Pastrami Malek

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: The Gold Wing, Main

Today’s former Emmy winner slash friend dropping by to celebrate The Gold Wing is very special to me. Not to take away from my dear friends Garry, Marg or Ava obviously, but Rami Malek is such a lovely delight and we met through this year’s hopefully dominant force of nature Amy Sherman-Palladino.

I was hanging around on the Gilmore Girls set, desperately hoping to get that triplet storyline off the ground with Alexis when Amy asked me to show a supporting player around the lot. I lay eyes on Rami and immediately said yes, hoping to make him my husband.

While I didn’t succeed in wooing him outside of a brief, tender kiss under the gazebo, we did become friends and given he is just the sweetest, I vowed to make him a star. This in turn led to me contacting Mickey Rooney and getting him a role in the Night at the Museum franchise, and well, then he became a big, big fucking star.

Given he has been hella busy with Mr. Robot and winning Emmys over the last couple of years, we haven’t spent as much time together as we’d usually like to, so it was wonderful to just hang together and run the Drama and Limited Series acting categories together. As a former champ, he can’t go past my friend Matthew Rhys for The Americans for Best Actor in a Drama while I am still hoping Milo Ventimiglia can pull it off for This Is Us Making You Cry. Nobody is beating Darren Criss for Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie for The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. As a dear friend, I hope Peter Dinklage takes Supporting Actor for Game of Thrones, though the category is kinda wide open. And Supporting Actor in a Limited Series should go to Brandon Victor Dixon for Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert though a Finn Wittrock win for American Crime Story wouldn’t surprise me.

As seems to be the case with these odds fests, we were desperately hungry after we were done and thankfully I had a big ol’ hunk of Pastrami Malek waiting to sustain us. Because you know meat alway sustains me.

 

 

Another suggestion from Fame Hungry superfan Glenn DeLaCreme – beats ramen, no? – I was terrified to try making my own pastrami. But I persevered by combining a string of recipes I found online because I love my adoring fans, and I’m glad I did. Salty, spicy and sweet, this is the second best piece of meat you can put in your mouth.

The best being bacon, sickos. Obvi. Enjoy!

 

 

Pastrami Malek
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
1kg corned beef or beef brisket
2 tbsp coriander seeds, ground
2 tbsp smoked paprika, ground
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 tsp mustard powder
2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp chilli powder
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
The night before you plan on tackling this, rinse the corned beef under cold water for a couple of minutes before placing in a large bowl of cold water. Cover, transfer to the fridge and leave to desalinate overnight. You can use brisket, however the pink curing salt is meant to be toxic, so I was too scared to home-cure.

Combine the rest of the ingredients in a bowl, and rinse the corned beef once again. Generously rub the spices into the meat and place on a plate to come to temperature for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 150C.

Transfer the meat to a rack on a baking dish, cover tightly with foil and bake for a couple of hours.

Once done, remove the meat and allow to rest uncovered for fifteen minutes before slicing and devouring.

 

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George Takeios

Main

It is always difficult to maintain a friendship with someone you share an unbridled sexual chemistry with … thankfully, it has kind of become our thing.

We stayed close with George following our unplanned stint in the jungle and he and his husband Brad, have had us stay countless times (sadly, we stayed in guest rooms) and he even got us jobs as Julia Roberts’ and Tom Hanks’ stunt doubles on the film Larry Crowne.

George dropped by sulusolo however sadly he wasn’t there to share himself with us … just his congratulatory regards.

You see, buzz is building about this current catch-up project of ours in Hollywood and studios/networks are plotting to sign us any way they can! Don’t tell, but we would likely go with Netflix (unless Les is willing to give us the shared role of Probst’s on location assistants, and you know which location we will be on).

George excitedly shared what he had heard while we caught-up over a banquet of our George Takeios.

 

George Takeios_1

 

The Takeios, unlike our solo retreats to our respective bedrooms, were hot, spicy and were so tasty they make you weak at the knees. Enjoy!

Now to recalibrate the time machine to go back to Shatner’s big bash …

 

George Takeios_2

 

George Takeios
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 onion, diced
1 red capsicum, diced
1 green capsicum, diced
1 tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves, sliced
A pinch of paprika
1½ tsp cumin
1 tablespoon chilli powder
500g minced beef
250ml beef stock
12 corn taco shells
Grated cheese and lettuce, to serve

Salsa
2 tomatoes, roughly chopped
Juice of ½ lime
1 shallot, finely sliced
1 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped

Guacamole
2 avocados
Juice of ½ lime
2 tbsp sour cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Soften the onion and capsicum in the olive oil in a large pan over a low heat. Add the garlic, paprika and cumin and cook for 1–2 minutes. Add the beef and stir until it has browned. Pour in the stock, cover and cook for 45 minutes.

Mix the tomatoes with the lime juice, shallot and coriander, then season carefully to taste.

Mash the avocados with a fork, squeeze in the lime juice, add the sour cream, season and mix it all up.

Spread the taco shells out on a baking tray and place in the oven for 3–4 minutes until crisp.

Fill the shells with the meat, salsa, guacamole, cheese and lettuce or lay everything out and let everyone help themselves.