Snack

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins

Americana Week, Party Food, Side, Snack

We thought it best to start off Americana Week by dropping in with one of our closest all-American friends and who is more red…white and blue than dear Taylor Swift?

Like many of our relationships, we started off as Tay’s staunchest of enemies following an altercation at Chateau Marmont in the mid-00s.

We were all young when we first saw her, I close my eyes and the flashbacks start…we were living in Beverly Hills with Lisa Vanderpump at the time and were trying to grift Lindsay Lohan, who was staying at the Chateau when TayTay and her entourage stopped us in our tracks and defended Linds.

While it used to be bad blood between us (these songs were both written about us), the three of us now have nothing but mad love for one another after T-Swiz accepted our baked apology during one of our 12-step programs.

Little known fact, but we are actually the ones that got Tay and our Hollywood friends first hooked on baking!

We made a beeline for Taylor’s Beverly Hills cottage as soon as we landed and were greeted by a batch of cookies and freshly squeezed OJ. It goes without saying, but Ms Swift is a delightful, saint.

We spent the morning baking it (our jetlag) off, gossiping about what has been happening in Hollywood since we left (other than Jaime King erroneously snubbing Annelie and I for a co-Godparent role with Taylor) and how hilarious it is that people don’t know we went back in time to choreograph the aerobics video to Shake It Off as a laugh.

Our wider circle of friends dropped by for an early 4th of July party and at Tay’s request we whipped up a batch of our universally lauded Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins.

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins_1

 

Regular potato skins are good, but if you want to really make them sing like Taylor, you’ve got to use sweet potato. The rich, sweetness is cut by sharp cheddar and a kick of chilli leaving a party in your mouth to which everyone is invited. Unlike our celebrity soirees.

Lucky we let you read about them!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins_2

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2-4 large sweet potatoes
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
4 shallots, finely sliced
hot sauce, to taste
pinch smoked paprika
chives, for serving
sour cream, for serving

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C. Thoroughly wash sweet potatoes and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until tender. Allow sweet potatoes to cool (leaving oven on).

Cook bacon in a small fry-pan for 5 minutes, or until crisp. Remove from heat.

Cut sweet potatoes into quarters, ensuring skin remains intact. Scoop out flesh, leaving roughly a 5mm layer of potato. If your potatoes are huge, cut them into smaller strips (like in the pictures) Place skins onto a baking tray, flesh-side down and bake for 5 minutes, or until golden. Turn over and bake for a further 5 minutes.

Sprinkle bacon, shallots and a dash of hot sauce into skins. Top with cheese and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until cheese is melted and golden.

Serve with sour cream , finely slice chives and a sprinkle of smoked paprika.

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies

Main, Party Food, Snack

Time travel is a many splendored thing, despite what The Butterfly Effect would have you believe. I mean, it isn’t all hover boards and future lotto numbers (although that reminds me…), but getting to spend time with dearly departed friends and experiencing major historical events (we were on the Titanic and accidentally caused the Captain to hit the iceberg) and even experienced Jurassic World when the world was in the actual Jurassic period.

It is fucking ace.

Thankfully we didn’t venture quite so far back this time (we weren’t wanting to be present for Stockard Channing’s birth or anything), dropping in to the late 80s to the set of The Golden Girls to discuss the importance of our placement on Bea Arthur’s will.

We have been dropping in on The Golden Girls for the best part of a decade now to experience the joys of the show first hand … and to try and earn Guest-Star Emmy’s by recasting ourselves into the episodes (it is actually Ben playing the Elvis impersonator played by Quentin Tarantino).

While at first dear Bea wasn’t thrilled to hear our visit had an ulterior motive, when we laid out our plans for the museum she was moved to tears by our love, adoration and the promise to ban Betty White (we love you Bets, but you know we need this museum to work for our grand plans to take off…).

Oh and obviously the Mini Beaf Arthur and Mushroom Pies didn’t hurt the deal!

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_1

 

There is nothing better than a dirty street pie, except of course a dirty home-made pie. By no stretch of the imagination is this meal dignified, but to me a good pie will never be dignified; chunks of veggies and meat bathed in rich gravy with a nice whack of pepper … to the extent that when I make this it is practically a pepper steak pie.

Obviously drown in tommy sauce for final, glorious impact!

Enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_2

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies
Makes: 18.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 brown onion, halved, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
500g lean beef mince
large handful mushrooms, sliced
1 carrot, peeled, coarsely grated
1 stalk of celery, coarsely grated
1 cup beef stock
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 sheets shortcrust pastry, just thawed
2 sheets ready-rolled puff pastry, just thawed
salt and pepper, to taste
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Heat oil in a medium frying pan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes or until onion softens. Add the mince and cook, stirring / breaking up any lumps with a spoon, for 5 minutes or until browned. Add the carrot, celery and mushrooms and stir until well combined.

Add flour and tomato paste to mince mixture and cook, stirring, for a minute. Pour in beef stock and cook, again stirring, until sauce thickens slightly. Remove from heat. Cover and set aside for 30 minutes to cool.

Preheat oven to 180°C. Cut the shortcrust pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Line eighteen muffin pans with the shortcrust pastry squares. Spoon mince mixture among pastry cases.

Cut puff pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Top each pie with a pastry square, scrunching any excess around the edge for decoration. Brush tops with egg.

Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and set aside in the pans for 5 minutes to cool. Serve pies with tommy sauce.

Empanada Stone

Main, Party Food, Snack

You know what is odd about our friendship with Emma Stone? We didn’t meet her in any kind of institution or other involuntary lock-up that normally leads to such beautiful friendships. Look, Ben did get locked up briefly after befriending two delightful old ducks from Washington and proceeding to get raucously drunk and heckle Emma during a performance of Cabaret – but Ben’s unceremonious turfing out wasn’t Emma’s fault. Despite taking out a restraining order against us, she clearly loved the fuss.

So how did we meet? Emma she had just finished filming Easy A and found that we had a mutual nemesis – the eternally smug-faced Penn Badgley. Penn attempted to steal Ben’s identity when he was majorly internet famous during the Great Moustache Cultivation of 2013. Let’s be honest, you don’t really need a reason to hate Penn Badgley, so having one was a bonus.

While our antics may have gotten Penn sectioned, Ben and I stayed out of involuntary confinement for a change – all in all a great success.

 

emma1

 

Despite the Cabaret incident, Emma has fond memories of the days of sabotaging Penn. As she now has a vendetta against whoever cast her in Aloha, she wanted to come over for lunch and discuss a glorious new revenge plot. We needed a recipe that would work like our fool-proof schemes – soft and buttery and inviting on the outside, with a fiery inferno waiting within. It had to be Empanada Stones.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

emma 2

 

Empanada Stone
Serves: 16 empanadas

Ingredients
Dough
2.5 cups plain flour
150g butter, cold
1 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 tablespoon white vinegar
iced water, to bind

Filling
500g minced beef
2 eggs, hard boiled and cooled
100g chopped mixed olives
1 brown onion, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed2 tablespoons tomato paste
1  cup beef stock
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano

Egg, additional for washing pastry

Method
Dough
Rub butter into sifted flour. Stir through egg and vinegar, and then add iced water until pastry binds. Knead gently until a disc is formed. Wrap in clingfilm and refrigerate for 30 mins.

Filling
Brown mince and soften onion in a large stove-top casserole dish. Add garlic, tomato paste and spices and cook until aromatic. Add stock and simmer for 30 minutes or until thick.

Stir through olives and chopped egg and allow mixture to cool to room temperature.

Assembly
Heat oven to 180 degrees C. Grease and line a large baking tray.

Roll out pastry to approximately 0.5cm thick and cut rounds of desired size. Fill with 2-3 tablespoons of mixture and press to seal, pressing with a fork along the sealed edge.Brush each empanada lightly with egg wash.

Bake 20-25 mins or until golden and crisp.

Cobert Downey Jr.

Party Food, Snack

While they are always a horrible choice, some people pull off coloured-lensed glasses, like RDJ, and some people don’t (we’re looking at you Bono). We tried to convince Bobs (we also call RDJ, Bobs) of this fact during our shared 90s rehab stint, but his look sold it to us.

Over the years we have acted as Bobs’ closest confidantes and despite some disagreements (we advised that he never work with Katie Holmes…on the advice of our friend, her daughter Suri), the friendship has been emotionally and professionally fulfilling.

Yes, we wanted him to fulfil us sexually…but that just seems to be how it goes with our friends, so it has never been an issue.

Bobs dropped over between the Australian and US release of Avengers 2: Age of Hard-On (it was definitely title and if not, I had one for Cap anyway), to discuss his work and provide him with crucial advice for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I reiterate, he really values our opinion.

For one of the highest earning actors, RDJ is so humble, kind and was terrified we would give him a bad review (the movie was magnificent, FYI) and cast him aside (it would never happen).

To celebrate his cinematic triumph and the fact we finally convinced him to push Marvel to sign us as we-can’t-tell-yet superheroes (it is in Phase 4), we whipped up a quick Cobert Downey Jr and discussed our enduringly loving friendship.

 

Cobert Downey Jr_1

 

You could never say a negative word about cob dip, nor you could put anything wrong inside a cob (well you can, but that is another arrest for another time). While I opted for the (comparatively) lighter spinach and vegie dip, nothing quite says Bunheads marathon like a cheesy bacon option.

Enjoy!

 

Cobert Downey Jr_2

 

Cobert Downey Jr
Serves: 4-8 if you’re social, 2 if you’re watching Netflix and 1 if you’re watching Netflix and emotional.

Ingredients
1 packet frozen chopped spinach, drained
300ml tub sour cream
250g cream cheese
1 packet spring vegetable soup
2 cob loaves

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180°C.

Cut one of the cobs up into 1 inch dice and lay out flat on a large baking sheet. Cut the top off the second cob loaf, dicing it into large chunks and hollow out cob, ripping it into large-ish chunks. Lay both sets of the aforementioned chunks and the empty cob on a second baking sheet.

Put both baking sheets into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden.

Meanwhile, mash cream cheese in a large bowl, and mix through sour cream, soup mix and spinach.

When cob is out of the oven, decant the dip into the hollowed cob and place on a serving dish. Whack the chunks of bread in a bowl, on a plate…where ever really. Then devour.

Adam Scottch Eggs

Easter Meggstravaganza, Party Food, Snack

Step three is probably the easiest of Easter Meggstravaganza to follow through with; they aren’t struggling or near death and they aren’t overwhelmed by their hero status.

They are just a TV star (go to 4:08, JLD gets it), after all. Plus, Adam Scott is obsessively in love with both Annelie and I, and would do anything for us.

We first met Adam during our BAT period (Before Amy and Tina) when we were trying to Catfish Amy Poehler into befriending us. Well actually, we were aiming to enter into a polygamist marriage with her, but friendship would have been great. While this particular scheme didn’t bring us to Ames, it did bring us to Adam.

You see, Adam Scott was also catfishing us hoping that he could sleep his way to the top with our persona Anneljamin Juddailes: Record Producer, Hip-Hop Mogul and multiple Academy Award Winner.

It was a messy time for all of us, but after working through our feelings on a scrapped episode of TV Catfish (I refused to both put on pants and be pixellated) we became close friends and well, Adam fell for the people behind the masks.

With Parks and Rec recently finishing Adam called us to let us know that he, and I quote “had some time on his hands and wanted to put them to use,” which was the perfect opportunity for us to all whip up a batch of our famous post-coitus snack, Adam Scottch Eggs and help Meg return to greatness.

 

Adam Scottch Eggs_1

 

Scotch Eggs have a reputation for being quite simplistic or unrefined, but with the right blend of herbs and the addition of hot sauce they become the perfect accompaniment for a beer with a generous dollop of Coolaioli. Enjoy!

 

Adam Scottch Eggs_2

 

Adam Scottch Eggs
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
10 eggs
800g good pork sausages, skins removed
1 small onion, finely diced
1 small clove garlic
handful of chives, finely chopped
handful of parsley, finely chopped
generous pinch nutmeg
1 tbsp English Mustard
½ tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp Tabasco, or to taste
150g breadcrumbs
1-2 cups plain flour
vegetable oil, for frying

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Place eight of the eggs into a pot of cold water and boil for 3-4 minutes. Transfer to a bowl of cold water, peel when cooled and leave aside to dry.

Put the sausage meat into a large bowl with the herbs, nutmeg, mustard, paprika and tabasco and season with salt and pepper. Mix it all together well and separate into eight patties.

One at a time, flatten out the patties, place an egg inside and wrap the patty around until it is completely coated. Leave aside.

Get three small bowls out and place flour in one, breadcrumbs in another and beat the two eggs in the third.

Again, one at a time, roll each sausage/egg ball in flour, followed by the egg and then the breadcrumbs until they are all crumbed and ready to go.

Pour vegetable oil into a large pan until it is roughly 2cm deep and place on stove over medium-high heat. When the oil has come to heat, cook them in batches until the crumb is crisp and golden and then transfer to a lined baking sheet.

When all eggs have been lightly fried, place tray in the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes or until the eggs are browned and cooked through.

Devour.

Devilled Meggs Ryan

Easter Meggstravaganza, Party Food, Snack

It is always a rush when following through on an egg-based ritual to return fame, foretold in a vision quest in Palm Springs, the celebrity desert.

For the past decade we have struggled with our dear friend Meg to find the correct celebs to force into helping our ritual to return us to the A-list, but alas it has only come true for two of us.

As we have known Meg for such a long time, having met her on the set of When a Man Loves a Woman (Annelie was her stunt double for the shower scene and I acted as her alcohol coach) and continued on as her personal security until we were fired for leaking stories to the tabloids and befriending her across the canyon neighbours, the T-Austins (in a dark period in our friendship, we egged her house).

Thankfully a desire for fame is a huge motivation for forgiveness and Meg never held a grudge and we still have fun with each other in the lead-up to our annual ritual.

In recent years Meg has been enjoying a slight career upswing, playing an obsessive stalker with OCD on Web Therapy (a role loosely based on one of my incarcerations) and we have taken it as a sign that she is on the precipice of returning to greatness. As such, we decided the best way to start this year’s ritual was with a batch of Sweet and Spicy Devilled Meggs Ryan.

 

Devilled Megs Ryan_1

 

The maple bacon counters the kick of heat and if our calculations are right, she should be having what we’re having…an A-list resurgence.

Enjoy!

 

Devilled Megs Ryan_2

 

Sweet and Spicy Devilled Megs Ryan
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
2 rashers streaky bacon
1 tbsp maple syrup
12 hard-boiled eggs, peeled
½ cup mayonnaise
1-2 tbsp Sriracha sauce
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tsp finely chopped tarragon
1 tbsp finely chopped chives

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line a tray with baking paper. While the oven is heating, marinate the bacon in the maple syrup. When the oven is at temperature, lay rashers on the tray until caramelised and crispy, should be about ten minutes. Remove from oven and set aside to cool.

Cut all the eggs in half lengthways and remove the yolk to a bowl. Mash all of the yolks until smooth-ish and then mix in the mayo, sriracha, mustard and herbs. Season to taste.

Spoon the yolk mixture back into each egg cavity and place on the serving plate.

Finely chop the maple bacon and sprinkle over the eggs. Devour and know that phase one was a success.