Egg Yoko Raviono

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Main, Pasta

After a busy and ritualistically labour intensive week catching up with Megs, Shirley, Gabs and Alan, I’ve finally arrived at the crescendo with my hero Yoko Ono.

While most people incorrectly attribute her with breaking up The Beatles – instead of male egos etc. – she is a talented artist, singer, songwriter and general multi-hyphenate, and I hate the hate she so often gets.

Plus – as a peace activist, we need more people like her in the world.

I gave her a call last week to see if she was up for the honour, and while she was confused about what a Meggstravaganza was – or even Meg, for that matter – I had her at shamanic ritual. We obviously met through John, but fast became friends in our own rite with me becoming her de facto muse.

After a quick stint reconnecting and catching-up about our current artistic endeavours – FYI, Bed-In Brisbane is likely to happen soon, we threw on the ritualistic robe for the last time this year and got to work sacrificing my Egg Yoko Raviono.

 

 

Using the still fresh Alan Pastarkin, this egg yolk raviolo is near perfection. Melting cheese and delicately cooked yolk, ensconced in perfect pasta … with burnt butter, sage and prosciutto? I’m in heaven, as you will be after you make it. Plus – it looks difficult but is super easy, so what is there to lose?

Enjoy!

 

 

Egg Yoko Raviono
Serves: 4

Ingredients
1 batch of Alan Pastarkin
1 cup ricotta cheese
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
¼ tsp nutmeg
salt and pepper, to taste
8 eggs, separated
6 slices of pancetta, cut into strips
150g unsalted butter
sage leaves, to taste

Method
Combine the ricotta, parmesan and nutmeg in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Lay out your sheets of pasta – they should look like long, thin lasagne – and cut them into large, even squares.

Divide the cheese mixture between 8 pieces of pasta, forming into a neat mound in the centre. Top with an egg yolk and cover with a remaining piece of pasta, push out any excess air and sealing to close. Transfer to a piece of baking paper.

Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and heat a frying pan over medium heat. In the frying pan, cook the pancetta until crisp and delicious. Add the butter and – I advise – a shit tonne of sage leaves, and cook until crisp and fragrant.

When the water is rollicking, add the ravioli and cook for a couple of minutes, or until they float and the cheese is melted but the yolk is still runny.

Serve immediately, drowned in butter, pancetta and sage and devour. Giddily.

 

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Alan Pastarkin

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Pasta

After kicking things off with Megs, a drop-in from the delightful Shirley Bassey and catching up with Gabourey Sidibe yesterday, I’m thrilled to arrive at my favourite day of the Meggstravaganza – seeing a shockingly still living legend. And no tea no shade … but there is no one more worthy of the honour than my dear Alan Arkin.

While we didn’t meet until relatively late in his career, we’ve grown to become the best of friends. Making it so exciting every time I realise he isn’t close to death.

I first met Al on the set of Edward Scissorhands through my gal-pal Winona, but we didn’t solidify our relationship until the best-friend party that became Glengarry Glen Ross with Jack, Al Pac and Alec Baldy. After that, I was hooked and I made it my duty to become his muse.

My crowning achievement, obviously, was convincing him to join Little Miss Sunshine and finally snagging him an Oscar.

He was thrilled to drop by and see me again, particularly when it came with a side order of helping a fellow thespian make a good comeback. I ran straight into his arms as soon as I saw him at the arrivals gate and don’t think I let go until it was time to pop on our Meggstravaganza robes and make some Alan Pastarkin.

 

 

Making pasta at home is probably the easiest thing you’ve been too terrified to try. And let me promise you, it is so worth the effort. Which is minimal. Light, delicate and fresh – it is perfect for any and all occasions.

Enjoy!

 

 

Alan Pastarkin
Serves: 1-.

Ingredients
400g 00 flour, plus extra for dusting
4 eggs
salt, to taste
*So yeah, basically to make pasta 1 egg to 100g of flour, ok?

Method
Chuck the flour and eggs into a food processor with a pinch of salt, and blitz until a dough forms. Transfer to a floured surface and knead for a couple of minutes, or until smooth and elastic. Form into a disc, wrap with cling and leave to rest for an hour. Oh, at room temp, FYI.

When you’re ready, cut the dough into four and working one at a time, feed it through a pasta roller, working from the thickest to thinnest, dusting with flour as you go. Fold in half and the half again, then feed through the shortest end at the widest setting and work to your desired thickness.

Once it is at your desired consistency, cut to shape – if required – and cook immediately. Or devour raw like us. Though don’t, because of food poisoning.

 

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Gaberry Soufflibe

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

After a hint of Megs and a dash of Shirls, we’ve arrived at the televisual stardom section of my egg-based ritual. And based on her successful post-Precious TV career with The Big C, American Horror Story: Coven through Hotel and Empire, my girl Gabs Sidible was the only person worthy of joining me for day three of this year’s Easter Meggstravaganza.

I’ve known Gabs for years after meeting on the set of Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. I was there visiting my part-time lover Lenny Kravtiz and was immediately drawn in by her performance and vowed to make her a star, and get her an Oscar. While she was robbed by my frenemy Sandra Bullock – she should have been robbed by Meryl instead – she never held my inability to bring Bullsy down against me.

Given how busy I’ve been being Miley and the sort, and she is still hard at work on Empire, Gabs and I haven’t had the chance to catch-up in a while. And let me tell you, it was such a treat to see her again.

She was not only so excited to see me again and reconnect, but also help bring Megs the renewed fame she deserves. We laughed, we hugged, we plotted my way into American Horror Story and finally put on our ritualistic robes and devoured a Gaberry Soufflibe.

 

 

Don’t let the terrible photos scare you – the air conditioning really did a number on them – these babies are damned near perfection. Light, sweet and full of berrylicious tang, it is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Or off, TBH.

Enjoy!

 

 

Gaberry Soufflibe
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup raw caster sugar
100g blueberries
100g raspberries
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp cornflour
2 egg whites
icing sugar, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Combine the ¼ cup of sugar, berries, vanilla and cornflour in a saucepan over medium heat with 2 tablespoons of water. Bring to a boil over high heat and cook for five minutes or so, or until broken down and thickened. Remove from heat and allow to cool for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to rock and or roll, place the remaining sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with the egg whites and beat until stiff peaks form. Fold through the berry mixture and pour into 6 small ramekins, place on a lined baking sheet and bake for ten minutes or until risen (like Megs’ career, yo).

Dust with icing sugar and devour.

 

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City of Eggles

14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I was pretty whiny about last year’s Meggstravaganza and while my dear friend MegsMegs, Megs – would never say it, I feel like my attitude tarnished the annual egg based ritual and stopped it from working.

While it is an exhausting, laborious process, I love Megs and I would do anything to see her succeed. And that is what I need to remind myself.

Plus, she reminded me that the ancient shaman we consulted said we could only give it 15 attempts, lest we want to have the ritual completely backfire. That means this is our second last attempt and I need to make it count.

With that, buckle up as I assemble Megs, a struggling musician, a successful TV star, a shockingly still living legend and a hero, to complete the ritual and save our world.

Because at the risk of sounding like a broken record, a world without Meg headlining a movie is a world in need of fixing.

Welcome to the 14th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza – City of Meggles!

Image source: Screencap from The Craft.

 

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MickMuffin Jagger

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Breakfast, Burgers, Main, Snack

We’ve come to the end of the ritual and wild horses couldn’t keep me away because this legend is a gas gas gas! Yep, as you may have guessed, I’ve finally convinced my dear friend, ex-lover and God amongst men Mick Jagger to drop by and visit … on record.

It truly is amazing how many people in the world are rooting for Megs’ return to the A-list.

I grew up with Mick and Keith in Dartford in the ‘50s – remember, I kicked Keith out of Annelie and my barbershop quartet minus one leading to the boys forming Rolling Stones. You’re welcome.

Despite the fact we semi-offended Keith by giving him the boot, he appreciated that it was the push he needed  … allowing us to play the integral role in Rolling Stones success, as Mick wanted.

While we’ve dutifully carried out our work as their muses life has gotten in the way over the years and sadly we never get to spend as much time together as we’d like, so I was super thankfully he made the long flight over to visit!

After quickly catching-up and gleefully accepting his request to be little Devereux’s godfather, we got to work on the main purpose of the visit – Meggstravaganza – and devoured way too many MickMuffin Jaggers.

 

 

It is a fact universally acknowledged that breakfast is the best menu at McDonald’s … and its piece de resistance, is the Sausage and Egg McMuffin.

And this takes that majesty, flips it and reserves it, into something even greater – a big kick of chilli, just cooked egg and cheddar so sharp it could cut a bitch.

Long story short, enjoy!

 

 

MickMuffin Jagger
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
500g pork mince
1 onion, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
a couple of sage leaves, finely chopped
1 tbsp flat leaf parsley, finely chopped
1 tbsp dried chilli flakes
pinch of nutmeg
good whack of salt and pepper
olive oil
8 Jon English Muffins
8-16 slices vintage cheddar
8 eggs, sunny-side up
Sriracha or chilli jam, to taste
Slash Browns, to serve

Method
Combine the mince, onion, garlic, sugar, sage, parsley, chilli, nutmeg, salt and pepper in a large bowl and scrunch with your hands until well combined. Divide the mixture into 8 even balls.

Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over high heat, when piping hot, reduce heat to medium and add half the patties to the pan and flatten with a spatula to about 1cm thick. Cook for about 5 minutes, flip and cook for a couple more. Remove from the heat and repeat the process with the remaining patties.

While the patties are on the go, split the muffins and get toastin’. Top half of each muff with a slice of cheese and place the cooked patties straight on top.

Once the patties are done, cook each egg until the whites are just done and the yolks are perfectly cooked. Place on top of the patties, drizzle with Sriracha or chilli jam and top with the other muff-half.

Devour … with a generous amount of Slash Browns.

 

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Breakfast Burtito Jackson

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Breakfast, Main

As you would probably expect, finding a shockingly still living legend to complete the Meggstravaganza is quite difficult … given that I generally assume they are dead.

While literally any of the Jackson 5 could take the role – given that I kinda assumed they died before Michael – Tito has always been my favourite and as such, I knew he’d be game to help bring Meg’s career back from the clutches of death.

As you know, Annelie and I got (one of) our start(s) working as choreographers for the Jackson 5 – despite what MJ’s estate sued me to deny, I maintain that I invented the moonwalk – where we bonded with the boys over being young talented ingenues with a mild-to-major fear of Joe.

Tito may not have had the star power of the Michaels or the Janets but what he lacked there, he made up for with a kind heart and he always pushed us to be better, kinder people.

Lost causes, I know … but it just goes to show how sweet and loving he is.

Given that he has been hella busy with the release of Tito Time, I haven’t been able to hang out with Daddy Teets – as I affectionately and surprisingly non-sexually call him – as often as I’d like, so it was such a blessing that he could make the time to come an help.

(Plus – I do live in fear that he could die at any given moment, so it is best to cherish the time we have left).

Since we’re both big on the early to bed, early to rise rule, I knew there was only one egg-based sacrifice/meal that we could share – our favourite tour meal, my Breakfast Burtito Jackson.

 

 

I’m going to be completely blunt here – there is bacon, a shit tonne of cheese and good whack of chilli. Need I say more to entice you into giving it a try?

FYI – the answer is no. To the kitchen, YA!

Oh, and enjoy!

 

 

Breakfast Burtito Jackson
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4-6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
4 shallots, thinly sliced
handful of cherry tomatoes, finely chopped
1-2 tsp dried chilli flakes, depending on taste
6 eggs
salt and pepper, to taste
½ cup (minimum) grated cheese
4 small (or 2 large) tortillas

Method
Fry the bacon in a medium frying pan for about five minutes, or until just starting to go crisp.

Add in the shallots, tomato and chilli flakes and cook for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low.

Whisk the eggs in a small jug, season generously and add to the pan, stirring constantly. When almost cooked, add the cheese and stir through until melted. Remove from the heat immediately.

Heat a second, clean, dry frying pan over medium heat and cook each tortilla for thirty seconds or so each side.

Transfer the warmed tortillas to plates, divide the eggy goodness amongst the four and roll into a burrito … before, obvi, devouring.

 

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Nasi Gorinda Medley

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Breakfast, Main

As much as I love my girl Dorinda Medley and am thrilled that her return to our TV screens with the latest season of RHONY last week is the perfect exclamation mark to her title of successful TV star for purposes of this egg-based ritual – who else feels I should just keep this sentence running on for the duration of the post?! – seeing her reminded me of what we lost last November, when our mutual friend HRC lost the election.

And that hurts.

While seeing her brought up the pain of the election of the devil, Dorinda always makes it nice and as such, we were yacking it up and reconnecting in a matter of no time!

Despite being close friends for decades –  we bonded over having mutual enemies at society events – I haven’t caught up with Dori since she joined the housewives franchise and enjoyed a stratospheric rise to the A-list, so we had much to catch-up on.

After hours of discussing John, Luann’s wedding – that I was viciously banned from for mocking Chic C’est La Vie to TMZ a few years ago – getting the goss on the upcoming season. Sadly she isn’t sure Andy is willing to ‘forgive me’ – HA, he knows what he did – and let me appear on the shows with all of my friends, but she is hopefully that I’ll be able to make it nice.

Just not as nice as her.

As any rational person is, Dori is a huge fan of Megs and was honoured to be called up to assist with the ritual … particularly since it meant she got to devour a Nasi Gorinda Medley, which she has been craving for close to four years now.

 

 

Like Dorinda, this nasi goreng is spicy, sweet and a little bit fiery … but comes together to provide comfort to anyone that comes within contact. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I definitely made this nice.

And thankfully we didn’t have to sit through timestamped videos of the Berkshires … though I’d be happy to if you need me, Andy.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nasi Gorinda Medley
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
sesame oil
4 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tsp grated ginger
3 shallots, thinly sliced
500g chicken mince
3 cups cooked brown rice
2 tbsp soy sauce
¼ cup kecap manis
2 red chillies, thinly sliced
2 carrots, grated
½ small wombok, shredded
handful of coriander leaves, roughly chopped
hot sriracha chilli sauce, to serve
4 eggs

Method
Heat a good lug of oil in a large frying pan – or wok – and fry off the ginger and onion. Once nice and fragrant, add the chicken and cook for about five minutes.

Add the rice, soy, kecap manis, carrot, chilli and wombok, and cook for a further five minutes or so. Remove from the heat and stir through the coriander leaves.

While the coriander is getting fragrant, heat a lug of sesame oil in a small frying pan and cook the eggs until the whites are just done and the yolks are soft.

Divide the mixture between the bowls, drizzle with sriracha and top each with an egg.

Devour.

 

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Natalie Crembruglia

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Well hot diggity damn – guess what today’s recipe marks? No Captain EyebrowsObvious, I’m not just drawing attention to day two of the Easter Meggstravaganza … it is our 350th recipe.

Can you believe it? More importantly, do you want to believe it?

Now while my dear friend Natalie Imbruglia wasn’t thrilled to be referred to as a struggling musician, she was honoured that it coincided with a milestone recipe.

Oh – and I totally lied and said it was an ironic title. And she bought it.

I first met Nat while working on Neighbours, she started in the mid-90s and I took her under wing after becoming top-dog on set as Madge’s cigarette lighter. As is often the case, I recognised pretty quickly that she was destined for greatness and made it my goal to make her the next Kylie Minogue.

Who I was feuding with at the time.

She left Neighbours and within a year or so released her debut single Torn. Despite completely ignoring my vocal coaching to sing with an aggressively ocker, Australian accent, it somehow became a hit and she went on to enjoy a successful career.

Flash forward 18 years and she released an album of covers I didn’t even know existed before perusing her Wikipedia entry pre-visit, thus cementing her status as a struggling musician … for the sake of this exercise.

(Don’t let the shade take away from her classic album White Lilies Islands, which I’d defend until the end of time).

After working through her discomfort with the struggling part of her label, she gladly sat down to dinner know that she was actively contributing to potentially returning Meg Ryan to fame/the status quo of the world by way of egg-based culinary sacrifices.

And a big old Natalie Crembruglia doesn’t hurt to sweeten the deal either!

 

 

Smooth and sweet, this is the perfect dish to woo the universe to give Meg Ryan a(nother) break. Plus – how can it (the universe) not appreciate cracking a hard exterior to get to the creamy liquid inside.

Enjoy!

 

 

Natalie Crembruglia
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
300ml double cream
1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out
4 egg yolks
2 tbsp caster sugar
demerara sugar, to top

Method
Combine the cream and vanilla in a saucepan and almost bring to the boil, ensuring not to actually let it boil.

Beat the yolks and caster sugar together in a bowl and very slowly, still stirring, pour in the cream. Once combined, transfer it back to the pan and cook over low heat until it thickens. This shouldn’t take longer than 10 minutes.

Divide the custard amongst 4-6 ramekins – depending on their size and your greed – and place in a fridge to completely chill.

When you’re ready to eat, sprinkle the tops with sugar and scorch with a blowtorch or under the grill to give a hard, sweet top. Return to the fridge for five minutes (I like to make sure the toffee firms up) … and then devour.

 

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Meggs Benedict Ryan

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Breakfast

I know I came off like a sad sack on Saturday, but it just breaks my heart so completely to think that Megs hasn’t returned to her 80s-90s glory. The woman is a damn saint and deserves it … more than anyone!

Any
one.

I was so sure that Ithaca would be her ticket back last year but sadly it barely registered on anyone’s radars. I’m not saying it deserved to be the third movie involved in the Best Picture brouhaha of 2017 … but I’m not not saying it either.

Once again, Megs was an absolute delight and downplayed the necessity of the catch-up.

“Ben – you don’t have to do this, honestly, you’ve tried. Maybe I’m not meant to be on the A-list anymore.”

Um … over my dead body Megs!

“Plus my dear, sweet Ben – I can’t be the first person to have a hat trick of dates on your highly-lauded, prestigious, future-award-winning and meaningful anthropological documentation of your close, personal relationships with celebrities told in a culinary fashion.”

Again, it took a few hours and our wine went warm before she finally agreed to give the Meggstravaganza another shot!

But honestly, who could refuse a freshly cooked Meggs Benedict Ryan?

 

 

I know the ritual only calls for five celebs, but I figured whipping up a gang bang of celebrity recipes to make Eggs Benedict could not hurt.

Plus there is nothing than a fresh benny served on Jon English Muffins with a tart heaping of Hollandaise Taylor.

To Meg, her career and the perfectly poached chicken period – enjoy!

 

 

Meggs Benedict Ryan
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
a dash of white vinegar
4 rashers of streaky bacon
handful of baby spinach
2 Jon English Muffins
avocado, mashed
1 quantity of Hollandaise Taylor
4 eggs

Method
Place a large pot of water and a dash of vinegar over high heat and bring to the boil.

While that is getting hot hot hot, heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until crispy. Remove to some paper towel and keep warm. Quickly wilt the baby spinach in the same pan, removing from the heat when done.

Split the muffins and toast and smear with avocado. You could use butter … but why? Top with some wilted spinach and bacon and leave to rest.

Also, whip up the Hollandaise Taylor as per the recipe.

When the water is boiling, reduce to a simmer and carefully crack the eggs into the water, folding the whites around the yolk with a slotted spoon to keep them beautiful and together. Cook until your desired doneness – which should be just completely cooked whites, FYI – and remove with a slotted spoon. Place on top of the bacon and drown the entire thing in hollandaise before devouring.

 

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Megs, Megs, Megs all I want is Megs (to be famous again)

13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Easter Meggstravaganza, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I am so sick of doing the Easter Meggstravaganza.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Meg and would do anything for her – anything – but how has the woman not had a bonafide hit to return her to the A-list in the previous 12 years of completing the egg based ritual?

Surely this year will be lucky number 13, right?

(Though with nothing on the horizon, the ritual has its work cut out for it).

Sit back and relax – you (should) know the drill – as I assemble Megs, a struggling musician, a successful TV star, a shockingly still living legend and a hero, to complete the ritual … and save the world.

Because a world without Meg headlining a movie is a world in need of fixing.

Welcome to the 13th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza – Megs, Megs, Megs, all I want is Megs (to be famous again)!

Image source: XX.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest,  and Tumblr.