Funny People

Seth Rogen Josh

Main, Poultry

Seriously, I don’t think I’ve laughed this much in years. Like full on, deep, hearty Rogen-esque chuckles.

I’ve known my dear friend Seth since we were wee babes, well since just before we became men. You see Seth, Evan Goldberg and I attended the same bar mitzvah classes, became friends and commenced writing Superbad. It all went south, however, when they found out I wasn’t Jewish and was instead trying to find myself a boyfriend and join the moile high club.

Seth, loving his role as a (future) bear icon, didn’t mind however Evs was not thrilled and had my name struck from the Superbad script and hasn’t spoken to me since. Which, let’s be honest is a total dick move, since it puts our best friend Seth in a hella awkward place.

Given that Seth is so busy, I haven’t seen him since the premiere of Neighbours … where I caused a scene when Zac suggested we take a break. Which reminds me, that was another reason I haven’t seen Seth in years.

Thankfully, he is hella forgiving and understands that the thirst is real and Zefron floods my basement and that when Zef takes sex off the table, I go insane. After a quick apology, catch-up and subtle prying into whether he think Zef and I will get back together – FYI, he thinks there is hope for us – we sat down to a big bowl of his favourite Seth Rogen Josh.

 

 

Like Seth – and Zef, for that matter – this curry is hot, spicy and makes you feel unending joy when it is inside you, filling you up with its goodness. I got well distracted, didn’t I?

Oy – it is delicious, like Seth. Enjoy!

 

 

Seth Rogen Josh
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
thumb sized piece of fresh ginger, finely grated
4 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
vegetable oil
500g chicken breast or lamb shoulder, diced
5 whole cardamom pods
1 bay leaf
3 whole cloves
5 whole peppercorns
1 cinnamon sticks
2 onions, peeled and finely chopped
½ tsp ground coriander
1 tsp cumin seeds
2 tsp paprika
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp salt
¼ cup plain yogurt
¼ tsp garam masala
fresh ground pepper
fresh coriander, to garnish

Method
Put the ginger, garlic and ¼ cup water into food processor and blitz into a smooth paste.

Heat a lug of oil in a large pot over medium heat and lightly brown the meat. Remove from the pan and set aside.

Place the cardamom, bay leaves, cloves, peppercorns and cinnamon in the meaty oil and fry, stirring, until the cloves swell and your kitchen is fragrant. Add the onions, reduce heat to low and sweat for five minutes. Add the ginger/garlic paste and fry for a minute before adding the remaining spices and cooking for a further minute.

Return the meat – and all their juices – to the pan with the yoghurt and stir until combined and cook for a couple of minutes. Add a cup of water, bring to the boil and deglaze the pan. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for an hour, stirring occasionally.

At the end of the hour, remove the lid and turn the heat to medium to reduce the liquid to desired consistency.

Serve with rice, garnished with some fresh coriander and your favourite sides. I recommend raita, naan and pappadums … but it is up to you. I guess.

 

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Ain’t No Party Like a Sausage Party

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Have I ever told you about the time I did good in the world?

Probs not – it was back in 2014 and I convinced my boys Ben Affleck and Seth Rogen to speak at two Senate committee meetings. It is so rare that I do something good that I forgot until Benny Aff reminded me last week.

Wanting to kind of marinate in the smug feeling I had, I reached out to Seth and thankfully he was hella keen to catch up and reconnect.

What says you’re a dear friend and I love that I can openly lust after you?

Image source: Gary Miller/Getty Images.

 

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Strawberry Plaza Jam

Condiment, Dip

One of, nay, the greatest tragedy of celebrating Treat. Yo. Self.’ Week last year, is that I couldn’t fit in catch-ups with the entire cast, who I am extremely close with.

Now before you start hurling insults at me like I’m Larry Garry Jerry Barry Terry Gergich, please understand that cuts had to be made last year and people like my beloved Aubrey Plaza missed the cut (I went with full-fledged, paid season 1 Parks Department employees and sadly as an intern, she missed my cut).

Aubrey is one of my closest friends and despite her surly demeanour, wasn’t bothered by my slight at all.

I first connected with Aubrey in the very-early 90s, when I was touring Delaware trying to launch my comedy career. While it failed, on account of the fact I had one joke and it required me to be in a restaurant … in Delaware – Delaware the hell is my waiter? – I ran into Aubrey and we were bonded by our general disgust for people and interacting with them.

We spent our time sullenly around Wilmington (not that one) until inspiring the PTB at MTV to create a show based on our exploits. And that, my friends, is how Daria was born (as you expected)?

Aubs and I try to get together and smack talk as often as possible, over something sweet enough to cut through the acid we are spewing … meaning my Strawberry Plaza Jam is always the perfect accompaniment.

 

strawberry-plaza-jam-1

 

At the risk of putting my neck out, I am one of those rare people that dislike strawberries as the seeds feel weird on your tongue (this led to me believing a chef’s request for me to de-seed a strawberry) and the fake flavour is just foul. I can’t however, go past a good strawberry jam (and freeze-dried strawberries too but they weren’t a thing when I was making my toddler judgments); sticky, sweet and rich, there is something about them all softened that makes me like them.

I assume it is all the sugar. Enjoy!

 

strawberry-plaza-jam-2

 

Strawberry Plaza Jam
Makes: Up to 2 cups.

Ingredients
1kg strawberries
1kg sugar
1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out

Method
Hull the strawberries and place in a heavy based saucepan with the sugar and bring to the boil over a medium heat, stirring constantly.

When the mixture starts to bubble add the vanilla, gradually turn the heat up and cook for 15-20 minutes, stirring constantly until it turns shiny and sticky. Trust your gut with the jam, you’re better off under cooking the jam as without pectin it takes longer to cook … which in turn can make it closer to a toffee, than a jam.

Remove from heat and ladle into sterilised jars and leave to cool. Seal and refrigerate.

 

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Gin Fizz Ansari

Drink, Treat Yo' Self Week

Every Queen, like Retta and myself, must have a King and you can not celebrate Treat Yo’ Self Week without its’ King, our dear friend and kindred bling spirit, Aziz Ansari.

I first connected with Aziz when we travelled back in time to join the Parks writer’s room in 2009 where I became his pet project where he tried to make my unending confidence and love of pop culture and excess likeable – or in the likeness of Tom Haverford.

Aziz, bless him, didn’t realise how hard that task would be – what with my passion for feuding and acid throwing – but he was committed to the project and by 2012 had succeed in making me a barely functioning adult that was tolerated in society.

Following Aziz’s success in transforming my life, we had planned to take the self-improvement system/cult global and rip of millions of people however Aziz being Aziz, was too successful selling out The Garden, writing books and starring in a hit sitcom to continue with the scheme.

Oh, plus he is super nice and thought the cult aspects I was pushing were wrong. Whatevs.

Being renowned foodies, Aziz and I try to stay abreast of the best on the scene – fun fact, I was an integral part of the insemination of The Food Club, however was disbarred after I misunderstood the context of the word insemination. Thankfully is Aziz is such a champ that he never held it against me so we still catch-up to discuss the scene, generally over my renowned Gin Fizz Ansari.

 

Gin Fizz Ansari_1

 

I first took to Gin when I discovered it was the liquor of choice of all the best, depressive writers, and realised I was desperately in need of any and all help to hone my craft. Knowing this, I took my gin fizz –  all light, tart and refreshing – over to help while Aziz was writing his book and needless to say, he was a fan.

Boozing with the boys? Treat. Yo’. SELF.

 

Gin Fizz Ansari_2

 

Gin Fizz Ansari
Makes: 1

Ingredients
shot of gin (or two, no judgement)
15ml freshly squeezed lemon juice
pinch caster sugar
½ cup soda water
lemon slice, to serve

Method
Place gin, lemon juice, caster sugar and soda water in a cocktail shaker. Unlike the name and Bond’s preference stir, otherwise you may end up with an explosion and who can be bothered cleaning when you could be drinking?

Pour into a glass. Guzzle.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.