Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

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Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Following our work preparing Mickey Rooney for his role in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Annelie and I became the go-to members of Hollywood’s elite for any guidance on appropriate representations of cultures and ethnicities in film, which lead to our first meeting with our dear best friend Linda Hunt.

It was 1982 and Linds was preparing to play the role of Billy Kwan in her acclaimed breakthrough performance in The Year of Living Dangerously, when our pal Mel suggested that we be brought on to coach her on representing a Chinese-Australian and help her with her dialect.

Friendship quickly blossomed during the arduous hours on set perfecting her Oscar winning performance and we eventually became best friends following an aggressive bar-fight with Sigs Weaver and her posse at the wrap party.

Linda has a late start for filming of the latest season of NCIS: LA and wanted to make the most of it and spend some time with her besties, so is dropping over for the week.

What says hey girlfriend, we miss you, love you and don’t know how you and LL survive working with Chris O’Donnell on the daily? He is just the worst.

Picture source: TVGuide.com.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Goodnight … moon

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

To the general public, Christopher Walken is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma but to his dear friends he is loving, warm and so darn positive and joyous.

We last saw Chris in November, when we dropped by the set to support him during his turn in Peter Pan Live! After it took Allison Williams six hours just to get the kids out of the bedroom and over to Neverland, we opted to leave before he even appeared on screen.

While he was disappointed to not have his closest friends there until the end, he knew that our make-up date would be worth it. Plus, he completely understood us wanting to avoid Brian Williams with his half-truths and made up stories.

I mean, the gall of some people!

Chris said he would be in town this week and wanted to have our make-up celebration. What says sorry you had to suffer through that show with the worst one from Girls … while also honouring our forty-year friendship?

Picture source: Unknown.

Thrivin’ and a jivin’

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

There is nothing we enjoy more than to help our dear friends celebrate their birthdays.

The delightful Ari-Huff aka Arianna Huffington media-conglomerate, actress, author and global demi-God had a birthday last week but we sadly were too busy working on rebooting CHiPs to catch-up, so delayed the party until this week.

We first met Ari in the mid-80s when we were judging a Gabor-sound-a-like-contest where she placed second behind Magda as we forgot she existed (this later inspired her fight with Brian in our script for Family Guy). After realising our mistake and apologising profusely, Ari took us under her wing and proceeded to mentor us and act as a(nother) surrogate mother.

While we briefly lost touch last year after she refused to include our chapter on jive, jivin’ and jive turkeys in her book Thrive, our friendship is as strong as it has ever been.

What says happy birthday, we love you, please employ us and we really need to talk about expanding our jive chapter into a sequel to Thrive … as that is obviously why you had it removed?

Picture source: Jordan Strauss / Invision / AP file.

One hot CHiP(s)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We’ve really got to hand it to Fran Drescher, she may have reunited us with the (once) dastardly Charles Shaucuntessy, she also brought us together with a number of our closest friends.

We first met Erik Estrada when he was filming a guest stint in the second season of The Nanny. Grace had numerous stunts in the episode, so we spent a large amount of time on set with Henny-Penny (he allows his close friends to call him by his real name Henry or romantic variations thereof) where we heard how tight his clothes were in CHiPs.

Obviously wanting to ogle those buns at their highest point, literally and figuratively, we jumped straight in the time-machine and went back to befriend him in his heyday (and caused his first divorce).

And what a day it was …

What says thanks for the memories, our beautiful friendship and can we have your son’s number?

Picture source: Unknown.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

 

Coffees and … coochies

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After a busy week helping our celebrity friends and POTUS celebrate the Fourth of July weekend, we thought we should ease our way back into the social scene with a quiet catch-up with one of our oldest friends.

Being in his 70s, Al Pacino more than fit the bill.

We first met Al on the set of Cruising, where taking the title to heart I routinely tried to woo him over the course of production until he lodged a complaint with the director about my nude stalking.

After a decade feuding we reunited on the set of Dick Tracy (Annelie made it clear this wasn’t a porno and to behave) and have remained close friends ever since. We even coached him to act like Chris O’Donnell wasn’t the worst during his Academy Award winning turn in Scent of a Woman.

What says we have missed you dearly slash sorry for forcing you to do those awful coffee commercials about your Pacino scripts? You were right, terrible idea.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: Victoria Will/Invision/AP.

USA is A OK! (aka Americana Week)

Americana Week, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

With Friday’s SCOTUS ruling, we are feeling excited and loving all things equality … and if there is something we place as equal value on in as our extensive list of celebrity friends, it is the culinary joy that is Americana food.

I mean, literally cover us in rib sauce and buffalo wings in a bath of mac and cheese and we would be at our happiest.

We are heading over to the good ole U S of A at the request of our dear friend and POTUS, Barack, to oversee some official (and sadly private) cook-out duties at the White House for the 4th of July weekend.

While we can’t take you behind the scenes of that catch-up (he is POTUS guys, don’t be greedy) we thought we would drop in on five of our friends and help them celebrate their independence days.

What can we make that can live up to the movie (and its future sequel starring our dear friend Karl)?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: New Line Cinema/Buzzfeed.

Travelled down the road and back in time

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

It is a well-known fact that Annelie and I invented time-travel.

We won’t bore you with the details other than the fact it happens in thirteen years from now, anything beyond that would be too much for your poor, non-Scientific minds. Comparatively of course, as we are the two brightest (in your face Hawking).

Anyway, we have tried to keep all of our catch-ups in the present but sometimes you just want to spend time with some of your dearly-departed friends – particularly when their Hollywood home is on the market and we think it would be worthwhile going back to have their will changed.

Calm down, I can almost hear the universal disdain from here but dear Bea Arthur was one of our closest friends and she will appreciate the fact that we want to convert her home into a museum slash theme park, second to only Dollywood.

What says hey, we are from the future and would love for you to change your will so that we can convert your home into a monetised shrine to you?

It has to be something more enticing than a lifetime ban for her frenemy, Betty White…

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: NBC/LogoTV.com.

He’s A Sexy Babymaker

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I’ve said it once and I will likely say it a thousand times, mutual hatred is the ultimate relationship builder! None more so than when you are united by the hate of one Ms. Nicky Kidman (you know what you did Nicole).

While we made some poor choices and befriended her on the set of BMX Bandits, poor Simon Baker Denny married into a friendship with her and has had to tolerate her ways ever since.

Simon is dropping by to hate-watch Grace of Monaco with us and requested a small snack, that is warming and delicious. Super specific but we love him (even despite this look), what should we make?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: Unknown.

Aloha or (The Unexpected Virtue of Cultural Ignorance)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Our famous friends always tell us that we make a great shoulder to cry on. With all the eyebrow raising and tut-tutting surrounding our old friend Emma Stone and her role in Cameron Crowe’s Aloha, we thought our friend might need just that.

While I have needed to work through my deep-seated resentment for Emma (who replaced me as Woody Allen’s latest muse), I do admit she has a fine set of pipes so we need to keep her on side for a possible Jazz In Your Face vocal cameo (we are totally making it back on Ellen).

What could we make that could soothe our ‘culturally confused’ friend?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: marieclaire.com

Thank you for being a friend

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Firstly, we would like to start by thanking the Academy. For our future awards and affording us the opportunity to host in 2023 where we are described in Variety as “worse than Hathaway and Franco by a country mile.”

We also want to thank all the people in our lives, except for those that we despise (particular mention to Elijah Wood and Sean Astin, you still know what you did that summer).

Thank you to forty-nine of our dear celebrity friends, your desire to stay relevant and reignite your fame by dropping by for a documented meal has been humbling, arousing (mentally and physically, of course), irritating, enlightening and joyous.

To Alexander Skarsgård, for agreeing to drop the restraining order you had against me and coming over to celebrate the upcoming milestone fiftieth recipe with Annelie and I is a dream come true. In my case, obviously, that is a wet dream you stone fox.

Trying to come up with a recipe worthy of such a momentous occasion, that would also be an aphrodisiac, has been difficult and hard (particularly when I think of you Al), but I think we are almost there. Now I just need to find my most erotic outfit. What to wear, what to wear?

Picture source: HBO.