Jay Zucchini Bake

Main, Snack

Gol-ly! You have no idea how much I have missed my boy Jay Z.

As you know, I’m a very close friend of the Knowles-Z clan having met both Jay and Bey in the 90s, suggesting they collaborated in the 00s and leading to the birth of the first family of music. You’re welcome.

Now – full disclosure – my relationship with Jay hasn’t always lead to positive things. Obviously.

We first met in the mid 90s when I tried to jack the car he was selling his CDs out of. While I regret trying to rob him – it was the 90s and I needed to by coke to stay thin while I worked on Models Inc. – the ensuing media coverage of our bitter trial grabbed the attention of Priority Records and lead to the release of his first album.

It was the guilt I felt about my failed robbery that lead to me stabbing Lance Rivera for him in ‘99. Obviously, I expect you to respect my privacy / not tell the authorities the truth. Thanks.

Anyway, after the wild years and a couple of stints in rehab, I introducing Jay and Bey and the rest, is history.

JayBey have been all over the news following the release of her latest opus, Lemonade but thankfully I was able to shy away from the negative publicity despite being Becky and threw that shrew Rachael Ray – she knows what she did – under the bus.

Given the tragic hate-crime that occurred in Orlando over the weekend, our catch-up was a little more somber than usual as it truly hit home to both of us, as we understand what it is like to be persecuted for simply being.

So with hope that America may finally release their balls from the vice-like grip of the NRA / Charlton Heston’s ghost and that everyone across the planet could just learn to be a little bit kinder and let people live, even simply, without fear of judgement or persecution, we sat down to a comforting meal of Jay Zucchini Bake.

 

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Like the human race, the bake is a mish mash of vibrant, unique veggies, sharp cheese, delicate eggs and salty bacon that when combined forms a perfectly fluffy dish that proves, once and for all I say, that joining together because of our differences is when magic truly happens.

Enjoy – I promise to not be so heavy next week.

 

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Jay Zucchini Bake
Serves: 4-6 for dinner, 8-10 for lunches or snacks.

Ingredients
6 rashers bacon, diced
1 cup corn kernels, fresh or frozen, it doesn’t matter
2 zucchinis, grated
1 large carrot, grated
1 onion, diced
½ red capsicum, diced
250g goat’s cheese
1 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
6 eggs
⅓ cup oil
⅓ cup freshly grated parmesan

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until it is just starting to get crispy. Add the corn and cook for a further couple of minutes before removing it from the heat. You can avoid frying the corn if you can’t be bothered, this is more important if you’re using frozen corn as you need to remove as much liquid as possible.

While the bacon and corn are resting, combine the zucchini, carrot, onion and capsicum in a large bowl. Crumble in the goat’s cheese and mix through the cooled bacon / corn mix, flour and baking powder.

At this point I should probably mentioned that the order of this recipe really doesn’t matter at all, but I am kind of anal and this is how I do it … always. Just because.

Anyway, aside over. Whisk the oil and eggs together in a measuring jug or something of the ilk, and add it to the bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper and stir to combine.

Pour the mix into a large baking dish, cover with the parmesan and bake for about 30 minutes, or until golden and set.

 

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He got 99 problems but this bitch ain’t one

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

When I was in the U.S. for memorial day, I was out in Brooklyn but then went down to Tribeca to see if my dear friends Bey and Jay were free to catch-up and help them work through their Becky related issues.

Full disclosure: the song is about me. Becky = Benny.

Sadly they were busy – I think Jay was scared I was wanting to put him in his place for discussing fight club way back when – so told them to drop by and visit me when they get a chance. Cut to last week when Hiz secured the nomination and Jay called to say he’d fly down to hang, knowing I was best placed to keep them on the Oval Office speed-dial during the next term.

Blue Ivy, my god-daughter, and Bey are busy selling Lemonade on their stoop to quench the thirst of New Yorkers, so Jay is flying solo. They are truly saintly. But of course, I’ve digressed.

What do I make when Jay catches me in the kitchen like Simmons’ whipping pastry?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Alicia Keys Lime Pie

Dessert

It is fitting that we caught-up with Alicia during week of the Grammys; fitting and awkward, as she iced us out of winning one with her in 2011 in favour of Blue Ivy’s dad. Thankfully she opened up with an apology, as we kindly opened up our home and hearts to her in the hopes of rekindling our friendship.

Despite the recent animosity (and ourselves), it felt like no time had passed and we were those young ingenues on the set of The Cosby Show once more. We caught each other on what has been happening since we last spoke; she had two kids, we have once again taken the world by storm and have been thrust into the limelight.

We laughed about Kanye’s idiocy at The Grammys and apparent love for Beyonce (move on Kanye, she already has a husband that ruined our lives) and discussed Bill Cosby’s recent controversy before serving Alicia with a slice of humble Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie.

 

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The tart kick of lime acted as a symbol for our pain over the, well you know what, and the period in her life when she didn’t have us (baby), while the sweet, delicate meringue was an offering of hope that our friendship could continue as sweetly as it used to.

Enjoy!

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_2

 

Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie
Serves: 8

Ingredients
375g can sweetened condensed milk
4 large egg yolks
½ cup plus 2 tablespoons key lime juice

Crust
1 ½ cups digestives, crushed
2 tbsp caster sugar
5 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Meringue
4 egg whites
1 pinch cream of tartar
2 tbsp caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C.

Stir together digestive crumbs, sugar, and butter in a bowl with a fork until combined well, then press mixture evenly onto bottom and up side of a 9-inch glass pie plate (quiche dish will do in a pinch). Bake crust in middle of oven 10 minutes and cool in pie plate on a rack.

Increase heat of oven to 180°C.

Whisk together condensed milk and yolks in a bowl until combined well. Add juice and whisk until combined well (mixture will thicken slightly).

Place egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and then gradually add sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Use to top lime filling.

Pour filling into pie crust and top with meringue. Make sure meringue completely covers filling and that it goes right up to the edge of the crust. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until meringue is golden. Cool pie completely on rack (filling will set as it cools), then chill covered overnight.

Serve by fallin’ face first into the pie and devouring.