Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Hannimal Style Furess

Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Side, Snack, Street Food, Vegetarian

I thought I was feeling strong, but the close it gets to finale day – three days, ya’ll – it is getting harder and harder to keep an upbeat tone while I prepared to say farewell to the majestic Broad City. (Just ask Abbi and Art)! Which makes it super convenient that Hannibal Buress dropped by, as the man is hilarious.

I mean, he hired a lookalike to attend a film premiere in his place because he couldn’t be bothered going himself. That is a baller, iconic move and I love it.

I’ve known Hannibal for years and years, after meeting in the writers room of another tragically finished show 30 Rock. While his tenure there wasn’t long, his exit coincided with one of my bannings from NBC and he kindly took me under his wing and let me be his hype guy.

Tragically I failed at that job too – apparently hyping oneself isn’t what the job entails – so I was allowed to just hang in his entourage and live my best life.

Maybe I inspire him to send a stand-in to the premiere?

It was so much fun to have a little bit of time with Hannibal and to honour Lincoln and his passion for better dental care. Fun fact: it was actually my suggestion he be a dentist, as a tribute to my grandfather.

Something that isn’t so great on teeth, however, are my copycat Hannimal Style Furess. But we won’t tell Lincoln, ok?

 

 

You know I have a passion for In’N’Out and given their Australian pop-ups never seem to come Brisbane, I have to DIY. Which TBH is both a blessing and a curse because now I can inhale animal style fries as often as I like, in bulk like quantities without judgement. And now you can too.

So enjoy!

 

 

Hannimal Style Furess
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
olive oil
2 onions, diced
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
2 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp sweet pickle/gherkin relish
½ tsp champagne vinegar
4 slices American Cheese

Method
Cook the fries as per Jud’s recipe.

Meanwhile heat a lug of oil in a saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onions for five minutes before reducing to low and caramelising for half an hour or so, adding a small amount of water if needed to deglaze the pan.

Finally mix the mayo, ketchup, pickle and champagne vinegar in a jug and whisk to combine.

To assemble, place the fries in a bowl, sprinkle with caramelised onion, followed by slices of American cheese and finally topping with copious amounts of sauce.

Devour immediately, with a bestie … or without.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Ab-BEC Jacobson

Breakfast, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Main, Snack, Street Food

To be completely honest with you, it was an agonising decision to have to pick between the two kweens of Broad City, as I count down to its heartbreaking, soul shaking, crushing end this week. The choice, I imagine, would be like trying to pick one’s favourite phone wig.

In any event, I had to make my choice like Sophie, and I settled on the hand-shaking icon that is the one Miss Abbi Jacobson.

I’ve been a close friend of both broads since they’re time at UCB, and shocked even myself, when I didn’t cut them from my life as soon as they opted to produce Broad City without me. They’re reason making so much sense, in that I, their teacher, could intimidate the with my talent.

But this is about my glorious bond with Ab, so I need to get back on track. As an avid, half-arsed videographer, we bonded when she put her MICA training to use by trying to give me some tricks of the trade. While most people would call me a lost cause, Abs pushed through and for that I am forever grateful.

While I had my guard up and was pretty grumpy when she arrived at my door – the phrase, “you and Ilana have betrayed me by ending the show on a high note, on your own terms,” may have been uttered – she quickly softened the blow by reminding me that the episodes will live on forever. And by promising me that they will give me in character skypes each month.

With that, I no longer held it against her and was strong enough to toast their success with a freshly toasted, Broad City approved Ab-BEC Jacobson.

 

 

The gals have oft extolled the virtues of a bodega sandwich, but TBH, I was always too terrified to try one given the fact I only stumbled into bodegas to get beer and use extremely flawed ATMs. But one time Abs took me by force and I fell in love. While I am tragically bodega-less in Brisbane, this little home-job sure makes me feel like I’m back in the boroughs. Salty, gooey and oh so warming – can you tell I’m under a really cold air-con vent right now? – this bagel is near perfection.

Like Broad City. Enjoy!

 

 

Ab-BEC Jacobson
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
6 rashers streaky bacon
2 Beygel Knowles, split
4 slices American cheese
4 eggs, lightly whisked with a good whack of salt and pepper

Method
Place a skillet over medium heat until nice and hot. Add the bacon and cook, flipping once, until glorious and crisp. Remove from the pan to drain on some kitchen paper.

Add the bagels to pan, split side down, and cook for a couple of minutes, or until they’re golden and crisp on the inside. Remove from the pan and line the bottom half with three rashers of bacon each and a slice of cheese.

Finally pour the eggs into the pan and cook, folding on top of itself, until just set. Immediately place on top of the bacon and cheese. Another another slice of cheese, just because, and close up sandy.

Devour immediately, with a mixture of BEC joy and Broad City abandonment issues.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Zac Efriands

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Side, Snack, Sweets

Holy hell, am I emotionally spent from my time with my friend come ex come *spoiler alert* friend again, Zachary David Alexander Efron. So as you know, my dear friend Corbin Bleu came up with a foolproof three-point plan to facilitate a reconciliation between Zac and I, but I never shared what it was … and it will blow your mind with its intricacy.

1. Call Zac on the phone and tell him I want to have him over to talk about where we left things.
2. Apologise for any of the nastiness I caused (minimal, but sure).
3. Listen to his feelings and accept that maybe he is hurt, vowing to move on if you’re both willing to forgive.

Seriously – have you ever read such a wild plan? And more importantly, would you ever, in a million years, think that it would work?

I am shook, still.

I first met Zac in 2004 while visiting my then boyfriends Jesse McCartney and Ryan Kwanten – I was in a polyamorous phase – and my dear friend Merrin Dungey on the set of Summerland, and we quickly bonded over our love of theatre and surfing. As I oft do, I knew that he was destined for greatness, dropped Jess and vowed to make him a star.

Two years later, I made good on said promise when I cast him in High School Musical. The rest, as they say, is history … but I assume you’d like to know that part of that history involved him thanking me with two years of passionate kissing and tender love-making.

Then tragedy struck when he opted to star in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. I was livid, we broke it off immediately and we haven’t spoken since. (Despite the best efforts of my dear Sethy Roges).

While it was quite awkward to start, my constant run-ins with the law and multiple Hollywood feuds have seemingly given me the ability to deliver an apology that appears genuine and he forgave me for all that I’d done. He also apologised, but for nothing specific. While I found that odd, a quick Google search supports his claim that he never dragged me through the tabloids.

With that as proof, I kindly forgave him for all the pain that he caused and we caught each other up on life and laughed about the good old days … of my famed Zac Efriands.

 

 

Tart, earthy and sickeningly sweet, these delicate beauties are the perfect thing to facilitate meaningful reconciliation and solve all your problems. Take that, banana bread!

Enjoy!

 

 

Zac Efriands
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
200g icing sugar
⅓ cup flour
1 ⅔ cups almond meal
3 lemons, zested and juiced
200g unsalted butter, melted
6 egg whites
2 tbsp poppy seeds
¾ cup raw caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C and grease a 12-hole friand pan.

Sift the icing sugar, flour and almond meal into a mixing bowl. Slowly incorporate the zest, melted butter, egg whites and poppy seeds, until just combined.

Spoon mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until puffed, golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven and cool in the pan for five minutes, before turning out and cooling completely.

When you’re almost ready to serve, combine the lemon juice and raw caster sugar in a saucepan over medium heat and stir until dissolved. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for ten minutes or until slightly thickened.

Prick the friands – ahhhh, the memories with Zac – and poor over the sweet tangy liquid, filling up the friands – again, memories.

Devour immediately.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Babewatch

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I am so, so nervous.

Turns out my mate Corbs is a miracle worker and my ex Zac Efron is on his way to try and put an end to our feud.

What am I going to say? How am I going to feel? Will his ever expanding guns stir old feelings? Am I able to ask him to strip off and do the Baywatch run? Oh, and obvi, what the hell am I going to make to sweeten the deal?

The deal being our friendship.

Image source: Still from Baywatch.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Seth Rogen Josh

Main, Poultry

Seriously, I don’t think I’ve laughed this much in years. Like full on, deep, hearty Rogen-esque chuckles.

I’ve known my dear friend Seth since we were wee babes, well since just before we became men. You see Seth, Evan Goldberg and I attended the same bar mitzvah classes, became friends and commenced writing Superbad. It all went south, however, when they found out I wasn’t Jewish and was instead trying to find myself a boyfriend and join the moile high club.

Seth, loving his role as a (future) bear icon, didn’t mind however Evs was not thrilled and had my name struck from the Superbad script and hasn’t spoken to me since. Which, let’s be honest is a total dick move, since it puts our best friend Seth in a hella awkward place.

Given that Seth is so busy, I haven’t seen him since the premiere of Neighbours … where I caused a scene when Zac suggested we take a break. Which reminds me, that was another reason I haven’t seen Seth in years.

Thankfully, he is hella forgiving and understands that the thirst is real and Zefron floods my basement and that when Zef takes sex off the table, I go insane. After a quick apology, catch-up and subtle prying into whether he think Zef and I will get back together – FYI, he thinks there is hope for us – we sat down to a big bowl of his favourite Seth Rogen Josh.

 

 

Like Seth – and Zef, for that matter – this curry is hot, spicy and makes you feel unending joy when it is inside you, filling you up with its goodness. I got well distracted, didn’t I?

Oy – it is delicious, like Seth. Enjoy!

 

 

Seth Rogen Josh
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
thumb sized piece of fresh ginger, finely grated
4 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
vegetable oil
500g chicken breast or lamb shoulder, diced
5 whole cardamom pods
1 bay leaf
3 whole cloves
5 whole peppercorns
1 cinnamon sticks
2 onions, peeled and finely chopped
½ tsp ground coriander
1 tsp cumin seeds
2 tsp paprika
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp salt
¼ cup plain yogurt
¼ tsp garam masala
fresh ground pepper
fresh coriander, to garnish

Method
Put the ginger, garlic and ¼ cup water into food processor and blitz into a smooth paste.

Heat a lug of oil in a large pot over medium heat and lightly brown the meat. Remove from the pan and set aside.

Place the cardamom, bay leaves, cloves, peppercorns and cinnamon in the meaty oil and fry, stirring, until the cloves swell and your kitchen is fragrant. Add the onions, reduce heat to low and sweat for five minutes. Add the ginger/garlic paste and fry for a minute before adding the remaining spices and cooking for a further minute.

Return the meat – and all their juices – to the pan with the yoghurt and stir until combined and cook for a couple of minutes. Add a cup of water, bring to the boil and deglaze the pan. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for an hour, stirring occasionally.

At the end of the hour, remove the lid and turn the heat to medium to reduce the liquid to desired consistency.

Serve with rice, garnished with some fresh coriander and your favourite sides. I recommend raita, naan and pappadums … but it is up to you. I guess.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Ain’t No Party Like a Sausage Party

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Have I ever told you about the time I did good in the world?

Probs not – it was back in 2014 and I convinced my boys Ben Affleck and Seth Rogen to speak at two Senate committee meetings. It is so rare that I do something good that I forgot until Benny Aff reminded me last week.

Wanting to kind of marinate in the smug feeling I had, I reached out to Seth and thankfully he was hella keen to catch up and reconnect.

What says you’re a dear friend and I love that I can openly lust after you?

Image source: Gary Miller/Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.