Actress

Panna Cotta Paquin

Dessert, Oscar Gold

Despite being trans-Tasman neighbours, it took us a while to meet and befriend Academy Award winner Anna Paquin.

Unlike most of our celebrity friends we connected with her as fans first, while we were visiting our friend/black-market plastic surgery patient Lil Kim on the set of She’s All That. During an altercation after Lil K found out we weren’t licensed plastic surgeons or you know, doctors, Anna swooped in like a mother-goose and hid us in her trailer.

To show our appreciation, we became her personal cooks during the course of filming and our relationship developed to the deep state of love we currently share and has seen us visit and bake her treats on all of her future sets.

Well except for True Blood after I was thrown out for repeatedly draping myself naked in Alexander Skarsgård’s trailer, car, house, bedroom, etc.

She was sweet about it though and to apologise for the awkwardness I made her a batch of Panna Cotta Paquins, which I whipped up yesterday while we discussed the minimal Aus-Zealand nominees this year and our shared hope that Boyhood prevails for Best Picture.

 

Panna Cotta Paquin_1

 

The recipe is an adaptation of a Nigella classic (from Nigellissima) and is smooth, delicate and beautiful. Like Skarsgård…oh, Skarsy! Maybe Anna will be able to get through to him for me?

Enjoy, while I enjoy this.

 

Panna Cotta Paquin_2

 

Panna Cotta Paquin
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
75ml milk
425ml double cream
50g raw caster sugar
1 vanilla pod
3g gelatine

Method
Combine milk, cream and sugar in a saucepan, stirring to ensure the sugar dissolves.

Slice the vanilla pod lengthways and scrape seeds out with a spoon or (carefully) with the tip of a knife. Stir seeds into the milk mixture and then add the emptied pod.

Heat the saucepan over low heat until it is just about the come to the boil (bubbles will form around the edge). Remove move heat, remove vanilla pod and empty half of the mixture into a heatproof jug or bowl.

Vigorously whisk in the gelatine (you could whisk less vigorously if you dissolve the gelatine in water but I can never be bothered and it never turns out poorly). Pour the liquid in the jug back into the saucepan, whisking as you go until it is all combined.

Pour the mixture evenly between 4 dariole moulds or ramekins and refrigerate until set.

Four hours seems to be enough for me, but Nigella suggests overnight and I would never argue with her!

Serve with fruit, berries, caramel or by itself, it doesn’t matter.

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers

Oscar Gold

It is a fact universally known that the greatest friends you can make, are those that you connect with during the darkest periods of your life and our dear, dear friend and Academy Award winner Geena Davis came to us in a time of deep personal turmoil.

We connected with Geens when she was studying for her role in Thelma and Louise. It is a little known fact that the final car chase is based on actual events.

Annelie and I had committed a crime that we don’t like to talk about (it was the basis for the plot of Ocean’s Eleven and we don’t talk about it because we hate Clooney); we were caught, were tailed by the police and drove into the Grand Canyon.

Geena was so understanding of our issues when she was trying to get into character that we have continued our friendship and even had her support when we were thrown off the set of Stuart Little during one of our foiled revenge plots against Jonathan Lipnicki.

Geens wanted to catch-up before the Oscars to talk about the rise of Patty Arquette and comeback of our mutual friend Keats (I was DeVito’s stunt/body double on Batman Returns) and we felt something warm and loving, like our ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers, was appropriate.

 

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers_1

 

The gooey cheese is offset by the rich passata with a strong punch of the basil that makes the meatballs a perfect comfort food/first post-awards-season-dieting meal.

Well, if you don’t go to In’n’Out, obviously. Which you should.

Enjoy!

 

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers_2

 

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
¾ cup breadcrumbs
1 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese
3 garlic cloves, pressed
small onion, grated
2 Tbsp + 1 cup passata
½ Tbsp dried oregano seasoning
2 Tbsp fresh basil, chopped
2 Tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
½ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp fresh cracked black pepper
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 cup shredded mozzarella

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Set aside 1 cup passata and the shredded mozzarella

In a large mixing bowl, combine all remaining ingredients. Mix well, do not over mix or you will have tough meatballs. Portion out meat mixture to desired size (about a tablespoon is good) and place on baking sheet. After all meatballs have been portioned roll into balls with wet hands.

Bake for 15-20 minutes until lightly browned.

Turn over meatballs and drizzle passata over each meatball and top with cheese.

Bake a further 2-3 minutes, or until cheese is golden brown and bubbly.

Gorge.

Heloumi Hunt Skewers

Oscar Gold

You always need a calming force following a catch-up with Cagey and there is no Academy Award Winner more calming than our dear friend, Helen Hunt.

We have known Helen since our time together working as Jami Gertz’s co-Assistants on the set of Twister, where Hells was the only person able to calm us down during our infighting to be Jami’s personal favourite and confidante.

It was a highly tumultuous period of our lives and the thought of sharing that honour was too much to handle and she was the only one brave enough to come between Annelie and I when we were throwing empty bottles at each other and ruining the other’s weaves.

Helen stuck with us during the years of court-ordered anger management, rehab and prison (following the Halle incident) and has become like a third Hollywood mother to us (she got us a role as Wilson’s assistant on Cast Away to get our feet back in the door, bless her).

To show our appreciation we made some Heloumi Hunt Skewers to enjoy while we discussed Julianne finally winning Best Actress. We don’t even have to pretend that won’t happen, right?

 

Heloumi Hunt Skewers_1

 

The combination of charred vegetables and haloumi are amongst my favourite and with a splash of lemon the party moved from our hearts, to our mouths.

Enjoy!

 

Heloumi Hunt Skewers_2

 

Heloumi Hunt Skewers
Serves: Hunger and ingredient dependent.

Ingredients
haloumi
zucchini
capsicum
cherry tomatoes
red onion
lemon wedges, to serve

Method
Cut all ingredients (except cherry tomatoes) into a roughly one centimetre dice…or you know, cherry tomato size.

Load skewers with ingredients piece by piece, alternating however you find aesthetically pleasing. I tend to start and finish with capsicum or haloumi as they act as an anchor to keep the skewers together.

Once all of the skewers are done, heat a large griddle or frying pan. Fry for a couple of minutes each side, season to taste and serve with lemon wedges.

Note: If you are using wooden/bamboo skewers, soak them in water for a couple of hours so that they don’t burn.

Lupita Nymang’o Salad

Oscar Gold

While some of our closest friends have won Oscars, we thought it would be best to invite some of our newer friends to Oscar Gold as a kind gesture of support to solidify friendships.

Not as a desperate attempt to capitalise on Lupita’s It Girl status (thank you Benedick Cumberbitch)!

We first connected with Lupita while attending Yale, where Annelie’s dog Nigella studied Law with future President Hillary Rodham Clinton and we attended the journalism program/worked the Yale Daily News with our gal pals, Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller.

We befriended Lupita when she assisted us in breaking up a fight between Rory and Paris in Shake Shack and were front runners to attend the Oscars with her, before her jealous brother threw a tantrum and got us banned from the Awards.

As we missed out on being in the big selfie, we will never forgive him.

Lupita dropped by quickly to celebrate last year’s win before having to jet back to LA to present JK Sim…sorry, the Best Supporting Actor Award. As it is still quite hot here, we opted for the Lupita Nymang’o Salad we whipped up during our visit to catch-up on the 12 Years a Slave set.

Lupita Nymang'o Salsa_1

The sweetness of the mango countered the sharp acidity of the vinegar and lime and leaves you feeling more satisfied than we will on Sunday when Cumberbitch loses.

He knows what he did. Enjoy!

Lupita Nymang'o Salsa_2

 

Lupita Nymang’o Salad
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 ripe mango, cubed
1 avocado, halved, stone removed, peeled, diced
1 red capsicum, halved, deseeded, finely diced
½ red onion, finely diced
1 lebanese cucumber, diced
½ cup roughly chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoon fresh lime juice
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
Salt & freshly ground black pepper

Method
Combine juice, oil and vinegar in a small jug.

Combine everything else in a medium bowl.

Add dressing and season to taste.

This recipe is crazy basic.

I think you probably got that though, right?

Alicia Keys Lime Pie

Dessert

It is fitting that we caught-up with Alicia during week of the Grammys; fitting and awkward, as she iced us out of winning one with her in 2011 in favour of Blue Ivy’s dad. Thankfully she opened up with an apology, as we kindly opened up our home and hearts to her in the hopes of rekindling our friendship.

Despite the recent animosity (and ourselves), it felt like no time had passed and we were those young ingenues on the set of The Cosby Show once more. We caught each other on what has been happening since we last spoke; she had two kids, we have once again taken the world by storm and have been thrust into the limelight.

We laughed about Kanye’s idiocy at The Grammys and apparent love for Beyonce (move on Kanye, she already has a husband that ruined our lives) and discussed Bill Cosby’s recent controversy before serving Alicia with a slice of humble Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie.

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_1

 

The tart kick of lime acted as a symbol for our pain over the, well you know what, and the period in her life when she didn’t have us (baby), while the sweet, delicate meringue was an offering of hope that our friendship could continue as sweetly as it used to.

Enjoy!

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_2

 

Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie
Serves: 8

Ingredients
375g can sweetened condensed milk
4 large egg yolks
½ cup plus 2 tablespoons key lime juice

Crust
1 ½ cups digestives, crushed
2 tbsp caster sugar
5 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Meringue
4 egg whites
1 pinch cream of tartar
2 tbsp caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C.

Stir together digestive crumbs, sugar, and butter in a bowl with a fork until combined well, then press mixture evenly onto bottom and up side of a 9-inch glass pie plate (quiche dish will do in a pinch). Bake crust in middle of oven 10 minutes and cool in pie plate on a rack.

Increase heat of oven to 180°C.

Whisk together condensed milk and yolks in a bowl until combined well. Add juice and whisk until combined well (mixture will thicken slightly).

Place egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and then gradually add sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Use to top lime filling.

Pour filling into pie crust and top with meringue. Make sure meringue completely covers filling and that it goes right up to the edge of the crust. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until meringue is golden. Cool pie completely on rack (filling will set as it cools), then chill covered overnight.

Serve by fallin’ face first into the pie and devouring.

Putting out the fire

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We used to be very close friends with Alicia Keys, having guest starred as Rudy’s friends in The Cosby Show episode “Slumber Party”.

And no, not that type of slumber party. There were no pills.

I played the groundbreaking role of Rudy’s transgender friend, while Annelie her sassy side-kick and Alicia the brains of the outfit. We forged a bond instantly on set and assumed that we would collaborate forever.

Cut to 25 years later and she dumped us in favour of Jay-Z on Empire State of Mind and we thought we would never forgive her for attempting to ruin our chance at EGOT glory.

Time heals old wounds though and we have decided to take a chance on trusting again and allowing her to be our Girlfriend.

I mean, we will probably win a Grammy soon anyway.

Picture source: Unknown.

Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowl

Main

I am thankful that Candace decided to be the bigger person and get in touch to end our eleven year feud. While we have many differing viewpoints now (and neither side will take blame for the ruining the Kids Choice Award venue), our Friday dates were our personal highlight of the 90s (before we got in with the BH Crew).

It started out pretty awkward, with us politely chatting about what we have been up to in the last decade; her recent stint on Dancing with the Stars, our return to the A-list simply through documenting our celebrity catch-ups. Thankfully by the end, we were friends again and are (spoiler alert) looking forward to working together on the Full House reboot.

In the effort of bringing us back together via food (which thankfully was a success), we thought something warm, spicy and casual (capturing the essence of our old catch-ups), was best. This obviously meant three big old serves of our famous Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowl.

 

Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowl_1

 

The original recipe we based this on was light on the spice and as our motto is “make food so hot it burns its way out and liquefies your organs” we upped the spice levels, so adjust according to your own tastes.

Then enjoy, obviously.

 

Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowl_2

 

Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowl
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
3 tbsp of olive oil
1 small onion, diced
1 cup of uncooked long grain rice
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
½ green capsicum, diced
1 tsp of cumin
½ tsp of chilli powder
¼ tsp smoked paprika
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
pinch ground cinnamon
½ tsp of garlic powder
2 ½ cups salt-reduced chicken stock
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
salt and pepper
freshly diced tomatoes
diced spring onions
sour cream
guacamole

Method
Sauté onions in 2 tablespoon of olive oil until they start to soften.

Add chicken to pan and cook over medium high heat until chicken has started to brown. Season with salt and pepper.

Move chicken to one side of pan, in the other side of the pan add an additional tablespoon of olive oil and sauté uncooked rice for about 2 minutes or just until some grains start to turn golden brown.

Stir in black beans, canned tomatoes, chicken stock, spices and capsicum and bring to a simmer.

Cover, reduce heat to low and cook about 20 minutes or until rice is tender.

Season with additional salt and pepper as needed.

Sprinkle with cheese, recover and let set for 2-3 minutes off heat to melt cheese. Serve with fresh tomatoes, green onions, sour cream and guacamole.

Whatever happened to predictability?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Every Friday night during the 90s, our friend-date / Full House episode parties with Candace Cameron-Bure were so legendary that they were considering an edit to the start of the theme song.

We first met Candace Cameron-Bure while Annelie was working as a stand-in / body-double to the Olsen Twins on Full House and I was down the road acting as Mara Wilson’s PA (still the greatest job I have ever had) on the set of Mrs. Doubtfire.

Sadly we have been in a feud after an incident involving Melissa Joan Hart and Anna Chlumsky at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards in 1994 where, obviously, the police were called, buildings destroyed, charges pressed and our friendship destroyed.

After twenty-one years, Cameron-Bure reached out hoping to make amends and we felt it was time to, as Adele Dazeem said, let it go.

I hope my love of show tunes and peen doesn’t offend her like it does Kirk? This could be interesting.

Picture source: Fanpop.com

Sugar Kiper Cookies

12 Days of Survivor Christmas

Our first festive friend to visit was Survivor: Gabon and Heroes vs. Villains alum, Sugar Kiper.

We first connected with Sugar during her time playing Rory’s foil/Jess’s girlfriend on one of the greatest show of all time, Gilmore Girls.

Annelie and I were working as gophers on the set, whilst trying to break into the writing staff with our glorious missing triplets storyline (Lorelai had actually given birth to triplets and gave two up for adoption, who would have been played to perfection by Annelie and I, and forgot we existed following a bout of medically inaccurate postpartum amnesia).

While Ames and Loz both passed on the idea (apparently it was too soapy and our auditions too hammy), Sugar was a big fan and we became fast friends and have stuck together during her stints on Survivor, our stints in jail and our joint stint appearing on season five of Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew.

Sugar was briefly in town on a secret mission (hopefully auditioning us for Survivor: Blood vs. Water 3, Annelie and Ben destroy each other), but was able to stop by for an afternoon of baking Sugar Kiper Cookies and sharing coffees.

 

Sugar Kiper Cookies 1

 

Fresh out of the oven, the slightly tinkered with Martha Stewart cookies were a festive delight. That was until someone (*cough* Annelie) suggested we snort the Royal Icing and the neighbours called the police for disorderly behaviour.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without a noise complaint, I guess. Enjoy!

 

Sugar Kiper Cookies 2

 

Sugar Kiper Cookies
Makes 20-30 cookies, cutter dependent

Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
115 grams unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup raw caster sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Royal Icing, lollies, edible glitter and anything else you would want to make them festive as fuck

Directions
In large bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. With mixer on low, gradually add flour mixture and beat until combined. Divide dough in half; flatten into disks. Wrap each in plastic and freeze until firm (about 20 minutes).

Preheat oven to 160 degrees. Line baking sheets with baking paper. Remove one dough disk to stand for 5-10 minutes. Roll out 1/2 centimetre thick, dusting dough with flour as needed. Cut shapes with cookie cutters. Using a spatula, transfer to prepared baking sheets. Re-roll scraps, cut shapes. Repeat with remaining dough.

Bake, rotating halfway through, until edges are golden, 10-15 minutes (depending on size). Cool completely on wire racks. Decorate as desired.

Halle Blueberry Waffles

Breakfast, Dessert

Some people are very, very forgiving.

Very forgiving.

I mean, you can’t blame the teens who threw themselves in front of your car between stints in rehab and their various arrests (fun fact, we also inspired the actual bling ring kids) but to befriend the people who caused you so much trauma, stress and a PR nightmare takes a special kind of person.

Halle dropped over for breakfast yesterday; we think she may be scared to be around us at any event that could involve alcohol, which is fair enough but realistically when is alcohol not involved? Little did she know, we had accidentally spiked the batch of Halle Blueberry Waffles when we got into a fight and knocked over the last glass of our breakfast wine.

 

Halle BlueBerry Waffles 1

 

Over brunch, we caught up on how much our lives had changed for the better since we first connected, the Oscars (she feels snubbed for not getting a nom for Catwoman) and her idea for a potential reboot of The Flintstones, set in the future (that we kindly pretended was great and not at all like The Jetsons).

Thankfully the fresh, fluffy waffles went down better than her ideas with the exploding jewels of blueberry adding some fun to the occasion. We served them with some whipped cream, cinnamon and maple syrup, however they would work just as well with some butter and maple.

Enjoy!

 

Halle BlueBerry Waffles 2

 

Halle Blueberry Waffles
Serves 4-6, greed dependant

Ingredients
2 ¼ cups spelt flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
¼  teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
¾  cup soda water
¼  cup oil
1 cup blueberries
butter, for greasing
cream, butter, cinnamon and/or maple syrup to serve

Method
Preheat your waffle iron.

Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl, then whisk in all wet ingredients until smooth. Fold through blueberries.

Melt butter into waffle iron to grease. Scoop the batter into the waffle iron and close. Cook for 2-5 minutes, then repeat.