Kilpatrick Warbeantons

12 days of Festivus for the rest of us, Side

While I have to try and spread out the core four in our 12 days of Festivus celebrations – you know, after catching up with Jase, Heidi, Barney, Liz, Wayne and Michael – and today doesn’t feature one of them, Patrick Warburton sure does tick the box for an awesome dinner companion.

I first met Pat whilst a part of Jamie Lee Curtis’ entourage. He was guesting on her allegedly hit sitcom Anything But Love in the early ‘90s. The title, of course, acted as a massive irony as we fell deeply in love. While it didn’t work out, we remained the closest of friends and I vowed to make his barry-tones famous.

When the role of Puddy came up, I knew he was the only person for the part. They were casting The Tick, I gave him a call. Walt needed someone to carry The Emperor’s New Groove with Eartha Kitt, I (made sure he) was there, like the Baywatch team would have you believe.

Given the fact he’s been super busy with A Series of Unfortunate Events, Pat and I haven’t been able to see of much as each other as we’d like. It was such a treat to be able to take the time, at festivus, to reconnect and reminisce over the supporting embrace of my star supporting player, Kilpatrick Warbeantons.

 

 

Oysters, natures snot, make me feel sick but I must admit, the concept of kilpatrick makes them sounds marginally more appealing. But I mean, how exactly can you go wrong by adding bacon and/or cheese to any occasion. The answer is, you can’t.

Enjoy!

 

 

Kilpatrick Warbeantons
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
4 rashers streaky bacon, finely diced
500g beans, top and tailed
2 tbsp passata
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp Tabasco
salt and pepper, to taste
3 tbsp parmesan, finely grated

Method
Heat a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon until crispy. Remove the bacon from the pan and drain the oil on some kitchen towel.

Add the beans to the greasy pan and cook, stirring, until vibrant in colour but still crunchy.

Remove from the heat, toss through the passata, Worcestershire and Tabasco with a good whack of salt and pepper. Transfer to a bowl, top with bacon and parmesan, and devour, giddily.

 

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Thai Chicken Meatburrells

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Game of Golds, Main, Poultry

Tragedy – emmy gold only has another day after today. So two days, for people that struggle with basic maths. Anyway you should thankful, knowing that you’ve got to experience my extremely close connections with these stars AND the fact that my boy Ty Burrell came through with the goods and finally invited me to the Emmys as his date.

I’ve known Ty for close to two decades, after meeting through my friend Eric Bana and torrid lover Josh Hartnett on the set of Black Hawk Down. Between coming up for air from Josh and cracking jokes with Eric about kick-boxing, 24 hours, a day, I found Ty and we bonded over our small town upbringings and inherently funny personalities.

Given Modern Family completely changed his life, Ty and I haven’t been able to hang out as often as we’d like, so he just jumped at the opportunity to have me drop by, catch-up and help run the odds. And offer up his plus one, since I can’t go with Kit Harington this year.

Anyway, while I was very supportive and told him that there is no way anyone would beat him for supporting actor … we all know Alec Baldwin will take it, while Tituss Burgess deserves it. Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series, however, is probably the most difficult for me to pick. I firmly believe it is a two man race between Aziz and Donald. Since I’ve split writing and directing between the boys, I’m also feeling Actor and Outstanding Comedy will be divided between the two. While I prefer Master of None, I feel Atlanta is poised for most Outstanding Comedy and as such my boy Aziz is going to deliver a hella cute acceptance speech where he can’t believe it all happened.

After that, I was feeling hella confused – picture me as the meme of the woman thinking in priz – so Ty and I needed something warming and hearty to sort out my equilibrium, so I whipped him up a batch of my Thai Chicken Meatburrells.

 

 

Fresh, spicy and packing a whole lot of heat, these babies are the perfect thing to wake you up, soothing your soul and, if you’ve got a sensitive, clear out your system as a pre-show detox. But seriously, these are amazing.

Enjoy!

 

 

Thai Chicken Meatburrells
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
2 tbsp red curry paste
2 tsp minced ginger
5 garlic cloves, minced
½ cup breadcrumbs
small handful of coriander, roughly chopped, plus extra to serve
2 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp soy sauce
1 lime, zest and juice
salt and pepper, to taste
2 carrots, julienned
1 can coconut milk
2 cups chicken stock
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
3 red chillis, thinly sliced
½ cup baby corn
¼ cup salted peanuts, roughly chopped
rice noodles, to serve

Method
Combine the mince with 1 ½ tsp red curry paste, minced ginger, 2 cloves of garlic, coriander, 1 tbsp of fish and soy sauces, lime zest and a good whack of salt and pepper. Form into walnut sized balls and place on a lined baking sheet, cover and chill in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Meanwhile, heat a lug of vegetable oil for in a large frying pan and quickly fry the remaining garlic for a minute. Add the carrots and remaining curry paste and cook for a further minute or so. Add in the coconut milk, chicken stock, remaining fish and soy sauces, sugar and chillis, and stir to combine.

Gently add the meatballs one by one, and cook, half-covered for about fifteen minutes, or until they’re poached all the way through. While the balls are cooking, cook the rice noodles as per packet instructions.

Once the balls are ready and you’re kitchen is smelling … a-ma-zing, add the baby corn and lime juice, stirring to combine as you cook for a couple of minutes further.

Remove from the heat and serve over a bed of noodles, top with some extra coriander and peanuts. Then, devour.

 

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Allibacon Janndeluxe

Burgers, Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant

With our Drop Dead Gorgeous celebrations over, I knew I needed to pull out the big guns as we move into the Fourth of July. And there truly is no big gun, of acting, than seven-time Emmy winner and five-time SAG Award winner – and most importantly, one of my closest friends – Allison Janney.

Speaking of Al, I have a major confession to make that even she doesn’t know – I’ve never seen The West Wing aka the show that won her first four Emmys. While it is super awkward for me to pretend like I’ve seen it all the damn time, I do it for her because I love her … and I will eventually get to it, you know?

I first met Ali while attending Kenyon College together, where we studied under the tutelage of Paul Newman who encouraged us both to continue with the craft. While I left her around the late 80s/early 90s to work on Bev Hills 90210, she caught my eye again in Miracle on 34th Street and I made it my job to get her an EGOT.

While the Oscar eluded her for her performance in Ang’s The Ice Storm, I assumed DDG would finally snatch her the gold for her hilarious performance as Loretta. It was not have panned out, but I did introduce her to Sorki and get her those Es, so it worked out.

We haven’t been able to hang out in a while thanks to her busy schedule with Mom, so it was perfect that our celebrations coincided with the Summer break. She is such a doll and we had the best time – that’s not even including the fact she asked me to play her long lost son / Anna Faris’ brother on the show – reconnecting. Particularly since I made her favourite burgs – my Allibacon Janndeluxe.

 

 

Does the name flow off the tongue? Fuck no. Does it even resemble a pun? Of course not … but this burger is legit. Based on one of two reasons to venture to Hungry Jack’s, the Bacon Deluxe – the other being the onion rings – is quite possibly the best Australian fast-food burger. Crispy bacon, creamy mayo, melting cheese and a kick of onion? Perfection.

Now I guess you’re only got one reason to head to Hungry Jack’s … soz guys! Enjoy!

 

 

Allibacon Janndeluxe
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
8 rashers bacon
4 Kirsten Bunst
8 slices American cheese
iceberg lettuce, roughly chopped
2 tomatoes, sliced
mayonnaise

Method
Squeeze out as much liquid from the mince as possible and transfer to a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch it all together and divide into 8 balls, shaping each into patties.

Heat a large skillet over high heat, reducing to low when scorching. Fry each patty for about 10 minutes, flipping once. At the same time, cook the bacon until crisp.

To assemble the burgers, split the buns and place a patty on the bottom. Top with a slice of cheese, a second patty and the remaining cheese. Add the bacon, tomato, lettuce and a dickload of mayo. Then, devour … if you can wait that long.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.