Nicolas Cajun Chicken Tenders

Oscar Gold

As far as Academy Award Winning dynasties go, the Coppola-Schwartzman-Cages are by far our favourite. We first integrated into the family after working as ghostwriters on the Nicolas Cage star vehicle (and grossly overlooked Best Adapted Screenplay contender) Valley Girl in the early eighties and have been considered members of the family ever since.

We also ghostwrote The Godfather trilogy, but that is another story for another time about another missed shot at Oscar Gold!

Nicolas dropped by unannounced, I assume as he sensed we would be celebrating the Oscars and he would want to help us find a way to move past our feud with the other great acting dynasty, the Shues.

As Nic, like us, is completely jane-o insane-o we decided it best to whip up something hot and spicy and see where the visit took us, so went with a batch of our Nicolas Cajun Chicken Tenders to discuss the Best Screenplay nominees.

 

Nicolas Cajun Chicken Tenders_1

 

The heat and spice hits you straight up, but is mellowed out by a garnish of yoghurt, lime and sweat-lodge spooning with Cage.

Enjoy…we sure did!

 

Nicolas Cajun Chicken Tenders_2

Nicholas Cajun Chicken Tenders
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp sweet paprika
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp ground black pepper
1 tbs vegetable oil (olive will do in a pinch)
1 tbs citrus juice (I prefer lime, but lemon would do)
2 chicken breasts
Lime wedges, sliced red chili and natural yoghurt, to serve

Method
Slice chicken breasts into long, 3cm strips to resemble a chicken tender.

Combine spices, herbs, oil and juice in a large enough bowl to marinate the chicken and place chicken in said bowl and coat. Cover with clingfilm and place in fridge for an hour or so to do the aforementioned marinating (Yes it is more of a spice rub, but whatever…I like to let my breasts stew).

Pre-heat oven to 180°C and remove chicken from fridge to come to room temperature for ten-fifteen minutes.

Spread chicken strips across a large lined baking tray and bake for roughly 20 minutes until golden and crisp.

Serve with lime wedges, chillies and yoghurt.

Or Lupita Nymang’o Salad.

Sean JalaPenn-o Poppers

Oscar Gold

To kick off Oscar Gold week, we thought it best to catch-up with two time winner and dear friend from our childhood trailer-park, Sean Penn.

After Jefferson-ing our way up and out of the park, we reconnected with Sean when we worked as Tom Cruise’s stilts on Risky Business and we’re inseparable for decades, with us playing a pivotal role in his charity work (slash community service, for us) in Haiti.

He is just the greatest and we would go as far as to call him our third favourite person that lives in a trailer. That is a huge deal.

Despite not having seen each other since we were thrown off the set of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty for stalking Kristen Wiig (we wanted her to be spokesmodel for our wig line), Sean was eager to drop by and park his motorhome in Annelie’s yard.

In honour of the feisty spirit of our friendship (and our mutual love of booze and booze related food), we decided to serve up a plate of Sean JalaPenn-o Poppers while we discussed this year’s winner odds (Best Actor may have an upset, according to our bookie).

Oh yeah, we also bonded over our love of blackmarket gambling.

 

Sean JalaPenn-o Poppers_1

 

The cream cheese counteracts the heat of the  jalapeños, while the garlic and paprika add a subtle depth. Plus, there is bacon and bacon in glorious. Enjoy!

 

Sean JalaPenn-o Poppers_2

 

Sean JalaPenn-o Poppers
Serves: 6…or 1? No judgement.

Ingredients
12 fresh jalapeños, cut across the top and deseeded
6 rashers streaky bacon, finely diced
250g cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1 clove garlic, crushed
½ tsp smoked paprika
1 cup flour
1 cup dry bread crumbs
1 egg, whisked
vegetable oil for frying, optional

Method
Fry bacon for 3-5 minutes or until lightly crisped. Leave to cool slightly.

In a medium bowl, mix cream cheese, garlic, paprika and cooled bacon.

One at a time, take a  jalapeño and spoon filling into the large end. Replace the tip and repeat until all of the  jalapeños are filled.

Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

In three separate bowls, place flour, breadcrumbs and egg. Take jalapeños and one at a time lightly score the skin before covering with flour, dipping them in the egg wash and coating them with the breadcrumbs. Repeat until complete and then refrigerate for a further 30 minutes.

You can either fry or bake the  jalapeños, I generally bake them as I am lazy / shouldn’t be trusted with hot oil. If baking, they take about fifteen minutes at 200°C. If frying, heat about an inch of oil in a large saucepan until it is hot. Then fry jalapeños one at a time until they are golden and crisp.

Alicia Keys Lime Pie

Dessert

It is fitting that we caught-up with Alicia during week of the Grammys; fitting and awkward, as she iced us out of winning one with her in 2011 in favour of Blue Ivy’s dad. Thankfully she opened up with an apology, as we kindly opened up our home and hearts to her in the hopes of rekindling our friendship.

Despite the recent animosity (and ourselves), it felt like no time had passed and we were those young ingenues on the set of The Cosby Show once more. We caught each other on what has been happening since we last spoke; she had two kids, we have once again taken the world by storm and have been thrust into the limelight.

We laughed about Kanye’s idiocy at The Grammys and apparent love for Beyonce (move on Kanye, she already has a husband that ruined our lives) and discussed Bill Cosby’s recent controversy before serving Alicia with a slice of humble Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie.

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_1

 

The tart kick of lime acted as a symbol for our pain over the, well you know what, and the period in her life when she didn’t have us (baby), while the sweet, delicate meringue was an offering of hope that our friendship could continue as sweetly as it used to.

Enjoy!

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_2

 

Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie
Serves: 8

Ingredients
375g can sweetened condensed milk
4 large egg yolks
½ cup plus 2 tablespoons key lime juice

Crust
1 ½ cups digestives, crushed
2 tbsp caster sugar
5 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Meringue
4 egg whites
1 pinch cream of tartar
2 tbsp caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C.

Stir together digestive crumbs, sugar, and butter in a bowl with a fork until combined well, then press mixture evenly onto bottom and up side of a 9-inch glass pie plate (quiche dish will do in a pinch). Bake crust in middle of oven 10 minutes and cool in pie plate on a rack.

Increase heat of oven to 180°C.

Whisk together condensed milk and yolks in a bowl until combined well. Add juice and whisk until combined well (mixture will thicken slightly).

Place egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and then gradually add sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Use to top lime filling.

Pour filling into pie crust and top with meringue. Make sure meringue completely covers filling and that it goes right up to the edge of the crust. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until meringue is golden. Cool pie completely on rack (filling will set as it cools), then chill covered overnight.

Serve by fallin’ face first into the pie and devouring.

Putting out the fire

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We used to be very close friends with Alicia Keys, having guest starred as Rudy’s friends in The Cosby Show episode “Slumber Party”.

And no, not that type of slumber party. There were no pills.

I played the groundbreaking role of Rudy’s transgender friend, while Annelie her sassy side-kick and Alicia the brains of the outfit. We forged a bond instantly on set and assumed that we would collaborate forever.

Cut to 25 years later and she dumped us in favour of Jay-Z on Empire State of Mind and we thought we would never forgive her for attempting to ruin our chance at EGOT glory.

Time heals old wounds though and we have decided to take a chance on trusting again and allowing her to be our Girlfriend.

I mean, we will probably win a Grammy soon anyway.

Picture source: Unknown.

Whatever happened to predictability?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Every Friday night during the 90s, our friend-date / Full House episode parties with Candace Cameron-Bure were so legendary that they were considering an edit to the start of the theme song.

We first met Candace Cameron-Bure while Annelie was working as a stand-in / body-double to the Olsen Twins on Full House and I was down the road acting as Mara Wilson’s PA (still the greatest job I have ever had) on the set of Mrs. Doubtfire.

Sadly we have been in a feud after an incident involving Melissa Joan Hart and Anna Chlumsky at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards in 1994 where, obviously, the police were called, buildings destroyed, charges pressed and our friendship destroyed.

After twenty-one years, Cameron-Bure reached out hoping to make amends and we felt it was time to, as Adele Dazeem said, let it go.

I hope my love of show tunes and peen doesn’t offend her like it does Kirk? This could be interesting.

Picture source: Fanpop.com

Ice(d) T

Drink

Yes, he isn’t the washing machine kid but damn Ice T is good company. Better yet, he definitely thinks we should become members of the HFPA for our contribution to the arts, Hollywood and the planet.

I think that is my favourite part about him.

We have been friends for some time, following a chance encounter on the Law & Order set where I was fired for sneezing when playing Corpse #2 (B.D. Wong over peppered my lunch after catching wind I would appear in Jurassic Park 2) and Annelie and Ice have been friends since their days hanging with 2Pac.

It was so nice catching-up, hearing about what our dear friend Coco is up to (she helped form and helped choreograph for our dance troupe, Jazz in your Face) and laughing about the time Meg Ryan caught us egging her house across the canyon…all over a refreshing glass of Iced T.

 

Ice(d) T 1

 

The rich flavour of the rooibos tea cuts through the tart lemon and raspberry, add to that the mint and sugar and you have the makings of a perfect summer drink for when you aren’t rapping or solving crimes.

Or learning to play the washing machine. Have I mentioned this kid is the greatest?

 

Ice(d) T 2

 

Ice(d) T
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 bags of rooibos tea
¼ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup raspberries
½ lemon
a small handful of mint leaves
ice, ice and ice

Method
Steep tea bags in a pitcher of freshly boiled water for 2-3 minutes, or to your liking. Remove tea bags, stir in sugar and leave to come to room temperature.

Once cooled, slice lemon into discs and add to tea with the raspberries and mint leaves.

Give a good stir, add ice and serve. With or without liquor, obviously.

Law & Order: Sexy Catch-Ups Unit

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you’re aware, we decided to prioritise this year’s dates based on levels of fame and importance…as we decided that the only way to have the Hollywood Foreign Press Association waive the So-Cal residence rule for membership, was to be in with the MEGA famous.

Who would have thought future co-best friend-om with Tina/Amy wasn’t enough?

Anyway, during the course of our scientific rankings, I incorrectly identified the kid that did this as Ice-T and I knew that if we didn’t catch/butter-up our (faux) number two for support for HFPA status, Annelie would get aggressive.

Justifiably aggressive.

What says, sorry your house overlooks Meg Ryan’s/why aren’t you as talented on a washing machine/when do we vote for the Golden Globes?

Picture source: RollingStone.com.

Guess who’s back?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We’re baaa-aaaack! We hope you had a lovely holiday period and were able to enjoy some down time…because we didn’t.

With the resounding success of the documentation of our catch-ups (aka the blog…that you are currently reading), we spent the break fielding calls from our celebrity friends (and hangers-on from the D-List) and hosting date after date.

Yes, we love it and enjoy seeing our friends but sometimes you just want to eat two kilos of cookie dough and take a nap in front of the fridge in your underwear, you know?

Anyway with such a volume of friends wanting to catch-up, we were forced to initiate a ranking system to deem who was more important to see. As such, obviously, Lil’ Bow Wow was the top of our list.

We’ve known Lil’ Bow Wow since he was even lil’er. You see, I was cast as Jonathan Lipnicki’s stunt double in Jerry Maguire for the airport scene; one thing led to another and I was escorted off the set for a brawl that Lipnicki started.

After recovering from the altercation, Annelie (she was Tom’s stunt double) and I set about enacting our revenge on Jonathan and stalked the set of Like Mike where we met and befriended Lil’ over our mutual hatred for Lipdicki and a burning desire to bring him down.

Nothing bonds three people like a revenge plot and nothing bonds three people for life like a failed revenge plot.

What says we will get him eventually, Lil’?

Picture source: Unknown.

Jeff Rib Probst and Elisabeth Hasselbeck Potatoes

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Main, Side

It’s been an exhausting 10 days, with many of our closest survivor pals dropping by for a Christmas catch-up. With every cookie, pie and fancy dessert, there was always one thing in the back of our minds – Probst.

Probst. Came. Today, dear reader, was finally the day.

As you would probably be aware, our relationship with Jeff Dreamy-McDreamy-Free-Pass-Eternal-Object-Of-Our-Affection Probst has been tumultuous, so he insisted on bringing a friend to dinner (likely to deter us from making him our prisoner/Misery-esque lover). Luckily, his guest of choice was the delightful Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the Survivor: The Australian Outback contestant that has the dubious honor of being the first contestant to be worldwide spank bank material/the second America’s Sweetheart (we still love you too Col).

Lis has been keen to catch up ever since she hit it off with Ben on the set of The View. After Jazz in Your Face’s resounding success on the Ellen Show, Ben was looking for further opportunities for the troupe while Annelie continued with plans to thwart future Elijah Wood movies and subsequently save mankind from further suffering.

Long story short, Ben provided a short, naked dance intermission during a heated conversation between Rosie O’Donnell and Lis. Ben’s interpretative and confronting (literally) interlude got Lis’s attention and lifelong friendship and scared Rosie from ever returning…for a while (the whole Iraq issue was a farce).

How else to make the love of our lives and his equally amazing date feel welcome?

Indeed, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However, the way to a man becoming your eternal (likely unwilling) love slave is through meat sweats and a food coma so terrible they lose the will to fight back. So, big meaty roast it was!

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The Jeff Rib Probst pulls out all the stops and is destined for special occasions only. Accompanied with crunchy, fluffy Lis Hasselbeck potatoes, this is a meal certain to impress.

Make sure you have plenty of cold ones on hand to wash down this deliciously meaty edible utopia!

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Jeff Rib Probst and Lis Hasselbeck Potatoes
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2kg approx. beef prime rib roast (allow one rib per two people)
8 tablespoons olive oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
12 medium size desiree potatoes
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
Salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 220 degrees. Using a small paring knife, make small slits in the top of the prime rib (ribs facing down) and insert slices of garlic. Rub with four tablespoons of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 20 minutes in a cast iron roasting tray.
Meanwhile, wash and peel the potatoes. Using a sharp knife, halve potatoes and then cut fine slits, leaving 1cm at bottom of potato half to ensure potato stays together.
Once beef has cooked for 20 minutes, add potatoes to roasting tray and drizzle with extra 4 tablespoons olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast meat and potatoes for another hour for rare beef, or until cooked to your liking. Allow meat to stand for at least 20 minutes, while potatoes finish cooking through.
To serve, sprinkle potatoes with caraway seeds and arrange around the roast on a large platter. Serve with cherry gravy or other delicious seasonal sauces!

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Happy Christmas from the Fame Hungry team and all our celebrity besties!

J’Tiamisu

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Dessert

I’ve said it before (well, at the very least alluded to it), sometimes we are terrible people and that is how we first connected with Cagayan contestant, J’Tia Taylor.

Don’t get me wrong, while her moves with the rice were pretty cruel/amazing, J’Tia is a lovely friend…it is just that we befriended her to try to live out Annelie’s dream of going to space.

You see, while we could have used our friendship with Panama contestant Dan Barry to get on the space program, I incorrectly read her profession to be Rocket Scientist when she was on the Brains tribe (she is a Nuclear Engineer, a job I still wouldn’t understand).

You see, I convinced Annelie that J’Tia could build us a rocket and we could cut out the middleman that is NASA. After a year of awkward hints, blatant threats and blackmail, J’Tia kindly told us she couldn’t build us a spaceship, but offered her friendship as a consolation prize.

To celebrate our first Christmas as friends, we decided to catch up for a dessert of J’Tiamisu as a symbol of her sweet nature…and the fact that we all may need a boozy dish to get along/be tolerable humans.

 

J'Tiamisu 1

 

Inspired by Nigella Lawson’s Tiramisu layer cake, the dish is made of a chocolate cake base, with Tia Maria providing the coffee and the kick. We decided to serve them in individual martini glasses so that we wouldn’t have to worry about portion control (lest J’Tia thought we were going to vote her out) and as we love anything kitsch, and they looked kitsch.

Enjoy!

 

J'Tiamisu 2

 

J’Tiamisu
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
700-1000g chocolate loaf cakes (shop-bought variety is fine)
400ml (ish) Tia Maria
1 tsp cocoa and 1 tsp espresso powder combined, for dusting

Cream Filling
2 large organic eggs
75g caster sugar
500g mascarpone
250ml double cream
125ml Tia Maria

Method
Wash and dry 8 martini glasses and leave aside until assembly.

Slice the chocolate cakes thinly, and pour the Tia Maria into a shallow dish (keep the bottle handy as you may need more), ready for soaking the cake.

Whisk the eggs and sugar, mascarpone and double cream in an electric mixer (I am lazy, you can just use a whisk). Slowly add, the 125ml Tia Maria and continue whisking until light, fluffy and combined.

To assemble, dunk the slices of cake in Tia Maria and press into the base of each martini glass (it will probably be a slice per glass at the start), ensuring that the layer is firm but not too thick. Spoon a layer of cream filling over the cake (roughly 5mm thick). Continue layering, alternating between cake and cream until you have almost filled the glass.

Finish with a generous layer of the cream mixture and dust with cocoa/espresso powder mix.

I always want to add cinnamon, but I think I have an unhealthy obsession with adding cinnamon. Maybe don’t add cinnamon?

Eat straight out of the glass and pretend you’re at a festive swingers party in the eighties.