Month: November 2015

Duck à la Solange

Main

Where do I even begin to explain the deep, complex, passionate platonic-love story between us and our dear friend SoKnow?

We first met So during the late 90s, when the world was quickly falling crazy in love with Beyoncé and the rest of the destiny’s children. SoKnow, filled with so much creative talent and energy, needed a way to burn through her untapped potential and joined the Upper Whitney Houston chapter of our Extreme Fight Club.

SoKnow excelled from a young age (picture a kind, likeable version of Ronda Rousey) and rose through to ranks where we met her at our EFC Centre in East Hollywood – did I mention we turned it into a religion/cult like Scientology?

Our bond with Solange was instantaneous and continued over the decades, with So becoming one of our most trusted friends, advisors and confidantes. She was the only person we trusted to keep Jay-Z in line after breaking the first rule of fight club, to not talk about fight club.

Obviously as founders, we are exempt from such rules. Jay-Z is not above the rules.

It was so great catching up with SoKnow after such a busy year – we hadn’t realised that our hard work had led us to our 100th recipe milestone, but you better believe she did.

Knowing our penchant for wanky gifts, she looked through Chloe Sevigny’s list of must haves (I mean, who doesn’t want to never speak to Jeanne Tripplehorn again) and arrived with a vintage half-kaftan by Vivienne Westwood Gold Label, an ironic art smock by Balenciaga le dix, imitation pants by Cacharel and stand-up comedy classes.

The only way we could repay her support, kindness and generosity was a meal of our famous Duck à la Solange.

 

Duck à la Solange_1

 

The 80s have had a strong impact on our lives, none more so than the delicacies of a kitsch kitchen. While I have always had a soft spot for the idea of Duck à l’orange, I hate orange in cooking. Enter, the sublimeness of SoKnow – crispy skin duck with Grand Marnier and sour cherry glaze to dial back the overpowering orange flavour, leaving you with a gloriously rich, tangy citrus to cut through the duck.

Enjoy!

Oh, and thank you for reading – you’re the best and you’re beautiful, but not as good or as beautiful as us. Obviously.

 

Duck à la Solange_2

 

Duck à la Solange
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 duck breasts
1 tsp salt
1 sprig rosemary, finely chopped
2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup pitted cherries
freshly ground black pepper, to taste
30ml Grand Marnier
½ cup chicken stock
1 tsp cornflour

Method
Score the skin of each duck breast with diagonal lines, cutting into the fat but not into the flesh and rub with the salt and chopped rosemary.

On a medium hot pan, seal the skin side of the duck breasts for about 10 minutes, skimming the fat if it gets too excessive. Once the skin has crisped, turn the breast over and seal on the other side. Cook the breasts for a total of about 20 minutes, turning for a few minutes to seal the remaining sides. Remove from the pan and leave to rest in a warm place for about 15 minutes.

Add the butter to the dark fat and cook to a nut brown before adding the cherries and a good whack of pepper. Deglaze the pan with the Grand Marnier and then add the stock and cornflour, increasing the temperature until the sauce has reduced down to a syrupy glaze.

Serve the duck on crispy fried potatoes or fried broccolini, doused in the cherry-citrus glaze.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

You like us, right now, you like us

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Oh my god, it is such a shock, and again, truly an honour to be crossing off another blogging milestone. Thank you!

If you had told us a year ago that we would be reaching 100 posts we would have thrown a drink at you, pushed you in a pool and Alexis Carrington-ed our way to the front pages of a scandalous tabloid to boost our publicity and cut out the hard work. I mean, 100 recipes/catch-ups? That is work.

Surprisingly, we didn’t take the easy route to minimal fame and no fortune (although obviously I am keen to sell my sex tape, You’ll love your Ben) and stuck it out socialising with our famous friends (and foes), while documenting every step of the process like the anthropological gods that we are.

Skarsy was unavailable / too scared to help us celebrate this joyous occasion, so we reached out to our dear friend and favourite Knowles, Solange.

It may have been cold there in Beyoncé’s shadow, but our love and friendship was more than enough to warm Solange’s heart. I guess her own talent is also heart-warming, but our love is surely more meaningful.

What says thank you for your ongoing support and being the true star of the wider Knowles-Z family?

Picture source: Kristy Sparow / Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake

Cake, Dessert, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

Well that was a pleasant little surprise on last night’s episode!

I mean, yes, we are friends with Savage (closer to frenemies) via his Pearl Islands cast-mate and two-time champ Sandra Diaz-Twine, there is nothing we love more than a delightful blindside. Particularly when it involves an idol blindsiding the entire tribe and poor Lil’ Fish, sexy-pants Joe and our favourite Unholy Trinity, Abi, Ciera and Kelley surviving another round.

Let’s not beat around my bush here, Andrew Savage was ropable when he greeted the Queen of Ponderosa and us after his weigh in; shouting expletives about those damn twists that just won’t let him win and how his perfect life, complete with wife, past legal career with Playboy and copious amounts of the money, is now ruined.

Thankfully, Annelie and I knew how to help break him out of his funk and dressed up as Skinny Ryan and Lil and challenged him to a cage-fight to work through him anger.

Once he was calmed, Savage was philosophical about the whole experience; understanding the importance of not everything going his way and feeling remorse for the way he flipped off Abi after she so thoughtfully pointed out he had bettered his place since the Pearl Islands and made the jury.

While he was sad that he will no longer be able to witness Joe’s balls move, and then move a little more resulting in Keith being solid and Joe’s (and probably Probst) having tight forearms, he was thrilled to be attending all future tribals, particularly after a stomach full of our Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake.

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake_1

 

This little number is a tweaked version of a Martha Stewart cake that is so rich, decadent and firmly upper-middle class and judgemental of anything different, that we knew it was the perfect pick-me-up for Andy Pandy.

Enjoy!

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake_2

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake
Serves: 10-12. Or a ropeable bootee, a Queen of Ponderosa and two crazies dressed as Ryan Shoulders and Lil.

Ingredients
Cake
3 ¾  cups plain flour
1 ¼  tsp baking powder
¾  tsp baking soda
2 ½  tsp salt
285g unsalted butter, softened
2 ½ cups muscovado sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
20ml pure vanilla extract
1 ¼ tsp dark rum
1 ¼ cups buttermilk, room temperature

Icing
345g butter, 115g left as a block, 230g cut into small pieces, softened
2 cups muscovado sugar
1 cup double cream
½ tsp salt
570g cream cheese, softened
½ cup icing sugar, sifted

Butterscotch
⅔ cup muscovado sugar
85g butter, cut into pieces
150g raw caster sugar
30ml water
¼ tsp coarse salt
½ cup double cream
2 cups pecan halves, toasted and chopped, plus more halves for garnish

Method
Preheat oven to 160C. Grease three 20cm pans and line the base with baking paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder and soda, and salt.

In a large bowl, beat the butter and muscovado sugar using a stand mixer on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy. This is roughly 6 minutes. One at a time, beat in the eggs, beating well after each addition,followed by the vanilla and the rum.

Add half of the flour mixture, removing the paddle to mix through lest you want a massive flour massacre sprayed against your walls, put it back in the stand mixture and put on low before slowly adding half of the buttermilk. Repeat the process with the remaining flour and buttermilk. Increase the speed to medium-high, and beat for a further 2 minutes to completely combine.

Split the batter among the three pans and bake until golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean, about 30-40 minutes. Transfer to wire racks, and let cool slightly before turning the cakes out and cooling completely. Emphasis on completely.

While the cakes are cooling, start on the icing by melting the block/chunk of butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat until golden brown, about 8 minutes. Add the muscovado sugar, cream and salt, stirring until sugar is completely dissolved. Bring to the boil, whisking constantly, and cook for 3 minutes. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and leave to cool. If you’re in a rush, pop it in the fridge for twenty minutes, stirring half way through, to help the process along.

Put the bowl in the stand mixer on low speed, add the cubed butter, a few pieces at a time, and beat on low until incorporated. Increase to medium, and beat for 2 minutes. In another bowl, beat the cream cheese and icing sugar on medium-high until fluffy and smooth, about 3 minutes. Don’t over-beat or the cream cheese will go soft. Add brown-butter mixture to cream cheese, and beat on medium speed until smooth. Cover, and refrigerate until chilled, about 4 hours.

To make the butterscotch, mix the sugars, water, butter and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until the sugar dissolves. Bring to the boil and cook for a further 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cream before returning to the heat for a further 2 minutes. Leave to cool slightly while you prep the cakes.

Trim the top off two of the cakes and both the top and bottom of third (for the middle) to create flat, absorbent surfaces.

Take the butterscotch and brush about 100ml of the butterscotch on each cut side. Leave to cool.

Remove the icing from the fridge and spread 1 cup of icing on the butterscotch side of the base layer. Place the middle, double-sauced layer on top. Spread 1 cup of icing on the middle layer, then place the final layer on top, sauce side down. Spread 1 cup icing on the top and sides and refrigerate until firm, at least 2 hours (or it may get melty…like the pictures because of the Cambodian heat.

Using a spatula, spread remaining icing (or less, it makes stacks and lets be honest, those offcuts aren’t going to eat themselves so may need some leftover sauce/icing to entice you), on the top and sides of cake. Press chopped pecans on sides and garnish top with halves. Refrigerate for a further 4 hours and devour.

On plates, or as per Probst’s suggestion, on Savage’s naked body. Kass, surprisingly, Annelie and I went for plate option.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins

Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Ken is such a doll – you have no idea!

While I had the pleasure of catching up with Ken for drinks at PUMP just after seeing Lisa last year, poor Annelie wasn’t able to attend and, I think, has been struggling with missing our Hollywood father-figure a little more than I do.

As fans would know, Ken is kind, thoughtful and loving man and despite being solo (he didn’t want Giggy to end up in a Pistol and Boo scenario) he filled our house with so much heart!

Ken regaled us with spoilers from the upcoming season of RHOBH (you’ll never guess who Rinna glasses this year), while we gave thanks for our achievements over the last year and brainstormed ideas for the next venue in the Vanderpump-Todd dining dynasty.

Given that our date was to celebrate an early thanksgiving, and Ken is such a sweetie, we had to go with our Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins.

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins_1

 

Pumpkin is probably one of my favourite ingredients, the sweetness mixed with the earthy, rich, woodiness is so versatile and so delicious.

Add it to a cinnamon coated muffin and you’re in heaven. Enjoy!

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins_2

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
small butternut pumpkin, baked and blitzed into a puree (you’ll need 1 ¼ cups puree)
140g unsalted butter, room temperature
3 cups plain flour
2 ½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp baking soda
1 tsp coarse salt
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ tsp ground allspice
⅓ cup buttermilk
¾ cup dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 ½ tsp ground cinnamon

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C. Place the pumpkin on a lined tray and baking for about 50 minutes. Remove from the oven, slice in half, seed and leave to cool for about half an hour. Once cooled blitz into a puree in a blender or food processor.

Reduce the heat of the oven to 170°C.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and allspice together in a medium bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk and pumpkin puree.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar on medium speed of an electric mixer until fluffy and pale brown. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Reduce the mixer to low and add a third of the flour mixture, then add half the buttermilk-puree hybrid, followed by another third of flour, the rest of the buttermilk-puree and then, you guessed it, the last of the flour.

Divide the mixture evenly amongst 8 lined Texas muffin tins and bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Let muffins cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack in the pan.

While they are cooling, combine the caster sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl.

One at a time, remove the muffins from the pan and toss in the sugar mixture until coated and place on the wire rack. Repeat until they are done.

Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

La Vie en Villa Rosa

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you know, we’ve long been friends with the Vanderpump-Todds. Lisa took us in during the early 00s after we pulled our Halle Berry crash scam and she and Ken were instantly drawn to us. Probably because they felt we needed supervision / help.

When Lisa dropped by for Thanksgiving last year, poor Ken was unable to come as he had to attend a black tie gala with the Gigster. Thankfully Ken wanted to make up for missing out and is dropping down to see us before the festive season.

Ken is such an angel and has always looked after us, making sure we’re dressed appropriately for the weather, bailing us out of jail and giving us jobs at SUR / Villa Blanca whenever we’ve hit financial hardship.

What do you make for such a sweet, sweet man?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Kass McChickllen

Main, Party Food, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance

Oy vey – why oh why did we have to lose our dear, sweet Chaos Kass?

We’ve been friends with the breakout Cagayan star slash villain turned Second Chances hero since our old law school days. Kass was a shy, retiring type in college so we took her under our wings and became her unwanted life coaches.

While our advice generally resulted in lawsuits against her rather, she remembered we were Survivor super fans when she was cast in Cagayan and re-enlisted our services due to our cut-throat, callous and heavily deranged behaviour where we coached her to third place.

We would have gotten her the win (using a combination of bribes and sexual favours on our part), if it wasn’t for that meddling kid, our (now) friend, Woo.

Kass came into Cambodia with arguably the biggest target on her back but was able to woo (no pun intended) people to her side with her truly kind and loving nature – thankfully she avoided tribal for such a long time that she was able to connect with everyone!

As usual, the merge episode was complete and utter bedlam with alliances shifting and people trying to find their place to secure their path to the final tribal however this season instead of targeting the biggest, physical threats the two smallest women were the targets.

Obviously because they were the two smartest players left. Oh and I’m guessing that has something to do with the fact that Spencer desperately wants to swing with Joe? I don’t usually like Spencer, however I have to admire his exquisite taste in men – and I mean, the thirst is real, so why would anyone target our current bae?

So while Kind/Kumbaya/Kalm Kass made her exit to Ponderosa, she was buoyed by the fact that she was able improve upon her placement from her last season to become the Queen of the Jury, rather than the last loser on the jury. You just know that called for a jubilantly, sorrowful Kass McChickllen.

 

Kass McChicklen_1

 

This is may come as a shock to you, but this recipe is an homage to the famous burger from our friend Bozo the Bush and his Golden Arches … and a pretty good one at that.

Spicy, sweet, lovely and a little bit naughty this is everything our dear Kass brings to the game and more – thankfully we get to enjoy her for the rest of the season, giving Eliza Orlins sass from the loser’s bench. We can dream, right?

While we are dreaming, can we have Third time’s the Charm greenlit yet? You can even just send this cast back out again, I don’t mind!

Enjoy!

 

Kass McChicklen_2

 

Kass McChickllen
Serves: 4

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
1 cup water
1 cup plain flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp onion powder
¼ tsp ground black pepper
⅛ tsp garlic powder
4 sesame seed hamburger buns
iceberg lettuce, chopped
vegetable oil, for “shallow” frying

Sauce
60ml mayonnaise
⅛ tsp onion powder

Method
Place the chicken mince in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Divide into four patties and place in the fridge to set for at least an hour. While you’re refrigerating things, combine the sauce ingredients and refrigerate until needed.

Beat the egg and stir with the water in a large, shallow bowl and combine the flour, salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder in a second bowl.

Grab the patties out of the fridge and coat each with the flour mixture, remove and dredge each filet in the egg mixture, before coating in the flour mix again. Place in a freezer bag and freeze for an hour.

Remove and repeat the flour and dredging process again and leave to rest for about ten minutes.

Heat a generous lug of oil in a large frying pan, I mean crazy generous but not enough to technically consider it shallow frying as you know it scares me. Cook the patties for about 5-6 minutes per side, or until light brown and crispy. As the chicken is frying, toast the buns in a second, smaller frying pan.

To build the burgers, coat each side of the bun with some of the special (but not that … or indeed that, special) sauce, whack a good handful of lettuce on the base of the bun and top with the hot pattie.

Devour and be thankful that Kass is still with us on TV.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos

Main

Lenny, Lenny, Lenny – oh how we love you Lenny!

While there was no offer of a seamstress position in his entourage, the fact that he just came down to catch up is just the sweetest! Plus, it proves that he is smart enough to realise we would sabotage his clothes for our own malfunction pleasure.

We first connected with Lenny via his then wife Lisa, who we worked with on The Cosby Show which led to Annelie and I being the maid of honour and best man at their ‘87 Vegas wedding.

The friendly chemistry between us and Lenny was immediate and we were instrumental in him securing his first record contract, with Annelie playing the role of his muse while I tried to find a loophole in his marriage to Lisa to further my career as a groupie.

Len has been so busy lately, with first two Hunger Games movies, his tenth album (which we also produced) and his furniture collection, it was so nice to see him take the time to relax and just hang with us.

We wanted something fun, hot, spicy and casual to set the mood of our date, that was also messy so we could see Len without his shirt – obviously that meant our Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos were on the menu.

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_1

 

We are Chipotle fiends and as they are sadly not in Australia, we’ve had to play around with the copycat recipes online to find something that works for us. The marinade is hot and smokey, which is beautifully countered by the zing of the guacamole and the freshness of the salsa.

I am not going to lie, this recipe is a lot of work … but Len is totally worth it. Plus, they are messy so it does become clothing optional – enjoy!

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_2

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
Corn tortillas
Sour Cream
Grated Cheese

Corn Salsa
1 cup sweet corn kernels
2 poblano chillies, finely diced
2 red chillies, finely diced
½ spanish onion, finely diced
⅓ cup coriander, finely chopped
1 tbsp lime juice
Salt and pepper, to taste

Salsa
1 large tomato, roughly diced
10g hot chilli powder
5g hot paprika
2 tbsp coriander
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp of lime juice
¼ cup red onion, quartered
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tbsp hot chilli flakes

Guacamole
2 large hass avocados
½ jalapeño pepper, seeded, and diced
¼ of a red onion, finely diced
2 tbsp coriander, finely diced
¼ a lime, juiced
¼ tsp salt

Rice
1 tsp butter
2 tsp coriander, diced
⅔ cup brown rice
1 cup water
½  tsp salt
1 lime, juiced

Chipotle Chicken
200g can chipotle pepper in adobo sauce
1 tsp black pepper
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped
6 cloves garlic
2 tsp salt
1 red onion, quartered
¼ cup oil (canola/vegetable/olive)
1kg chicken breasts

Method
Corn Salsa
Heat a lug of oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and fry the corn and diced chillies for a few minutes. Remove from the heat and add the other ingredients. Season to taste.

Salsa
Chuck all of the ingredients into a blender or food processor. Blitz. Leave to sit for an hour or two, covered, in the fridge to allow the flavours to develop.

Guacamole
Place all of the ingredients into a medium bowl and mash until smoothed. Season to taste and adjust accordingly. As you would be aware, we love to liquify our insides with hot food so advise leaving in the jalapeño seeds for an extra kick.

Rice
Heat butter in a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan over low heat. Add the rice and lime juice, and stir for a minute before the adding water and salt. Bring to a rapid, vigorous boil. Once boiling, cover the pan and reduce heat to a simmer leave over low heat until rice is tender and the water is absorbed, about 25 minutes. I’d advise you start checking from 20, but I am highly impatient.

Chipotle Chicken
Place all of the ingredients (other than the chicken) in blender and puree until smooth.

Stab chicken with a metal skewer or fork and cover with the marinade. Place in a large bowl and refrigerate for at least one hour or overnight.

Heat a lug of oil to medium high in a large skillet and fry chicken, a few breasts at a time, for five-ish minutes each side. Remove from the heat and roughly chop into 1cm-ish chunky, shreds. Repeat until the chicken is all done and return to the pan with the remaining marinade and fry for a few minutes.

Serve heaped in wrapped warmed corn tortillas with any combination of elements and sour cream and grated cheese.

Obviously these recipes are based on those served in Chipotle and are a combination of those we’ve sourced online and tweaked over the years. Just, you know, full disclosure.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

American Woah-Man

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Our dear friend Lenny Kravitz gave us a call the other day to let us know he would be going our way, we assume because he is looking for a new seamstress and knows that both Annelie and I slay on the Janome.

While we seem perfect for the job, our passion for wardrobe malfunctions, particularly those involving Len’s junk, make it one of his worse ideas. (Especially if he knew that it was my handiwork with the unpicker that lead to him putting the Cockholm in Sweden).

Despite being celibate now, Len oozes sensuality and as such, we always try to get him in the mood by whipping up something hot and spicy. What should we serve?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.