Baking

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake

Cake, Dessert, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

Well that was a pleasant little surprise on last night’s episode!

I mean, yes, we are friends with Savage (closer to frenemies) via his Pearl Islands cast-mate and two-time champ Sandra Diaz-Twine, there is nothing we love more than a delightful blindside. Particularly when it involves an idol blindsiding the entire tribe and poor Lil’ Fish, sexy-pants Joe and our favourite Unholy Trinity, Abi, Ciera and Kelley surviving another round.

Let’s not beat around my bush here, Andrew Savage was ropable when he greeted the Queen of Ponderosa and us after his weigh in; shouting expletives about those damn twists that just won’t let him win and how his perfect life, complete with wife, past legal career with Playboy and copious amounts of the money, is now ruined.

Thankfully, Annelie and I knew how to help break him out of his funk and dressed up as Skinny Ryan and Lil and challenged him to a cage-fight to work through him anger.

Once he was calmed, Savage was philosophical about the whole experience; understanding the importance of not everything going his way and feeling remorse for the way he flipped off Abi after she so thoughtfully pointed out he had bettered his place since the Pearl Islands and made the jury.

While he was sad that he will no longer be able to witness Joe’s balls move, and then move a little more resulting in Keith being solid and Joe’s (and probably Probst) having tight forearms, he was thrilled to be attending all future tribals, particularly after a stomach full of our Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake.

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake_1

 

This little number is a tweaked version of a Martha Stewart cake that is so rich, decadent and firmly upper-middle class and judgemental of anything different, that we knew it was the perfect pick-me-up for Andy Pandy.

Enjoy!

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake_2

 

Butterscotch PecAndrew Savage Cake
Serves: 10-12. Or a ropeable bootee, a Queen of Ponderosa and two crazies dressed as Ryan Shoulders and Lil.

Ingredients
Cake
3 ¾  cups plain flour
1 ¼  tsp baking powder
¾  tsp baking soda
2 ½  tsp salt
285g unsalted butter, softened
2 ½ cups muscovado sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
20ml pure vanilla extract
1 ¼ tsp dark rum
1 ¼ cups buttermilk, room temperature

Icing
345g butter, 115g left as a block, 230g cut into small pieces, softened
2 cups muscovado sugar
1 cup double cream
½ tsp salt
570g cream cheese, softened
½ cup icing sugar, sifted

Butterscotch
⅔ cup muscovado sugar
85g butter, cut into pieces
150g raw caster sugar
30ml water
¼ tsp coarse salt
½ cup double cream
2 cups pecan halves, toasted and chopped, plus more halves for garnish

Method
Preheat oven to 160C. Grease three 20cm pans and line the base with baking paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder and soda, and salt.

In a large bowl, beat the butter and muscovado sugar using a stand mixer on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy. This is roughly 6 minutes. One at a time, beat in the eggs, beating well after each addition,followed by the vanilla and the rum.

Add half of the flour mixture, removing the paddle to mix through lest you want a massive flour massacre sprayed against your walls, put it back in the stand mixture and put on low before slowly adding half of the buttermilk. Repeat the process with the remaining flour and buttermilk. Increase the speed to medium-high, and beat for a further 2 minutes to completely combine.

Split the batter among the three pans and bake until golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean, about 30-40 minutes. Transfer to wire racks, and let cool slightly before turning the cakes out and cooling completely. Emphasis on completely.

While the cakes are cooling, start on the icing by melting the block/chunk of butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat until golden brown, about 8 minutes. Add the muscovado sugar, cream and salt, stirring until sugar is completely dissolved. Bring to the boil, whisking constantly, and cook for 3 minutes. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and leave to cool. If you’re in a rush, pop it in the fridge for twenty minutes, stirring half way through, to help the process along.

Put the bowl in the stand mixer on low speed, add the cubed butter, a few pieces at a time, and beat on low until incorporated. Increase to medium, and beat for 2 minutes. In another bowl, beat the cream cheese and icing sugar on medium-high until fluffy and smooth, about 3 minutes. Don’t over-beat or the cream cheese will go soft. Add brown-butter mixture to cream cheese, and beat on medium speed until smooth. Cover, and refrigerate until chilled, about 4 hours.

To make the butterscotch, mix the sugars, water, butter and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until the sugar dissolves. Bring to the boil and cook for a further 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cream before returning to the heat for a further 2 minutes. Leave to cool slightly while you prep the cakes.

Trim the top off two of the cakes and both the top and bottom of third (for the middle) to create flat, absorbent surfaces.

Take the butterscotch and brush about 100ml of the butterscotch on each cut side. Leave to cool.

Remove the icing from the fridge and spread 1 cup of icing on the butterscotch side of the base layer. Place the middle, double-sauced layer on top. Spread 1 cup of icing on the middle layer, then place the final layer on top, sauce side down. Spread 1 cup icing on the top and sides and refrigerate until firm, at least 2 hours (or it may get melty…like the pictures because of the Cambodian heat.

Using a spatula, spread remaining icing (or less, it makes stacks and lets be honest, those offcuts aren’t going to eat themselves so may need some leftover sauce/icing to entice you), on the top and sides of cake. Press chopped pecans on sides and garnish top with halves. Refrigerate for a further 4 hours and devour.

On plates, or as per Probst’s suggestion, on Savage’s naked body. Kass, surprisingly, Annelie and I went for plate option.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins

Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Ken is such a doll – you have no idea!

While I had the pleasure of catching up with Ken for drinks at PUMP just after seeing Lisa last year, poor Annelie wasn’t able to attend and, I think, has been struggling with missing our Hollywood father-figure a little more than I do.

As fans would know, Ken is kind, thoughtful and loving man and despite being solo (he didn’t want Giggy to end up in a Pistol and Boo scenario) he filled our house with so much heart!

Ken regaled us with spoilers from the upcoming season of RHOBH (you’ll never guess who Rinna glasses this year), while we gave thanks for our achievements over the last year and brainstormed ideas for the next venue in the Vanderpump-Todd dining dynasty.

Given that our date was to celebrate an early thanksgiving, and Ken is such a sweetie, we had to go with our Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins.

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins_1

 

Pumpkin is probably one of my favourite ingredients, the sweetness mixed with the earthy, rich, woodiness is so versatile and so delicious.

Add it to a cinnamon coated muffin and you’re in heaven. Enjoy!

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins_2

 

Spiced PumpKen Todd Muffins
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
small butternut pumpkin, baked and blitzed into a puree (you’ll need 1 ¼ cups puree)
140g unsalted butter, room temperature
3 cups plain flour
2 ½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp baking soda
1 tsp coarse salt
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ tsp ground allspice
⅓ cup buttermilk
¾ cup dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 ½ tsp ground cinnamon

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C. Place the pumpkin on a lined tray and baking for about 50 minutes. Remove from the oven, slice in half, seed and leave to cool for about half an hour. Once cooled blitz into a puree in a blender or food processor.

Reduce the heat of the oven to 170°C.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and allspice together in a medium bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk and pumpkin puree.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar on medium speed of an electric mixer until fluffy and pale brown. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Reduce the mixer to low and add a third of the flour mixture, then add half the buttermilk-puree hybrid, followed by another third of flour, the rest of the buttermilk-puree and then, you guessed it, the last of the flour.

Divide the mixture evenly amongst 8 lined Texas muffin tins and bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Let muffins cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack in the pan.

While they are cooling, combine the caster sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl.

One at a time, remove the muffins from the pan and toss in the sugar mixture until coated and place on the wire rack. Repeat until they are done.

Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Snickerdoodle Offerman

Snack, Sweets, Treat Yo' Self Week

Let me just start by saying that Nick Offerman is an American Hero and a Saint.

I first met Nick through his wife and on-screen ex-wife, Megan Mullally Tammy 2 – I first connected with Megsy on the set of her first credit in Risky Business where I was working as Tom Cruise’s fluffer (oh the humanity). Given our penchant for peen and love of smutty humour, we quickly became best friends and I acted as Maid of Dishonour at her wedding to Nick Offerman, American Hero.

As soon as Megs met Nick I knew he was the one for her and despite an unbridled jealousy that he wasn’t attracted to me, I was able to contain my pain, anger and arousal enough to become his pal and confidante.

After starring in a disturbing number of films with Sandra Bullock, Annelie and I became heavily involved in shaping his career, leading to him collaborating with Megsy and landing his breakout role playing my ideal man Ron Swanson. While we pushed him in the direction of Parks as part of our shameless attempt to stalk and befriend Amy Poehler, it truly was the role of he was born to play.

Nick was only able to drop in for a short visit, what with him coming back to Australia early next year, but he always makes time for his best friends particularly given our love of Treat Yo’ Self Week. Plus, a Snickerdoodle Offerman is a pretty good way to sweeten the deal.

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman_1

 

We first whipped up these sweet delights to celebrate Parks’  second season renewal in honour of Ron and the strapping man, our friend, who played him.

The richness of the dark muscovado sugar and the whisky is perfectly cut by the salty bacon, making for the perfect biscuit fit for a Pawnee Parks Director.

Whiskey bacon snickerdoodles? TREAT. YO’. SELF.

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman_2

 

Snickerdoodle Offerman
Makes: 24.

Ingredients
3 rashers streaky bacon
3 tbsps whiskey, preferably Lagavulin
⅓  cup + 2 tbsp dark muscovado sugar
1 ⅔  cups plain flour
½  tsp ground nutmeg
¾  tsp baking powder
½  tsp salt
½  cup butter, at room temperature
2 tbsp caster sugar
1 large egg
1 tbsp cinnamon

Method
Finely dice the bacon, emphasis on finely, and cook in a small frypan over medium heat until crispy. When crispy, add 2 tbsp of whiskey and 2 tbsp of the muscovado and cook off until sticky and glorious. Leave to cool for about an hour.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Sift the flour, nutmeg, baking powder and salt into a medium bowl.

In a large bowl, cream the butter with the ⅓ cup sugar in a stand mixer on medium until light in texture and caramelly in colour. With the mixer still running, beat in the egg and  remaining whiskey.

Reduce speed to low and slowly combine in dry ingredients and the sticky bacon goop until you have a smooth, coherent mixture.

Place the caster sugar and cinnamon in a large bowl and quickly mix around.

With your hands, pinch out a meatball sized piece of dough and roll into balls between the palms of your hands. Roll in the cinnamon-sugar mixture and place on a large lined baking sheet. Obviously repeating the process until they are all done. There may be some cinnamon sugar left, but leave that for later.

Place the cookies in the oven and bake for roughly 15 minutes, or until they are golden brown. Remove them from the oven and leave to rest for a minute.

I am a cinnamon fiend, so at this point I re-roll the hot snickerdoodles in the cinnamon sugar and transfer to cool on a wire rack. Or you know, just devour immediate and treat yo’ self to some third-degree mouth burns.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Prettazels

Snack, Treat Yo' Self Week

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys – relax! Treat Yo’ Self Day is finally here again. Yep, that’s right everyone It’s Treat Yo’ Self Two-Thousand-Fifteen!

To mark such a wonderous occasion, we couldn’t look beyond a catch-up with the Queen of Treat Yo’ Self and in the future, the world, Re “Regal Meagle” tta.

I first befriended Retta online after joining together in a Twitter feud with Ashton Kutcher and connected in person on the Parks set when we travelled back in time to embed ourselves in the writer’s room to invent … the best day of the year!

Retta, like us, is a fan of the finer things in life and enjoys being a dominant force of awesomeness and as such, our bond was immediate as we owned the L.A. social scenes and feuded with and then befriended the Kardashians.

Retta has been quite busy since wrapping Parks and wanted to make the most of her time off from Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce (Andy, I know our relationship ended poorly but you know you want me to headline a Housewives series – Brisbane is pretty boozy) by relaxing with her closest friends and celebrating Treat Yo’ Self Week with our glorious, salty Prettazels.

 

Prettazels_1

 

Real, pretzels (you know, as genuine as one from a cart outside The Met can be) are literally the greatest thing in the world – pillowy on the inside, crisp on the outside and covered in salty, salty goodness that cures the blues of trudging through Time Square to avoid the paps on Fifth Ave.

One of the many lessons learnt from Seinfeld, is that Prettzels make you thirsty, so we made sure we had plenty of leftover Jimosas on hand.

Prettazels? Treat. Yo’. Self.

 

Prettazels_2

 

Prettazels
Makes: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup milk
7g dry yeast
3 tbsp packed light brown sugar
2 ¼ cups plain flour
30g butter, softened and diced
1 tsp fine salt
1 egg, beaten with a dash of milk
maldon salt flakes

Method
Warm the milk in a saucepan until it is roughly 50 C and pour into a large mixing bowl for a stand mixture. Sprinkle in the yeast and leave to bask in the warm milk bath for about 2 minutes before stirring in the brown sugar and 1 cup of the flour. Add the butter and stir into the mix. Add the remaining flour and the fine salt and knead in a stand mixer with dough hook for 3-5 minutes or until it is smooth yet a little bit sticky (who doesn’t love sticky buns – treat yo’ self). Shape into a ball and leave to prove, because don’t we all have something to prove, in a warm place, in a lightly oiled bowl and cover with cling wrap for about two to three hours.

While the dough is proving, preheat the oven to 220C.

Punch the dough back, in a non-aggressive manner, and divide into 6 pieces. Roll and stretch each piece with the palms of your hands into a 50cm(ish) rope shape before curling into a cirle shaping, knotting the ends over each other and pressing into the base (sorry, terrible description but just aim for a pretzel shape). I am pretty awful at the stretching process, so opted for a fatter more rustic style of pretzel, but there are videos showing you how to do it on YouTube that look like a Devo film-clip.

Place on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until all the dough has been used. Brush with the egg wash and sprinkle generously with salt flakes. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Eat as is, or dip in a mustard mayo for ultimate treat!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Laura Amaretti Cookies

12 Days of Survivor Christmas

Ok, I have a confession to make. Ben and I only reconnected with Laura Morett to try and draw Ciera Eastin into our inner circle. Unfortunately Ciera was too busy trying to distance herself  from Blood vs Water 2’s seemingly villainous heathen Baylor Wilson, to whom she had been  compared.

While we would have been great PR for you Ciera, we understand. And Baylor – call us. We’re here for you.

Amaretti 1

Despite this cunning plot, Laura and I go way back. She was recruited to whip Ben and I back into shape after our failed attempt to join the cast of the Biggest Loser (*almost* making it onto a show for which you prepared by eating a minimum of five parmigianas per day is devastating, trust me).

We whiled away the day chatting about Sarah Palin, Shambo and other topics of significant mutual interest which enjoying a delicious amaretti biscuit or two. Laura was stern with the upper limit of two cookies per person, which was harsh but necessary – with Jill gone again  and Bob banished to crappy loser canyon, what incentive is there to power-eat our way back into Biggest Loser contention?

Despite Laura’s portion control, these biscuits are extremely easy to eat – particularly when warm. The dense, chewy almond filling heartily flips the bird to it’s somewhat posher cousin, the macaron. Plus, they are a breeze to whip up!

photo 3

Laura Amaretti Cookies
Makes 20 cookies

Ingredients
180g almond meal
50g plain flour, sifted
3/4 cup caster sugar
2 egg whites
1 vanilla bean, seeds scraped
20 almonds

Directions
Preheat oven to 170 degrees celcius. In large bowl, mix together all ingredients except whole almonds gently until a uniform dough comes together.

Line a large baking tray with non-stick paper. Roll tablespoons of mixture into balls and space evenly on the tray. Press down gently on each dough ball with an almond.

Bake 15-20 minutes, or until golden and set.