Travelled down the road and back in time

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

It is a well-known fact that Annelie and I invented time-travel.

We won’t bore you with the details other than the fact it happens in thirteen years from now, anything beyond that would be too much for your poor, non-Scientific minds. Comparatively of course, as we are the two brightest (in your face Hawking).

Anyway, we have tried to keep all of our catch-ups in the present but sometimes you just want to spend time with some of your dearly-departed friends – particularly when their Hollywood home is on the market and we think it would be worthwhile going back to have their will changed.

Calm down, I can almost hear the universal disdain from here but dear Bea Arthur was one of our closest friends and she will appreciate the fact that we want to convert her home into a museum slash theme park, second to only Dollywood.

What says hey, we are from the future and would love for you to change your will so that we can convert your home into a monetised shrine to you?

It has to be something more enticing than a lifetime ban for her frenemy, Betty White…

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: NBC/LogoTV.com.

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)

Side

Lets just get it out of the way straight up – Nicole Kidman is still one of our nemeses (and just the worst) and Grace of Monaco is truly horrific. The Weinstein movie that became a Lifetime movie, not the woman; she was a champ (and a close friend).

Despite our catch up with Simon Baker-he-will-always-be-Denny-to-us being based on a horror, our time with him was anything but.

We first met Simon on the set of the greatest Australian drama of all time, E Street, where we were working as Toni Pearen’s mirror. Yes, her mirror – she paid us to describe how she looked and by that, to tell her that she looked ok.

Obviously seeing we were in a horrid situation, Simon took us under his wings (sadly and shockingly, not under the covers though) and hired us as his bodyguards slash entourage (the show is actually based on us, not Marky Blah-k) before our fortunes changed after meeting Zsa Zsa in priz. Once he joined us in L.A. we were able to payback his kindness and got him his first film role in L.A. Confidential (I was having a torrid affair with Spacey at the time).

Not long after he married his wife Bec and became stuck tolerating Ms. Kidman with us. As such, we like to catch-up every couple of months to trash talk and reminisce about the good old (pre-Kidman) days.

As I said, Grace of Monaco is one of her worst but thankfully our Simon Potato Baker (Denny) is one of our best.

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)_1

 

Rich, creamy, cheesey with a kick of garlic and (a crap-load of) bacon. Need I say more? Serve with a steak or whatever piece of meat you like or as we prefer, in the dish with a large spoon each.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)_2

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)
Serves: 4 (dependent on the size of the dish used).

Ingredients (All quantities depend on the size of the dish)
4-6 (ish) large potatoes
6 rashers shortcut bacon, dependent on how much you love bacon
1-2 tablespoons crushed garlic
1 cup of grated cheddar
300ml cream
salt and pepper, to season

Method
Pre-heat oven to 160 C.

Peel and wash all potatoes and slice into just under ½cm slices. Cut bacon into a small dice.

Place a layer of potatoes over the base of your dish. Sprinkle with some diced bacon, crushed garlic and grated cheese, to taste.

Repeat until all the ingredients have been used up slash you have almost filled the dish, finishing with a layer of potatoes.

Once done, pour cream over the the potatoes until it is ½ to ¾ of the way up the dish. Season and top with a generous layer of cheese.

Bake in the oven for 30 minutes to 1 hour, or until potato is tender and the bake is browned on the top.

He’s A Sexy Babymaker

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I’ve said it once and I will likely say it a thousand times, mutual hatred is the ultimate relationship builder! None more so than when you are united by the hate of one Ms. Nicky Kidman (you know what you did Nicole).

While we made some poor choices and befriended her on the set of BMX Bandits, poor Simon Baker Denny married into a friendship with her and has had to tolerate her ways ever since.

Simon is dropping by to hate-watch Grace of Monaco with us and requested a small snack, that is warming and delicious. Super specific but we love him (even despite this look), what should we make?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: Unknown.

Holiday

Uncategorized

After an exhausting couple of weeks campaigning for the cast of Survivor: Second Chance (and to get Skarsy into our beds), we have decided to take two weeks off to recharge the batteries.

We will relax and meditate in Cambodia prior to fulfilling our commitments for Survivor (and hopefully make our marital commitments to Jeff Probst official), before jumping back into the bigger and better things that are planned for our future.

Hopefully the time meditating will enlighten us on ways to survive the arduous campaigning Hillary has requested we help with next year! Actually, the office of POTUS is probably not as prestigious as Sole Survivor – we’ll be fine.

See you in two weeks! We’ll be busy taking Leo’s classic advice from our film Titanic (I was Kate Winslet’s body double and Annelie was Billy Zane’s stunt performer).

Picture Source: Unknown.

Alexander Smarsbård Cake

Dessert

I can not believe that it has finally happened – turns out dreams really do come true! For you, our dear readers, that dream was (we assume), to enjoy our Hollywood tales and witness us reach our fiftieth recipe and for us that dream was for each of us to be ravaged by Skarsy.

While neither of us kiss and tell, we definitely enjoyed our times with Alex (and I am definitely calling him again behind Annelie’s back, I didn’t like having to time share him between our houses).

Alex has long been someone I longed for … which turned into a sweet obsession, which became creepy stalking and then resulted in the ugly period where we couldn’t visit our friend Anna Paquin on set. While I tried to make amends with Al, he never seemed to take my apologies seriously. (Can you blame him?)

However Annelie reminded me that our dear friend Cyndi once wrote a song for us about perseverance, so time after time I apologised and thankfully, I finally wore him down and he agreed to drop the charges and come over to make peace of our relationships.

He arrived two days ago, late in the afternoon. The sun was starting to set and there was a light breeze rustling through the trees as he pulled into my garage (literally, not figuratively). Skarsy embraced us both as he entered … the house and was quick to clear the air and let us know that the past was forgiven and our friendship was moving forward.

Then we got to clearing the air of the sexual tension. It was his idea, honestly.

After such a rigorous, celebratory catch-up there was only one thing to do and that was to sit down for a large piece of our Alexander Smarsbård Cake.

 

Alexander Smarsbard Cake_1

 

I will not lie, this cake is a fair bit of work and takes a while to make, however like Alex it is well worth the wait. Plus, it takes a while but is super easy.

The richness of the salted caramel mousse and ganache is cut by the delicate and light chocolate cake. Add the Mars Bar slice truffles/nuggets and naked Skarsgård on the top and you have a cake that you can’t help but have a second slice.

Thanks for dropping by Alexander, it was a pleasure. A real pleasure. Oh … and thank you readers for sticking with us. But mainly thank you Skarsy. For everything you did to us.

While being on the other side of fifty is general not looked at favourably in Hollywood, we know that things are only going to get better for us here at Fame Hungry … just look at Meryl Streep, Betty White and Helen Mirren as proof.

We really must give them a buzz soon!

 

Alexander Smarsbård Cake_2

 

Alexander Smarsbård Cake
Serves: 3…or 12.

Ingredients
Chocolate Cake (all at room temperature)
300 grams plain flour
300 grams caster sugar
1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
50g cocoa powder
50g dark chocolate, melted
265g soft unsalted butter
3 large eggs
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
225ml sour cream

Salted Caramel Mousse
200g raw caster sugar
85g unsalted butter at room temperature, diced
½ cup heavy cream at room temperature
2 tsp sea salt flakes
1 ½ tsp powdered gelatin
2 tbsp cold water
1½  cups cold heavy cream

Mars Bar Slice
3 cups rice bubbles
3 X 52g Mars Bars, chopped
75g butter
1 tsp golden syrup
200g milk chocolate

Ganache
250g dark cooking chocolate, chopped
1/3 cup cream

Method
Chocolate Cake
Preheat the oven to 180°C and line three 20cm sandwich tins.

Sift flour, baking powder, bicarb and cocoa into a bowl. Combine vanilla and sour cream in a different bowl.

Place butter and sugar in an electric mixer on medium speed and cream until light and fluffy.

With the mixer still on, crack in one of the eggs and add a third of the sour cream/vanilla combo. Turn off the mixer (mainly because I always make a mess if I don’t) and fold in a third of the flour/etc mixture (I remove the paddle attachment and quickly combine by hand and return it to the mixer. More time consuming, less messy). Return mixer to medium speed and combine.

Repeat the process again…and then again, until all combined. Oh, then add the melted dark chocolate and mix until the batter is combined (that shouldn’t be long).

Divide the batter into the prepared tins, smooth out the top and bake  for about 20-30 minutes, or until cake tester comes out clean.

Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack for about 10 minutes, turn cakes out of the tins and leave to cool on the wire rack.

Move onto the mousse.

Salted Caramel Mousse
Place sugar in a medium heavy saucepan. Heat over medium-high heat and whisk as it melts. Once all the sugar has melted, stop whisking and continue to cook. Insert a sugar thermometer into the pan if you have one and swirl the pan occasionally to stop it from burning.

Cook sugar until it turns amber in colour and the thermometer reads about 180°C. Careful not to overcook, as I did. Not once, not twice but thrice.

Add butter immediately to the pan, remove it from the heat and whisk it to combine.

Add the ½  cup of room temperature cream to the pan and whisk until combined. Set aside to cool, then add sea salt flakes to taste.

Mix gelatin and cold water in a small bowl and set aside to soften for about a minute, then whisk into the warm salted caramel mixture until gelatin is completely dissolved.

Place the cold cream in a large mixing bowl and whisk with an electric mixer on high until it reaches stiff peaks. Add salted caramel mixture to the bowl and gently fold in until combined. Place in fridge to chill.

Mars Bar Slice
Melt butter, two of the Mars Bars and golden syrup on low heat in a saucepan. Mix until smooth. Stir in the rice bubbles and the third Mars Bar (chopped).

Form 6-8 little balls/truffles/nuggets and place on a lined baking sheet and place in the fridge. Remove mousse from the fridge and fold through the remaining mixture. Return to fridge until you’re ready to assemble.

Ganache
Combine chocolate and cream in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Stir with a metal spoon until smooth. Remove bowl from heat.

Set aside and start assembling the cake

Assembly
The aesthetic is modelled on the cakes at Momofuku Milk Bar (if you are ever near one, go straight in and order a bagel bomb, a volcano, a cereal milk and any cake. Your life will then be complete), although our method is slightly more ghetto.

If you don’t have a 20cm cake ring, you can remove the base of a springform cake tin and then use a combination of cardboard, manilla folders and baking paper to boost the height. Like this, see, ghetto.

Remove the mousse from the fridge.

Choose your serving plate/tray (make sure it will fit in the fridge), then place one of the three cooled cakes on the base and place cake ring around.

Spoon a third of the mousse mixture on top and roughly smooth out. Don’t worry too much, it will flatten out itself.  Add second cake pressing firmly into the, add a second layer of mousse. Repeat the process with the third cake and remaining mousse. Smooth the mousse.

Pour ganache over the top of the cake and smooth. Place the cake (on serving plate) in the fridge to firm up, it should take a couple of hours.

Once cake is set, remove from the fridge, remove the ring and garnish with the pieces of mars bar slice however seems fit. I just broke them up and tried to make it look tolerable. I think I failed.

Thank you for being a friend

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Firstly, we would like to start by thanking the Academy. For our future awards and affording us the opportunity to host in 2023 where we are described in Variety as “worse than Hathaway and Franco by a country mile.”

We also want to thank all the people in our lives, except for those that we despise (particular mention to Elijah Wood and Sean Astin, you still know what you did that summer).

Thank you to forty-nine of our dear celebrity friends, your desire to stay relevant and reignite your fame by dropping by for a documented meal has been humbling, arousing (mentally and physically, of course), irritating, enlightening and joyous.

To Alexander Skarsgård, for agreeing to drop the restraining order you had against me and coming over to celebrate the upcoming milestone fiftieth recipe with Annelie and I is a dream come true. In my case, obviously, that is a wet dream you stone fox.

Trying to come up with a recipe worthy of such a momentous occasion, that would also be an aphrodisiac, has been difficult and hard (particularly when I think of you Al), but I think we are almost there. Now I just need to find my most erotic outfit. What to wear, what to wear?

Picture source: HBO.

Not so sloppy second chances

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Ben and I have some stellar news – we are packing our glitziest sampots and jetting off to the set of Survivor: Second Chance!

Probst has campaigned for years to change the eligibility rules to allow us to compete in Survivor. While he hasn’t been successful (yet), this year he has finally managed to throw us a bone (albeit not the one we had hoped for) by inviting us to prepare consolation meals for the bootees of season 31.

Getting in the spirit of this year’s publicly voted cast, we thought it best to share our brilliant recipe ideas so that you can swing a vote behind your favourite on the CBS site. We guess you can also vote for your favourite castaways?

Picture source: CBS.

Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles

Main

While we’ve had a lot of ups-and-downs in our relationship with 90% of HollywoodMia, she has always treated us with such warmth and empathy. That includes the time we viciously sold stories of her to the tabloids about how she was only adopting her children to complete a real-life recreation of the Von Trapps (to make up for her missing out on Leisel).

Oh, and the story about her having affairs with both Tom and Seth Green. How she forgave that, I’ll never know?

Despite our tumultuous past, Mia always likes to drop-by when she is the country (her father was Australian) and see how we are going … and make sure we haven’t spiralled out of control.

Mia made a special trip on her way back from some humanitarian, charity-ish, kinda thing (she is constantly doing that shit, it is hard to keep up/pay attention), to congratulate us on our soon to be celebrated/posted 50th recipe!

(I assume she wanted to force her way onto the site as the 49th recipe but after all the drama we have caused in the past, it is the least we can do).

Despite her motives, it was such a delight catching up with Mia, reminiscing over our mutual love for Bruce Dern, Edward Herrmann and Frank Sinatra (he fathered one of my children and two of Annelie’s) and obviously, our hatred for the detestable (slash our old friend) Patsy Kensit over a spicy bowl of Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles.

 

Peanut and Sesamia Farrow Noodles_1

 

Like Mia, the noodles are soft, spicy and a little bit cray in a really good way.

More importantly, now that we’ve been reminded, how can we best honour our (future Pulitzer-winning work) 50th recipe? More importantly, who would we want to celebrate onwith?

 

Peanut and Sesamia Farrow Noodles_2

 

Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sesame oil, plus extra for frying
1 tbsp garlic infused olive oil
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
2 tbsp hot sauce
100g crunchy peanut butter
2 tbsp lime juice
150g snow peas, rinsed and chopped in half
150g beansprouts, rinsed
1 red capsicum, deseeded and cut into thin strips
4 shallots, finely sliced
200g mushrooms, finely sliced
550g egg noodles
20g sesame seeds , plus extra to garnish
finely chopped fresh coriander, to garnish

Method
Whisk together the oils, sauces, peanut butter and lime juice in a jug, place aside.

Place egg noodles in a bowl of freshly boiled water and leave for five minutes. Drain and place aside.

Heat extra sesame oil in a large fry-pan/wok until hot and quickly stir-fry vegetables until vibrant yet crisp (a couple of minutes at the absolute max). Remove from heat, stir through liquid, sesame seeds and noodles.

Return to heat for a minute, if required. If not, serve and garnish with extra sesame seeds and coriander.

Rosemary’s Food-Baby

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

What a surprise we got over the weekend! Mia Farrow gave us a call to congratulate us on our savvy business acumen in utilising our connections to reclaim fame and obviously, wanted in on the action/to help us celebrate our achievements.

We first met Mia while auditioning for The Sound of Music (she Leisel, Annelie Gretl and me Marta) and remained close throughout the years (even after I seduced Frank Sinatra) until we lost contact during the mid-nineties after playing an advisory role on the film Love and Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story (needless to say, she wasn’t thrilled).

Years past and we reconnected with Mia while acting as Alumni-Mentors to her son Ronan during his time at Yale and explained why we involved ourselves with the terrible bio-pic, and worse, Patsy Kensit (we had drugs to buy and then rehab bills to pay, obviously) and have endeavoured to stay on her good side ever since.

What says thanks for wanting to congratulate us on almost achieving (and just noticing) our upcoming milestone?

Picture source: Robin Marchant/Getty Images.

Cobert Downey Jr.

Party Food, Snack

While they are always a horrible choice, some people pull off coloured-lensed glasses, like RDJ, and some people don’t (we’re looking at you Bono). We tried to convince Bobs (we also call RDJ, Bobs) of this fact during our shared 90s rehab stint, but his look sold it to us.

Over the years we have acted as Bobs’ closest confidantes and despite some disagreements (we advised that he never work with Katie Holmes…on the advice of our friend, her daughter Suri), the friendship has been emotionally and professionally fulfilling.

Yes, we wanted him to fulfil us sexually…but that just seems to be how it goes with our friends, so it has never been an issue.

Bobs dropped over between the Australian and US release of Avengers 2: Age of Hard-On (it was definitely title and if not, I had one for Cap anyway), to discuss his work and provide him with crucial advice for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I reiterate, he really values our opinion.

For one of the highest earning actors, RDJ is so humble, kind and was terrified we would give him a bad review (the movie was magnificent, FYI) and cast him aside (it would never happen).

To celebrate his cinematic triumph and the fact we finally convinced him to push Marvel to sign us as we-can’t-tell-yet superheroes (it is in Phase 4), we whipped up a quick Cobert Downey Jr and discussed our enduringly loving friendship.

 

Cobert Downey Jr_1

 

You could never say a negative word about cob dip, nor you could put anything wrong inside a cob (well you can, but that is another arrest for another time). While I opted for the (comparatively) lighter spinach and vegie dip, nothing quite says Bunheads marathon like a cheesy bacon option.

Enjoy!

 

Cobert Downey Jr_2

 

Cobert Downey Jr
Serves: 4-8 if you’re social, 2 if you’re watching Netflix and 1 if you’re watching Netflix and emotional.

Ingredients
1 packet frozen chopped spinach, drained
300ml tub sour cream
250g cream cheese
1 packet spring vegetable soup
2 cob loaves

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180°C.

Cut one of the cobs up into 1 inch dice and lay out flat on a large baking sheet. Cut the top off the second cob loaf, dicing it into large chunks and hollow out cob, ripping it into large-ish chunks. Lay both sets of the aforementioned chunks and the empty cob on a second baking sheet.

Put both baking sheets into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden.

Meanwhile, mash cream cheese in a large bowl, and mix through sour cream, soup mix and spinach.

When cob is out of the oven, decant the dip into the hollowed cob and place on a serving dish. Whack the chunks of bread in a bowl, on a plate…where ever really. Then devour.