Sidecarol Kane

Drink, Hashbrown: The End

It is truly hard to pick a favourite character on Kimmy Schmidt. I mean, Titus is iconic, Jacqueline is Jacqueline, Kimmy is adorable and sweet but I will always have a special place in my heart from Lillian. Maybe because we both rent out apartments without floors or more likely because Carol Kane is an absolute damn delight!

Though to be completely honest, I do not and will not ever choose a favourite so DON’T bring it up again.

I first met Carol on the set of Annie Hall when I was part of Diane’s entourage and we bonded over the pain of trying to manage our naturally curly manes. I mean, everyone loves the concept of curly hair but it can be a total pain – particularly in heat or humidity – and that is something that only a curly can understand.

Somehow we’ve both managed to achieve great success despite the stress of our luscious, time consuming manes, so we don’t get to see as much of each other as we would like. No joke, we haven’t seen each other since 2006 and TBH it is probably the thing that keeps me up at night.

As a dear friend to both, I was on hand for the Madame Morrible changeover between Rue and her in Wicked, and we’ve been too busy to catch-up. Thankfully the end of Kimmy does offer us one positive, in that she had enough free time to jet down, reconnect, vow not to go so long between drinks and toast her success with a Sidecarol Kane. At it was amazing.

 

 

It should be extremely obvious by now that I will – and have – suck the alcohol out of deodorant if required, so it goes without saying that I find this delicious. But you will too – a little bit of tang and a whole lot of punch, it is the perfect way to honour a delightful show. And an even more delightful icon.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sidecarol Kane
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
2 shots brandy
1 shot orange liqueur
1 tbsp lemon juice
ice

Method
Pour the brandy, liqueur and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker and give a good ol’ shake.

Pour into an old fashioned glass filled with ice.

Down.

 

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Steak Diane Keaton

A decade of saying so, Main

Some would say that Because I Said So is a tragic fall from grace for my dear Academy Award winning friend Diane Keaton. To them I say – and you should probably know where this is going as we’ve hit day three of our decade of saying so celebrations – fuck you.

Saying Because I Said So is a terrible movie or a fall from grace is nothing more than an alternate fact and frankly, fake news. To be honest, it should have won a million, million and a half Oscars.

Anyway, Di jumped at the chance to drop by and hang out – she was chomping at the bit to be included in my last two Oscar Gold celebrations – to celebrate her underrated gem.

I first met Di in the early ‘70s while working on The Godfather – as you know, I’m very close with the Coppola-Cage-Schwartzman Dynasty. I mistakenly thought that  it was a documentary – let’s put it down to the chilling performance rather than casual racism –  and was drawn to Di as she appeared to be the least likely to kill me.

What ensued is a beautiful friendship that has lasted ever since, with only one hiccup – she broke the girl code and played Keanu’s love interest. Thankfully she is so delightful and kind that  she grovelled adequately enough to nip our feud in the bud at seven days, four hours and thirteen minutes.

Like me, Di is a big fan of Because I Said So and her work in it. As such, we spoke at length discussing why the media was so against the clear classic and how to bring about its renaissance a decade on.

So yeah, deep conversation with a lot of work, meaning we earnt every piece of our Steak Diane Keaton.

 

steak-diane-keaton-1

 

Despite what you may think, I’m not a huge meat eater. I mean sure, I love me some meat, but I never really got into the culinary equivalent until I had my wisdom teeth removed. After ten days of not eating anything but yoghurt, any chicken loving, white-man-diet enjoying would turn to a steak.

Particularly if is drowned in some delicious diane sauce – enjoy!

 

steak-diane-keaton-2

 

Steak Diane Keaton
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
4 shallots, trimmed and sliced
150g button mushrooms, sliced
1 tbsp salted butter
3 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
⅓ cup brandy
1 cup double cream
handful of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
4 sirloin steaks, excess fat removed, size depending on your appetite

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a medium skillet and cook the shallots for a minute before adding the mushrooms, butter and garlic and cook for a minute. Stir through the Worcestershire and mustard for a couple of minutes before adding the brandy. Turn up the heat, bring to the boil, then reduce the heat, stir through the cream and simmer for a couple of minutes, or until reduced. Remove from the heat and stir through the parsley.

Season the steaks on both sides and heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Sear the steaks on both sides for about three minutes, more or less depending on how you like steak. Just make sure to only flip it once. Remove from the pan to rest for a minute or two before serving, drowned in sauce with some *spoiler alert*.

 

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Christopher Porken Meatballs

Main

While it feels odd to celebrate anything relating to the Williams’ in this their time of scandal, seeing Chris and celebrating his ironic (thankfully he could confirm it) turn as Captain Hook in the extremely long-winded and completely horrible Peter Pan Live! was something we needed to do.

Yes the show was completely terrible, but we love Chris and are obviously highly supportive of his performance and his tap dancing.

We first met Chris on the set of Annie Hall where our friend Carol Kane got us a job as Diane Keaton’s vocal coach. Chris was just on the precipice of greatness with his turn in The Deer Hunter and made the time to mingle with all of his colleagues, even the entourage members / sham vocal coaches.

Thanks to the warmth and effervescent spark of Chris, we were platonically swept off our feet touring the Oscars red-carpets, hosting Hollywood soirees and sailing the SoCal coast and islands with our close friends.

As you would know, our group was struck down by tragedy when dear Natalie Wood passed away. Christopher was deeply upset and while Annelie and I tried to help him we turned to drugs while working through our own grief.

After a stint in rehab, we received a call from our friend Grace who asked for our help persuading Chris to appear in A View to a Kill. Working together on the film, we were able to work through our pain and restore our friendship, and have enjoyed a close, collaborative friendship ever since.

(Obviously the SEX book is our favourite collaboration).

Chris is still the warmest, mostly lively man we have ever met and his plot for a prequel to his Bond movie is just the sort of project we need to get back in Grace’s good, well, graces. Thankfully we threw together a quick batch of our Christopher Porken Meatballs and were able to really get the creative juices flowing.

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs_1

 

In my fat kid’s version of favourite things, meatballs are high on the list and these are the perfect example of why; spicy, fresh and versatile. You can literally chuck them with anything and you’re good to go.

Maybe don’t serve with cake? Although if it works, let us know.

Enjoy!

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs_2

 

Christopher Porken Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g pork mince
2 tsp salt
3 pickled hot cherry peppers, finely chopped
2 slices toasted white bread, blitzed to a ghetto breadcrumb
1 small onion, very finely diced
1 large egg
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp hot sauce
small handful flat leaf parsley, finely diced
good pinch of ground pepper

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and mix together. Form golf-ball sized meatballs, rolling between your hands until smooth and place onto a lined baking sheet.

Once all the balls are rolled, place tray in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until cooked through.

Serve however you want, with pasta and a herby tomato sauce, on mini rolls as sliders, with mash and mushroom sauce or as we’ve done, with parmesan sauce and a salad.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.