Natalie Portman Flip

Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball

I’d recovered from the emotions that seeing Quentin brought up about my beloved Luke’s passing, and then Lydia – who I’m trying super hard not to call Lydiot – had to get her petty revenge on Shane and make her the first boot.

So thankfully I had already locked in a date with my dear friend Natalie Portman for the second, grand day of this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, Gold Basketball.

I arrived on her doorstep with red, puffy eyes and tried to put on a happy face, like a less murdery version of Joaquin Phoenix in Joker.

Nat being Nat saw right through my valiant efforts to get my emotions together, pulled me in for a hug and reminded me that whatever was bothering me, it would all be ok.

She then followed it by putting on her Jackie O voice and told me there would never be another Camelot. Another Camelot. And all was right in my world.

I haven’t seen Nat since we filmed cameos in Avengers: Endgame, so it was to catch-up away from the warm, embracing pecs of Chris Hemsworth, who I really must catch soon. While she couldn’t confirm that Taika was willing to cast me – “you should talk to him, he loves you” – she was thrilled to run the Best Actor and Actress odds with me.

While Joaquin is the obvious frontrunner, Nat was hoping for an Adam Driver surprise for Marriage Story and I, passionately and vehemently will argue that Antonio Banderas’ stunning, reserved turn in Pain and Glory is what should take the gold. For Best Actress we had no such hopes for a surprise, fully aware that Renée Zellweger should and will win for her sublime turn in Judy. Getting justice for my dearest Judy Garland’s status as a non-winner.

With that out of the way, she gave me another big hug, bid me adieu and toasted our friendship with a round of Natalie Portman Flip.

 

 

I know I have probs complained about eggs in cocktails, but Nat loves them and I love her, so I suffer this baby down and focus on the fact it is safer to drink this than the alcohol out of my deodorant. I mean, brandy is nice. How is that for selling it?

Enjoy!

 

 

Natalie Portman Flip
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
30ml brandy
60ml ruby port
½ tsp simple syrup
1 egg
nutmeg, zested, to taste

Method
Place everything but the nutmeg in a cocktail shaker and shake with all the rage pent up from dealing with the Susans in your office for a minute or so.

Strain into an old fashioned glass. Grate over nutmeg. And down, immediately.

 

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Rachel Bilsonta Hats

12 Days of Chrismukkah, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

You can’t celebrate the 12 Days of Chrismukkah without my dear friend, the pocket-rocket portrayer of the gloriously rage-filled Summer Roberts … Rachel Bilson.

Deep breath – what a freaking (long/terrible) sentence, amirite?

I first met Rach – and spotted her talent – in early 2003 on the set of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was part of SMG’s entourage at the time but was taken in by Rachel’s spunk. As soon as I saw her perform, I knew that she was the only person that could play the role of Summer and do just to her season 1 catch-phrase “ew.”

While we had a brief falling out after I tried to set her trailer on fire after she began dating Adam Brody (I had fantasised about us becoming a twincesty couple), she understood my complete lack of logic/basis in reality and forgave me within a week.

The girl, it needs to be said, is a damn saint.

(Her sweet, forgiving nature is the only way I could forgive her for marrying Hayden Christensen, who broke my heart on the set of Life as a House when he wouldn’t play sweet dixie with my behind… but that is another story for another time. Plus I worked that line into Hart of Dixie, so how could I stay mad?).

I haven’t been able to see much of Rachel since Hart of Dixie was egregiously axed – which is actually about my life as a small town Alabama doctor falling for a myriad of similar looking men – given how busy she is with my dear god-daughter Briar Rose Christensen, so it was such a treat to be able to reconnect over some festively appropriate Rachel Bilsonta Hats!

 

rachel-bilsonta-hats-1

 

Sweet, delicious, kind-healthy (yay whole strawberry!) and completely kitsch, these little babies are the perfect festive bake for those dreaded office Christmas morning teas.

Or as a gift for people you actually like. Like the Bilson-Christensens – enjoy!

 

rachel-bilsonta-hats-2

 

Rachel Bilsonta Hats
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups plain flour
¼ cup valrhona cocoa
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
¾ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp ground ginger
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp cloves
¼ tsp allspice
1 cup buttermilk
200g unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs
1 tbsp white vinegar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp red food colouring
Icing
500g cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar
120g butter, at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla bean paste
strawberries, tops sliced off

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C and line muffin muffin pans with paper cases – quantity will depend on the size you want, but I can make 8 Texans.

Sift all the dry ingredients into a bowl and whisk the wet ingredients in a large jug until combined.

Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and stir through the wet ingredients until just combined. Then stir through the food colouring. You can use a stand mixer – like I do, because I’m lazy – but just remember that the best muffins are the ones that are barely mixed, so just do it on the lowest setting and only for as long as it needs.

Divide the mixture among your pans and bake for 20 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centres comes out clean. Remove from the oven, transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

While they are getting chill, combine the icing ingredients – sans strawbs – in a stand mixer and beat until smooth and fluffy.

To assemble, smear each cupcake generously with icing, top with an upturned strawberry and top said strawberry with a dollop of icing. Ta dah – bilsonta hats!

Devour.

 

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