Previously on Survivor, Ken. Ken was a babe.
Oh and Hannah lacked basic social awareness, David found an idol and the newest cast member Lucy, joined the underdogs – aka Kengel and friends – with Sunday and Jessica and blindsided Paul.
Obviously we arrived back at camp with the olds where Chris developed some sass as Jess tried to explain the situation. For those keeping tracking, Jess was like Hannah … but fractionally more aware. Then the biggest twist ever on Survivor happened, with Lucy getting a confessional before cornering Chris and Bret (and his cahrds) about joining forces to take out Jess.
Meanwhile the kids – millennials and literal baby goat – were playing around camp before Adam found a clue to the hidden immunity idol and I think cried. I didn’t have much time to figure it out as before I knew it, we ended up in the middle of the ocean for my favourite – and most sexually aggressive – reward challenge with Jiffy Pop.
To make it more exciting than the usual ball play, the tribes had to go for the ring and pull each other
offover to their pole. As is usually the case, the challenge was completely insane, with Chris trying to dislocate Jay’s shoulder, Taylor awkwardly screamed at people, Ken was dreaming and dominant … but let’s be honest despite the millennials loss, the winner of this challenge was Michaela who took her top off to win the point.
Oh and wave that wiped out Jeff Probst. You know what that was? Mother nature giving you life.
We followed the kids back to camp where everyone, rightly, was congratulating Michaela for getting out the girls before Adam actually found the idol and proceeded to break our hearts as he broke down about his mother’s terminal lung cancer. I may be the worst but Adam still completely broke my heart.
Back at the olds, Lucy continued to leap into the spotlight wandering around camp telling everyone what to do. It pissed off Kengel and that is more than enough for me. To quote everyone’s favourite drug cheat Crystal Cox – forget you, go home, goodbye.
Before I got the chance to tell her to eat her rice, we arrived at the immunity challenge which involved some obstacles, a window washing cage and a word puzzle where after reminding me Michelle existed, the millennials managed a come from behind win.
The olds arrived back at camp to commence scrambling, where Chris and Lucy opted to target Jess – maybe to help her get her eyes sorted – while The Hottie and the Nottie wanted to take out the newest dictator Lucy. But don’t worry about me calling her that, she likes to be hated. Jess then ran to Lucy to spill the beans to the person targeting her, much to Kengel’s chagrin. David then started talking about the idol and I was crazy confused by the time we arrived at tribal.
Bret and Chris were still salty from the last tribal before Lucy then started to chastise Kengel again – of course Jeff was going to defend our man, #ThroupleGoals – before Kengel gave Jess the ultimate smackdown for not trusting him … via stare.
David then decided to take centre stage and make a questionable move by playing his idol on Jessica, negated the five votes against her and sending my dear, cantankerous Lucy to my loving arms at loser lodge.
You know how I am insanely talented, successful and famous? Yeah – I owe all of that to my dear friend and militant life coach, Lucy. When I couldn’t be bothered doing an assignment, Lucy was there to berate me into completing it. When I was missed deadlines, she was there smacking me across the back of the head until my writer’s block passed.
I fucking love her. As much as we both love my Lucy Huangs.
With more bite than everyone’s – outside of her family – tiger mum, this wings are everything you want when you’re feeling down. Mainly because the kick of heat and the delicate chicken are the perfect accompaniment for booze.
Plus, they are crazy messy which you just know would piss off Lucy / send you into an existential crisis about how much of a disaster you are after that second bottle of wine is opened.
Just me? Cool. Enjoy!
1kg chicken wings, tips removed with drumettes and flats separated
salt and pepper, freshly ground
¾ cup cornflour
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
½ cup Frank’s hot sauce
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
Preheat oven to 200°C.
Grab the wings out of the fridge for about 30 minutes to take the chill out. While that is happening, combine the cornflour with a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl. Once the wings are less chill, toss them in cornflour mix and place on a wire rack set over a lined baking sheet. Drizzle with oil and chuck them in the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and crispy.
Meanwhile, melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat and whisk in the hot sauce, cayenne and a good whack of salt and pepper until combined. Remove to a large enough bowl for coating purposes.
When the wings are done, remove them from the oven, toss through the sauce and devour, slathered in blue cheese dressing.