Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Michaela Bradshortcake

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously – slash a minute ago – on Survivor, it became exceedingly more obvious that Sarah was sliding her way to victory, despite Cirie’s killer display. While everyone was against Brad for the entire episode, Andrea stuck her neck out one time too many and found herself sent to the jury.

We arrived back at camp where Aubry apologised to Brad for being the only person remaining that voted for him last tribal. She then acknowledged the elephant in the room, that if you align with her you end up voted out … or near death. She then broke down about having had such a rollercoaster day what with winning immunity and being blindsided, before winning Tai’s affection back and making Cirie wary of Tai’s social game.

Probst quickly returned for the second immunity challenge of the episode, the Darrah Johnson-Shane Powers memorial pour-water-in-the-hole-to-float-a-key-high-enough-to-retrieve-it. Don’t blame me for the title, I was experiencing PTSD by proxy for Cirie.

Michaela got out to a quick lead, followed closely by Troyzan, Aubry and Brad, who made quick work using the key to unlock their puzzle pieces. Given how confusing the puzzle was, Sarah, Tai and Cirie all caught up before Brad found a hole that he couldn’t fill. Michaela thought she had it, which she didn’t before kicking the puzzle … giving enough time for Brad to fill that hole and snatch immunity.

Brad then celebrated and / or through a tantrum, almost channelling Mr. This-Is-My-Island, Troyzan.

Back at camp the Troyzan and Tai were feeling uncomfortable, since the target was immune … despite both of them being in possession of an idol, or two if you’re Tai. Tai approached Aubry about needing to make some moves if they are going to make it to the end, both agreeing that Sarah is currently the one to beat.

Aubry then told Cirie, who went straight back to Sarah who refused to believe that Aubry was telling the truth. Wanting to solidify her loyalty, Sarah decided to give up the extra vote advantage to Cirie. Cirie, being the crafty kween that she is, debating the merits on hanging on to it, or playing it despite the fact Sarah didn’t want to, to protect Sarah from herself and Tai.

Cirie then clued Michaela in on what was happening, with both of them agreeing that Cirie needed to use Sarah’s vote steal to steal Sarah’s own vote to take out Tai … by lulling him into a false sense of security to not play an idol by saying she is doing it to save him. This is some next level inception bullshit right here and if she pulls it off, she is the first in line to Sandra’s throne in the line of procession.

Giving future players a masterclass on how to manipulate people, Cirie pulled Tai aside and played him like a fiddle. I mean, the voice quivering, the panic, the concern?! I love Cirie.

We then arrived at tribal council where Sarah spoke about the mad scrambling that occurred post challenge. Cirie and Brad agreed that everyone was lying to someone and that they need to cut through that, to which Michaela disagreed. Tai then acknowledged that he always gives people the benefit of the doubt and that it could lead to his downfall.

Troyzan sounded like he’s been hurt one too many times in the game, which after being schooled by Kim I assume he has. Michaela then brought up the ‘we’ again before we headed off to vote … but wait, Cirie pulled out the vote steal! Sadly for her, she didn’t read the fine print saying that it could not be transferred.

She was then chastised by Probst and Sarah, for outing the fact she was going to make a huge move but actually couldn’t. And as has become the tradition of Game Changers, Sarah then whispered something in Tai’s ear, before Cirie pulled Sarah aside to tell her she was trying to use it to save her, which Michaela jumped up to agree with. Troyzan then tried to eavesdrop, earning the wrath of Michaela who did not have time for his shit.

Aubry then joined the fray and things started to calm down and everyone returned to their seats … until Sarah got back up to  talk to Tai, with Cirie whispering in the other ear. Cirie then went to Michaela, while Tai went back to talking to Sarah … before the latter decided to just use the advantage, take Tai’s vote and get this over with.

Despite snatching Tai’s vote, Sarah didn’t join Aubry and Michaela in voting out Tai, instead joining Brad and Troyzan to blindside Michaela. While it wasn’t as exciting as her previous exit, the tribal build up was even more exciting and she ended with you do you, boo … which is amazing.

Make no mistake, Michaela is a total sass queen … but she was feeling a little bit salty, having been booted from Survivor twice in the space of a few months. That being said, it is hard to stay salty when you fill up on my Michaela Bradshortcake!

 

 

I know that the doll/TV show firmly pushes for the strawberry version of these delights, I have a strong aversion to the feel of them on my tongue and therefore avoid them at most costs. I mean, I’ll eat them but they are not my first through fifth choice.

Plus, how do you go wrong with apple, walnut and cinnamon? Exactly, you can’t – enjoy!

 

 

Michaela Bradshortcake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
3-4 apples, cored and finely diced
juice of a lemon
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup raw caster sugar
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
kosher salt
85g cold unsalted butter
1 ½ cup double cream
½ cup walnuts, toasted and roughly chopped
1 egg

Method
Combine the apples, lemon juice, cinnamon and ¼ cup raw caster sugar to combine. Cover and allow to steep for an hour or so.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the flour, remaining sugar, baking powder and a pinch of salt in a large bowl. Using your fingertips, rub the butter through the flour mixture until it resembles wet sand. Add 1 cup cream and walnuts, and stir with a fork until it just starts to come together.

Form the dough into large lime-sized balls and press to flatten on a lined baking tray, repeating the process until done.

Whisk the egg, brush each biscuit/scone and bake until golden brown, or about 20 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool for half an hour.

When ready to serve, whip the remaining cream in a bowl until soft peaks form. Half the biscuit and top with some apple and cream. Close the biscuit … and because I really like to load up on the toppings, add some more apple, cream and a pinch of cinnamon.

Then devour, obviously.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Zekeshuka Smith

Breakfast, Main, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Zeke and Andrea continued to feud, Debbie was confident that the power alliance of six would hold strong with Sarah on board … which of course meant it didn’t, with Sarah joining with Aubry and Cirie to mend the previously mentioned feud and blindside my dear Debs.

Back at camp, Brad congratulated the ex-minority on a killer blindside before – shockingly – privately telling us that he and his alliance were now kinda, sorta definitely screwed. Sarah was very quick to take the blame/credit for flipping, hoping the jury would reward her for making a move to better herself.

The new minority then joined together to congratulate each other in hushed tones and received kisses from the kween … which hopefully aren’t mob related, giving how Aubry views her.

Jiffy Pop quickly arrived for the reward challenge where – again, shockingly (which is clearly my descriptor for the recap) – the tribe was split into two teams to compete for an overnight resort and feast reward.

While Michaela got the orange team out to a quick lead in a challenge she dominated last season, the blue team quickly caught Brad up when pulling him up – yes, up – the wall to grab numbered puzzle pieces. Troy caught the orange team up, before Sarah brought the blue back in front … though thankfully for both teams, the physical aspect was completely irrelevant, as they struggled with the word puzzle FOR CLOSE TO AN HOUR.

Thankfully Andrea put us out of our misery and picked up on Jeff’s exceedingly more obvious clues, solving the puzzle and snagging victory for herself, Brad, Sarah, Aubry and Zeke.

At reward the victors quickly snagged themselves a drink and gorged on the feast splayed out on a lazy susan. Is that last part important? No … but they made a point to acknowledge it. Continuing in his tradition from last season, Zeke and Brad started discussing football which immediately made Andrea wary.

Meanwhile the losers back at camp were looking like absolute crap. I mean, no offence … but they truly looked wrecked. Troyzan made a game reappearance and lamented being on the bottom with Tai – which sounds great – neither acknowledging their idols to the other.

The victors returned to camp looking refreshed like the after-shots of a makeover however Aubry too was starting to worry about Zeke and Brad’s bonding. Andrea and Cirie quickly went aside to discuss making a move against Zeke, which Cirie was completely on board with given the fact he knows more about the game than her despite it being her fourth time out.

Cirie then tackled their biggest hurdle and pulled Officer Sarah aside to get rid of Sarah’s closest alliance on the island. Sarah then shared her vote steal advantage with Cirie as a way to throw the target off Zeke … before sharing with us that she is willing to flip back to the other side if it she thought it was better for her.

The next day Zeke was feeling uncomfortable by the eerie calmness of camp before going on a walk with Sarah and outlining how the remainder of the game would play out for them. Potentially proving Cirie’s point, Zeke then told her that he wanted to propose a final five alliance between them, Brad, Troyzan and Michaela … before running straight to the boys to tell them he’s saved them from the next day.

Wanting to help put us out of our misery, Jeff returned for the immunity challenge where they each have to line up blocks on a moving bar set up over a trip obstacle, that will ultimately – hopefully – knock a gong at the end. While everyone got out to a strong start, Brad was the first to drop all of his blocks before Andrea just edged out in front with Sarah and Michaela and snatched individual immunity again.

Back at camp, Andrea was feeling confident enough from her victory to take out Zeke, rather than sticking with the easy option of Sierra. While she could quickly get Cirie on board, they were both concerned about how to convince Sarah it was the best way.

Sierra then appeared as they started to talk about potentially getting her on board to vote for Zeke, which she obviously agreed to before they even finished their sentence. Sarah then dropped by to test their fears and while she wasn’t thrilled about it, she semi-agreed to the plan despite not liking Andrea’s cockiness.

With that, Andrea approached Aubry and Michaela who were thrilled and concerned about the plan respectively. Michaela and Sarah then spoke about their concerns with the plan and confirmed themselves as the swing votes at tribal.

At tribal Sarah confirmed she was the reason Debbie was voted out, resulting in her flipping the bird from the jury box. Tai lamented feeling uneasy for the first time in his two seasons, while Brad and Sierra were concerned about being the newest bottom. Andrea and Michaela spoke about the new majority sticking together, with the latter adding that now isn’t the right time to make a move given how close the numbers were.

There was talk of the heart and relationships, the need to make friends, constantly running the numbers, bottoming and treating people like chess pieces leaving me mildly confused as they headed to vote. Thankfully though it didn’t take long for the confusion to dissipate as the votes rolled in for Zeke and he found himself becoming the fourth member of the jury as Michaela – not Sarah – sobbed from the bench.

As you know, I’ve known Zeke for a couple of years after I began coaching his improv group – hey, when you know Teens and Ames it is your civic duty – so he was so thrilled to see a familiar face in loser lodge – again – after his back-to-back losses.

Thankfully though Zeke is such a positive guy and knows that it is just a game, so we didn’t dwell on his Game Changers experience and instead focused our energy on devouring some Zekeshuka Smith.

 

 

I was thrilled it was Zeke booted – like sad for him, but thrilled for me – because I was actually nursing a huge hangover from fake partying with Debbie and this baby is the perfect hangover cure.

Hot, rich and topped in par-cooked eggs if you are still nursing a headache after this, I don’t know what you should do. Maybs get taken out to pasture – who knows?

Enjoy!

 

 

Zekeshuka Smith
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1 capsicum, diced
1 jalapeno, thinly sliced
2 merguez sausages, sliced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
2 x 400g cans crushed tomatoes
salt, pepper and sugar, to season
a handful of baby spinach
8 eggs
a handful of feta cheese, crumbled
Parsley, to sprinkle

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large pan and sweat the onion and garlic for about five minutes. Add the capsicum, jalapeno and sausage and cook for a further five minutes. Add the spices and cook for a minute before adding the tomatoes and a good whack of salt and pepper, and a pinch of sugar. Bring to the boil and reduce heat to low.

Add the spinach and stir to combine before cracking the eggs into the pan, cover and cook for five-ten minutes or until the whites are set and the yolks are perfect. Serve immediately, with feta and parsley crumbled over the top.

Devour with crusty bread.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Adamaretto Klein Sour

Drink, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, seventeen castaways got the chop leaving Hannah and Ken to face the jury with Adam who managed to snag all ten votes and snatch the crown – sorry, wrong show – claim the title of sole survivor.

While I am very defensive and proud of Hannah’s game, Adam’s was better and he joined the ranks of the Sandra Diaz-Twine Winner’s Circle – aside, how fucking amazing is it that Sandra is coming back for her third title? – after playing an adaptable game, ensuring he was never the biggest threat and that he stepped back from being in control when necessary.

It was a low-key dominant game and like Kristie in Australian Survivor, shows that 16 years watching the – at the risk of sounding like Fishbach and his echo, Zeke – evolution of the game prepared him to expect the unexpected and keep open to anything.

My only real criticism is his propensity to scream his confessionals, which scared me. But I mean, that should have only cost him three jury votes max.

As we are such close friends – we met when he was Regional Director for the Students for Barack Obama campaign in 2008 … as I was working in the Obama campaign, as you know – I told him that, he apologise profusely and I deemed that he was still worthy for his celebratory Adamaretto Klein Sour.

 

adamaretto-sour-klein-1

 

As a fuctioning alcoholic – probably – I believe that there is no better way to celebrate victory and life than with booze. And there is no better booze than a sweet and – obviously – sour, amaretto sour.

Sadly for Adam his victory ended on a bittersweet note with his dear mother, and fellow Survivor super-fan, passing away an hour after his return. If you’d like to hear more about her story and support Adam’s efforts to raise money for cancer research visit Stand Up to Cancer … or if you like a reward for your good deeds, Planet Buff.

Then toast to a game well won and life well lived – enjoy!

 

adamaretto-sour-klein-2

 

Adamaretto Sour Klein
Makes: 1.

Ingredients
60ml amaretto
30ml lemon juice
dash of bitters
dash of soda water (as I’m scared of egg whites)
maraschino cherry and slice of lemon, to garnish

Method
Combine the liquids in a glass over ice. Drizzle. Garnish. Down.

And repeat. Always repeat.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Hannah Shapiravioli

Main, Pasta, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, the jury convened to berate, question and congratulate the final three before casting their votes, none of which went to our co-runner-up and my future lover Kengel or my dear friend Hannah Shapiro.

While Hannah wasn’t rewarded with any votes by the jury, I was firmly buying everything she was selling during final tribal council. Yes, Adam was successful in convincing the jury that her moves were simply blunders … but they were only blunders in respect to her game.

She made it to final tribal and took risks – like leaving David in until the final four and trusting Kengel to turn on him – eliminated people that she thought would be final three fodder and convinced people to risk their game – Adam included – to save her.

So while she wasn’t able to secure any votes, she played an underrated game and I couldn’t be more proud to call her my dearest friend.

I’ve known Han for a few years now, after meeting in college while studying Professor Dawson’s Survivor course – the student became the master, it seems. After graduating I put her in touch with some comedy contacts I met through my besties Tina and Amy, and she has had the honour of working with Second City, Groundlings and Upright Citizens Brigade.

Anyway, while she was disappointed to not take out the title – or any votes – I was able to turn her around with a quick pep talk and a generous serving of my Hannah Shapiravioli.

 

hannah-shapiravioli-1

 

It is time for your favourite part, where I liken her game to the dish!

But in all seriousness, Hannah was a soft, gentle soul, that was packed with a punch – deep down – and was able to take over the game without noticing.

Plus – who doesn’t love pumpkin, spinach and ricotta? Enjoy!

 

hannah-shapiravioli-2

 

Hannah Shapiravioli
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600g butternut pumpkin, diced
lug of olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
60g pancetta, cut into thin strips
800g tinned chopped tomatoes
½ cup basil, finely chopped
2 sprigs thyme
⅓ cup verjuice
1 tbsp sugar
salt and pepper, to taste
500g fresh ricotta
250g frozen chopped spinach, defrosted and drained
60 gow gee wrappers

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Place the pumpkin on a baking sheet with a lug of oil, toss to coat and bake for about half an hour, or until golden, sweet and soft. Remove and leave to rest while you get to work on the sauce.

Heat a lug of oil in a large frying pan and sweat the garlic for a minute or two. Add the pancetta and fry for a further five minutes. Add in the tomatoes, herbs, verjuice, sugar and a generous whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat while you get er’rything sorted.

Get a large pot of salted water on the boil and combine the ricotta and spinach in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Lay out half the gow gee wrappers and divide the cooled pumpkin amongst the pastry, and divide the cheesy spinach on top of the pumpkin.

Brush the dough with water and top with a second wrapper, sealing each parcel to ensure no air is trapped.

When they’re all done, place all the ravioli in the boiling water and cook until they have risen to the top. It should be no more than ten minutes. Drain and add the ravioli to the sauce and return to a low heat for five minutes.

Serve immediately and cover generously with parmesan. Devour, obviously.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Ken McPickle Dip

Condiment, Dip, Party Food, Side, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, Ken made the best decision for him – and everyone in the final three – and sent David out of the game as the final juror.

The next morning Hannah started talking about the sunrise – and being hungry – while Ken complained about those dang millennials – despite being the one to defend them in the first episode.

After a brief interlude of the final three talking about why they deserved to win over breakfast, Ken, Hannah and Adam arrived at final tribal council ready to sit in front of the jolly firing squad that is the jury.

Taylor kicked off the fun offering them all a chance to deliver opening statements before Sunday got to work asking each to describe how adaptable they were where Ken – out of nowhere, like Australian Survivor’s Kristie – started throwing shade at Hannah, which Adam jumped on board of. Hannah – wanting a piece of the Kristie-esque action – cut him off and outlined why she had been making all of the decisions and that she voted Sunday out for being a threat, not as a mistake which Adam was trying to say.

Jess then asked Ken how he could vote David out after putting himself on a pedestal for the previous 37 days. He then broke my heart and mentioned that above all else, his alliance is with his daughter.

Take me Ken – take me now!

Will then congratulated Ken for making the move and threw Adam under the bus for being on the wrong side of the numbers all the damn time. He then tried to throw Hannah under the bus, who once again fought back and said that going rogue, as Adam was saying she did, was her taking control of her game.

Channeling Stephen Fishbach, Zeke arrived to talk about the evolution of the game – or game change, if you will – dismissing Ken for not adding to the narrative and allowing Hannah and Adam to continue their fight about who played the better game.

Whoever you prefer out of the two, they have to be congratulated for entering final tribal ready to battle for the title.

Michelle returned to the screen in all her glory and asked Hannah how many times she was on the wrong side of the vote – for the record, it was once. She then asked Adam why she should vote for him despite his failings – he again started to throw shade at Hannah, who again wouldn’t take his shit and outlined why she made the right decisions.

Bret came for my boy Kengel, which immediately pisses me off before Ken started fighting with Adam who was underestimating him. Jay soon followed to ask Adam why turned on him, rather than using him to take out David – spoiler alert, you were also a threat and one that was more likely to win immunity. Plus, the best he could do is force a tie. They then referenced Adam’s mother’s illness but Adam chose to stay quiet about it, which I found quite interesting.

Chris then announced that he wasn’t a coach and was actually a trial lawyer, putting to bed a secret that I never knew existed. Luckily for Adam, he then played the role of juror going into bat for a flailing finalist and implored the jury to vote for Adam, who he believed had played the best game.

Closing out tribal council, David asked everyone to outline how the experience had changed them.

Swoon.

Hannah spoke about her growth – aka the Cirie Fields memorial arc … which she shared with David, Ken then spoke about having to overcome being socially awkward to win for his daughter. Adam closed out the show talking about how Survivor was a shared dream with his mother and broke down. Again, breaking hearts completely knowing how that story ends. With that the jury voted, though sadly none for Ken and Hannah as Adam was crowned the Sole Survivor.

So Ken is the outlier in the cast because we weren’t actually friends before filming, which you may have been able to tell thanks to my lecherous recaps each week. I mean yes, I talk lecherously about my friends all the time but I couldn’t go as far as I did with Ken if I knew him.

Anyway, I wanted to make something worthy of his beauty, inside and out, that would also impress him and gain me entry into his pants. I’m pretty sure my phallus-alluding Ken McPickle Dip fits the bill … because who doesn’t want a bit of Ken’s pickle?

 

ken-mcpickle-dip-1

 

While Ken wanted to take our relationship slow, he did love the tangy, creamy dip and let me smear it on his face, nips and abs. So I think we have a future – everyone pray for me, or something.

Enjoy!

 

ken-mcpickle-dip-2

 

Ken McPickle Dip
Serves: 2 future lovers.

Ingredients
300ml sour cream
250g cream cheese, softened
1 cup dill pickles, finely chopped
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp dill, finely chopped

Method
Mash the cream cheese with the sour cream, until smooth.

Stir in the remaining ingredients.

Devour with crackers … or off a nipple.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Pidavid Wright

Bread, Main, Party Food, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Hannah made what appeared to be a boneheaded move by booting Bret in fifth place, rather than David. But maybe it wasn’t, or it was. Let’s continue …

Back at camp Adam, quite rightly, was shocked by Hannah and Kengel’s loyalty to David.

Wanting a redux of their first tribal aftermath, Hannah and Adam went to discuss the vote with Hannah actually making a logical argument that she couldn’t lose David and upset Ken and leave herself a path to final tribal. Oh and Adam was far more eager to listen to her explanation this time, despite disagreeing with her.

Wanting to burn through the final boot, Jeff arrived for this season’s final immunity challenge which required the castaways to guide plates through a vertical maze using a long, hard pole, before stacking the most plates on the top of the maze at the end of 30 minutes.

Oh and of course the maze wobbles.

Ken took the lead in stacking the most bowls, with Adam simply trying to outlast Ken and hope that his plates would all drop. Which they did. Sadly Adam’s plates quickly followed, as did Hannah and David as everyone started again.

Hannah and Ken then took the lead, while Adam tried to wait them out again, which sadly didn’t work and the pair finished the half hour tied. Kengel and Hannah then had a five minute tiebreaker where Kengel took out an early lead and never looked back, securing final immunity.

Again, how babin’ did Ken look getting that necklace? And more importantly … who can believe Hannah almost won final immunity?

Back at camp David gloated about Ken’s loyalty, while Hannah and Adam joined together to plot how they could convince Ken to turn on David, despite said loyalty. Hannah then went to work on swaying Ken, explaining to him that the jury don’t respect them and that leaving David in the game would simply confirm that, in their eyes.

With them busy, David told Adam that the easiest way for him to move forward was to campaign against Hannah. Thankfully Adam pulled on his big-boy pants and told David that if he wasn’t booted that night, Adam loses anyway, so why not try and make a move.

We then arrived at tribal where Jeff reminded us of all of Hannah’s foibles – including her glorious seventeen hour vote at the first tribal – to congratulate her on coming so close to winning final immunity. Adam then tried to explain how big of a threat David is, to which David agreed. Ken then brought up loyalty, Adam brought up the need to make a smart decision to win for your family with which Ken agreed.

Proving his superiority over Australian Survivor’s single father stud, Ken made the best possible move he could – for everyone … bar David – and as he sent David out of the game as the final member of the jury.

I met Dave while working as a screenwriter for Malcolm in the Middle and quickly rode his coattails over to Family Guy before being fired amidst scandal and inevitably inspired the character of Roger on American Dad! Dave being Dave kept in touch and tried to help me sort my life out, more than earning his comforting Pidavid Wright.

 

pidavid-wright-1

 

The pide is the culinary version of David’s Survivor experience – it started out with a soft, delicate dough that made way for a fiery, dominant filling which leaves you salivating and wanting more, despite not winning.

That is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?

 

pidavid-wright-2

 

Pidavid Wright
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp dry yeast
1 cup milk, warmed to 30C
1 tsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp vegetable oil
3 cups flour
lug of olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
500g minced lamb
6 roma tomatoes, diced
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp sumac
1 tsp paprika
1 tbsp dried chilli flakes
¼ cup tahini
1 lemon, juiced
⅓ cup pine nuts, toasted
handful chopped flat-leaf parsley
4 eggs
handful of feta

Method
Combine yeast, milk, sugar, salt and vegetable oil in the bowl of a stand mixer and knead on medium for about ten minutes, or until smooth.

Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and allow to prove for an hour. Knock back the dough, split into four, cover again and leave to prove for a further hour or so.

While the dough is proving, get to work on the filling by heating a lug of oil in a large pan over medium heat and sweat the garlic for a few minutes. Add the lamb and brown for a few minutes, breaking up with the back of a wooden spoon as you go.

Add the tomatoes and spices and cook for a further couple of minutes before adding the tahini, lemon juice, pine nuts and parsley. Stir to combine and remove from the heat.

Once the dough has proven itself, roll each piece into an oval shape. Fill each with some filling, leaving a couple of centimetre border around the edges. Pinch the ends together to form a boat shape and bring up the edges. Top with a cracked egg and some crumbled feta, and bake for about 20 minutes, or until golden.

Leave to rest for five minutes and devour. I slather it with natural yoghurt but that is just how I roll, you know? You do you.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Bret LaBao Buns

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Previously on Survivor, we opened the finale with Jay’s killer blindside. Or maybe it wasn’t, I’m still not sure if we were meant to know that the idol was fake and I can’t be bothered rewatching yet.

Not wanting to dwell on the last tribal too much, we arrived at the next immunity involving swimming, traversing a ball through some obstacles, hard poles – yay – and a puzzle, which terrified David on account of his questionable swimming ability.

Ken got out to an early lead thanks to his exquisite ball play, his wet torso glistening beautifully in the sun.  As he lay me down on the sand and leant gently beside me and ki … sorry, tangent.

Sadly Ken wasn’t kissing me, now was he as good with those hard poles – he’ll learn, I have faith – with Bret overtaking him and snatching the lead. Despite Bret’s lead, the rest of the castaways caught up allowing Ken to snatch individual immunity with one of Jeff’s favourite phrases to say to the millennials, “not a participation trophy.

Can we just pause here to enjoy how pretty Ken looks whenever Jeff gives him immunity?

The tribe arrived back at camp where Adam got Bret to run interference for him while he scoured the island for the hidden immunity idol. With Adam away, David went to Hannah and Ken to reconfirm their final three alliance and the plan to boot Adam.

Sadly for David, Adam was successful in finding the actual hidden immunity idol, at least I think … right now.

With Adam busy celebrating his find, David and Ken pulled Bret aside to get him to join the plan to boot Adam. Bret then went to Adam to let him know David and Ken’s plan, while Adam shared his idol secret with Bret and then shared his news with Hannah who announced that she was in control of the outcome at the next tribal council.

Which generally doesn’t bode well for the person that said that.

Vinegar, sorry Vinaka, arrived at tribal and discussed the hunt for the idols, before Bret – this time – sparred with David about their threat status’, statuses, stati?

Whatever the plural of status, Hannah did control the outcome of the tribal and made the worst possible move – at least from the viewers’ perspective – sending Bret out of the game in fifth place as the ninth juror.

Obviously I know Bret, given my love of beer, Boston, bars, bars in Boston and picking up cops who are trying to arrest me for drunk and disorderly behaviour after drinking too much beer in bars in Boston.

The love affair was brief but we remained friends ever since (and I will cherish splitting Ben & Jerry’s after sleeping together through Peter Pan Live!), meaning I knew there was only one thing I could make to dull his post boot pain – Bret LaBao Buns. Emphasis on buns, that foxy minx.

 

bret-labao-buns-1

 

I love pork buns more than life itself. I also love bao buns and David Chang (and The Bun Mobile as well), but i’ve always been scared to try making them at home myself (until Cumberbitch) … but the Momofuku recipe is easy and put my mind at ease.

So yes, this is not my recipe … but I put enough love into it to make Bret happy.

Enjoy!

 

bret-labao-buns-2

 

Bret LaBao Buns
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
hoisin sauce, to serve
sliced shallot, to serve
sriracha, to serve

Steamed buns
7g dry yeast
⅔ cup water, at room temperature
1 cup bread flour
2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp milk powder
1 tbsp kosher salt
pinch of baking powder
pinch of baking soda
30ml vegetable shortening

Pickled cucumbers
2 thick, juicy lebanese cucumbers, cut into thin disks
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt

Pork
1.5kg slab skinless pork belly
¼ cup kosher salt
¼ cup sugar

Method
To start, place the pork belly into a roasting pan. Combine the salt and sugar and rub all over the meat, erotically if you want but that is a bit weird. Cover in cling and allow to rest overnight.

In the morning, preheat the oven to 225°C and discard any juices – or discharges if you will. Once the oven is piping hot, place the pork in the oven, fat side up and cook for an hour, basting with the rendering fat throughout.

While that is getting as hot as Bret, my husband and I were while Walken sang his heart out, combine the yeast and water in the bowl of a stand mixer outfitted with the dough hook. Add the flour, sugar, milk powder, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and fat, and mix on the lowest speed possible, just above a stir, for 8–10 minutes. Once it has formed a nice, not-too-sticky ball, turn it out into a lightly lubricated bowl, cover with a wet tea towel and leave to prove in a warm, dry place for an hour or so.

Reduce the pork to 110°C and leave to cook for a further hour and a half, by which point it is tender, pillowy and glorious. Once that is done, remove from the oven, transfer to a plate and allow to rest.

Get back to the buns by punching back the dough. Turn it out onto a clean work surface and divide it in half, and half again and then each piece into three. Roll them into balls, cover in cling and allow to rest for half an hour.

While the dough is proving, prep the cucumbers by combining them in a small mixing bowl with the sugar and salt. Toss to coat and leave to rest – feel free to adjust the sugar and salt levels, to taste.

Then cut out 12 generous squares of baking paper and coat a chopstick in some shortening. When the balls are fully engorged, take them in your hand – and left turn – and flatten them into a long oval shape. Place the chopstick in the middle and fold over to make the bao bun, pulling the chopstick out the end to make the flaps nice and moist and place on the baking paper.

Yes – that sentence was deliberate.

Cover with cling and leave the buns to rest for half an hour.

While taking the final chance to prove themselves, cut the pork belly into 1cm thick slices.

When the buns have proven themselves, get a large pot with a steamer on the stove and bring just enough water to the boil. Working a couple at a time, place the buns in the steamer, cover and steam, for ten minutes or until puffed and beautiful.

To build the bun, place one on your plate, slather with hoisin, top with the pickles and a few slices of pork belly. Top with shallots and sriracha, and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Jay Strawbrett Ice Cream

Dessert, Party Food, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, Sweets

Previously on Survivor, two groups of castaways were marooned in Fiji in the midst of a cyclone for the worst titled season possible. Thankfully the millennials were droned onto the beach to set off Jeff’s season long arc of generational stereotyping.

That make absolutely no sense. But anyway, I still love Jeff.

Thankfully mother nature was annoyed by the aforementioned stereotyping too and took Jeff out with a wave to knock some sense into him.

I can’t really tell you what happened beyond that though as there was literally only music playing for the first two minutes of the recap in Australia … but let’s remember – since fallen comrades is dead – Rachel, Mari, Paul, Lucy, CeCe, Figgy, Michaela, Michelle, Taylor, Chris, Jessica, Zeke, Will and Sunday were booted, leaving us with Hannah living my dream to be surrounded by five semi-naked men on a deserted island. With cameras.

We opened up back at camp with all but Jay gloating about their ability to flush out Jay’s idol. Hannah and Bret went aside for a pow-wow, disagreeing about whether allowing David to stay was the right decision … which let’s be honest, we won’t really know for another two hours.

Tipping the argument in Bret’s favour, David made himself busy by putting together a fake hidden immunity while everyone was sleeping. The next morning Jay went for a walk to find the new idol, which he did … at the same time as David. Thankfully for Jay, David was too slow getting back to the technicolour coconut.

Finally we checked in with Kengel where we finally learnt that the legacy advantage guaranteed him immunity at the next tribal council. Womp womp – what a let down.

Jiffy Pop returned to the screen for the first immunity challenge – with reward thrown in for good measure – of the episode. There was a pyramid and some ropes, a puzzle and some locks, and it all looked mighty confusing. Jay took an early lead … resulting in David, Hannah and Adam cheating on his puzzle.

There were some more obstacles followed by an extremely difficult hanging puzzle which resulted in an orgy of cheating before Jay dropped his puzzle allowing David take out individual immunity and a steak dinner, which Jay promptly stole … and chose to share with David and Adam which let’s be honest would be a pretty great final three.

Echoing my sentiment, Jay commenced wooing the boys to boot Bret at the next tribal and go as a strong three to final tribal. Meanwhile Bret tried to woo Hannah and Ken to stick together and boot Jay, promising him that there is no way Jay would have an immunity idol.

How wrong he is.

David went to discuss who to boot with Hannah and Adam, with Adam pushing for Jay and David for Bret. Hannah and David then pulled Jay aside to discuss the fact that Hannah is a maybe on keeping him, David is firmly in his corner and that Adam is still pushing to boot him. Jay – obviously – then went to Adam and laid it on as thick as possible to save himself.

We then arrived at tribal council where Bret and Jay campaigned for people to boot the other. Jay wasn’t taking any chances though and played his immunity idol … WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A COMPLETE FAKE – genuine #blindside … or was I meant to have noticed David had hid the idol in the coconut?

Before I could laugh at Jeff throwing the fake into the fire, Ken then stood up and played his legacy advantage resulting in Jay becoming the fifteenth boot and eighth juror.

Jay was sad to have finally found his way out of the game but was proud of everything he achieved. He was also very thankful to see me, one of his closest friends – we met when he was an extra on Rock of Ages – waiting for him in Ponderosa with a generous serving of my Jay Strawbrett Ice Cream.

 

jay-strawbrett-ice-cream-1

 

Sweet, fruity and smooth, this ice cream is the only thing you could possibly need to dull the pain of losing on Survivor. Or 2016.

Enjoy!

 

jay-strawbrett-ice-cream-2

 

Jay Strawbrett Ice Cream
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
395g can sweetened condensed milk
2 cups double cream, cold
1 tsp vanilla bean paste
pinch maldon salt
500g frozen strawberries, thawed at room temperature for 10 minutes

Method
Whisk the condensed milk, double cream and vanilla paste together in a large bowl until it is firm, yet light and airy. Be careful not to over whip it – as that is yuck – but be mindful the strawberry will thin it out. Yay for pointless direction, right?

Meanwhile place the salt and strawberries in a food processor and blitz until they are broken into small-ish chunks, but that is more a personal preference rather than a command.

Unless you want it to be you sly dog.

Fold the strawberries through the whipped cream, transfer to a freezer safe tub – not that I think anything can’t go in the freezer, but JIC – and freeze for five or six hours before devouring.

It works beautifully in a Sundae Burquest too, FYI.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Sundae Burquest

Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on the first half of the double tribal episode of Survivor – that doesn’t have a nice ring to it, does it – Will continued to try and play the middle but was sadly mowed down by Adam and his new alliance.

Back at camp Jay lamented the loss of yet another ally but reaffirmed the fact that he is a scrappy underdog and would persevere. He and Adam then connected to discuss their extremely toxic relationship and working together … while Adam vowed to take him out ASAP.

Once again, Jiffy didn’t want my mind drifting to Ken so appeared for the next immunity challenge – which looks as fun as Ken’s glorious torso – where they had to solve a puzzle while their balls were in play on an island pinball contraption.

Let’s be honest, all I heard was ball play and my mind wandered to Ken … who took out immunity with the help of Adam who wanted to guarantee neither David or Jay would get it.

How pretty did Kengel look while Jeff gave him the immunity necklace?

The tribe arrived back at camp Ken and David then went off for firewood while Jay sulked that Ken only won immunity thanks to Adam’s help, forcing Adam to admit that he wanted to block David – and not both David and Jay – winning immunity.

With David out of earshot Jay tried to rally the rest of the tribe to boot David, while David and Ken plotted to get rid of Jay. Hannah then arrived to assist with this highly scientific number crunching and brought up the idea of getting rid of non-entity Sunday, who I had honestly forgot was still here this episode.

#JusticeForPurpleSunday.

Adam then joined Ken and Hannah to discuss splitting the votes between Jay and David, to flush Jay’s idol and getting rid of a threat. While the tribe scrambled around the beach trying to decide on a plan, Adam approached Jay to let him know that he had to play his idol tonight. He then confided in Jay about his mother and they both broke down on the hammock in tears and it was heartbreaking.

I’m not sure how much else happened before tribal, on account of tears, but Hannah gave one last push to Adam to get rid of non-threat Sunday.

At tribal David said they were at the point where you have to rely on your friends in the game, while Jay lamented that all of his were now gone. Thankfully Jay is smarter than he is given credit for and pointed out that being a free agent that is a challenge threat is better than keeping a challenge threat that has allies … which only really works when Ken doesn’t have immunity.

Jeff posed the question of whether the tribe was planning on keeping final tribal goats – aka Sunday, I assume – or whether they were targeting them … which sadly ended up being a leading question as she found her way out of the game following Jay’s redundant idol play, dang it.

Sadly justice for Sunday will have to wait.

I first met Sunday – and I feel extremely awful (I know, I have feelings?!) about it – while running a religious scam. I was trying to use people’s beliefs for money and met Sunday at a religious retreat where I was recruiting. Thankfully Sunday’s beautiful soul – not that you’d know given her lack of visibility on the show – stopped me from being so hate filled and manipulative and showed me how to respect people’s beliefs rather than use them for my financial gain.

Obviously her kind, motivational nature earnt her a delicious Sundae Burquest after becoming the fourteenth boot.

 

sundae-burquest-1

 

Comforting, fulfilling and oh-so-sweet, this Sundae is exactly like its namesake … not that you’d know, given her edit. Enjoy!

 

sundae-burquest-2

 

Sundae Burquest
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup golden syrup
⅓ cup muscovado sugar
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ tsp sea salt
2 tbsp unsalted butter
⅔ cup double cream
175g dark chocolate, chopped
1 tsp vanilla extract
strawberry ice cream (maybe check back in a week), for eatin’
slivered almonds, to serve
maraschino cherries, to serve

Method
Whisk the golden syrup, sugar, cocoa, sea salt, double cream and butter in a large saucepan over low heat until it is all melted and combined.

Remove from heat and whisk through the chocolate  and vanilla until combined. Remove from heat and get down, to business … like I dream Kengel will say to me. One day. Oh, did I mention we just made chocolate sauce? We did

Generously scoop out some ice cream in a bowl. Top with some of the aforementioned chocolate sauce. Then some almonds. Then top with some maraschino cherries.

Then devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Will Dahl

Main, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previous on Survivor, high school student Will was sick of everyone looking at him as being a child, so decided to flip the game and send Zeke to the jury to build his final tribal resume. Sure Kengel almost completely bungled the entire flip with his Australian Survivor-esque honour code … but thankfully his alliance has the brains.

But seriously guys, Ken can do whatever because he is bangin’ ok?

Anywho – we opened up back at camp where Will’s latest allies applauded his move … while his ex-allies seethed quietly. Lil’ Will then shared his plan to flip-flop his way through the game – which would have peaked my interest if it was Kengel – which you just know is going to end well.

Almost as if hearing my alluded prophecy, Bret and Sunday met up with Adam at the well to discuss the prospect of joining him, Hannah and Kengel to boot David, Jay and Will – the two biggest threats and the strategic question mark.

Not wanting to leave me waiting, Jiffy-Pop appeared for the first immunity challenge of the episode – you knew it was a double this week, right? To be completely honest I’m not sure what was really happening in the challenge – there was a pole, some discs, balancing, wires and some ropes – just that Jay dominated and Ken looked beautiful, but not like a doll.

Oh and to be clear, Jay won immunity and again, it wasn’t really close. At all.

Despite gloating that he doesn’t need to chat with the other bozos, Jay was pulled into the scrambling by Will who started rallying the troops to get rid of poor little David. David was obviously feeling insecure about this or maybe seeing Ken in his jocks, I’m not sure … I got distracted.

Fingernail painting emoji, amirite?

Adam opted to join the fray and approached Bret to turn on the kid playing the middle, echoing Aubry and Julia last season. While Bret and Sunday were completely onboard, Hannah was not as easily convinced knowing that she owes her life in the game to both Will and David.

So obviously it was at that moment that the tribe ventured to tribal where Will proudly spoke of his Ciera Eastin trademarked BIG MOOVEZ while throwing some Drag Race-esque shade. Not to be outdone, Adam then started to compliment the jurors as he also commenced working on those final tribal votes JIC.

Sadly for Will his work for nought as his found his way out of the game, once again proving the man in the middle of the road is oft run over. Thankfully I was on hand with a delicious albeit kinda healthy Will Dahl – my poor protege Will, being forced to eat all healthy like – to dull the pain over getting his dreams crushed by the big kids.

 

will-dahl-1

 

Spicy, nourishing and altogether comforting, this dahl makes everything ok … from the inside out. Which is actually how i describe my relationship with Kengel … but i guess you’ll hear about that next week.

 

will-dahl-2

 

Will Dahl
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
a good lug of olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
500g sweet potato, peeled and roughly diced
3 tomatoes, diced
3 cloves garlic, wait for it … wait for it, roughly chopped
1 tbsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp ginger, peeled and finely grated
2 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground turmeric
250g red lentils
generous handful of baby spinach
1 litre vegetable stock
handful fresh chopped coriander
natural yoghurt or raita, to serve

Method
Heat some oil in a large heavy-bottomed pan and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the sweet potato and cook for a further five minutes or so. Emphasis on so, obviously.

Add the tomatoes, garlic, ginger, chilli and spices and cook for a further few minutes. No so. Add the lentils, spinach and stock, season generously and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes or until the sweet potato is gorgeously soft and lentils child-approved mush. For Will’s sake (don’t tell the whipper snapper I said that).

Adjust the seasoning if required and devour, slathered in coriander and yoghurt, if you like.

You should like.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.