Jerry Festillervus Cake

12 days of Festivus for the rest of us, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

We nearing the end of our 12 days of Festivus celebrations – after, wait for it, catching up with Jase, Heid, Barn, Liz, Wayne, Mike, Pat, John, J-Lou and Estelle – and as such, it is time to unleash the one-two Jerry punch. Since Seiny is obvi atop the Festivus pole, that means today is all about the king and creator of Festivus, my dear friend Jerry Stiller.

I’ve known Jez the longest of the Seinfeld bunch, having met in the early ‘50s.

You see I was working in a bridal shop in flushing … sorry, wrong show. I was working at a diner in Midtown and Jez came in with a nice young lady for a cup of coffee after he agent was rude to her. The young lady, his beautiful future wife Anne Meara  and it goes without saying that my service played a huge role in their eventual relationship.

I was the Best Man of Honour at their wedding in ‘54, am godfather to little Ben – who was named after, obviously – and was integral in getting the role of Frank recast because I knew that it truly was the role Jez was born to play.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I haven’t seen much of Jez since Anne passed away in 2015, so it was so wonderful to see him doing so, so well. There was a lot of laughter, plenty of tears and even a few grievances aired – his, most notably, was how little we see of each other – as we sat down to devour a traditional, hallowed Jerry Festillervus Cake.

 

 

While the TV Festivus dinner never featured the Festivus cake, this delight is a tradition of the real celebration. A light, moist chocolate cake, slathered in sweet chocolate buttercream and dotted with M&M’s? Sign me up … and yourselves.

Enjoy!

 

 

Jerry Festillervus Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
200g raw caster sugar
250g unsalted butter, softened
3 tsp vanilla extract
200g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
¼ cup cocoa powder
2 eggs
275ml sour cream
200g dark chocolate, chopped
300g icing sugar
1 tbsp golden syrup
M&M’s

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Cream the caster sugar with 175g of unsalted butter and 2 tsp of the vanilla until light and fluffy. In another bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, bicarb and cocoa. And then … in a third bowl, whisk the eggs and 150ml of the sour cream. Add the second and third bowls, alternating in thirds, until it is all combined.

Pour the batter into a 30 x 30cm cake tin and bake for 30 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely on a cooling rack.

To make this icing, melt the remaining butter and chocolate in a medium bowl in a microwave until just melted and easily combined. Sieve in the icing sugar and stir through the golden syrup and remaining sour cream and vanilla until just combined. Ice the cake immediately, smoothing the edges half-assedly as you go.

Spell ‘Happy Festivus’ with M&M’s as best as your skills will take you … before carving up and devouring. Like a monster.

 

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Judahmole Frightlander

Dip, Halloween, Party Food, Side, Snack, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

While Teens, Al, Tracy and Jane were the stars of 30 Rock, it was the majesty of the supporting cast that kept us on set … which in turn, took the show to the stratospheric heights of quality that it did.

But I guess that has a lot to do with the fact that we were highly involved in the casting process and ensured that some of our most talented friends, like the dear Judah Friedlander, were cast.

I first met little Judy on the set of Wet Hot American Summer while acting as part of Ames’ entourage where we quickly bonded over our mutual experiences earning money busking as a Stockard Channing/Rizzo impersonator on Hollywood Boulevard and Times Square.

While we briefly lost contact after his appearance in Zoolander – Skarsy had a restraining order against me at the time –  we reconnected on the set of Along Came Polly which I had ghostwritten.

When Teens called lamenting her struggles rounding out the principal cast, I knew that Judes was the only person that could possibly – outside of me – play Frank.

Judes and I haven’t been able to catch-up lately, with him riding a career wave after his stellar performance in Sharknado 2, so it was such a treat to have him over to celebrate Halloween over a freaky Judahmole Frightlander.

 

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Guacamole is amazing, make no mistakes about it. I mean, what else makes you spend your last $2 dollars just to perfect a burrito at Chipotle?

But it can quickly turn sinister. As green as snot, as smoky as a burnt witch and flecked with blackened eyes – this guac reads sickeningly but tastes delicious.

Enjoy!

 

judahmole-frightlander-2

 

Judahmole Frightlander
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
400g black beans, drained and rinsed
2 shallots, finely diced
2 chipotle chillies in adobo, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
juice of a lime
2 very ripe avocados, pitted and mashed
small handful of coriander, roughly chopped
blue tortilla chips, to serve

Method
Mix everything – bar chips, obviously – in a large bowl.

Season to taste.

Devour. Greedily.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos

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Lenny, Lenny, Lenny – oh how we love you Lenny!

While there was no offer of a seamstress position in his entourage, the fact that he just came down to catch up is just the sweetest! Plus, it proves that he is smart enough to realise we would sabotage his clothes for our own malfunction pleasure.

We first connected with Lenny via his then wife Lisa, who we worked with on The Cosby Show which led to Annelie and I being the maid of honour and best man at their ‘87 Vegas wedding.

The friendly chemistry between us and Lenny was immediate and we were instrumental in him securing his first record contract, with Annelie playing the role of his muse while I tried to find a loophole in his marriage to Lisa to further my career as a groupie.

Len has been so busy lately, with first two Hunger Games movies, his tenth album (which we also produced) and his furniture collection, it was so nice to see him take the time to relax and just hang with us.

We wanted something fun, hot, spicy and casual to set the mood of our date, that was also messy so we could see Len without his shirt – obviously that meant our Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos were on the menu.

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_1

 

We are Chipotle fiends and as they are sadly not in Australia, we’ve had to play around with the copycat recipes online to find something that works for us. The marinade is hot and smokey, which is beautifully countered by the zing of the guacamole and the freshness of the salsa.

I am not going to lie, this recipe is a lot of work … but Len is totally worth it. Plus, they are messy so it does become clothing optional – enjoy!

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_2

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
Corn tortillas
Sour Cream
Grated Cheese

Corn Salsa
1 cup sweet corn kernels
2 poblano chillies, finely diced
2 red chillies, finely diced
½ spanish onion, finely diced
⅓ cup coriander, finely chopped
1 tbsp lime juice
Salt and pepper, to taste

Salsa
1 large tomato, roughly diced
10g hot chilli powder
5g hot paprika
2 tbsp coriander
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp of lime juice
¼ cup red onion, quartered
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tbsp hot chilli flakes

Guacamole
2 large hass avocados
½ jalapeño pepper, seeded, and diced
¼ of a red onion, finely diced
2 tbsp coriander, finely diced
¼ a lime, juiced
¼ tsp salt

Rice
1 tsp butter
2 tsp coriander, diced
⅔ cup brown rice
1 cup water
½  tsp salt
1 lime, juiced

Chipotle Chicken
200g can chipotle pepper in adobo sauce
1 tsp black pepper
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped
6 cloves garlic
2 tsp salt
1 red onion, quartered
¼ cup oil (canola/vegetable/olive)
1kg chicken breasts

Method
Corn Salsa
Heat a lug of oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and fry the corn and diced chillies for a few minutes. Remove from the heat and add the other ingredients. Season to taste.

Salsa
Chuck all of the ingredients into a blender or food processor. Blitz. Leave to sit for an hour or two, covered, in the fridge to allow the flavours to develop.

Guacamole
Place all of the ingredients into a medium bowl and mash until smoothed. Season to taste and adjust accordingly. As you would be aware, we love to liquify our insides with hot food so advise leaving in the jalapeño seeds for an extra kick.

Rice
Heat butter in a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan over low heat. Add the rice and lime juice, and stir for a minute before the adding water and salt. Bring to a rapid, vigorous boil. Once boiling, cover the pan and reduce heat to a simmer leave over low heat until rice is tender and the water is absorbed, about 25 minutes. I’d advise you start checking from 20, but I am highly impatient.

Chipotle Chicken
Place all of the ingredients (other than the chicken) in blender and puree until smooth.

Stab chicken with a metal skewer or fork and cover with the marinade. Place in a large bowl and refrigerate for at least one hour or overnight.

Heat a lug of oil to medium high in a large skillet and fry chicken, a few breasts at a time, for five-ish minutes each side. Remove from the heat and roughly chop into 1cm-ish chunky, shreds. Repeat until the chicken is all done and return to the pan with the remaining marinade and fry for a few minutes.

Serve heaped in wrapped warmed corn tortillas with any combination of elements and sour cream and grated cheese.

Obviously these recipes are based on those served in Chipotle and are a combination of those we’ve sourced online and tweaked over the years. Just, you know, full disclosure.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

American Woah-Man

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Our dear friend Lenny Kravitz gave us a call the other day to let us know he would be going our way, we assume because he is looking for a new seamstress and knows that both Annelie and I slay on the Janome.

While we seem perfect for the job, our passion for wardrobe malfunctions, particularly those involving Len’s junk, make it one of his worse ideas. (Especially if he knew that it was my handiwork with the unpicker that lead to him putting the Cockholm in Sweden).

Despite being celibate now, Len oozes sensuality and as such, we always try to get him in the mood by whipping up something hot and spicy. What should we serve?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Christopher Porken Meatballs

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While it feels odd to celebrate anything relating to the Williams’ in this their time of scandal, seeing Chris and celebrating his ironic (thankfully he could confirm it) turn as Captain Hook in the extremely long-winded and completely horrible Peter Pan Live! was something we needed to do.

Yes the show was completely terrible, but we love Chris and are obviously highly supportive of his performance and his tap dancing.

We first met Chris on the set of Annie Hall where our friend Carol Kane got us a job as Diane Keaton’s vocal coach. Chris was just on the precipice of greatness with his turn in The Deer Hunter and made the time to mingle with all of his colleagues, even the entourage members / sham vocal coaches.

Thanks to the warmth and effervescent spark of Chris, we were platonically swept off our feet touring the Oscars red-carpets, hosting Hollywood soirees and sailing the SoCal coast and islands with our close friends.

As you would know, our group was struck down by tragedy when dear Natalie Wood passed away. Christopher was deeply upset and while Annelie and I tried to help him we turned to drugs while working through our own grief.

After a stint in rehab, we received a call from our friend Grace who asked for our help persuading Chris to appear in A View to a Kill. Working together on the film, we were able to work through our pain and restore our friendship, and have enjoyed a close, collaborative friendship ever since.

(Obviously the SEX book is our favourite collaboration).

Chris is still the warmest, mostly lively man we have ever met and his plot for a prequel to his Bond movie is just the sort of project we need to get back in Grace’s good, well, graces. Thankfully we threw together a quick batch of our Christopher Porken Meatballs and were able to really get the creative juices flowing.

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs_1

 

In my fat kid’s version of favourite things, meatballs are high on the list and these are the perfect example of why; spicy, fresh and versatile. You can literally chuck them with anything and you’re good to go.

Maybe don’t serve with cake? Although if it works, let us know.

Enjoy!

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs_2

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g pork mince
2 tsp salt
3 pickled hot cherry peppers, finely chopped
2 slices toasted white bread, blitzed to a ghetto breadcrumb
1 small onion, very finely diced
1 large egg
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp hot sauce
small handful flat leaf parsley, finely diced
good pinch of ground pepper

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and mix together. Form golf-ball sized meatballs, rolling between your hands until smooth and place onto a lined baking sheet.

Once all the balls are rolled, place tray in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until cooked through.

Serve however you want, with pasta and a herby tomato sauce, on mini rolls as sliders, with mash and mushroom sauce or as we’ve done, with parmesan sauce and a salad.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Alexander Smarsbård Cake

Dessert

I can not believe that it has finally happened – turns out dreams really do come true! For you, our dear readers, that dream was (we assume), to enjoy our Hollywood tales and witness us reach our fiftieth recipe and for us that dream was for each of us to be ravaged by Skarsy.

While neither of us kiss and tell, we definitely enjoyed our times with Alex (and I am definitely calling him again behind Annelie’s back, I didn’t like having to time share him between our houses).

Alex has long been someone I longed for … which turned into a sweet obsession, which became creepy stalking and then resulted in the ugly period where we couldn’t visit our friend Anna Paquin on set. While I tried to make amends with Al, he never seemed to take my apologies seriously. (Can you blame him?)

However Annelie reminded me that our dear friend Cyndi once wrote a song for us about perseverance, so time after time I apologised and thankfully, I finally wore him down and he agreed to drop the charges and come over to make peace of our relationships.

He arrived two days ago, late in the afternoon. The sun was starting to set and there was a light breeze rustling through the trees as he pulled into my garage (literally, not figuratively). Skarsy embraced us both as he entered … the house and was quick to clear the air and let us know that the past was forgiven and our friendship was moving forward.

Then we got to clearing the air of the sexual tension. It was his idea, honestly.

After such a rigorous, celebratory catch-up there was only one thing to do and that was to sit down for a large piece of our Alexander Smarsbård Cake.

 

Alexander Smarsbard Cake_1

 

I will not lie, this cake is a fair bit of work and takes a while to make, however like Alex it is well worth the wait. Plus, it takes a while but is super easy.

The richness of the salted caramel mousse and ganache is cut by the delicate and light chocolate cake. Add the Mars Bar slice truffles/nuggets and naked Skarsgård on the top and you have a cake that you can’t help but have a second slice.

Thanks for dropping by Alexander, it was a pleasure. A real pleasure. Oh … and thank you readers for sticking with us. But mainly thank you Skarsy. For everything you did to us.

While being on the other side of fifty is general not looked at favourably in Hollywood, we know that things are only going to get better for us here at Fame Hungry … just look at Meryl Streep, Betty White and Helen Mirren as proof.

We really must give them a buzz soon!

 

Alexander Smarsbård Cake_2

 

Alexander Smarsbård Cake
Serves: 3…or 12.

Ingredients
Chocolate Cake (all at room temperature)
300 grams plain flour
300 grams caster sugar
1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
50g cocoa powder
50g dark chocolate, melted
265g soft unsalted butter
3 large eggs
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
225ml sour cream

Salted Caramel Mousse
200g raw caster sugar
85g unsalted butter at room temperature, diced
½ cup heavy cream at room temperature
2 tsp sea salt flakes
1 ½ tsp powdered gelatin
2 tbsp cold water
1½  cups cold heavy cream

Mars Bar Slice
3 cups rice bubbles
3 X 52g Mars Bars, chopped
75g butter
1 tsp golden syrup
200g milk chocolate

Ganache
250g dark cooking chocolate, chopped
1/3 cup cream

Method
Chocolate Cake
Preheat the oven to 180°C and line three 20cm sandwich tins.

Sift flour, baking powder, bicarb and cocoa into a bowl. Combine vanilla and sour cream in a different bowl.

Place butter and sugar in an electric mixer on medium speed and cream until light and fluffy.

With the mixer still on, crack in one of the eggs and add a third of the sour cream/vanilla combo. Turn off the mixer (mainly because I always make a mess if I don’t) and fold in a third of the flour/etc mixture (I remove the paddle attachment and quickly combine by hand and return it to the mixer. More time consuming, less messy). Return mixer to medium speed and combine.

Repeat the process again…and then again, until all combined. Oh, then add the melted dark chocolate and mix until the batter is combined (that shouldn’t be long).

Divide the batter into the prepared tins, smooth out the top and bake  for about 20-30 minutes, or until cake tester comes out clean.

Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack for about 10 minutes, turn cakes out of the tins and leave to cool on the wire rack.

Move onto the mousse.

Salted Caramel Mousse
Place sugar in a medium heavy saucepan. Heat over medium-high heat and whisk as it melts. Once all the sugar has melted, stop whisking and continue to cook. Insert a sugar thermometer into the pan if you have one and swirl the pan occasionally to stop it from burning.

Cook sugar until it turns amber in colour and the thermometer reads about 180°C. Careful not to overcook, as I did. Not once, not twice but thrice.

Add butter immediately to the pan, remove it from the heat and whisk it to combine.

Add the ½  cup of room temperature cream to the pan and whisk until combined. Set aside to cool, then add sea salt flakes to taste.

Mix gelatin and cold water in a small bowl and set aside to soften for about a minute, then whisk into the warm salted caramel mixture until gelatin is completely dissolved.

Place the cold cream in a large mixing bowl and whisk with an electric mixer on high until it reaches stiff peaks. Add salted caramel mixture to the bowl and gently fold in until combined. Place in fridge to chill.

Mars Bar Slice
Melt butter, two of the Mars Bars and golden syrup on low heat in a saucepan. Mix until smooth. Stir in the rice bubbles and the third Mars Bar (chopped).

Form 6-8 little balls/truffles/nuggets and place on a lined baking sheet and place in the fridge. Remove mousse from the fridge and fold through the remaining mixture. Return to fridge until you’re ready to assemble.

Ganache
Combine chocolate and cream in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Stir with a metal spoon until smooth. Remove bowl from heat.

Set aside and start assembling the cake

Assembly
The aesthetic is modelled on the cakes at Momofuku Milk Bar (if you are ever near one, go straight in and order a bagel bomb, a volcano, a cereal milk and any cake. Your life will then be complete), although our method is slightly more ghetto.

If you don’t have a 20cm cake ring, you can remove the base of a springform cake tin and then use a combination of cardboard, manilla folders and baking paper to boost the height. Like this, see, ghetto.

Remove the mousse from the fridge.

Choose your serving plate/tray (make sure it will fit in the fridge), then place one of the three cooled cakes on the base and place cake ring around.

Spoon a third of the mousse mixture on top and roughly smooth out. Don’t worry too much, it will flatten out itself.  Add second cake pressing firmly into the, add a second layer of mousse. Repeat the process with the third cake and remaining mousse. Smooth the mousse.

Pour ganache over the top of the cake and smooth. Place the cake (on serving plate) in the fridge to firm up, it should take a couple of hours.

Once cake is set, remove from the fridge, remove the ring and garnish with the pieces of mars bar slice however seems fit. I just broke them up and tried to make it look tolerable. I think I failed.