Treat Yo’ Self Week

Gin Fizz Ansari

Drink, Treat Yo' Self Week

Every Queen, like Retta and myself, must have a King and you can not celebrate Treat Yo’ Self Week without its’ King, our dear friend and kindred bling spirit, Aziz Ansari.

I first connected with Aziz when we travelled back in time to join the Parks writer’s room in 2009 where I became his pet project where he tried to make my unending confidence and love of pop culture and excess likeable – or in the likeness of Tom Haverford.

Aziz, bless him, didn’t realise how hard that task would be – what with my passion for feuding and acid throwing – but he was committed to the project and by 2012 had succeed in making me a barely functioning adult that was tolerated in society.

Following Aziz’s success in transforming my life, we had planned to take the self-improvement system/cult global and rip of millions of people however Aziz being Aziz, was too successful selling out The Garden, writing books and starring in a hit sitcom to continue with the scheme.

Oh, plus he is super nice and thought the cult aspects I was pushing were wrong. Whatevs.

Being renowned foodies, Aziz and I try to stay abreast of the best on the scene – fun fact, I was an integral part of the insemination of The Food Club, however was disbarred after I misunderstood the context of the word insemination. Thankfully is Aziz is such a champ that he never held it against me so we still catch-up to discuss the scene, generally over my renowned Gin Fizz Ansari.

 

Gin Fizz Ansari_1

 

I first took to Gin when I discovered it was the liquor of choice of all the best, depressive writers, and realised I was desperately in need of any and all help to hone my craft. Knowing this, I took my gin fizz –  all light, tart and refreshing – over to help while Aziz was writing his book and needless to say, he was a fan.

Boozing with the boys? Treat. Yo’. SELF.

 

Gin Fizz Ansari_2

 

Gin Fizz Ansari
Makes: 1

Ingredients
shot of gin (or two, no judgement)
15ml freshly squeezed lemon juice
pinch caster sugar
½ cup soda water
lemon slice, to serve

Method
Place gin, lemon juice, caster sugar and soda water in a cocktail shaker. Unlike the name and Bond’s preference stir, otherwise you may end up with an explosion and who can be bothered cleaning when you could be drinking?

Pour into a glass. Guzzle.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Snickerdoodle Offerman

Snack, Sweets, Treat Yo' Self Week

Let me just start by saying that Nick Offerman is an American Hero and a Saint.

I first met Nick through his wife and on-screen ex-wife, Megan Mullally Tammy 2 – I first connected with Megsy on the set of her first credit in Risky Business where I was working as Tom Cruise’s fluffer (oh the humanity). Given our penchant for peen and love of smutty humour, we quickly became best friends and I acted as Maid of Dishonour at her wedding to Nick Offerman, American Hero.

As soon as Megs met Nick I knew he was the one for her and despite an unbridled jealousy that he wasn’t attracted to me, I was able to contain my pain, anger and arousal enough to become his pal and confidante.

After starring in a disturbing number of films with Sandra Bullock, Annelie and I became heavily involved in shaping his career, leading to him collaborating with Megsy and landing his breakout role playing my ideal man Ron Swanson. While we pushed him in the direction of Parks as part of our shameless attempt to stalk and befriend Amy Poehler, it truly was the role of he was born to play.

Nick was only able to drop in for a short visit, what with him coming back to Australia early next year, but he always makes time for his best friends particularly given our love of Treat Yo’ Self Week. Plus, a Snickerdoodle Offerman is a pretty good way to sweeten the deal.

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman_1

 

We first whipped up these sweet delights to celebrate Parks’  second season renewal in honour of Ron and the strapping man, our friend, who played him.

The richness of the dark muscovado sugar and the whisky is perfectly cut by the salty bacon, making for the perfect biscuit fit for a Pawnee Parks Director.

Whiskey bacon snickerdoodles? TREAT. YO’. SELF.

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman_2

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman
Makes: 24.

Ingredients
3 rashers streaky bacon
3 tbsps whiskey, preferably Lagavulin
⅓  cup + 2 tbsp dark muscovado sugar
1 ⅔  cups plain flour
½  tsp ground nutmeg
¾  tsp baking powder
½  tsp salt
½  cup butter, at room temperature
2 tbsp caster sugar
1 large egg
1 tbsp cinnamon

Method
Finely dice the bacon, emphasis on finely, and cook in a small frypan over medium heat until crispy. When crispy, add 2 tbsp of whiskey and 2 tbsp of the muscovado and cook off until sticky and glorious. Leave to cool for about an hour.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Sift the flour, nutmeg, baking powder and salt into a medium bowl.

In a large bowl, cream the butter with the ⅓ cup sugar in a stand mixer on medium until light in texture and caramelly in colour. With the mixer still running, beat in the egg and  remaining whiskey.

Reduce speed to low and slowly combine in dry ingredients and the sticky bacon goop until you have a smooth, coherent mixture.

Place the caster sugar and cinnamon in a large bowl and quickly mix around.

With your hands, pinch out a meatball sized piece of dough and roll into balls between the palms of your hands. Roll in the cinnamon-sugar mixture and place on a large lined baking sheet. Obviously repeating the process until they are all done. There may be some cinnamon sugar left, but leave that for later.

Place the cookies in the oven and bake for roughly 15 minutes, or until they are golden brown. Remove them from the oven and leave to rest for a minute.

I am a cinnamon fiend, so at this point I re-roll the hot snickerdoodles in the cinnamon sugar and transfer to cool on a wire rack. Or you know, just devour immediate and treat yo’ self to some third-degree mouth burns.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Prettazels

Snack, Treat Yo' Self Week

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys – relax! Treat Yo’ Self Day is finally here again. Yep, that’s right everyone It’s Treat Yo’ Self Two-Thousand-Fifteen!

To mark such a wonderous occasion, we couldn’t look beyond a catch-up with the Queen of Treat Yo’ Self and in the future, the world, Re “Regal Meagle” tta.

I first befriended Retta online after joining together in a Twitter feud with Ashton Kutcher and connected in person on the Parks set when we travelled back in time to embed ourselves in the writer’s room to invent … the best day of the year!

Retta, like us, is a fan of the finer things in life and enjoys being a dominant force of awesomeness and as such, our bond was immediate as we owned the L.A. social scenes and feuded with and then befriended the Kardashians.

Retta has been quite busy since wrapping Parks and wanted to make the most of her time off from Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce (Andy, I know our relationship ended poorly but you know you want me to headline a Housewives series – Brisbane is pretty boozy) by relaxing with her closest friends and celebrating Treat Yo’ Self Week with our glorious, salty Prettazels.

 

Prettazels_1

 

Real, pretzels (you know, as genuine as one from a cart outside The Met can be) are literally the greatest thing in the world – pillowy on the inside, crisp on the outside and covered in salty, salty goodness that cures the blues of trudging through Time Square to avoid the paps on Fifth Ave.

One of the many lessons learnt from Seinfeld, is that Prettzels make you thirsty, so we made sure we had plenty of leftover Jimosas on hand.

Prettazels? Treat. Yo’. Self.

 

Prettazels_2

 

Prettazels
Makes: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup milk
7g dry yeast
3 tbsp packed light brown sugar
2 ¼ cups plain flour
30g butter, softened and diced
1 tsp fine salt
1 egg, beaten with a dash of milk
maldon salt flakes

Method
Warm the milk in a saucepan until it is roughly 50 C and pour into a large mixing bowl for a stand mixture. Sprinkle in the yeast and leave to bask in the warm milk bath for about 2 minutes before stirring in the brown sugar and 1 cup of the flour. Add the butter and stir into the mix. Add the remaining flour and the fine salt and knead in a stand mixer with dough hook for 3-5 minutes or until it is smooth yet a little bit sticky (who doesn’t love sticky buns – treat yo’ self). Shape into a ball and leave to prove, because don’t we all have something to prove, in a warm place, in a lightly oiled bowl and cover with cling wrap for about two to three hours.

While the dough is proving, preheat the oven to 220C.

Punch the dough back, in a non-aggressive manner, and divide into 6 pieces. Roll and stretch each piece with the palms of your hands into a 50cm(ish) rope shape before curling into a cirle shaping, knotting the ends over each other and pressing into the base (sorry, terrible description but just aim for a pretzel shape). I am pretty awful at the stretching process, so opted for a fatter more rustic style of pretzel, but there are videos showing you how to do it on YouTube that look like a Devo film-clip.

Place on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until all the dough has been used. Brush with the egg wash and sprinkle generously with salt flakes. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Eat as is, or dip in a mustard mayo for ultimate treat!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

The best day of the year

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Treat Yo' Self Week

As you would no doubt be aware (and if you’re not, thanks for the support but bye Felicia), this Tuesday we will be celebrating the best day of the year.

No, you have not been blackout drunk for two and a half months (Christmas isn’t a day, it is a season), we are of course referring to Treat Yo’ Self Day.

Annelie and I initially invented the day after watching the episode of Parks and Recreation, and jumping in the time machine, getting a job as staff writers of the acclaimed sitcom and pitching the idea moments before the actual genius.

How do we top fragrances, massages, fine leather goods and the shoes Jaden Smith wears in the soon to be green-lit Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch?

Oh, just you wait …

Picture source: NBC.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.