Chickeke Parma Burger moments before Keke Palmer got her hands on it.

Chickeke Parma Burger

Burgers, Main, Snack, Street Food

I don’t even know how I am typing this during Ekka season, but I feel like a positive, renewed man that isn’t crippled by the conflict of his passion for a Snoop Daggywood Dog and fear of falling back in with the intoxicating world of carnies.

Which reminds me, me and my hands need to catch-up with Lee-Anne Locken ASAP. I mean, once a carnie always a carnie, I guess?

But anyway, I am positively loving life ATM and that is in no small part thanks to spending time with my dear, perky, hilarious friend, the iconic Keke Palmer herself. While I knew her way back when she was simply Lauren, I knew she was destined for greatness, quit my job as a High School drama teacher and became her manager slash coach.

Did I mention I was the inspiration for Mr. G? Well I was.

While I’m not at liberty to tell you whether she is legit joining morning television full-time, I can confirm that we had a delightful time catch-up, plotting a way to get a reboot of Scream Queens happening at Netflix – I need Stamos to show skin and I know they will help – and that she assured me that if she were going to morning television permanently, she would have me on as an entertainment reporter slash culinary wiz.

Say what you will about my culinary skills, a gorgeously gloopy Chickeke Parma Burger can prove very convincing to get what you need from your nearest and dearest.

 

Keke Palmer overjoyed about potentially smashing a Chickeke Parma Burger

 

Crisp, juicy chicken, sweet tomato sauce and a heaping pile of sharp parmesan cheese, if you didn’t think there was a way to improve upon a parma, you would sorely be mistaken. I mean, adding the bun and with it, the ability to eat with your hands without judgement? I’m a genius, I tell you. Even if I wasn’t really the first person to come up with idea.

Enjoy!

 

Keke Palmer overjoyed about smashing a Chickeke Parma Burger

 

Chickeke Parma Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 Kirsten Bunst
4 Chicken Parmigina Gershon
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 tomato, sliced
1 lettuce, leaves removed, washed and drained.
Jud Beerza Battered Fries, to serve

Method
Cook the buns and parmies as per Kirsten and Gina’s recipes, and make the mayo.

To assemble the burgs’ toast the buns and smear the insides with a little bit of mayo. Add a layer of tomato, then the lettuce, then the parma. Close the burger and serve with fries, devouring immediately.

 

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My favourite screamer

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Can you believe I’m still kicking along after close to a month back on – or off, I don’t know – the wagon of documenting my celebrity dates?

No? Me neither.

I mean, I welcomed a new nephew last week – which is always time consuming when you’re bound to be their favourite – and am working through the trauma of the Ekka is in town and seeing a rooster on a footpath next to the Brisbane River, so the fact that I am still awake and coherent is a shock to even me.

Thankfully when I was at my lowest point yesterday, I received a call from my dear friend Keke Palmer suggesting she come right over to give me a pep and keep focused on sharing my celebrity life with you.

That made me think of three things, a) Is she psychic, b) can I love her any more and c) what the hell am I going to make TV’s reigning scream queen?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Dolognese Parton

Main, Pasta

Sweet, sweet Dolly – just thinking back on our time together makes me want to cry tears of joy and thanks for having her in our lives.

If elections were held for Grand Master of the Universe today (and let’s be honest, they should be), Dolly would win by a landslide. I mean, yes Betty White would put in a good effort, but you’ve gotta back Dolly.

We first met Dolly while travelling across America; the trip went on to inspire Mark Twain to write The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and we met Dolly after fleeing a vicious lover’s quarrel with our now second favourite Twain.

Dolly embraced us with open arms and our beautiful friendship blossomed, which over time developed into a creative collaborative similar to JGL’s empire just about half a century earlier and our story boarding was hung, literally, on the (washing) line.

Not meaning to gloat, but we were heavily involved in the following hits: 9 to 5 (actually about lowering your standards), Jolene (a mutual nemesis), I Will Always Love You (obvs), Potential New Boyfriend (I was trying to convince her I could go straight), Baby I’m Burning (about a horrific STD incident), Applejack (it took Dolly a long time to clean that up from the filth I wrote. He didn’t pluck the banjo, that is for sure) and Why’d You Come In Here Lookin’ Like That (originally written as lickin’ my twat), to name but a few.

Despite our myriad of shared successes, our friendship is the shining star with Annelie and I by her side when she married Carl, there when Billy Ray asked he to be little Destiny Hope Ray Hannah Montana’s godmother and played an integral part in the inception of Dollywood.

As soon as we saw Dolly arrive, our hearts were filled with unending joy as she serenaded her way up the path to congratulate Annelie for getting into Medicine singing Dumb Blonde (oh yeah we have news, Annelie is going to be a Doctor).

Dolly was like a proud mother as we regaled her with tales of what we’ve been up to (aside from planning a Dolly tattoo, that pride in me was misplaced) and plotted how we could spend more time with each other.

Given that Dolly is the greatest person to ever exist and she fills us with happiness and warmth, the only thing that could do her any justice was a nice big pot of Dolognese Parton.

 

Dolognese Parton_1

 

There is nothing quite like a freshly made batch of bolognese, to make you feel happy and content. Given Dolly is a total firecracker and we have a penchant for liquefying our innards, we add a good whack of chilli to the bolognese, a real good whack, and it is all the better for it.

Enjoy!

 

Dolognese Parton_2

 

Dolognese Parton
Serves: 6-8. Or 3, with plenty of leftovers.

Ingredients
olive oil
2 onions, diced
2 stalks celery, finely sliced
1 large carrot, finely sliced
3-4 cloves garlic, crushed
1kg mince, ideally 50:50 beef and pork, but go with whatever you prefer
handful mushrooms, sliced
1 glass red wine
1 tbsp dried chilli, or a couple of small chillis finely sliced or a tbsp hot sauce (go with what you prefer, we add more)
3 x 400g cans of chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp dried basil
1 tbsp dried oregano
a bunch spinach, washed
spaghetti, to serve
freshly grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Heat a good lug (are we Jamie Oliver) of olive oil in a large pan or dutch oven. Go with the biggest thing you’ve got. Cook the onion, celery, carrot and garlic over medium heat for about five minutes, or until starting to tender. Add the mince and brown while breaking up with the wooden spoon.

Once the meat is brown, drain off some of the fat. Not all of it obviously, but depending on the quality of the meat you may have a ridiculous amount. Use your judgement?

Return to the pan and mix through the mushrooms until they have started to soften, it shouldn’t take longer than a couple of minutes. Add as generous a glass of red wine as your drinking will permit and cook off for a minute, before adding the chilli, canned tomatoes, tomato paste and dried herbs. Stir to combine and bring to a simmer.

Reduce heat to low and simmer half-covered for 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally.

While the dolognese is simmer, cook spaghetti (or whatever pasta you prefer) to packet instructions. I know we should be making our own pasta, but sometimes I just can’t be bothered.

When the sauce is done, stir through the bunch of spinach to wilt and remove from the heat.

Serve dolognese on a generous bed of pasta (I don’t mix it through the sauce so I can use the leftovers for other meals) and cover liberally, a bit too liberally, with parmesan. Herby garlic bread is also a good idea.

This makes a ridiculous amount so unless you’re feeding a large family or have had a particularly rough week and wine just isn’t cutting it, you will have to freeze the leftovers for another meal. Or for jaffles. Or actually, I’ve got an idea …

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.