Smoke Shacqui Patterson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor we had a very convoluted non-elimination journey involving three tribal councils, six exiled castaways, three people saved via challenge and one person booted. With David, somehow, remaining out of the fray despite being the biggest threat and not once winning immunity. After feeling left out of her alliance, Jacqui looked to make a move against David but after looping in Sharn and Moana she learnt that while they were happy with her plan, they would let her act alone, claim the move and unbeknownst to her, take all the wrath of David when his goat Zach was blindsided.

The next day we saw bats – COVID-19 trigger warning – on our way to check in with the tribe where Jacqui was still riding high after her Zach blindside, hungry for more and more to line up and fill her resume. She then dressed in David’s clothes and strutted around camp, anointed herself as the golden goddess and hot damn, why haven’t we seen this Jacqui all season. This is the icon we fell in love with in season 2! Meanwhile elsewhere in camp, Shonee and Brooke were eating scum water from the tribe’s pot, living their absolute best lives. Thrilled to have found a crack by blindsiding Zach, the duo used Jacqui’s pride to their advantage and pulled her aside in the water to praise her on a job well done and to try formulate a plan for the next vote.

On the flipside, David was back at camp feeling absolutely miserable. Annoyed that his meat shield is no longer around to protect him, he was nervous that people would sense weakness and come for him should he not regain control. Or win immunity. As such he continued to foster his relationship with Tarzan, in the hopes that he will protect him and keep their alliance tight. The boys then bonded by stripping off and skinny dipping together, which doesn’t make sense. But it makes me wet, so I don’t care.

They popped their pants on and returned to camp where Moana was desperately trying to hide her joy at losing Zach, while Jacqui continued to monologue about how great her blindside was. Did you know she flipped on Zach? Jacqui orchestrated a blindside? Jacqui voted out Zach, you hear? While Jacqui moved on to the next person to talk about her brilliance, Moana caught up with Dave to share how upset she was that Zach was gone. And then told us how safe she is, because she has surrounded Dave with people that are more loyal to her than him. And hot damn, is she actually playing an amazing game?

My love Jonathan returned for the reward challenge where they would each have to hold a spear over a tile using two handles pulled apart to maintain tension, with the last person standing winning the reward. And it was for an overnight spa reward complete with snacks and alcohol, so you know Queen Shonee needed this victory more than anyone else. Shocking me, Brooke was the first person to drop, followed closely by Tarzan and Jacqui. After fighting for another couple of minutes, Moana and Sharn dropped out of nowhere. After ten minutes, AK blanked and dropped out leaving David and Shonee to battle it out yet again. They continued to fight it out for over half an hour as Shonee offered to take Dave with her, should he want to offer her the same. After forty minutes and a cheeky readjustment, our queen dropped her spear and tragically lost reward. Oh and then David selected Sharn, Moana and Tarzan to join him, leaving her empty handed again.

Talk about rubbing salt in our icon’s wounds.

Back at camp however she didn’t pout and instead got to work rubbing it in Jacqui’s wounds instead, and vowed to use her time wisely to keep Jacqui onside. As they all joked about how stupid David is for not leaving Tarzan who they all know would never flip on him, Shonee decided to continue the charm offensive and gave Jacqui an island facial. After finishing the pampering, the group then decided that getting rid of Dave is – finally – their priority and as such, needed to identify the right people to flip. With Jacqui assuring them that Moana and Sharn would definitely be keen.

Speaking of Moana and Sharn, they were stumbling upon their reward with David and Tarzan as the group marvelled at their spoils. Including but not limited to, snacks, champagne and nail clippers, the latter being the most important win for David. Sharn pointed out how desperately Jacqui wanted to attend the reward and as such questioned whether he was playing the game smartly. David then showered and like me, Sharn couldn’t take her eyes off him and honestly, I have never related to her more. We then had a little pow wow with Dave, where he shared that his decision to exclude Jacqui isn’t stupid, given he knows he also can’t trust Sharn, however she is the one that is more likely to stay loyal if he keeps her close. And plus, Jacqui is a lost cause and leaving Sharn back at camp risks losing another ally. The newly scrubbed-up victors then sat around the fire and locked in a plan to blindside Jacqui and oh god, please keep Shonee safe.

The two groups reconvened and met Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to untangle themselves from a rope tangled over a pole, with the first five continuing on to the next stage where they need to walk through some obstacles while balancing a ball on a pole before landing it in a bucket of water. Three would then continue to solve a puzzle, with the winner snagging immunity. Queen Shonee’s challenge streak appeared to end, quickly getting tangled in her rope while Tarzan, Jacqui, Moana and AK pulled away. Ultimately Tarzan made his way to the second stage first, followed by Brooke, AK, Jacqui and David, eliminating Moana, Shonee and Sharn. AK and Brooke whipped through the second phase, getting to the bucket phase while David desperately tried to close the gap. Out of nowhere, Tarzan was the first to land his ball in the bucket, giving him a huge head start on the puzzle. He was soon joined by David and Brooke, eliminating AK and Jacqui. Oh and then David destroyed the puzzle, begging the question, did we know David was a puzzle king?

Back at camp David’s ego was at an all time high, proudly showing off his four immunities, only one of which was a fake. He quickly confirmed that he and his allies would all be blindsiding Jacqui, again missing the meaning of a blindside, given Jacqui is fully aware that she is on the bottom. Sharn pulled Jacqui aside to try and woo her back to the side, with David and Moana quickly joining as the group decided to target Shonee. Sadly for Jacqui however, they were just trying to get her to throw a vote on Shonee so that their four votes would be enough to get rid of Jacqui. Speaking of Jacqui, she went back to the Vakama trio and the four locked in their votes for Moana. Oh and then Jacqui disappeared and the group agreed that no matter what, they are sticking together and if it results in a tie, they will just have to go to rocks. In either a horrible or brilliant move, AK then decided to pull Sharn aside and tell her that the group is completely down to go for rocks, putting the fear in her head. And oh God, this may be brilliant, as Sharn is well and truly susceptible to being panicked into changing a plan.

At tribal council David spoke about feeling salty about the Zach vote, explaining that that is why he chose to leave Jacqui out of the reward. Jacqui pretended that she was over their drama, which led to AK, Brooke and Shonee jumping in one at a time to call out how terrible David’s decision was and that Jacqui is the only one tired of being a minion. Jacqui agreed that she wanted to find her voice in the game which led to Shonee pointing out that nobody in the rival alliance actually wants to take her to the end. Moana called bullshit on the comment, assuring Jacqui that she protects her and one emotional decision doesn’t change where she sits in the alliance. Tarzan wisely pointed out that if Jacqui jumps from one alliance to another, she goes from being on the bottom to being on the bottom.

Each side continued to push for Jacqui’s vote before talk turned to going to rocks, with AK, Shonee and Brooke all vowing to go to rocks, as at least it gives them a chance to take control. Sharn on the flipside was nervous and started to completely unravel, telling people to think things through before playing it fast and loose with their game. With that the tribe voted, David did some weird voicework and played an idol on Tarzan before the votes rolled in four each for Jacqui and Moana, proving to Jacqui that she was right to flip on her allies. Once again the tribe voted and once again, it came back a tie.

And hot damn, did that fill Sharn with dread. She quickly started to panic as Jonathan explained the rock draw rules – to the audience that don’t want original flavour Survivor – with the tribe given the chance to come to a consensus, and if they don’t, the players in the tie become immune with anyone else that is immune, and the rest go to rocks. Aka AK, Brooke, Shonee and Sharn. AK quickly rallied the girls and reminded them that the only way to guarantee a majority, with them all agreeing to go to rocks. This led to a desperate Sharn begging them to change their mind, assuring them that if they flip on Jacqui, she promises to align with them. She begged and pleaded with them for what felt like an eternity until Jonathan told them they needed to make a decision, with them ultimately choosing to trust Sharn and turn on Jacqui, sending her from the game.

It was heartbreaking to be reunited with Jacs at the Jury Villa, given she has spent the last few episodes being the only hope of stopping a steamroll. After peeling myself away from Locky, I pulled Jacs into my arms and told her how proud I am of the game she played and that while she is a juror, she landed there for trying something and that alone is something she should be proud of. Oh and then I whipped her up a Smoke Shacqui Patterson which honestly was her favourite part.

I’ve said it thousands of times but it bears repeating, burgers are the absolute best and well, Shack Shake is one of the ultimate makers. And well, the Smoke Shack is my fave – smoky, spicy and a little bit sweet, it is a dream. Like the one Jacqui is living out surrounded by three guys on the jury.

Enjoy!

Smoke Shacqui Patterson
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp dijon mustard
¾ tsp ketchup
½ tsp pickle brine
pinch of cayenne pepper
500g beef mince
8 slices smoked bacon
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper
4 slices American cheese
⅓ cup cherry peppers, finely diced
4 potato buns

Method
Start by combining the mayonnaise, dijon mustard, ketchup, pickle brine and the pinch of cayenne pepper in a bowl. Give a good stir, cover and chill while you prep the rest of the burgers. Ideally an hour or two if you have the time.

Meanwhile, scrunch the beef mince in a large bowl until the meat is starting to come together. Divide into four balls and roll tightly. Place on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge.

While the balls are cooling down, heat a large skillet of medium heat and once nice and hot, cook the bacon until crisp. Remove to a plate lined with paper towel and leave to reat.

Immediately take the burgers out of the fridge, place in the skillet and flatten to about one to two centimetre thickness with a metal spatula and sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper. Cook for a couple of minutes before flipping, seasoning with the remaining salt and pepper and topping each with a slice of cheese. Cook for a further couple of minutes before removing from the heat.

To assemble, toast each of the burger buns in a skillet and smear the top and bottom with a little bit of the chilled sauce. Place the cheesy pattie on the base-bun, followed by some of the cherry peppers and closing.

Then devour, greedily. Ideally with fries.


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Morgan Rickleback

Drink, Survivor, Survivor: Ghost Island, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, a new season kicked off bringing with it the spookiest playground of all, Ghost Island. A land built on the stupidest decisions from survivors past which Jacob was lucky enough to become its first resident. Sadly for him, the cursed artefact he found was a fan favourite SDT’s legacy advantage and he immediately had to will it to someone from the other tribe, going with Morgan to hopefully build an inroad somewhere. Sadly he was not around long enough to see if it would, swiftly booted from Malolo at the next tribal council.

Back at camp James was feeling a bit nervous after getting two votes at the previous tribal, though accepted it should have been him – as the second target, we aren’t getting another Top Model-esque quit – based on his shitty challenge performance. Thankfully the tribal came together and vowed to win the next challenge, which technically some of them are guaranteed to … since it is SWAP TIME!

Yep! Jeffy made a speedy return to the screen, assembling the tribes and Donathan together on the beach the next day to switch things up. This hurt the newly introduced castaway Angela who had formed strong bonds with her fellow Navitans and was going to miss them. Thankfully for her, she still had Dom, Morgan, Chris and Wendell with her on Naviti with James, Laurel, Donathan and Libby as the ring-ins. Over at NuMalolo, Jenna, Stephanie, Brendan and Michael were well screwed, outnumbered by Sebastian, Kellyn, Chelsea, Desiree and Bradley.

Everyone made nice back at NuMalolo where the ex-Naviti members discovered they moved into the shitty camp and they had to pretend to be nice. Well everyone except for Bradley, who made it known that he wasn’t happy to live in a shithole. Thankfully things were looking better at NuNaviti – though how could they not since it is so much nicer, you know – with Wendell confident they wouldn’t be heading to tribal any time soon, since they were stacked. I love you future Donald Glover, but no, the other tribe is stacked.

Angela and Chris went for a turn around the superior camp to talk about sticking together, well until Chris told Angela that Dom had a idol and that blindsiding him is probably the best idea. Chris then took this information to Libby and James to get an alliance started to take him out. While Libby seemed on board with the plan, she assured as she wasn’t one to just go along with anyone’s plans and that Chris should be worried.

The next day Stephanie and Kellyn were enjoying the sunrise together before Bradley sidled up to ruin the moment by shitting on it and complain about how cold it is and how terrible their camp his. While Stephanie and Jenna were frustrated by their whiny new friends, they were aware that being in the minority they would have to suck it up … and find an idol. They then enlisted Michael and Brendan on the hunt – which baby Michael found – while Bradley complained and laughed about voting them off one by one. Question, is it still complaining when nobody is around to listen?

Anyway, Michael now owns one of James’ idols from China. You know, one of the two Todd helped him find before booting him from the game with both of them in his pocket? Also, reminder Michael is 18.

Over at Naviti Morgan and Dom spoke about their concerns about Chris and Angela’s loyalty, deciding to also approach Libby about forming an alliance and to take out their OG tribemates. Given that Libby feels more of a personal connection with Morgan, she feels this is the better option.

Not wanting to leave us hanging, Probst returned for the first immunity challenge as new tribes involving – wait for it – an obstacle course, collecting puzzle pieces and you guessed it, solving said puzzle. That being said, it looks far more epic than any explanation could convey. Malolo got out to an early lead after the first obstacle however struggled to work a ladder – yes, you read that correctly – allowing Naviti – and their glorious cakes – to catch up and take the lead. Briefly. After Sebastian lead Malolo up the first wall challenge. Sadly it didn’t last long, as Dom quickly lead Naviti up the second wall. Thankfully for Malolo, said lead didn’t last long as Kellyn and sad-sack Bradley dominated the puzzle and secured them immunity.

More importantly, I will tolerate Bradley’s whining if the camera focuses on his cakes. I mean, it isn’t Michael, Wendell or Chris, but cake is cake. Malolo then tried to send an OG Maloloan to Ghost Island, until Stephanie dissented and forced them to draw rocks instead. Which tragically ended up saving Chris, who pulled the white rock and found himself heading to Ghost Island instead of tribal council where it was likely he was about to be blindsided.

Arriving at Ghost Island was a daunting experience for Chris, who was sad to be missing tribal and attempting to get out Dom. After discovering he wouldn’t have the chance to snatch an advantage, Chris struggled to contain his emotions and broke down about his mother who struggles with MS. Just when I had written him off as a cocky douche, he pulls me back in.

Speaking of Naviti, the factions quickly got to work deciding who to take out. Angela was confident that the Malolo tribe would be sticking with Chris’ plan to take out Dom, however without him there was too nervous to make the move. She then took the information to Wendell and tried to steer the vote to Libby, though sadly for her Wendell was not keen on the plan to go to rocks and instead decided to switch things up to take out Angela. Wendell then joined Morgan who assured him that Libby would be on their side, birthing a new alliance between them, Dom and the Malolo 4.

Concerned that Malolo would swing straight back to targeting him after Angela was gone, Dom pulled them aside – well, everyone but Donathan – to explain that the idol Chris is paranoid about is completely fake. Sadly James was not buying it at all, and suggested that since Dom will vote for Angela and she will vote someone else, the Malolo 4 could throw their votes on Wendell and Morgan, and take them out without having to form any alliances just yet. While Libby can trust Morgan and wasn’t keen on the idea, she seemed willing to switch … if it makes sense to her game.

At tribal council Wendell spoke about how the vote is likely going to be split down tribal lines, which I’m not sure whether it was a fake out or for real. Dom alluded to talking to Malolo and floating some options, which made Angela feel confident to address being on the fence about which way to go. This in turn made Dom nervous and questioning what her options were. She then spoke about Chris before Morgan pointed out he wasn’t here tonight, so he doesn’t matter.  Libby then shared she was cool to fib if needs be, which made Morgan smile given Libby looks so innocent and sweet and she felt it was super out of character for her. Tragically her admission that even Libby would need to lie, or already has, came to fruition as she found herself out of the game as the third boot.

Like Gone-zalez before her, Mor-gone was none to pleased to find herself out of the game. Though after coming out on the right side of the numbers post swap to still get the chop would piss me off too. Thankfully, booze cures everything and I was making Morgan Rickleback.

 

 

Sure, this technically shouldn’t constitute a recipe since it is literally two shots … but Morgs’ heart wants what it wants. And she wanted to drink away the pain ASAP.

Enjoy!

 

 

Morgan Rickleback
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
1 shot whiskey
1 shot pickle juice/brine

Method
Pour whiskey in one shot glass and the pickle juice in another.

Down whiskey. Down pickle juice. Lather, rinse and repeat. Always repeat.

 

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