Cognac

The Ritsifu Alsup

Drink, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce returned for another shot at the competition, and almost instantly Katurah developed a deep hatred for his antics. And complained about him in an iconic fashion for six episodes. Sadly for her, he found an idol behind her back – with the help of the rest of the tribe, no less – just before the tribes came together for the non-merge. Kaleb was a sweet icon, winning hearts and minds as soon as they came together. Sadly for him, that led to a deep jealousy from Bruce who quickly turned the tribe against him for being too much of a threat. Thankfully Queen Emily didn’t want to lose her only fellow Lulu, so covertly told him he needed to play his Shot in the Dark. Which he promptly did, earning his safety and negating all 11 votes cast at tribal council. As such, the group had to revote and poor J. copped the stray and found herself out of the game.

Back at camp the tribe was buzzing from the excitement of tribal council, none more so than Kaleb, who congratulated everyone for making the merge. He thanked everyone for treating him with such kindness despite him being at the bottom, while everyone congratulated him for breaking multiple records on his way to making the merge. Though you best believe he knows he still has no allies. Everyone split up, with Bruce confronting Katurah in front of Drew and Austin, then Kaleb and Dee, about the fact she was on the fence about voting Kaleb and suggested that she looped him in on the need to play the Shot in the Dark. Thankfully she kept things calm in front of everyone, pulling him aside in front of her fellow Belo women, to request that he ask those sorts of questions just in front of her.

And just like that, what he thought was a brilliant play to single her out is potentially going to be the thing that ends his game. Hopefully, at least.

The next day Kaleb and Katurah caught up, with the icon quickly looping Kaleb in on the fact that Bruce is a messy, dirty rat and was the one that tried to take down Kaleb. He in turn agreed that he always felt Bruce was out to get him, given he was jealous of how likeable he was. Katurah decided to go lead the charge to get rid of Bruce instead, as unaware to her, Kendra was already talking to Kellie about getting rid of him ASAP. Sadly for the Ks and the audience, Kellie felt like she was Bruce’s number one and as such didn’t want to kill him too quickly. Kaleb and Emily meanwhile caught up, with her assuring him that she wants to work with him, but they just need to bide their time to get rid of more numbers. Emily caught up with Austin, who was vibing with his full powered idol, hopeful to coast by until he could get rid of Kellie and jag a solo steal a vote.

Austin and Sifu were doing some sort of sparring they knew before Bruce jumped in and tried to explain how to do it better, annoying everyone in the process. Kaleb looked on, laughing to himself that it is clear that Bruce only has an extra 14 hours of playing time on the rest of the cast, given he is such a mess. And far from being considered a returnee. Kaleb found Jake and floated the idea of getting rid of Bruce and while Jake wanted to work with Kaleb, he knew he needed to keep numbers for now and as such, got to work bridging the gap between them instead. However when Bruce and Kaleb caught up, Bruce went on some stupid, nonsensical story explaining life to him and yeah, Kaleb has zero desire to work with the pain in the arse.

Sensing he is dislikable, Bruce caught up with Kellie who tried to caution him about running his mouth too much and making himself a target. And while Kellie felt like she didn’t want to get rid of him, she is also exhausted about babysitting the old man. She found Jake to have a nice vent, talking about how Bruce’s mouth will be their downfall if they aren’t careful and as such, they need to lock in Emily and Kaleb to work with them. And keep Bruce as silent as possible.

The tribe joined with Probst for the iconic hold-on-a-telegraph-pole-for-as-long-as-possible challenge. You know the one, Parvati held on casually while everyone else dropped like flies. Oh and given the new era needs a twist, they’d be split into two groups with the winner of each winning immunity as tonight will be a double tribal council. And the one that lasts the longest win’s their group a trip to the sanctuary for tacos and earns the person eliminated from the group a place on the jury. Because the first person voted out will be the last pre-jury member, which TBH, is fucking brutal. And. I. Love. It.

Dee, Julie, Katurah, Jake, Austin and Kaleb formed one group, while Bruce, Sifu, Kendra, Kellie and Emily were competing for the second immunity. But TBH, we kinda know Dee and her long toes are winning this, right? Almost instantly, Emily dropped, followed closely by Queen Julie. And then Queen Kendra, our resident Drew Barrymore impressionist. Jake joined the exodus, followed by Sifu and Bruce, leaving Kellie and Drew to battle for one of the immunities. Austin dropped as Drew started to slide down his pole – yas, king – before ultimately dropping and handing Kellie immunity. She hung in there hoping for reward, as Kaleb dropped, leaving Dee and Katurah battling for the second immunity. Wait, no Katurah dropped, handing Dee the other immunity, leaving her to battle Kellie for the reward. And as predicted, Dee and her super toes slayed, as Kellie fell after 17 minutes.

Meaning Dee’s toes guaranteed everyone in her group a place on the jury.

We followed the losers as they were rightly cast aside to the old Lulu camp. Kellie apologised for screwing everyone out of the tacos, and presumably the jury. Drew caught up with Bruce, offering up a Sifu blindside given he knows the Belos have the upper hand. As he went person to person to beg, Kendra admitted that she would actually be keen to blindside Bruce so he doesn’t get paranoid or worse, idol someone out of the game. As she looped in Drew, Sifu and Emily, Bruce was busy talking to Kellie about how he thinks he is Kendra’s target tonight. Leaving Kellie to try and broker peace between her feuding allies.

Sifu and Emily caught up, with the former having a bad feeling that he will be the one to go for no other reason than everyone wants a Reba out the door. Meanwhile Kellie and Kendra were looping each other in on their relevant intel, with Kellie begging Kendra to assure Bruce that she isn’t coming for him. And while he is annoying, nobody wants to take him to the end. And if he made it, nobody would vote for him, anyway. As such, Kendra approached Drew about changing the vote to Sifu and after assuring Bruce that she wants to work with him, all appeared to be locked in. 

Nervous, Drew pulled Kendra aside to try and sway her back to Bruce. As Kendra tried to assure Bruce she wasn’t against him, he started to rail against her to Kellie, threatening to play his idol as he just can not trust her. Making everyone feel confused and chaotic as they headed out to tribal.

At said tribal council everyone spoke about how they can’t catch a break with all the twists, Drew talking specifically about the fact this tribal carries a lot of weight, given one of them won’t make the jury. Kendra wisely spoke about this tribal council affording her the opportunity to make it to the end and solidify loyalty, before Bruce shut it down saying loyalty changes day by day. Womp womp. Kellie spoke about the confusion of all the random draws and how they still await a vote where everyone is an option. Sifu spoke about his spidey sense that something is afoot and that he is confident he is a target, with Bruce agreeing that he also feels it. Though is trying to trust in the conversations he has had. Sifu, thankfully, called bullshit and spoke about there being a clear split in this group, however all he can do is sell himself as a meatshield. Kendra meanwhile spoke about how it may look like they are Belo strong, but that nobody should assume. Which Bruce jumped on, adding more mystery and confusion to the proceedings.

With that the group voted and Sifu’s gut proved correct as everyone banded together to send Sifu out of the game and all the way home, cursing him to being undateable as a pre-jury finisher. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and lamented that while his outcome truly sucks, there is something special about being screwed by a twist in the eyes of a fan. And maybe, just maybe, that will be enough to earn him a second chance season. Or something. I was on a time crunch to celebrate his time on the island but get him to the airport before the next boot arrived, so I quickly threw together a The Ritsifu Alsup as a toast out the door.

This fresh, sweet twist on the ritz cocktail is near perfect. A little tart, rich and sweet and delightfully fizzy, it is the right level of festive fun which we truly need now. Forever. And always, TBH. Surprise pre-juror or not.

Enjoy!

The Ritsifu Alsup
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
15ml cointreau
5ml lemon juice
5ml maraschino
20ml cognac
45ml champagne

Method
Pop everything by the champagne in a cocktail shaker, fill with ice and shake until smooth and chill.

Strain into a glass, top with champagne and down. Repeat as required. Responsibly, of course.


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Georgia Ray Julep

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched up, shunting the previously liberated Cara back to the Brain slums though thankfully stacking it with her friends. She and the Brawns first planned to take out Georgia, but Cara messed things up  – or cooked it, if you will – and booted Daini by mistake. Meanwhile Hayley was very busy being a boss after blindsiding Joey, threatening the Brawn majority that she will happily idol out one of the OG Brawns if they don’t join her and the Brains. And since Wai and Andrew were both immune at the double tribal council, the Brawns had a 50:50 shot of getting things right. As such, Simon and co jumped ship and booted Shannon while Laura was the victim on Brains given Georgia was on medical leave and Rachel was also immune. But Laura got lucky, given the two tribes were solely booting one person and SImon went to town turning everyone on Shannon and she exited the game.

The next day things were relatively calm over in Camp Brawn, with Simon grateful to have won the battle with Shannon. While Flick was the only one to not vote in the majority, she was quickly bonding with Andrew and Wai, perfecting their shelter and keeping the camp functioning. Like a social Queen. Meanwhile Simon and Dani pulled Hayley aside to solidify their bond, with Simon sharing that he is so glad that she didn’t waste her idol because they’re all solid and Flick is screwed. Essentially. Sadly for him, the Brains are not on board with things as Hayley got to work building a bond with Flick to lock in the majority instead. And you know, get rid of Chelsea, Dani and Simon.

While Flick was obviously gutted to lose her ally Shannon, she had already moved on and was ready to jump ship and lock things in with the Brains. And well, the way she and Hayley spoke about the stupidity of Dani and Simon thinking an alliance of seven is better than their new one of five was just peak Survivor slash Queen players. Long may they rule, despite Simon’s speedo.

We checked in with the Brains where Kez was busy brushing her teeth with charcoal while Laura was just shocked to still be in the game after the last tribal. Laura clearly saw the breakdown of the alliances within the tribe and while there were no ins, she was ready to continue building relationships until one appeared. And well, maybe something is, as she and Kez went for a walk to chat. Which immediately made Cara and George very nervous, particularly the former given she straight up made a mistake and cost Daini the game. Something that enraged Kez.

My love Jonathan returned for the reward challenge where three people from each tribe would have to hold a pole across their shoulders with weights routinely added throughout the challenge. For tacos and margs, so you know the rewardless Cara was desperate for the Brains to pull something out. Gerald, Emmett and Kez stepped up for their tribe, battling Baden, Simon and Chelsea for the Brawns. Under George’s orders, the Brains opted to load most of the weight on Chelsea to eliminate her early, while Gerald was weighed down by the Brawns. After George decided Chelsea was struggling enough and likely to drop soon, he directed the tribe to focus on Simon to eliminate another threat. Which was wise, given Chelsea was the first one to drop at 35 minutes. She was quickly joined by Baden, leaving Simon as the sole person fighting for Brawn. Proving that George truly is an asset. Kez was the first one to drop for Brains, followed by Gerald who dropped out of nowhere after a lapse in concentration. Emmet and Simon continued to fight for over an hour, reaching 90kgs until Simon dropped and handed Brains victory.

And Queen Cara, the first bit of luxury in over two weeks.

The Brains were thrilled to discover their taco cart back at camp, with Cara in particular grateful for actual food. George meanwhile was just thrilled to knock back some margies, like the iconic Shonella themselves. While everyone joyously ate their tacos, the tribe got an even more joyous surprise to see Georgia return to camp, delighted that she was feeling better. Before plying her with tacos and margaritas, two of the worst things for an upset stomach. She reunited with Laura and Rach, ready to fight for their lives while Emmett, Gerald and Kez doubled down on the fact that one of them needed to go. ASAP.

Jonathan returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would need to push a sled through obstacles and fill it with sand bags they collect along the way, before using said sand bags to knock down a series of targets and snatch immunity. Brawn got out to the earliest of leads, collecting all of their sandbags and barrelling to the end while Emmett desperately tried to collect them, practically single handedly, for the Brains. While Emmett continued his heroics for the Brains, Dani slayed on the slingshot, knocking out two tiles before their rivals even made it to the end. As Gerald desperately tried to close the gap, Simon traded in for Brawn and cracked their third. Then Emmett traded out for Gerald and damn, he is a beast, knocking out three of the tiles just before Simon took out immunity for the Brawns. Just.

Back at camp things were feeling a little bit tense with Emmett frustrated to lose again, despite being immensely glad to be in the majority. Which really helps to dull the pain. He pulled the Brawn plus Cara and George majority aside and decided that since they continue to fail at taking out the minority, they will just vote for one person and hope for the best that it is the right one. Quickly locking in Georgia as the easy vote.

Returning to the camp, Georgia pulled Emmett aside to see what she could possibly do to save herself. She immediately questioned why he aligned with George and Cara, with Emmett admitting that they are volatile and as such, she proposed he joined with the Brain girls to take one of them out instead. Georgia continued to play into all of their fears and stroked their egos, with Kez joining and agreeing that she’d prefer some more stability in her allies. Particularly given Simon will come for her eventually. Sadly for the ladies, Emmett was having none of it and told them as much, apologising and wandering off while they prepared for their inevitable doom.

This infuriated Georgia, who was ready to do anything to tear him down and beat the patriarchy. The Brains girls opted to try and get Cara out no matter what, with Rachel deciding their best hope would be to pull Kez over to their side to at the very least, tie things up. Rachel and Laura pulled her aside, with Kez admitting that she is annoyed to be aligned with Cara given she ended Daini’s game. And just like that, the girls went in, playing on all of Kez’s fears and desires to try and pull her over to their side.

Emmett meanwhile started to worry that something was up, so pulled Kez aside to play into all of her fears of ruining the Brawn majority. Though given Kez gave zero fucks about taking out Cara since she isn’t actually Brawn, she shared that she would rather go to rocks than let Cara survive.

At tribal council George spoke about intra-tribal divisions as opposed to the fact there are alliances. Rachel obviously called bullshit before Emmett smugly spoke about not breaking when the girls came to him to make a deal. This infuriated the girls with Laura and Rach going in on his arrogance, calling him out for hating on George and Cara but solely sticking with them for the numbers. This irked the hell out of Emmett, who assured George and Cara that he never talked shit about them and wanted to go to the merge strong with them. Which Cara and George ate up.

Rachel spoke about the frustration of putting it all on the line to win despite being on the bottom, with Emmett telling her that if she really tried to win they wouldn’t be back here. Which is both smug and infuriating. Cara started to feel bad, telling Rachel that if maybe they approached someone else, like her, they would have had a different outcome. Laura pointed out that they went to the people who they actually thought would be open to something with them, while Kez said that she was always willing to jump the fence should it be beneficial for her. She spoke about being playdough and while Jonathan suggested Laura try and mould her, Laura calmly pointed out that she is not willing to tell a woman what to do with her autonomy.

Given that very pointed dig, Emmett started to panic, reiterating how important it is for them to stick together if they want to make it to the merge together. But Rach and co continued to be iconic, pointing out that Emmett is controlling things and to paraphrase them, is dominating decisions as the dominant, white heterosexual male. Again, to paraphrase. With that, the tribe voted, Queen Kez stood firm and poor Georgia found herself booted from the game mere moments after making her triumphant medical return.

While I was heartbroken to see my fellow Queenslander Georgia walk into Loser Lodge, I was thrilled that she was able to see out the game rather than medevaced. Despite being joyously reunited and catching up, things got super awks between us when she asked where her Georgia Cheeseburgers were and well, I didn’t bother to make her any. Instead, we downed a couple of Georgia Ray Juleps, which thankfully washed away the post-boot pain and the awkwardness.

Despite being well-known as someone who would suck the alcohol out of a deodorant, that doesn’t factor in when I say that this little baby is a pure delight. Sweet and fruity with a punch of mint, this is a refreshing way to bring a little life back to your soul.

Enjoy!

Georgia Ray Julep
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
90ml cognac
20ml peach liqueur
1 tsp sugar syrup
a dash or two of bitters
8 mint leaves

Method
Place all the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and give a quick shake.

Pour into an old fashioned glass filled with crushed ice.

Down, triumphantly.


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Aubry Bracco Vin

Main, Poultry, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, advantagemageddon occurred meaning five of the six people were immune, eliminating kween Cirie by default.

She better be the first – and only – five time player.

Not wanting to remind us of another painful Cirie exit, Probst returned for the second immunity of the night – the classic dropping balls, balancing them on your hard rods and guiding them through tight holes. Aubry and Troyzan struggled dearly while Brad and Sarah took an early lead. Sarah choked at the last minute of the first run, giving Brad a clear outright lead … from which no one else could catch-up, giving him his fourth individual immunity of the season.

With Brad immune, Aubry was particularly scared given he has zero interest in ever working with her. Confirming her fears, Brad felt victory was in sight and quickly locked in the Aubry vote with Troyzan and Brad.

Aubry tried to work over Tai and Sarah, knowing that Brad was dragging Troyzan to the end as a goat no matter what. Sarah pulled Tai aside to see whether she could trust him again, trepidatiously asking what they should do … with even Tai locking in the vote against Aubry.

Tai then joined Brad in the hammock, where Brad continued to bully him saying that he had no choice and had to vote with him no matter what for the rest of the game. This spooked Tai, who returned to Sarah and confirmed that they should get of Brad’s right hand Troyzan.

We returned to tribal to be reminded that Cirie was eliminated by default, breaking hearts globally.

Probst got his man-boner out to gush over Brad’s immunity run, with Troyzan hopefully he could snag a win the next time. As expected, Aubry wasn’t feeling confident … but boy did she try to convince Sarah and Tai to boot Troyzan and free up another seat at the final tribal. Sarah tellingly said that Aubry’s pitch was great, if that is what is best for all of them. Everyone but Troyzan was feeling concerned about who they could beat in the final, which is crazy since he is the least likely to win. Sadly Aubry’s pitch fell on deaf ears – or at least ones that didn’t have interests that align with hers – as she found herself booted from the game in fifth place.

Hey – at least she actually got votes before getting her torch snuffed, I guess?

As you know, Aubs and I attended Brown with Summer Roberts, and the three off us have been the best of friends ever since. Thankfully this post-boot catch-up was less heartbreaking than our last, given that she was robbed the last time and this one I’m surprised she stayed as long as she did with as large (and as recent) a target as she did.

I’m even more thankful that Aubs is so easily pleased by any food on offer – coleslaw, anyone – because it means that she completely goes nuts on our dates, particularly if it means she gets Aubry Braccos Vin.

 

 

Straight up, there is bacon, chicken, mushroom and red wine – do you need me to say anything more?

Yes? Go fuck yourself. Sorry, that’s aggressive. But kinda deserved.

No? Exactly – enjoy.

 

 

Aubry Bracco Vin
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
250g smoked streaky bacon, roughly diced
olive oil
2kg chicken breasts, cut into a large dice
¼ cup Cognac
salt and pepper, to taste
1 bay leaf
3-4 sprigs of thyme, leaves removed
6 onions, sliced
3 tbsp flour
2 cups Côtes du Rhône ( … or any red wine, though how good are all those accents?)
2 cups chicken stock
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tbsp tomato paste
400g mushrooms, quartered

Method
Start by heating a lug of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat, add the bacon and cook for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken and cook for a further ten minutes, or until sealed on the outside. Add the Cognac, let it bubble up and stir for a few minutes. You could light the cognac and let it burn off the alcohol, but I’m scared of fire and would totally lose the final four tie-breaker.

Add a good whack of salt and pepper, the bay leaf, thyme and onions, stir and cook for a further fifteen minutes. Sprinkle in the flour while stirring and cook for a minute or so before adding the wine, stock, garlic and tomato paste to the pan. Bring pot to the boil, reduce heat to low, cover and cook for about half an hour, stirring as you see fit.

Add the mushrooms, stir and cook for a further fifteen minutes, or until soft and glorious.

Remove from the heat and serve immediately on a bed of mashed potatoes, or with thick chunks of crusty bread.

 

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