Actress

Out of the storm

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Halle Berry gave us a call on the weekend, reminded of the time we jumped in front of her car and caused an accident, by our catch-up with Lisa. (Yes, Halle was the unnamed actress we were planning to scam).

After our stint in rehab (following our arrests and the attempted scam on Halle) and at the encouragement of our LA based mother-figures Lisa and Zsas, we connected with Halle as part of the making amends step of our program and we charmed the pants off her.

Figuratively, not literally.

What says, we tried to scam you out of your pre-Oscar millions and forced your car into the path of another car which led to you being fined for fleeing the scene of a crime and that we are thankful you forgave and befriended us?

Picture source: Jason Merritt/Getty Images.

Eggs in PurgaTori Spelling

Breakfast

I’ve never been more heartbroken at an airport than I was last night. Embarrassed sure (who isn’t when they are arrested for drunk and disorderly behaviour after spotting a colonial woman on the wings?), but never heartbroken.

As soon as Torz locked eyes on us, she started to break down in tears and ran to us for the supportive hug that she knew would be waiting.

We stayed up most of the night talking through all that she has been going through (and wondering if her mother will ever give her, and us, a share in the wrapping room). It has been a tough time, but Tori is tough (she is the only one who could beat Shannen Doherty in an arm-wrestle) and we know she will be ok.

When she woke up this morning to a warm bowl of Eggs in Purgatori Spelling, she was in hysterics due to the symbolic nature of our meal and knowing that she had her humour back, Annelie and I were able to breathe sighs of relief.

 

Eggs in Purgatori Spelling 1

 

The fiery heat of the tomato base and the spice of the chorizo gave Torz the energy and motivation to pick herself back-up and once again become the strong, powerful, feminist icon that the world knows (the Donna Martin graduates storyline was an allegory for equal pay and women’s rights, included at Tori’s behest).

Tori has her spark back and the delicious eggs were a bonus. Enjoy!

 

Eggs in Purgatori Spelling 2

 

Eggs in Purgatori Spelling
Serves 1

Ingredients
400g can diced tomatoes
1 chorizo, sliced into fat coins
2 shallots, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon dried chilli flakes (or more if you prefer)
2 eggs
olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place a lug of oil in a pan (that has a lid) over medium heat, and fry chorizo, shallots and garlic until shallots and garlic are tender. Add chilli flakes and diced tomatoes and bring to the boil.

Reduce heat to simmer and crack eggs into the tomato liquid, place lid on and simmer until eggs are poached to your liking.

Serve with lots of buttery, sourdough toast.

Donna Martin breakfast date

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

It seems word spreads pretty quickly when you catch up with one of the BH Crew.

Torz called us the other day and sounded really down, what with her marriage woes and the axing of her and Jen’s comeback series it is understandable, and needed two of her closest confidantes (we still assume she wants to ride our latest wave of fame, but she is down so we will help).

She is flying in late and spending a few days so we will need something for her first breakfast that gives her back that fire and helps her rebuild.

What says, your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidante? Where we lead, you can follow? You will get by with a little help from your friends?

Hang on, I’ve reverted to (theme) song lyrics.

Picture source: People.

WatermEllen DeGeneres Salad

Side

It is so nice of Ellen to make her second trip down-under for the sole purpose of catching up with us and clearing the air after the furore we created for her show.

She hasn’t changed a bit since that first time we met; so eager to embrace and foster new talent and give them a platform to succeed, while still being friendly and down to earth. She was literally flyin’ solo for the visit (she promised Portia would drop by soon…Annelie played the dancing baby opposite her in Ally McBeal), as she had guests she was hoping to secure in Australia.

Knowing she was out on business, we quickly threw together a WatermEllen DeGeneres Salad to counteract the recent heat-wave and provide Ellen with refreshing sustenance for her important duties.

 

Watermellen Salad 2

 

There is something about watermelon, feta and olives that is inherently satisfying and indulgent and when you add fresh mint and the lime cured onion, you are left with the perfect combination of (almost)summer flavours.

 

Watermellen Salad 3

 

We quickly ate our meal, mindful of Ellen’s official duties, before she dropped the biggest news of the catch-up (no, they are still not having a baby)…she wants to have us on her show again! This time as socialite-celebrity cooks, rather than as the classically trained contemporary dance troupe, Jazz in Your Face.

Our people are still talking, but stay tuned for our return appearance.

In the meantime, enjoy!

WatermEllen DeGeneres Salad
Ingredients
½ watermelon
200g feta
1 small red onion, thinly sliced
1 small bunch of mint, leaves roughly chopped
½ cup pitted kalamata olives, sliced
1 lime
olive oil
salt and pepper, to season

Method
In small bowl, combine sliced red onion with the juice of the lime to slightly cure.

Dice watermelon and feta into similar sized cubes (I went with roughly 1.5cm dice), and place in a large bowl with the sliced olives and a generous handful of mint.

Pour cured onion and juice into bowl with a good lug of oil. Toss (the salad) and season to taste.

Let’s have a little fun, this week

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

What a blast from the past it was to hear from Ellen today!

Annelie and I first met Ellen when she was taking a lunch break during the recording of her role in Finding Nemo. We had just failed our auditions for Nemo and the flock of seagulls respectively, so decided it best to focus on our dance troupe Jazz in your Face; Ellen spotted us in the car-park and was impressed by our impromptu performance.

Having only been witness to half of Jazz in your Face’s dance majesty, Ellen kindly invited us to perform on her then-upcoming talk show. The routine lead to a record breaking number of complaints for inappropriate behaviour and thousands of dollars in fines for Ellen.

What says sorry we cost you so much money and nearly ruined your reputation as a talk-show host…and risked you being thrown off air in your first season?

Picture source: ABC News.

Pizsa Zsa Gabor

Main

Some things never change; Zsas is a spitfire with a heart of gold and we love her for all that she has done in keeping our lives together.

After her driver dropped her off at 5PM for our dinner (this is due to the elderly needing to eat early, and by that I mean Annelie and I need to eat early) she immediately launched into her concerns that I was living in an unsafe neighbourhood (“Grifters and vagrants everywhere, Darling”) and my kitchen was barely that (“This box is a kitchen? Darling, we will call it the Deluded Kitchen until you upgrade”).

Being that Zsa Zsa was like a surrogate mother to us throughout the years, we felt the need to make something homely and loving, so went with a Pizsa Zsa Gabor.

 

pizsa-zsa-gabor-1

 

The dough had nothing it needed to prove (classic), being as warm and soft as one of Zsas’ hugs. In turn, the pizza was as spicy as her love life, brought out her exotic edge … and highlighted her hot temper.

She loved it, we love her. Enjoy!

 

pizsa-zsa-gabor-2

 

Pizsa Zsa Gabor
Ingredients
Pizza Dough
2 cups warm water
1 ½ tsp dried yeast
½ tsp caster sugar
785g plain flour
1 tbs salt
3 tbs grated parmesan
3 tbs finely chopped herbs (I use oregano, rosemary and sage)

Topping and assembly
½ butternut pumpkin, diced
cinnamon
200g feta, diced
chilli flakes
small bunch of sage
tomato sauce or paste
herbs
cheese to top

Method
Place yeast, sugar and water in a bowl and stir to dissolve. Stand for 5 minutes, or until mixture starts to foam. Sift flour and salt into a bowl, add the yeast mixture, parmesan and herbs and stir until dough starts to come together.

Knead dough on a lightly floured surface for 8 minutes or until smooth and elastic (you could use an electric mixer, but we learnt that kneading was therapeutic in anger management). Move to a large, oiled bowl and cover with cling-wrap; set aside in a warm place to prove for 3 hours or until doubled in size.

Knock back the dough and divide into 6 balls. Place on a large tray and cover with a damp cloth (tea towels work great) for a further 2 hours. If you don’t want to make 6 pizzas (don’t know why you wouldn’t but in case), you can wrap the remaining dough balls in cling-wrap before proving and freeze for 2 months. You can then defrost and prove as usual.

When you’re almost ready to start, pre-heat oven to 180C.

Spread diced pumpkin on a small tray and coat with a dash of oil and some cinnamon (I am pretty heavy handed, but this is discretionary). Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

While the pumpkin is cooling slightly, flatten the dough out to fit the pizza tray (or whatever you are cooking it on). Full disclosure, I am terrible at flattening out the dough. I would suggest searching YouTube for instructions. It didn’t help me, but I assume it didn’t hurt either.

Cover with a tomato sauce (I just used tomato paste and the remaining herbs), sprinkle with chilli flakes (again, quantity is discretionary) and spread sage leaves, pumpkin and feta over the top.

Bake, serve and then eat.

Dinner, darling?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Annelie and I got the surprise of our lives this morning when Zsa Zsa’s people called to tee-up a dinner date.

Don’t get me wrong, we love Zsa Zsa and think of her like family, we just kind of forgot she was still alive…so thankfully she wanted to catch-up before she…wasn’t (although with our invention of time-travel, that probably wouldn’t matter).

We first connected with Gabor in a Beverly Hills jail; Zsas was accused of slapping a cop, I was charged with causing a scene and assaulting a mannequin that I thought was my nemesis Kim Cattrall in Badgley Mischka (it was a big mistake) and Annelie turned herself in for public indecency and lewd behaviour when the police failed to notice her flashing across the road from Zsa Zsa’s arrest.

What do you make for the elderly woman that noticed your cries for help, took you in and cared for you as her own when rehab failed (I was addicted to caffeine pills and shooting glucose syrup into my eyeballs, Annelie was addicted to Twinkies and snorting icing sugar) and Hollywood turned its back on you?

Kissing and making up

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I think we have created a monster!

Claire got wind of the dinner parties we hosted for Kim, Sean and Luke and begged us to forget our feud and have her over like we did during the good times we shared during our friendship.

We agreed but were left not just wondering what to make for our celebrity friend, but what to make for the celebrity friend that we lost contact/fought with after the Billy Crudup/Mary-Louise Parker pregnancy/break-up fiasco of 2003.

What says, we have moved on from your role in that cad abandoning our dear friend MLP while she was pregnant and are ready to move forward and remember the good times when we worked on Romeo + Juliet (our scenes, though masterfully acted, were cut. A plague on your house Baz)?