Lisa Wilkinscone

Baking, Dessert, Snack

Where do I start with my dear friend Lisa Wilkinson? I mean, while her defection from the Today show came as a massive shock to you, the general public, it is a decision that we had been methodically planning for months. Nay, years! Well at least for me.

You see, while I am a close friend of the Today show given my friendships with Karl and Sylv, I felt that Lisa was being underutilised and slow opened her eyes to this fact. Then contract negotiations kicked off, then failed and a couple of phones calls later, she was heading to primetime on Ten … and we’d be working together in no time after she secures me a spot on one of their reality shows.

That, for both of us, is the end goal – headlining a show together. And wouldn’t it be stunning.

Lis and I first connected in the ‘80s whilst working under the same glossy umbrella before she ultimately succeeded me as the editor of Cleo when I sensationally quit to start a male version He-ho, which was going to be comprised solely of centrefolds. While it tragically never took off, Lisa admired my spirit and we became the fastest of friends.

Given she has been busy relaxing before kicking off her new job, we haven’t seen each other in the last few months. It was truly wonderful to take some time out together to reconnect, decompress and plot the quickest way she can get me from an island to co-hosting something with her.

I feel like I’m going to say too much, so let’s just say my Lisa Wilkinscone are the perfect cure to starvation.

 

 

Are they fancy? No. Are they difficult? Again, no. Are they delicious? Fuck yes. Slather them in butter and some Strawberry Plaza Jam … or Jams Mansfield, and you’re in heaven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lisa Wilkinscone
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
3 cups flour
2 tbsp baking powder
pinch of salt
80g unsalted butter, cubed
1 ¼ cups milk
Strawberry Plaza Jam or Jams Mansfield and whipped cream, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Sift the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and rub together with your fingertips until it resembles wet sand.

Make a well in the centre, pour in the milk and using a butter knife, cut across the bowl until just combined. Turn onto a floured surface and knead until smooth, making sure not to over-work the dough.

Flatten the dough until it is roughly 2cm thick and cut into small, cookie-sized discs. Transfer to a lined baking sheet and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden and puffed. Transfer to a cooling rack for ten minutes before devouring slathered in butter, jam and cream.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Chicken & Jamie LeeKurtis Pies

Main, Party Food, Snack

After scaring us half to death with the prospect of a private, confidential catch-up, Jamie was on her best behaviour when she dropped by and she was proud of it.

We have been friends with Jamie since our childhood when I appeared as Kyle Richard’s stunt double in Halloween and Annelie was directing films under the pseudonym of John Carpenter.

Given the basis of our first meeting, scaring and pranks formed the basis of our relationship.

While we  have occasionally gone too far, what with the anthrax incident and the time we had her quarantined for Ebola, we’ve only had one serious fight after I was arrested for stalking her godson. I mean, the whole ugliness could have been avoided had she just consented to introducing us/allowing us to trap him in our home.

Despite this setback, we have always enjoyed a close working relationship with Jamie; getting her jobs on Roadgames, My Girl and the critically acclaimed Beverly Hills Chihuahua (although sadly, we couldn’t negotiate for her to keep her role in the sequels) and she keeps us with a bountiful supply of yoghurt and patented diapers.

James was in fine spirits, and surprisingly a shirt, when she dropped over, gushing over her upcoming role in Scream Queens (we know who the killer is, but obvs can’t say anything … other than the fact Billie Lourd is a saint, but look at her mother/grandmother) and how Jake was willing to meet up for mediation.

A return to fame for us and look who comes crawling back!

Wanting to focus on the boozing while she was here, we opted for a generous batch of our famous Chicken & Jamie LeeKurtis Pies.

 

Chicken & Jamie LeeKurtis Pies_1

 

Decidedly low on yoghurt content, these pies still keep you feeling regular. Obviously “regular” for you needs to mean happy and content with a stomach filled with love.

Enjoy! Also, fun fact, don’t use the line “a stomach filled with love” if you’re on trial for stalking.

 

Chicken & Jamie LeeKurtis Pies_2

 

Chicken & Jamie LeeKurtis Pies
Serves: 36.

Ingredients
¾ cup chicken stock
½ cup dry white wine
500g chicken breast, diced
20g butter
1 leek, chopped finely
1 stick celery, chopped finely
1 tbsp plain flour
2 tsp fresh thyme leaves
½ cup cream
1 tsp Dijon mustard
salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 sheets shortcrust pastry
4 sheets butter puff pastry
1 egg yolk, beaten lightly
extra thyme leaves

Method
Melt butter in the pan and brown diced chicken for 1-2 minutes. Add the leek and celery and cook, stirring, until soft.

Stir in thyme and flour until bubbling. Add white wine, stirring to combine until slightly thickened before adding the stock, cream and mustard, until mixture boils and thickens. Season to taste with salt and black pepper and remove from heat, cool slightly.

Preheat the oven to 200°C. Grease 3 x 12-hole muffin tins. Cut 36 squares from the shortcrust pastry. Press into prepared pans. Spoon 1 tablespoon of chicken mixture into each pastry case. Cut 36 squares from the puff pastry. Top chicken mixture with the pastry lids, brush with egg yolk and sprinkle with extra thyme leaves.

Bake on the lowest shelf for 15 minutes or until browned.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Arianncini Huffington

Party Food, Snack

It is pretty poor form for us to miss one of our closest friend’s birthdays but thankfully Arianna is so poised, dignified and understanding … particularly when it comes to rebooting CHiPs, which fun fact, is her favourite show of all time.

We have been close friends with Arianna and the wider Huffington family for the best part of the last three decades, with Annelie working as her campaign manager in the 2003 California recall election and while I went rogue, working pro-boner to bring down Arnie.

Sadly, I wasn’t his type and couldn’t get the right scandalous images and Arianna withdrew from the race after discovering my unethical plan but thankfully we were able to inspire her to launch the phenomenon that is The Huffington Post after a casual-power-lunch at Nobu.

While Arianna left lunch to get straight to work on building her empire, we lingered at the restaurant and commenced our long running feud with Yolanda Foster (we ended up giving her lyme disease) and quickly fled the country to avoid arrests.

Being a saint, Arianna  forgave us for our behaviour and has continue to support us publically as often as possible, most recently when I was campaigned for the non-existent role of King of Movember.

Wanting to impress Arianna during her quick jaunt to Brisbane (and make up for our tardiness), we opted to whip out our famed, noted and totally thriving Arianncini Huffington.

 

Arianncini Huffington_1

 

Like dear Ari, the Arianncini are textured, complex, warm with a bit of a kick and a warm gooey centre. All in all, a delight.

Enjoy and happy belated birthday dear friend!

 

Arianncini Huffington_2

 

Arianncini Huffington
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
900ml Chicken Stock
2-3 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
340g marinated artichokes, drained and chopped
300g arborio rice
¼ cup dry white wine
30g unsalted butter, chopped
½ cup finely grated parmesan
squeeze of fresh lemon juice
1 tsp dried chilli flakes
100g mozzarella, cut into small cubes (you could trade out for fetta)
1 tablespoon plain flour
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 cups (200g) dried breadcrumbs

Method
Bring stock to the boil over high heat and keep at a gentle simmer.

Heat oil in a large, heavy-based pan over medium-low heat, add onion and cook for 3-4 minutes until soft. Add artichokes and rice and stir for 1-2 minutes to coat grains. Add wine and stir for 3-4 minutes until almost evaporated. Add a ladleful of stock and allow it to be absorbed. Repeat until all of the stock is used. Reduce heat and continue until rice is cooked but still firm to the bite (10-ish minutes max). Stir in butter, parmesan, lemon and chilli, and season to taste. Spread risotto in a shallow dish to cool, cover and refrigerate for at least an hour or overnight.

I find it is easy to work with if it was in the fridge for only a few hours.

Preheat oven to 200 C. Line a tray with baking paper. Place 1 tablespoon of risotto in the palm of your hand and flatten slightly. Place a piece of mozzarella in the centre, then roll up to enclose and form a smooth ball. Place on the tray. Repeat with remaining risotto, then chill balls for 10 minutes. Place flour, egg and crumbs in separate bowls. Dust risotto balls in flour, then dip in egg, roll in crumbs and return to tray.

Drizzle balls with oil and place in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp, turning halfway through baking. Yes, I am aware that is a terrible instruction, but I’m scared of frying the balls.

Best served with a spicy tomato sauce. Surely we have a recipe laying around here, somewhere?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Thrivin’ and a jivin’

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

There is nothing we enjoy more than to help our dear friends celebrate their birthdays.

The delightful Ari-Huff aka Arianna Huffington media-conglomerate, actress, author and global demi-God had a birthday last week but we sadly were too busy working on rebooting CHiPs to catch-up, so delayed the party until this week.

We first met Ari in the mid-80s when we were judging a Gabor-sound-a-like-contest where she placed second behind Magda as we forgot she existed (this later inspired her fight with Brian in our script for Family Guy). After realising our mistake and apologising profusely, Ari took us under her wing and proceeded to mentor us and act as a(nother) surrogate mother.

While we briefly lost touch last year after she refused to include our chapter on jive, jivin’ and jive turkeys in her book Thrive, our friendship is as strong as it has ever been.

What says happy birthday, we love you, please employ us and we really need to talk about expanding our jive chapter into a sequel to Thrive … as that is obviously why you had it removed?

Picture source: Jordan Strauss / Invision / AP file.