean work surface. Divide the chicken mixture among the centres of the crepes. Roll up the crepes tightly to enclose the filling – I’m pretty bad tag this, so mine look more like crepe enchiladas. Transfer the egg rolls to serving plates and drizzle with extra kecap manis and sriracha. Devour but not so quickly that you end up Sleepless (in Seattle) with indigestion.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Bernadaise Peters

Condiment, Sauce

The Oscars are just over a week away and it has had me thinking about the tragic fact that my dear, dear frenemy Bernadette Peters is yet to be nominated for one and as such, hasn’t been able to at least achieve nominations for each part of the EGOT.

To clarify, Bernie is solely classed as a frenemy on account of her supreme curls, while I am stuck with hair that most closely resembles singed pubes styled into a Ray Martin-esque dome-fro. But I have digressed …

I first met Bernie when we were both young ingenues treading the boards on the big white way, before white officially became the Oscars’ favourite colour. She went on to enjoy success in George M! with my nemesis Joel Grey and our friendship went quiet while I was busy working packing meat in the Meatpacking district during the time where both meanings of the term occurred in the area.

It wasn’t until a chance encounter in 1987 brought us back together and I joined her entourage during her run in Into the Woods, despite the lengthy, form-of-torture opening number.

Bernie was thrilled to catch up, still buzzing as she is from Mozart in the Jungle’s recent win at the Golden Globes – sadly I wasn’t there, due to my messy break-up with Gael in 2004. As she was at the Globes, she was able to provide me with some much needed industry goss to inform my Oscars betting. So knowing that her weakness lay in condiments, I quickly whipped up a nice big ol’ jug of my famed Bernadaise Peters to loosen her lips.

 

bernadaise-peters-1

 

With the perfect balance of sweetness and tang, bearnaise, and all members of the naise family, is the perfect condiment for a nice piece of steak, burgers … or as a drink, no judgement.

Now I don’t want to let too much slip, but don’t bet on Leo just yet – apparently Harvey Weinstein loves the loser Leo memes and will do anything to keep them coming.

Enjoy!

 

bernadaise-peters-2

 

Bernadaise Peters
Makes: 1(ish) cups.

Ingredients
3 egg yolks
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
250ml ghee, warmed
1 tbsp tarragon, chopped
salt
freshly ground black pepper

Method
Whisk the yolks and vinegar together over a double boiler until thick and fluffy. Slowly add the ghee, whisking continuously.

Add the tarragon and generously season.

Keep at room temperature until ready to serve … or, you know, drink up!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.