Zac Efriands

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Side, Snack, Sweets

Holy hell, am I emotionally spent from my time with my friend come ex come *spoiler alert* friend again, Zachary David Alexander Efron. So as you know, my dear friend Corbin Bleu came up with a foolproof three-point plan to facilitate a reconciliation between Zac and I, but I never shared what it was … and it will blow your mind with its intricacy.

1. Call Zac on the phone and tell him I want to have him over to talk about where we left things.
2. Apologise for any of the nastiness I caused (minimal, but sure).
3. Listen to his feelings and accept that maybe he is hurt, vowing to move on if you’re both willing to forgive.

Seriously – have you ever read such a wild plan? And more importantly, would you ever, in a million years, think that it would work?

I am shook, still.

I first met Zac in 2004 while visiting my then boyfriends Jesse McCartney and Ryan Kwanten – I was in a polyamorous phase – and my dear friend Merrin Dungey on the set of Summerland, and we quickly bonded over our love of theatre and surfing. As I oft do, I knew that he was destined for greatness, dropped Jess and vowed to make him a star.

Two years later, I made good on said promise when I cast him in High School Musical. The rest, as they say, is history … but I assume you’d like to know that part of that history involved him thanking me with two years of passionate kissing and tender love-making.

Then tragedy struck when he opted to star in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. I was livid, we broke it off immediately and we haven’t spoken since. (Despite the best efforts of my dear Sethy Roges).

While it was quite awkward to start, my constant run-ins with the law and multiple Hollywood feuds have seemingly given me the ability to deliver an apology that appears genuine and he forgave me for all that I’d done. He also apologised, but for nothing specific. While I found that odd, a quick Google search supports his claim that he never dragged me through the tabloids.

With that as proof, I kindly forgave him for all the pain that he caused and we caught each other up on life and laughed about the good old days … of my famed Zac Efriands.

 

 

Tart, earthy and sickeningly sweet, these delicate beauties are the perfect thing to facilitate meaningful reconciliation and solve all your problems. Take that, banana bread!

Enjoy!

 

 

Zac Efriands
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
200g icing sugar
⅓ cup flour
1 ⅔ cups almond meal
3 lemons, zested and juiced
200g unsalted butter, melted
6 egg whites
2 tbsp poppy seeds
¾ cup raw caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C and grease a 12-hole friand pan.

Sift the icing sugar, flour and almond meal into a mixing bowl. Slowly incorporate the zest, melted butter, egg whites and poppy seeds, until just combined.

Spoon mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until puffed, golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven and cool in the pan for five minutes, before turning out and cooling completely.

When you’re almost ready to serve, combine the lemon juice and raw caster sugar in a saucepan over medium heat and stir until dissolved. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for ten minutes or until slightly thickened.

Prick the friands – ahhhh, the memories with Zac – and poor over the sweet tangy liquid, filling up the friands – again, memories.

Devour immediately.

 

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Babewatch

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I am so, so nervous.

Turns out my mate Corbs is a miracle worker and my ex Zac Efron is on his way to try and put an end to our feud.

What am I going to say? How am I going to feel? Will his ever expanding guns stir old feelings? Am I able to ask him to strip off and do the Baywatch run? Oh, and obvi, what the hell am I going to make to sweeten the deal?

The deal being our friendship.

Image source: Still from Baywatch.

 

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Strawberry Plaza Jam

Condiment, Dip

One of, nay, the greatest tragedy of celebrating Treat. Yo. Self.’ Week last year, is that I couldn’t fit in catch-ups with the entire cast, who I am extremely close with.

Now before you start hurling insults at me like I’m Larry Garry Jerry Barry Terry Gergich, please understand that cuts had to be made last year and people like my beloved Aubrey Plaza missed the cut (I went with full-fledged, paid season 1 Parks Department employees and sadly as an intern, she missed my cut).

Aubrey is one of my closest friends and despite her surly demeanour, wasn’t bothered by my slight at all.

I first connected with Aubrey in the very-early 90s, when I was touring Delaware trying to launch my comedy career. While it failed, on account of the fact I had one joke and it required me to be in a restaurant … in Delaware – Delaware the hell is my waiter? – I ran into Aubrey and we were bonded by our general disgust for people and interacting with them.

We spent our time sullenly around Wilmington (not that one) until inspiring the PTB at MTV to create a show based on our exploits. And that, my friends, is how Daria was born (as you expected)?

Aubs and I try to get together and smack talk as often as possible, over something sweet enough to cut through the acid we are spewing … meaning my Strawberry Plaza Jam is always the perfect accompaniment.

 

strawberry-plaza-jam-1

 

At the risk of putting my neck out, I am one of those rare people that dislike strawberries as the seeds feel weird on your tongue (this led to me believing a chef’s request for me to de-seed a strawberry) and the fake flavour is just foul. I can’t however, go past a good strawberry jam (and freeze-dried strawberries too but they weren’t a thing when I was making my toddler judgments); sticky, sweet and rich, there is something about them all softened that makes me like them.

I assume it is all the sugar. Enjoy!

 

strawberry-plaza-jam-2

 

Strawberry Plaza Jam
Makes: Up to 2 cups.

Ingredients
1kg strawberries
1kg sugar
1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out

Method
Hull the strawberries and place in a heavy based saucepan with the sugar and bring to the boil over a medium heat, stirring constantly.

When the mixture starts to bubble add the vanilla, gradually turn the heat up and cook for 15-20 minutes, stirring constantly until it turns shiny and sticky. Trust your gut with the jam, you’re better off under cooking the jam as without pectin it takes longer to cook … which in turn can make it closer to a toffee, than a jam.

Remove from heat and ladle into sterilised jars and leave to cool. Seal and refrigerate.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.