Zac Efriands

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Side, Snack, Sweets

Holy hell, am I emotionally spent from my time with my friend come ex come *spoiler alert* friend again, Zachary David Alexander Efron. So as you know, my dear friend Corbin Bleu came up with a foolproof three-point plan to facilitate a reconciliation between Zac and I, but I never shared what it was … and it will blow your mind with its intricacy.

1. Call Zac on the phone and tell him I want to have him over to talk about where we left things.
2. Apologise for any of the nastiness I caused (minimal, but sure).
3. Listen to his feelings and accept that maybe he is hurt, vowing to move on if you’re both willing to forgive.

Seriously – have you ever read such a wild plan? And more importantly, would you ever, in a million years, think that it would work?

I am shook, still.

I first met Zac in 2004 while visiting my then boyfriends Jesse McCartney and Ryan Kwanten – I was in a polyamorous phase – and my dear friend Merrin Dungey on the set of Summerland, and we quickly bonded over our love of theatre and surfing. As I oft do, I knew that he was destined for greatness, dropped Jess and vowed to make him a star.

Two years later, I made good on said promise when I cast him in High School Musical. The rest, as they say, is history … but I assume you’d like to know that part of that history involved him thanking me with two years of passionate kissing and tender love-making.

Then tragedy struck when he opted to star in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. I was livid, we broke it off immediately and we haven’t spoken since. (Despite the best efforts of my dear Sethy Roges).

While it was quite awkward to start, my constant run-ins with the law and multiple Hollywood feuds have seemingly given me the ability to deliver an apology that appears genuine and he forgave me for all that I’d done. He also apologised, but for nothing specific. While I found that odd, a quick Google search supports his claim that he never dragged me through the tabloids.

With that as proof, I kindly forgave him for all the pain that he caused and we caught each other up on life and laughed about the good old days … of my famed Zac Efriands.

 

 

Tart, earthy and sickeningly sweet, these delicate beauties are the perfect thing to facilitate meaningful reconciliation and solve all your problems. Take that, banana bread!

Enjoy!

 

 

Zac Efriands
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
200g icing sugar
⅓ cup flour
1 ⅔ cups almond meal
3 lemons, zested and juiced
200g unsalted butter, melted
6 egg whites
2 tbsp poppy seeds
¾ cup raw caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C and grease a 12-hole friand pan.

Sift the icing sugar, flour and almond meal into a mixing bowl. Slowly incorporate the zest, melted butter, egg whites and poppy seeds, until just combined.

Spoon mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until puffed, golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven and cool in the pan for five minutes, before turning out and cooling completely.

When you’re almost ready to serve, combine the lemon juice and raw caster sugar in a saucepan over medium heat and stir until dissolved. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for ten minutes or until slightly thickened.

Prick the friands – ahhhh, the memories with Zac – and poor over the sweet tangy liquid, filling up the friands – again, memories.

Devour immediately.

 

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Babewatch

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I am so, so nervous.

Turns out my mate Corbs is a miracle worker and my ex Zac Efron is on his way to try and put an end to our feud.

What am I going to say? How am I going to feel? Will his ever expanding guns stir old feelings? Am I able to ask him to strip off and do the Baywatch run? Oh, and obvi, what the hell am I going to make to sweeten the deal?

The deal being our friendship.

Image source: Still from Baywatch.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Allibacon Janndeluxe

Burgers, Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant

With our Drop Dead Gorgeous celebrations over, I knew I needed to pull out the big guns as we move into the Fourth of July. And there truly is no big gun, of acting, than seven-time Emmy winner and five-time SAG Award winner – and most importantly, one of my closest friends – Allison Janney.

Speaking of Al, I have a major confession to make that even she doesn’t know – I’ve never seen The West Wing aka the show that won her first four Emmys. While it is super awkward for me to pretend like I’ve seen it all the damn time, I do it for her because I love her … and I will eventually get to it, you know?

I first met Ali while attending Kenyon College together, where we studied under the tutelage of Paul Newman who encouraged us both to continue with the craft. While I left her around the late 80s/early 90s to work on Bev Hills 90210, she caught my eye again in Miracle on 34th Street and I made it my job to get her an EGOT.

While the Oscar eluded her for her performance in Ang’s The Ice Storm, I assumed DDG would finally snatch her the gold for her hilarious performance as Loretta. It was not have panned out, but I did introduce her to Sorki and get her those Es, so it worked out.

We haven’t been able to hang out in a while thanks to her busy schedule with Mom, so it was perfect that our celebrations coincided with the Summer break. She is such a doll and we had the best time – that’s not even including the fact she asked me to play her long lost son / Anna Faris’ brother on the show – reconnecting. Particularly since I made her favourite burgs – my Allibacon Janndeluxe.

 

 

Does the name flow off the tongue? Fuck no. Does it even resemble a pun? Of course not … but this burger is legit. Based on one of two reasons to venture to Hungry Jack’s, the Bacon Deluxe – the other being the onion rings – is quite possibly the best Australian fast-food burger. Crispy bacon, creamy mayo, melting cheese and a kick of onion? Perfection.

Now I guess you’re only got one reason to head to Hungry Jack’s … soz guys! Enjoy!

 

 

Allibacon Janndeluxe
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
8 rashers bacon
4 Kirsten Bunst
8 slices American cheese
iceberg lettuce, roughly chopped
2 tomatoes, sliced
mayonnaise

Method
Squeeze out as much liquid from the mince as possible and transfer to a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch it all together and divide into 8 balls, shaping each into patties.

Heat a large skillet over high heat, reducing to low when scorching. Fry each patty for about 10 minutes, flipping once. At the same time, cook the bacon until crisp.

To assemble the burgers, split the buns and place a patty on the bottom. Top with a slice of cheese, a second patty and the remaining cheese. Add the bacon, tomato, lettuce and a dickload of mayo. Then, devour … if you can wait that long.

 

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Harvey Fiersteamed Buns

Main, Party Food, Snack, Tony Gold, Tony Gold: Hamilgold

As we move into the second half of our inaugural Tony Gold celebrations, I knew I had to go with some even bigger Tony Awards legends and there is no one more legendary when it comes to the multi-hatted Harvey Fierstein.

I honestly don’t even know where to start about my dear friend Harvey Fierstein, the man can do just about anyoneanything and truly is a Broadway legend. I mean, he’s won Tony’s for acting and Best Play and for writing the books of musical, there aren’t many of my friends that can say they’ve achieved more. Which is a huge part of why we’re friends, as I assume you suspected.

I first met Harve’s through my dear friend Andy Warhol – I was one of his muses – when he came in to audition for his play Pork. While I was ropeable that Andy didn’t hand me the part, I begrudgingly knew that Harves was the better man for the job and instead of tearing him down, hitched my wagon to his for inevitable fame and fortune.

Fun fact: he wrote the roles of Alan and David in the Torch Song Trilogy in honour of our love affair and my childish attitude, respectively.

Given the fact that he can do pretty much anything on Broadway, I decided to wrote the best book of a musical and best production odds, so buckle in. For the book, it seems to be a two horse race between Dear Evan Hansen and Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812, the edge I give to the former and Harves gives to the latter. For the plays, we agreed on Six Degrees and of Separation and A Doll’s House, Part 2 taking the gold, with the musical gongs going to Hello, Dolly – never bet against Bette – and Dear Evan Hansen, despite Come from Away taking out the Drama Desk.

Given the conversation was robust, I couldn’t go past whipping up our old favourite post-coital meal, Harvey Fiersteamed Bun.

 

 

There is a lot I could say about Harve and my passion for a tempting, hot bun but these are far and away the best ones we want to have in our mouths to devour. I mean, steamed buns are amazing – they even ended my feud with the artist formerly known as Cumberbitch – but have you ever had a mexican themed one? Because they’re amazing. A light, fluffy cornbread enclosing a piping hot chilli and gooey cheese? Sign me the hell up.

Enjoy!

 

 

Harvey Fiersteamed Buns
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1-2 cups of Chilli con Kim Carnes
7g active dry yeast
1 cup warm water
1 cup plain flour
1 cup cornmeal
1 cup cornstarch, talk about corny
¼ cup raw caster sugar
¼ cup canola oil
2 ½ tsp baking powder
grated cheese

Method
Start out by whipping up the Chilli con Kim Carnes, remove the two cups required and cook a little bit further to get rid of as much liquid as possible. Remove from the heat and allow to cool while you carry on, not necessarily calmly, with the dough.

Combine the yeast and warm water in the large bowl of a stand mixer before adding the flour, cornmeal and cornstarch, stirring with the dough hook to kinda combine / avoid a kitchen resembling an anthrax scare. Place the dough hook in the mixer and mix on the lowest setting. Slowly add the sugar and oil and continue mixing until a smooth ball forms. Remove, cover with a damp cloth and allow to prove for a couple of hours.

As its had a chance to prove itself, add the baking powder and return to the mixer on low for a couple of minutes. At this point it may be looking a bit dry since the cornmeal acts like a sponge, so add a couple of tablespoons to keep it smooth and soft … but not sticky. Nice and simple instructions, no? Once the dough is smooth, cover with the damp cloth again and allow to prove for half an hour.

While the dough is proving, cut out 12, 10-15cm squares of baking paper. Once the dough has proven itself again, punch it back and divide into 12 equal balls. Press each into a 15cm wide disc and place on a piece of baking paper. Place 1-2 tablespoons of filling in the middle of each disc with a pinch of cheese before pulling the edges in to enclose like a bun.

Once the buns are prepared, bring a pot of water to water with a steamer over the top. Once the water is going off like a frog in a sock, add 3-4 buns and steam for 10-15 minutes, or until puffed, fluffy and gorgeous. Repeat the process until they are done.

Once you’re ready, serve with any combination of chilli sauce, sour cream or guacamole and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Haylie Duffoutis

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Ok – so let me start by clearing up the family connection Annelie and I have with the Duffs, and by that I mean that yes it is a scam … but the Duff girls, as yet, are unaware. Ipso facto, this week’s date was all about us sisters, doing it for themselves.

Which coincidentally is the song that I convinced Hayls to record as a girl-group with our younger twin sisters Hizza and Annelie. Oh … and for some reason, Hayls thinks I’m genderfluid and it may be because that was the only way I could convince her to finally join forces on the forthcoming album Up the Duffs.

I should get on with this though, shouldn’t I?

As you know, I thought I got my now-faux-sister fired from 7th Heaven as a way to bed Simon Camden both on and off screen … but turns out, she actually stuck around until the end. And here I was thinking she had the patience of a saint! Despite the fact she didn’t forgive me for the sacking that didn’t occur, she is still the absolute sweetest and it just seems like the kind of thing she would do.

Hayls was so excited to be catching up and desperately tried to braid my inch-long hair, pillow fight and swap clothes, in an attempt to make up for the sister time we’d missed out on in childhood.

I mean, it was so adorable and delightful that I almost felt bad for continuing the scam … but then I whipped up a Haylie Duffoutis and came to my senses on a full stomach.

 

 

Like her sister, Hayls is so sweet that I can’t bring myself to cook her anything but dessert and this one takes the cake. Despite, ironically – maybe, I don’t know, ask Alanis – the fact this is not a cake … but something far, far better.

Clafoutis may not be classy – some would argue it is peasant food – but who cares about class when you have sour cherries dotted into a baked custard-esque dough/cake/batter/however you’d describe it.

In any event, enjoy!

 

 

Haylie Duffoutis
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup milk
4 eggs
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp butter, melted
½ cup plain flour
2 cups pitted morello cherries, drained

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Whisk together the milk, eggs, sugar, vanilla and butter until well combined and the sugar dissolved. Add the flour and whisk until smooth.

Pour the batter into a 30cm pie dish, scatter over the cherries and bake in the oven for 30-45 minutes, or until puffed and golden.

Serve immediately with a dusting of icing sugar or some fresh cream.

And obvi, devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr.

Our lips un-sealed

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to top my musical dynasty’s visits for the year with Carnie, I got a call – completely out of the blue – from my dear, dear Haylie Duff.

As you know, Annelie and I have a very long and confusing history with the Duff clan. I mean, I can’t even remember if we are truly Hiz and Hayl’s long lost twins, or whether it is a very long con that we are playing.

In any event, Hayl’s still thinks I am her 7-minute-younger-and-far-more-Hebraic-slash-bushy-browed-twin bro and she was hella keen to have a bit of family time, swap recipes and just do what fam does.

So what do I make for the dear friend I am scamming … or the dear sister I will probably scab off when my life next derails?

Image source: Asian Food Channel.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr.